Angela's Hope (Wildflowers) (30 page)

Dear Lord, I will have to tell them. He dreaded even saying it, because saying it made it more real. This wasn’t some sort of nightmare that he could wake from, tomorrow he would go to work in the fields and come home and his darling beloved would be there still growing with child. She would smile, be tired and he would rub her back.

The Harpole ranch was buzzing with activity. John had a rifle and a wagon pulled around in front of the barn. Two men were dragging a tarp across the front lawn.

“I heard the all clear shots.” Lucas said, his voice sounding ragged to his own ears. Why was he talking about the wildcat when his world was falling apart?

“Yes, there were two females. I shot one, and Hank here shot the other.” John looked tired but he was taking care of business. John looked at Lucas sharply then looked down at his hands.

Lucas saw on one of his hands there was blood, probably from the blankets. He had pulled the quilt from the bed and thrown it in the shed. He would burn it tomorrow.

“I. Uh..” Lucas felt at a loss. “Corinne woke up just an hour ago. We believe she lost the child.” Lucas choked on the words.

He heard John and a few other gasps but only felt the hot pain in his guts again. He had said it. It was real.

“I need to go get the doc, but she made me promise to be safe. I had to make sure the wildcats were taken care of.” Lucas said, his voice thick with emotions. He suddenly was so very weary.

“Let me go, I will get the Doc back here.” John’s head rancher Hank volunteered. “Go be with your wife.”

“Thank you, Hank, I don’t know what to say, I know you must be tired.” Lucas didn’t want to be a burden but he wanted to stay with his wife.

Hank just whistled and someone handed him a mount, Hank was galloping off before Lucas could protest anymore.

“How is she?” John asked huskily. He had tears running down his cheeks, in his own form of pain.

“Not good, weeping then quiet. There was so much blood, but she had the strength to stand.” Lucas said softly. John looked as devastated as he himself felt. The sympathy was Lucas’s undoing. “Oh, God.” He choked out a coughing sob and John grabbed him. They cried together over the shared loss.

“Go back to her. I am here for anything you need. Tell Violet we will handle any meals. I will hire someone to do the cooking for all of us.” John grabbed his handkerchief and wiped his face. His pain was still etched across his eyes. “I will come by in the morning. I am certain that Marie will want… dear lord Marie.” John had his own news to share. Lucas now knew the dread of it. John embraced his son-in-law again and sent him off. This short interlude had bonded them closer than he realized possible.

Lucas ran back to the house to be at his wife’s side. There were no right words to say but he would hold her.

* * * * *

It was dawn when the doctor left. He had made sure she was safe from any danger of bleeding too much. He did confirm that she had lost the child. But he tried again and again to confirm to her that she was young and many women had miscarriages and were able to have children. Corinne was numb and just tried to agree with whatever the doctor told her.

He gave Corinne a few sleeping drops in her tea and soon she fell asleep.

The doctor gave instructions to Lucas and Violet. To be prepared for lots of tears and up and downs for the next few weeks. She will probably spot and bleed off and on for a few days but if she bleeds heavily to come for him immediately. Her body will have to adjust to the changes gradually.

“Her body will still think it is pregnant and she may feel very sad for a while. Just let her talk through it as much as possible.” He instructed. Lucas thanked him as he left.

Lucas and Violet shared the daily duties, Marie came by later to sit and cry with her step-daughter. It was a long day for everyone.

Chapter 30
- Angela

The morning mist hung heavy as the steamship chugged along the Willamette River. Angela clung to the edge of the railing on the top deck next to Clive to watch the landscape as well as they could through the fog.

Angela’s heart was still a bit numb after all she had gone through. There was a part of her that wished she had come back after Ted had left. That parting had been hard enough. But she knew she would always have wondered about her brother’s safety. He would still be in her prayer’s but in a different way. She knew she had to let him go. Almost like another death. It would be the only way she could not feel the pain as much. The rejection was there, in the pit of her stomach but she pushed it back down whenever it tried to surface.

With God she knew she could handle this pain. Piece by piece God would help her and He would put her back together.

It felt an eternity of gliding along the river before the whistle blew. They were porting!

Clive and Angela departed with trunks and bags and made quick time of finding a wagon. They first headed to the Mercantile. They dropped off a few packages to JQ, Clive gave a brief but good report to his son and they were off on the wagon to get Angela back home.

* * * * *

The knock at the door surprised Violet who was pounding out bread dough on the counter. Her hand and apron a mess of flour but she did her best to wipe off the remnants on any clean part of her apron she could find as she made her way to the door.  Violet smiled broadly as she saw Clive upon opening the door. He was such a nice man. She thought highly of him since he had found her this job with the Grant family. Beside Clive was a pretty gal in a dark green dress and a brown bonnet, there was a few red curls escaping the sides.

“Is Corinne home, or at her lab?” Clive asked. Violet gestured for them to come in.

“Well, Corinne is not seeing anyone right now. She is in bed.” Violet felt bad for blurting it out but she hadn’t prepared for visitors besides the doctor and family.”

“In bed, is she ill?” The redhead spoke with concern and an urgent tone.

“Are you Angela?” Violet asked.

“Yes, Angela Fahey.”

“I would think you would be allowed back then, you might be the one thing she needs to perk back up. She lost her child a few days ago and has been feeling low and poorly.” Violet shared. All that she had heard from Corinne about Angela she knew that Corinne would not have kept the truth from her. She saw Angela’s tears form. She wasted no time and with swift motions was out of her coat and bonnet in seconds.

“Go Red.” Clive said, his voice low and sad.

Violet and Clive shared a cup of coffee as Angela left the room.

* * * * *

Corinne was not tired anymore in a sleepy way but her body was exhausted. She had sent Lucas out that morning to get some work done. She was going to be fine, she had told him. She really just wanted some space to pray and think. Her bible was at her side. She had been browsing through it when she heard the knocking at the front door.

She was only mildly curious, guessing it to be Marie or Lucas asking Violet about her. Her father had stopped by three times yesterday. She felt cared for certainly but she knew the hardest part of this journey would be just facing the reality of it little by little.

The tiniest knock on her bedroom door was what surprised her.

“Who is it?” Corinne asked, she knew that Violet usually only knocked once and entered.

“Someone who has missed you.”

Corinne heard the voice of her friend and then with the door open she saw her. It was the one unexpected thing that filled her heart with joy.

“Oh Angela!” Corinne cried against her friends embrace. Angela was sitting on the bed next to her they rocked and cried together.

“I am so sorry, Cori!” Angela said sincerely through her weepy voice.

“No, no, no, not today. Today is celebrating my sister returning.” Corinne held her friend and they laughed and cried together for a long while.

* * * * *

After a while Clive joined the girls and gave Corinne a fatherly hug. He had spoken at length with Violet and had even stopped outside and chatted with Lucas. Everyone was putting their bravest faces on and trying to be strong for Corinne.

Clive and Angela talked with Corinne about San Francisco and kept the topic light. Corinne was glad of it. She wanted a night to forget about the heaviness in her heart.

After a time Clive left to go visit with his granddaughter Chelsea and see the children. Corinne and Angela both sent their blessings.

Angela found Corinne a little changed. More mature perhaps. Corinne said the same to Angela.

“You mentioned in your latest letter about your courting with Ted Greaves.” Corinne asked. Her enthusiasm was there but Angela could tell her friend was still weak.

“Yes, he is...” Angela smiled a bit and sighed. “He is wonderful.”

She showed her the silver bracelet and told Corinne about him, and how he left just a few weeks before by ship back to New York State.

“He has promised to send a post when he arrives safe.” Angela shared.

The next hours were spent in sharing, the good and the bad of the last months.

Corinne cried with Angela as she had shared the experience with her brother and his ultimate rejection, and Angela had cried with Corinne as she shared the recent loss of her pregnancy.

“I wondered a little about my coming west, one night in the dark on the steamship. It was originally to reunite with him. But I can say with my heart that you, Corinne, are my home. The sibling that has never betrayed me.” Angela let the emotion take over and sobbed in her friend’s lap. She let out a portion of the hurt and rejection in that moment they shared.

“I missed you so very much, but I think in time you will be glad to have seen a glimpse of him, even just to know he is safe.” Corinne said as she stroked her friend’s hair.

“I know that is true. Even if it had not gone so well as I had hoped. He looked like my father.” Angela sat up and grabbed a handkerchief from the side table. She wiped off her tear-covered cheeks. “He sounded like him too. I remembered.” Angela smiled weakly.

“We are a pitiful batch of emotions today. Considering we are having our own little reunion.” Corinne said.

“Yes, but I know we will make it through this hard day, to face another, perhaps each day will get easier.” Angela said. She clasped her friend’s hand and it was a quiet moment for them to draw strength from each other.

“Are you in any pain?” Angela finally asked.

“A little, very sore in parts and mostly just exhausted.” Corinne frowned a minute. “I still have this lingering guilt, like perhaps I worked too hard or had done something wrong.” Corinne admitted.  “But I have to say that God is helping me work through these feelings. Lucas has been good to me too. We will try again when it is time.” Corinne let the tears fall a little more and her friend did her best to comfort her.

Over the next week Angela barely left her side. Corinne was up and moving around soon and they began taking short walks.

The spring air was damp and earthy and the breeze carried the girls around the property as they both grew stronger.

Dolly made many visits to make sure everything was being done the way things were supposed to be but Corinne felt like her work would have to wait as her body healed.

Corinne wanted to try a trip into town to see the Doctor instead of forcing him to keep coming to her. Dolly was well practiced at driving the team so she joined with Angela and Corinne.

Town was busy as Spring always was good for commerce. People needed supplies and to begin the annual time of rebirth. It was the season to begin things anew.

Doctor Williams was glad to see Corinne up and around. Angela and Dolly waited patiently for Corinne and stayed out in the front room and chatted with Persephone.

“I am looking forward to the new church building. I hear they are starting the building next week.” Dolly said to the doctor’s wife.

“Yes, I am so thankful to have come to the Spring Creek church. Corinne was wise to invite us. Perhaps she knew I was just too shy to fit in with the fancier church in town. I get so flustered with some of the elegant folks there. There are many city founders and important people. I always feel foolish.” Persephone stated. Her and Dolly had spent some afternoons together after Sunday service. The Harpoles had invited the Williams to Sunday dinner several times.

“I am glad to be at my home church again. I have a lot of people to get reacquainted with.” Angela said. She was behind on a lot of happenings within the community and felt a little out of touch.

“The valley will give you time to settle in.” Dolly said and her sweet shy smile made Angela think that she would indeed find her place here again.

“That is poetic, Dolly, I like that.” Persephone said. She gave Dolly a little nudge and Dolly surprised everyone with a laugh. Dolly was always such a quiet person, a busy bee, Cori called her. Her laughter was a rare blessing.

After Doc Williams let Corinne go with instructions and a promise from her to ease back into a routine the girls headed into town to visit with Clive if he was available.

The mercantile was bustling. The girls kept themselves busy looking through the shelves while JQ was helping customers. Corinne pointed out to Dolly and Angela that she could hear Clive’s voice from the back rooms.

After several minutes the store cleared out of customers and JQ had a break. Corinne spoke with JQ and made sure he was re-introduced to Angela.

“I remember her well. I am glad you are safely back in Oregon, Miss.” He said with sincerity.

“Well thank you, I am very happy to be home.” Angela kept looking at Corinne who had made jokes at home about how much JQ looked like Clive. Corinne was acting silly and smiling a lot. Angela was trying not to laugh.

Mrs. Quackenbush came through the back door and when she saw the young ladies at the counter it appeared like she was thinking about turning around. JQ said “hello” to his wife and she sighed and walked toward the counter.

“Good to see you again Mrs. Quackenbush.” Corinne said. “You are looking well.” Corinne looked to her friends and was going to make introductions.

“I heard a rumor about you Mrs. Grant,” She said, her voice was low.

“Ma’am?” Corinne said with surprise in her voice.

“Millie…” JQ said quietly and gave his wife a nudge with his elbow.

“I am sorry about your loss.” Millie stated, almost grumbling.

“Thank you, Mrs. Quackenbush. I am recovering.” Corinne said quietly, her smile and demeanor shifted. “I would like to introduce you to my friends. This is a dear friend, Dolly and this is Angela Fahey, she stayed with your son and daughter-in-law in California for many months.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you.” Angela and Dolly both said in their turn.

“I am sure you are looking forward to seeing your grandchild Silas. He is such a dear boy.” Angela was trying to lighten the mood. Corinne’s cheeks were a little flushed.

“Yes, child, I am. I will be just as glad when they are away from that city of sin. I have been vexed with Clive for this past year for sending them there. Wretched place.” Millie said with more enthusiasm.

“They were not sent. It was a fine place until the Gold Rush started. They are wisely moving closer.” JQ was obviously uncomfortable. “I read in a letter that you helped with the birthing Miss Fahey?” He smiled at the redhead.

“Well yes, but I would be happy if you called me Angela. It was my pleasure to be a help in any way.” Angela said as she tried to understand the strange tension in the room.

Millie harrumphed and cleared her throat.

“Mrs. Grant, pardon my mentioning it, but as one Godly woman to another…” She leaned forward over the counter and looked at Corinne squarely in the eye. “Perhaps you would be wise to keep your focus on your husband and home and then perhaps God will be blessing you with an offspring.”

Angela and Dolly gasped.

JQ yelled. “Millie!! You mind your own.”

Corinne looked as if her face had been slapped. It turned a burnish red then changed to a ghastly pale.

“I …” Dolly said then stopped. “I think you mistake concern for slander, Ma’am. I thought it was God’s job to instruct his flock.”

Millie Quackenbush gasped but was gently guided away from the counter by her husband as Corinne and her friend left the mercantile. Corinne had a small bolt of cloth still in her hand when she left and Angela took it from her. Seeing the shocked tears still threatening to spill from Corinne’s eyes.

“I will take it in.” Angela said and ran back into the store. She placed the cloth on the counter. JQ was still in the back of the room having a heated discussion with his wife.

Dolly and Corinne were sitting on the bench. Corinne was pale and speechless. Dolly was speaking in low tones.