Angels in My Hair (11 page)

As the floor manager walked away I said to myself, 'So that
is what is wrong.' I walked into one of the customers' changing
rooms where I called Michael, and he appeared.

'Why didn't you tell me about the firebombs?' I asked.

Angel Michael never answered my question, instead he
reached out and put his hand on my head and all the concern
and worry was taken away from me. I really don't remember
much about the next few weeks; it was as if I was in a dream,
in another time and place.

Joe was very concerned. He would say, 'You are not yourself.
You are not talking. You seem to be somewhere else.' He would
ask, 'Have I done something wrong? Don't you love me any
more?'

'I'm just tired,' I would reply. 'I'll be okay in a little while.
Don't worry.'

It was very hard for both of us that I couldn't share this with
him; but then the bombs went off. I was not conscious of the
day of the week: time was of no consequence, I was oblivious
to it. Standing at the rails in the department store, late one
afternoon, I was startled by muffled sounds nearby.

As I write this I find myself reliving the experience of what
happened that day.

'I am beside a bus, holding a man in my arms as he dies. I am
watching angels gathering souls that are leaving human
bodies; seeing some little souls and talking with them as if
nothing has happened.

I am watching angels kneeling beside people, holding them
in their arms, being with them, whispering in their ears that
they will be all right.

I can see people running out of shops, angels shouting for
help and trying to get the attention of people passing by
.

It is horrific.

I cannot feel my human body; it's as if I am in two places
at the same time – out on the streets of Dublin, where it is all
happening, and at the same time in the department store
standing at a rail of garments. I am moving along the streets
without my feet seeming to touch the ground. There is debris
flying everywhere, broken glass, people screaming and
crying, souls leaving their bodies. I am laying my hand on
people as I move along, reaching out and touching them.'

That day, my soul left my body and I was in a different world
– out on the street with those that were suffering. Slowly, I
came back to myself in the store. I realised I was clinging onto
the bar of a clothes rail so tightly that my hands had gone very
red. The shop was so silent.

The next moment, a young girl burst through the shop
doors screaming and shouting in a terrified state. She ran
about the shop screaming that bombs had gone off, that there
were bodies everywhere. She was looking for her sister who
worked with me in the department store. Somehow, the two
sisters met and the young woman started to calm down.

Then one of the management staff went to the office and,
using the microphone, announced that all staff were to meet at
the back entrance of the store in five minutes to be taken
home.

I knew it was all over! There would be no more bombs going
off in Dublin that day. As I went down the stairs to the cloakroom,
an angel whispered in my ear to go back to the telephone
at the staff entrance and ring my mum. So I turned around and
walked back towards the phone, made my call, spoke to Mum
and told her I was okay. I hung up, ran downstairs and grabbed
my coat. All the other staff were already coming up the stairs,
heading for the back entrance of the store.

The delivery trucks were lined up and each of the drivers
called out the different destinations they would be driving to.
I climbed into the van that was going in the direction of Joe's
mother's house. I was dropped at the door. Inside they were
watching the TV news. Joe's mum hugged me and said she had
been worried about me. We had a lovely cup of tea and I
started to feel better. Then dinner was put in front of me; I was
so hungry I felt I had not eaten for weeks. Then Joe arrived
home and threw his arms around me. Everybody in the house
was in tears, feeling the pain of all the families that had lost
loved ones and all of those who had been hurt. As a result of
the bombs in Dublin that day, the 17 May 1974, twenty-six
people and an unborn baby died and hundreds more were
injured.

Living in the Republic of Ireland, we had had little
experience of the horrors of war, up to that day, but in
Northern Ireland, less than two hundred miles away, more
than 3,000 people were killed over the period from 1969 to
2000. Until then, we had little idea what it was like for those
people in Northern Ireland, or in any other part of the world,
to live with bombs going off without warning.

Angel Elijah once said to me: 'It is easy to make war: peace
is the hardest thing to keep. You think that going to war puts
you in control. You forget who gave you the power in the first
place, and that he can take control at any time.'

For a long time after the bombs went off, my body and soul
were hit by shockwaves, spiritually, physically and emotionally.
I could feel the terror of those who were hurt and those
who had died, and the shock of the families and friends. I
could hear their voices, their crying. For months, faces would
appear in front of me: not only the faces of those who had died,
but also of those who were seriously injured and trying to stay
alive and the faces of their heartbroken families. I was
tormented by the horror of that day.

The angels did what they could to protect me as those
shockwaves blasted me. They wrapped me in what felt like a
blanket; it felt so soft around me, like feathers, and it was snow
white with what I would call an electrical charge running
through it, sparking all the time. It was huge; I was amazed by
its size.

Angel Elijah held my head in his hands, saying 'Lorna, we
know this is hurting you. We have wrapped a blanket around
you to help make it more bearable. It helps to keep your body
and soul together.'

Then Elijah blew on my face and disappeared, and I felt a
little stronger.

The days and weeks passed; I would still have to find places
to hide where I could cry. Sometimes, during my lunch hour,
I would go to the car park. When I knew there was no one in
the loo at work, I would hide there. On other occasions I
walked through the back streets to find a corner or an old wall
where I could sit. Many times I told the angels I wanted to be
alone.

On one of these occasions, Angel Elijah appeared; he would
not leave me alone. Again, he took my face in his hands. Then
Angel Elijah and I seemed to become one. It was as if I was
seeing through his eyes. I was seeing all the horror of the
world: the wars, the hunger, the mistreatment of human
beings by other human beings. My soul screamed in pain.

Then Angel Elijah showed me the other side: the wonderful
love, laughter and joy and all that is good in humanity. I
laughed and tears of joy rolled down my cheeks. When Angel
Elijah disappeared I continued crying tears of joy.

I walked back to work that day knowing that every man,
woman and child has that good, that love, that joy inside of
them. I believe one day it will overcome all the bad and the
human race will evolve triumphantly; body and soul united.

I used to babysit every couple of weeks for my Uncle Paddy
and his wife Sara. They had three little girls and lived in
Walkinstown, in the suburbs of Dublin. I would take the bus
directly from work to their house, stay overnight and go
straight to work the following morning. The kiddies were
lovely, gorgeous little girls, so I never minded looking after
them. It gave my uncle and aunt an opportunity to get some
time away – even if they only went to the pictures.

This particular evening, I was on my way to babysit and as I
sat on the bus, lost in my thoughts, I was disturbed by an old
lady who tapped me on the knee.

'Young lady,' she said, 'Your smile is filling me with
happiness.'

Just then, everybody started to stand up. I said goodbye to
the old lady as the bus pulled into Walkinstown.

While I was babysitting that evening, the doorbell rang; I
wasn't expecting anyone and I hoped the doorbell would not
wake the children.When I opened the door, I was surprised to
see Joe standing in front of me.

'Close your eyes, no peeping!' Joe said as he led me down the
garden path to the gate. 'Now, open your eyes. Surprise!'

Parked in front of us was a beautiful dark green Ford Escort.
Joe was so happy. His first car!

'Joe, where did you buy the car from?' I asked.

'One of the car dealers that comes into your Da's garage,' Joe
replied. 'I told him two weeks ago that I was thinking of buying
a car, and then this morning he arrived with this. Your Da and
the mechanic checked out the car with me and said it was a
bargain.'

I gave Joe a big hug; I was so excited myself about it. He
opened the car door and I sat inside. It was fabulous. I said to
Joe, 'You'd better go now. Pick me up after work tomorrow in
your new car.'

I waved goodbye to Joe as I closed the door.

Having the car gave us great freedom, and I always loved the
long evenings in the summer time. One of the places Joe and I
often visited on those long evenings was Celbridge House; we
would walk along the banks of the river and sit watching men
fishing, children swimming and parents holding the hands of
toddlers as they paddled in the shallow water.

I would also watch angels rising out of the water – seeing the
water clinging to them as they soared high into the air before
descending back into the water next to a child. Some angels
had wings, some didn't, but the angels seemed to spin around
the children having just as much fun.

I loved to see a child splashing water in the direction of an
angel – the splashes of water hitting the angel and it splashing
back – and hear the laughter of the angels mingling with the
children's laughter: to see a child dive under the water and an
angel do the same thing at the same time was wonderful! One
time, the angels formed a circle around a group of children;
beams of light, full of colours – gold, silver and white –
reflected from the angels. Then the beams of light turned into
balls of all sizes, dancing on and under the water and through
the air. On one of the balls, an angel was riding. It was
astonishing to see this angel's wings – feathers dripping with
water, the golden hair wet with water. Another time, the angels
swung their heads from side to side, moving their wings
simultaneously, splashing sparkling raindrops of silver and
gold.

One day, sitting there by the river, I saw a wonderful
example of the way angels care for us. I watched a mother and
a little child, maybe about eighteen months old, at the edge of
the river. The little child was full of excitement at the water
running over his feet and the mother had her hands around his
waist, trying to teach him to get his balance and to stand on his
own. Sometimes she took her hand away, to see how long he
could keep his balance and not fall. I watched the child's
guardian angel sitting in the water under him. The child's legs
became a little wobbly and he went down. The mother couldn't
catch the child in time, but the angel did! As the child went
splashing into the water he landed right into his angel's lap in
a sitting position. Instead of crying, he started to splash the
water and laugh. I smiled at this. Joe asked me, 'What are you
smiling so happily about?'

I smiled at him and said nothing, so yet again I passed up the
opportunity to let Joe know a little of what I could see. He was
the only person I shared anything of my life with, but I was
afraid to tell him about the angels in case he would think I
wasn't all there.

'Let's walk further along the riverbank,' Joe suggested.

He got up and started to walk ahead of me, and an angel
whispered in my ear about angels helping us to do
everything
we do in life. Even walking, breathing, talking and laughing –
they are always helping us with every physical action we make
with our human bodies. Angels also help us to sort out
problems within our own minds; all the questions we have. All
the time they are whispering to us, putting answers into our
minds and thoughts, but most of the time we are so busy
asking questions that we don't stop to listen for the answers. I
heard Joe calling 'Hurry up' so I ran and caught up with him.

Walking along the riverbank in Celbridge, we had got to
know an elderly couple. Their names were John and Mary and
we met them quite often as they walked their dog, Toby, a
'Heinz variety' mongrel, but very lovable. The couple had lived
in Celbridge all their lives and had just celebrated their 30th
wedding anniversary; their children were grown up and had
left home and now they had all this time to themselves, which
they were cherishing.

One evening we met them and stopped to talk. Towards the
end of the conversation John said to Joe in a mischievous tone,
'When are you going to propose to this young lady?'

I blushed. I was so embarrassed I didn't know where to look.
I didn't dare look at Joe, so I don't know how he reacted.

Mary said, 'Don't be embarrassing the young couple!' She
took John's hand and started to walk on.

Joe and I walked on further up along the river and sat on
some rocks. I took my runners and socks off and put my feet
into the water. Joe suddenly got up off the rock and stepped
fully clothed into the water and got down on one knee. The
river was about one foot deep and Joe was on one knee in a
strong current. He was really wet. I giggled.

'I am trying to be serious,' he said. 'I want to propose
marriage to you!' He had one of his hands on my knee, trying
to keep his balance. 'Will you, Lorna, accept my proposal of
marriage?'

All I could do was laugh. I laughed so much that I fell off the
rock into the water. Joe caught me in his arms and we were
both soaked. We were both roaring with laughter. As Joe
helped me to my feet I said, 'Yes.' I was laughing too much to
say anything more.

We climbed back up onto the riverbank and we were still
laughing, squeezing the water out of our clothes – thanks be to
God it was a warm evening. As we were walking back along the
riverbank, Joe stopped. 'I have to ask your Da for your hand in
marriage. What if he says "no"?'

I thought for a moment and, remembering what the angels
had always said about Joe and me getting married I said, 'Don't
worry, Da will not say no. I know he will be happy for us.'

As we walked back along the riverbank people passing gave
us funny looks; a child said to its mother, 'Mummy, they must
have fallen into the river because all their clothes are wet.'

A group of men fishing shouted at us about going for a swim
with all our clothes on. We must have looked like drowned
rats. We waved to them and laughed. Just then, a thought
dawned on me. 'I hope the keys for the car are still in your
pocket and not on the riverbed!' Joe put his hand into his
pocket and shook his head. We must have lost them back up
the river where he had proposed to me.

'Okay, give you a race. Let's see who gets there first and finds
the keys,' I said, as I started to run.

Joe called me and I stopped and looked back. There he was,
standing with the keys dangling from his fingers and laughing
at me. I ran back to him and grabbed the keys, saying 'Race you
back to the car.' Joe reached the car before I did, not
surprisingly, seeing Joe's legs were twice the length of mine.

As we drove back to my home, Joe and I talked about our
wedding. We decided we would say nothing to anyone until
Joe had talked to Da. When we reached our house Joe would
not come; he said he would be embarrassed to be seen in wet
clothes. We kissed goodnight and he drove off.

The next day at work, just before lunch time, Aunt Sara
came into the store and asked me if I would babysit for her
again that evening. It was unusual for her to come into the
store like that, and it was clear that they were very anxious to
go out. I agreed, even though that was the evening we had
decided Joe would talk to Da.

Aunt Sara was delighted. She told me herself and Uncle
Paddy were looking forward to having dinner and going to a
show afterwards. I promised I'd be at her house as early as I
could be. We said goodbye and, as I watched my Aunt leaving
the department store, she was beaming, with light all around
her. I knew she was happy.

When lunch time came, I went to the back entrance of the
department store to use the payphone. I rang the garage and
when Da answered the phone I said, 'Hi, Da, can I talk to Joe?'
'Joe is outside. I'll call him,' Da replied. I could hear
excitement in my Da's voice. I said to him, 'You sound very
happy today.'

My da gave a little laugh and said, 'Here's Joe.'

I spoke to Joe for a few minutes and told him that my Aunt
needed me to babysit that evening. I asked Joe whether he had
talked to Da about our getting married.

'No,' he said. 'I'll leave it until tomorrow. I'll pick you up
after work, we will talk and then go to your house about nine
and I'll talk to your Da and ask him for your hand in marriage.'

'Joe, I could hear an excitement in Da's voice when I was
speaking to him just now; are you sure he doesn't know
anything?'

'No, I haven't talked to him, or anyone else,' said Joe, 'but
your Da is in a great mood today. Maybe he has had some good
news.'

'I hope Da can't hear you now,' I said.

'No, he's gone out to the mechanic.'

Someone came into the office just then so we said our
goodbyes and hung up.

I had an hour for my lunch so I planned to go out to enjoy
the beautiful sunshine. When I turned to walk away from the
payphone, I bumped into an angel and then I stepped into her.
She was all around me; she was big, huggable and beautiful. It
was the Angel of Mother's love. She had hugged me many
times before as a child, but this time the feeling was stronger
than ever.

The Angel of Mother's love is round like the sun and
enormous in size. Her wings are wrapped around her but
opened out, a little like a mother hen. Her arms are always
ready to embrace you in a big hug. Her colouring mingles
cream and white, and this time there was a hint of pink. She is
translucent and you can see a very bright light reflecting from
within her, but you cannot see through her.

Her face radiates love, her eyes are big like saucers,
sparkling with the light of a mother's love and she has
wonderful soft curls of creamy white hair. She radiates hugs of
love all the time; she is so huggable that you want to fall into
her arms and hug her, and be hugged by her. No matter how
much love you receive from your own mother, if you have a
mother, this angel always enhances a mother's love.

That day I was worried about my mother's reaction to Joe
and me getting married, and the Angel of Mother's love knew
I needed to feel a mother's love at that time: to feel more love,
perhaps, than my mother was able to give me.

I was so happy and excited about our engagement that I
constantly had a smile on my face. Valerie asked, 'What's up?
You seem very happy.' She kept badgering me all day, trying to
get my secret out of me. Towards the end of the day, when we
were sorting a rail of trousers together, she blurted out:

'I know! You and Joe are getting engaged! That's it!'

I blushed. 'Shh, it's a secret,' I said to her. 'Don't tell the
others.' I didn't want anyone to know until I had a ring, but I
was still pleased to be given the chance to tell someone.

'Where's your ring?' she asked.

'We don't have one yet, that is what I am trying to tell you.
Joe and I haven't looked yet. Maybe in the next few weeks, I
don't know. We've many things to work out. Joe has to talk to
Da first. Promise you won't say anything to the other girls?
You'll be the first to see the ring and make a wish.'

Valerie agreed.We stayed there chatting and sorting clothes
for a little while and then she went off to do the till. She kept
looking over at me with a grin on her face, but she didn't say
anything to anyone.

After work I got the bus to my aunt's house to babysit. On
the way, I asked the angels not to let my excitement show, as I
didn't want Aunt Sara or Uncle Paddy asking questions. The
angels kept me very calm and they never noticed anything.
The next morning I got the bus to work. The morning seemed
to be very long, so at lunch time I went for a walk around the
back streets and lanes around the department store.

I always found these back streets an oasis; a place where I
could get my thoughts together, to be by myself, to escape for
a brief moment from whatever the angels were asking me to do
at that time, and I would sit on a low wall, a box or even on a
door step. There was one lane, though, that I always avoided –
the one where Mark had been gunned down.

When work was over, I rushed down to the cloakroom, got
my coat, went back up the stairs and out into the car park. Joe
was already sitting in the car waiting for me. I was so happy to
see him.We drove to the Phoenix Park, parked the car, and sat
and talked. Joe said that if I liked, we could go looking for an
engagement ring that weekend. I said that would be nice – but
just to look at rings, not to buy. The angels had already told me
that Joe would find the ring for me, but not in the normal way.
Joe asked me if I would like to tell his mother about the
engagement. I said no, I would rather wait till I had an
engagement ring. We both agreed on that. Joe said, 'When we
walk into the house with an engagement ring on your finger,
she'll be so happy for both of us.'