Anna von Wessen (39 page)

Since the moment Vaya had allied herself with Anna, the latter had sworn to herself that she would never falter, never fail to protect the new object of her existence. She did not like that she herself had required the far greater part of that protection so far, in having beseeched wordlessly but earnestly for the great strength of Vaya’s tutelary promises. Truly she had never wanted, though she was forced, to take so much from her. Now that they were away from the source of Anna’s persecution, and they faced finally the real possibility of doing the kind of good which benefits both oneself and the remainder of the world – now she learnt that she was not so strong as she had thought, and perhaps not so able to follow through on what promises of her own she had wished to make. The words Nessa had used for motivation served now to torture Anna. Once more she felt weak, and helpless; and these emotions did not align well with the detrimental pride which had always been, and still very much was a part of her. The strength of the wolf was not so great as she desired – and she could hardly stand the shame which this provoked.

She did not quit the dining hall till all the others did. She considered for a moment departing directly after she had eaten, and returning to the one whom she had not wanted to leave to begin with; but she merely sat thinking as she had done since she arrived. Yet her thoughts were poor company, and only made her a little more uneasy with each passing moment, till finally she was squirming in her seat, and tapping her trembling fingers upon the table.

“Mila,” said the soft voice of Dio Constantín to her left. “Are you all right, my child?”

“Yes, Father,” she answered blankly. “Quite all right.”

Had she looked into his face, it would have been all too clear that she had persuaded him of nothing. But also he seemed to know that this was something deeper, something too distant for him to allay with his own affection, however great it might be. The one she needed was not him.

When finally the hall emptied, Anna rode on the very tail of its liquidating wave, desperate yet frightened to go. Vaya pressed against every inch, every surface of her thoughts; but also she was scared to face her. She knew it would be difficult. There would be the stinging wound of her own chagrin and inadequacy, meshed painfully together with the deep ache which was Vaya’s uncontrollable worry for her life. She paused when the corridor outside the hall had cleared, and pressed her back to the wall for a moment, attempting to regain the breath which was quickly getting away from her. She closed her eyes, and there came vivid flashes of light behind them, which illumined a host of memories filled with Vaya. It was the strongest storm she had ever braved within the bounds of her own mind: stronger than that which had blown on the night of the blasted heath; the night upon which the wolf first came to fill her; the night of Magen’s Pass; and even that night when she had returned from the latter ordeal, and found Vaya, only to have her taken away again immediately, with no assurance that she would ever return. This present was the most terrible, because it did not have to do with Anna’s fear for what she herself might lose – but rather for what Vaya would.

Anna sank down to the floor, with her shaking hands tangled up in her hair, pulling ruthlessly at its ends and resisting the urge to scream. The sound of Vaya’s voice came to fill her ears, and to caress the boiling surface of her brain. Her hands, her arms appeared out of the darkness to take Anna into their unending embrace. Anna’s breath quickened still more, and she needed clutch at the sharp pain which started up in her chest, as Vaya’s touch surged all over her; as her cool skin, so much softer than Anna had ever felt a Lumarian’s to be, came to press against, to move against every part of Anna’s own. All this drew Anna ever onwards, off the floor and down the corridor, even while she was unaware that she moved; but the thoughts which had come first, the thoughts which had kept her away, came again to fight the invisible magnets. If Anna disappeared now – if she flew into the blackness of the night, away and away till she hardly knew herself the way back, would all be set right again? Probably the Weldon wolves could relocate, could evade Ephram’s searching eyes somehow, if only Anna were not amongst them. Perhaps Vaya would leave them; perhaps she would return to safety, to a place where her destiny came clear again, and ceased to be so ghastly and grim. Vaya would not, could not forget her, Anna knew. But perhaps she could go on – perhaps she could go on, if Anna was not with her . . .

All this time she had continued unconsciously down the corridor, weeping hot tears that struck down against the stone floor. All the time she moved nearer to Vaya, even while she longed somehow to run away. Consequently her burning thoughts had reached out into the black, down through the long winding halls till they reached the bedchamber where Vaya sat waiting for her. When she heard them, she physically felt, and was filled with the pain that was Anna’s. She quit the chamber immediately, and shifted to the spot where she sensed the storm to be. Anna found herself quite suddenly looking into her face. Not the face of a memory, nor of an aching thought; but her own face, creased with angst and seeing only Anna.

“Come,” Vaya whispered. “Come . . .”

They came together. When they shifted, they cut like a spinning tornado through the air, and arrived in their chamber surrounded by wind, which blew like weightless leaves everything that had lain upon a battered desk in the corner, and swept the sheets and coverlet from the bed to the floor. Their thoughts each pounded heavily against the other’s, like frantic heartbeats colliding. The memories which had come upon Anna in the corridor without, returned now to mingle with the present, till she was not sure what was real.

Her tears would not cease, but only poured down like rain till they had soaked both their faces, and were dripping down to dampen their skins. Anna was momentarily distracted by the now-familiar feeling of the wolf, rising slowly through her; but as Vaya felt the shifting of Anna’s flesh and bone beneath her fingers, she took her lips away for a moment, and reached down with one hand for something which had fallen from her clothing. It was Anna’s Turin. She put it over Anna’s head; and with the sudden banishment of the wolf, Anna was knocked bodily down to the floor. But Vaya came to meet her there.

Anna’s heat filled Vaya like heavy smoke, even as the great strength of life which was Vaya’s own came to enter Anna’s body like a physical presence. Anna had never held her so tightly, only to feel such little relief. She could not convince herself that it all was hers; and as soon as it came, it drifted away from her like fog, the kind which disappears after rain into the cold.

“I hear what you think,” said Vaya, “and I want to make it go away. Do not doubt me, Anna. Do you know how I love you . . .?”

The words, mixed with the thoughts which moved behind them, made Anna believe. She believed in that moment; and the great feeling of peace which the belief engendered, did not depart. It was like a warm cover, which came to blend with the darkness as they went together to lie in their bed. The flames of the candles had been snuffed by their wind almost immediately after their arrival, and the blackness, the silence was now absolute. It was only when Vaya moved a little, and felt the skin of her back press against something small and hard, that she became curious enough to light another wick.

“What’s this, I wonder?” she said, as she went to searching the mattress for the object she had found.

Of course Anna knew what it was – though she was anything but sure how it had come to be there – and made use of the low flickering light to look herself for the thing before Vaya could come upon it. She caught its glimmer just beneath Vaya’s pillow, and snatched it up.

“What is that?” Vaya asked.

“It’s nothing,” Anna said quickly.

“Then why are you hiding it?” She pursed her lips, knitted her brows, and added, “Why are you hiding your thoughts?”

“I don’t . . .”

Anna looked for a long moment into her face, but then sighed heavily, and reached out to lay open her palm. “It’s for you,” she said, as she placed the ring in her hand. “I meant it for you.”

“You give this to me?”

It was all Anna could do to avoid Vaya’s wondering gaze. “Probably,” she said, “it’s not worth very much at all – but still I would like to see it on your hand. It’s the ring my father gave my mother, years before they left Russia. I engraved the inside.”

Vaya held it to the light, and examined the inner surface. Anna watched her face. She realised after a moment that she was holding her breath, and let it out with a dizzy whoosh. Vaya did not read the inscription aloud; but the words resounded repeatedly through her mind, and extended their echo to Anna. The words were four, and read this way:

“You are my eternity.”

Vaya looked into Anna’s eyes.

“I realise I could live long years,” Anna told her, “or perhaps I might die tomorrow. But either way it wouldn’t matter – if I did not have you.”

Vaya’s expression was indistinguishable. She looked several times from the ring to Anna, and back again. Her thoughts circled too quickly for Anna to hear them clearly; but finally she slid the silver band onto the second finger of her left hand. The fit was nearly perfect.

“The golden ring Krestyin gave me,” she said quietly, “you know well enough. But that I never wore. He tried to put it on my finger – but I took it away from him, and put it on a chain. He never understood, but didn’t seem much to care, so long as he could see it.” She looked up from her examination of the silver band, but seemed to have difficulty meeting Anna’s gaze. “My father,” she said, “gave me the ring of the Queen, which had been my mother’s – but as much as I wanted that title to be mine, still I did not prize it enough to wear always on my hand. A ring, to me, has a powerful – almost a fearsome – meaning. Some of the most powerful relics of the Lumaria are in the shape of rings. I knew I would never wear one, if it wasn’t the very most valuable thing I could think to own . . .”

Again her eyes were fastened on the silver ring. They shone brightly, and were opened wide.

XL:

The Pledge

D
uring the days which followed, nothing was spoken outright to either Anna or Vaya concerning the matters which most clearly pressed them; but to be sure those matters were not left to lie. Rather, the leaders of Xeros’s army met alone, and discussed amongst themselves the wisest plan of action.

In the first place, it is not in the nature of a Weldon wolf to run – and in the second place, their doing so would not have profited them much anyway.
To move themselves would be only to delay the inevitable. To the East there was Wolach; to the South there was Trydon. They knew very well that America, too, was no place for them. In their view (and it was not an unjust one) that land was filled with evil wolves, all overpowered by fear and greed. Even this most recent location of the Weld, they understood, had from the start been but a temporary home. They believed truly that, if it had not been for Anna’s coming, the same dilemma would have presented itself in some other way.

To hide, then, would gain them nothing; and in the absence of that option, they could only fight. The chances, if there were any, were slim at best. Yet they did not consider themselves defeated, and did not wholly believe that they were sending themselves in for the slaughter.
Yes, the chances were slim – but they did not believe in chance. There was only fate, and the destiny they had already begun to write. It would go on to the end, whether Anna were with them or no. But in any case it was not in them to turn away the blood and bone which lived within their very selves. None attempted to convince themselves, or anyone else for that matter, that Anna was not this very thing.

So, on a night about a week after their arrival at the fortress, Anna and Vaya were called again to the Table Room. Nessa had only just returned that very day from the house of Balkyr, and sat amongst the small group looking weary and worn. At the head of the table there were the familiar faces of Xeros, Dio, Leventh and Griel. All the lower
officers had been dismissed for this private meeting.

After exchanging with them the briefest of pleasantries, Xeros set his face, and looked seriously to Anna and Vaya. “You say,” he asked them, “that you are ready to fight?”

“Yes,” they answered in unison.

“You pledge yourselves, till death, to the Weld?”

“Yes.”

“Then there are things we must discuss.” He passed a hand over his face, and looked wearily to Leventh. “Tell them,” he said.

Leventh turned to Anna and Vaya with a smile. It was not a happy smile; but rather a brave one, which demonstrated that he would keep on in spite of himself. “If you are ready to fight,” he began, speaking directly to Anna, “then we must do it now. Ephram is no fool; and surely he knew that it would only fall back upon himself, if he did not notify Koro immediately of what had taken place. So now Koro knows what you are, and he knows you have fled. Doubtless he will not ask where. There is only one place, he knows – and though his brother at Drelho may not be desirous of seeking you out, he himself will stop at nothing to do so. He would not have an easy time of finding the fortress; but still, we cannot give him the opportunity. We must strike first.”

Anna simply nodded. Her mouth was too dry to speak.

“The scores stand thus,” Leventh continued.
“We know the Lumaria will gather at Drelho, and make it their temporary stronghold. That’s where the Weld will attack.”

“At Drelho?” said Vaya. “If they meant it as a stronghold, they would have chosen Night House. It seems they are anticipating your attack – and that they much desire it.”

“Probably you’re right, Vaya Eleria. But that is of no consequence. Anyhow – Nessa brings word from Balkyr that the fighting Endai, from his own house and several others nearby, will storm the castle with us.” He paused; and his brows knitted darkly together.

“It would be ideal,” he said finally, “if this were the whole of the situation. But alas – it is not.”

Anna and Vaya looked at him without surprise.

“
We sent our eyes to great distances. They have tracked the steward Byron Evigan, to the little town where he thinks himself hidden in Romania. He left clear tracks in his wake, even while thinking himself clever and discreet. Despite his foolishness, however, he has managed to organise a considerable problem. With promises of leading them in war against Koro and Ephram, he has gathered to himself a great number of the wild Lumaria. He has been working at this, it seems, ever since he disappeared from Drelho.”

But of course this news was not unknown. Vaya knew it from Ephram; and Anna knew it from Vaya. They articulated as much, and followed with the inquiry, how exactly it pertained to them? “You say he wants the leaders of the Lumaria,” Vaya added.

“Yes,” said Leventh; “but it’s the leaders of the Lumaria that we want, as well. That means we shall find our paths crossed with the steward’s.”

“At the same time, you mean to say?”

“Yes.”

“And how did he learn that Koro would come to Drelho?”

“He was steward of Drelho, after all, for long years. Perhaps he still has secret allies who informed him. But what matter how he knows? It is only important that he does.”

“
And if we wait,” Anna said quietly, “we will allow him first arrival. Then our way to the castle will be blocked.”

“Precisely.” Leventh sighed, and added, “If he were not such a stupid fellow, I would consider trying an alliance with him. Our aims, after all, are the same – but he is a very,
very
stupid fellow.” 

“Is that all?” asked Vaya. “Is there more we should know? It seems you hold something back.”

“You cannot pierce my thoughts, Vaya Eleria?”

“Even if I can – I assumed you would prefer to tell me yourself.”

Leventh looked at her wonderingly. “I knew you could not be like your father,” he said, “but I have never met such an honourable Lumarian!”

Vaya stared at him grimly.

“We knew already,” Leventh went on, “that Wolach had come. Both Dio and Anna can attest to it! You think he has gone?”

“Perhaps.”

“Of course he hasn’t! Well, if he has, he will come back. He wants Anna. He knows where we are; but I doubt he would go so far as to tell the Lumaria. No – he will do something else. Probably he even thinks that Anna returned to Drelho, just as she tried to do. He has no spies there. No longer does he have any here! He cannot know that Anna was exposed to Ephram. He will look for her first with him, and vent his fury upon the castle.”

“Neither would I have expected for the steward to know all he does,” said Vaya. “You cannot be sure of Wolach’s ignorance.”

“Well, if he is not – then he will simply come to the Weld and find it empty. After that there is nothing but Drelho which can bring him to Anna. Whether sooner or later, he will go there, which means that we may find
him
in our way, as well. But my!” he exclaimed. “You are a stickler for details, Vaya Eleria! To be sure, the Weld should have been honoured all these years to have you serve with us.”

“You’re very kind,” said Vaya dryly. “Doubtless I would have, if my father was not so handy with pointed objects.”

While this brief exchange was taking place, Griel uttered a defeated groan, and lowered his head in his hands. “We haven’t a prayer,” he said.

“No, no,” said Leventh, with a shake of his head. “There is always that.”

“And you are quite sure,” continued Griel, “that we should not wait?”

“For what reason?
Should we wait, do you think, for Wolach and Koro to come to
us?
To surprise us when we are at home? All our enemies will be gathered in one place! True, we may not succeed – but to have fought such a battle will be the greatest honour! This is my own opinion. Of course, I cannot call our entire army to march. Neither will Xeros force them. They must wish it themselves.”

“Surely I don’t wish it,” said Griel, “but I shall do it just the same.”

“Good man! I suppose, then, that we need only wait. Tonight Xeros will address the fortress – and they will make their own decisions. But till then I have work to do. You will accompany me, Griel?”

“Of course.”

Anna looked from one to the other of them, and frowned. “What work do you mean?” she asked.

“We must learn the exact position of Wolach’s approaching forces,” answered Leventh. “If we can pinpoint
it, we can organise ourselves better round the castle. Of course all his holdings are located to the East – but there is no telling from which direction he will strike.”

“You can travel such a distance so quickly?”

Leventh smiled, and said, “We are very fast.”

“And Wolach is not so fast as you?”

“Faster. But he is not trying for speed. He will gather all he can, from everywhere he can. Not till then will he come. I only want to know his location, you see.”

“And Byron Evigan?”

“Him I am not concerned about. We know already, from our spies inside the castle, that Koro will not shift to Drelho till four days hence. The steward is a fool – but he is not fool enough to think, that Ephram won’t call immediately for Koro if he strikes early. He will wait till the appointed day, and give himself time to gather the courage he has never had. It’s best for us, then, to arrive one day beforehand. Still that will give us time to plan, and to track Wolach’s army. It will also put us out of the steward’s path.”

“Would it not be better to send me
to find Wolach?” Anna asked. “If you let me shift –”

“No,” interrupted Xeros. “I think it no secret, Anna, that you will be our greatest weapon in this fight. Now that you have
learnt to control your shape, you are invaluable. I will not risk you so soon.”

“I
won’t be hurt. I will find him, and be back before midnight.”

“No,” replied Xeros staunchly.

There was a moment of silence. But then Vaya said suddenly: “I will go.”

Xeros looked to her in surprise. Yes, he was surprised; but he seemed also to be thinking.

“No!” said Anna. “You’ll not go, Vaya. Not without me.”

“I would not want to lose you, either,” said Xeros to Vaya, heedless of Anna’s words. “But it would be better, I think, for you to go. I will allow it.”

“No! I won’t let you send her. If you do –”

“Do not speak too rashly, Anna von Wessen,” advised Xeros. “Remember you have made your pledge.”

Nessa had sat quiet all this time, merely listening. But at this she looked sympathetically to Anna, and said: “Sometimes, Anna, we must do things that seem too difficult. It doesn’t seem fair, because it isn’t – but remember who you want to be. I know it’s not who you’ve been. You want to change? Then do this thing. Or, rather – let Vaya do it.”

Vaya looked to Anna, but said nothing to her. Instead she turned to Xeros, and said: “I will leave in ten minutes.”

Xeros nodded, and raised a hand to dismiss her. Vaya’s lips did not move, but her voice came then to Anna; and together they shifted from the room.

~

They found themselves in the midst of small, rolling green hills, some miles from the mountain. They walked hand in hand.

“I don’t want you to go,” said Anna.

“I know you don’t,” answered Vaya.

“Then why would you do it?”

“Because it’s what is right.”

Anna looked away, and pulled her hand from Vaya’s.

“What a beautiful moon,” said Vaya, who stopped to look up at the dark blue sky. Then she turned her eyes to Anna, and said, “Dance with me.”

“You told Xeros you would leave in ten minutes,” Anna replied moodily.

“Then we will dance for five.”

Anna wanted to say no; but against her desire to be obstinate fought the part of her that could not deny Vaya anything. So she pulled her close, till their cheeks pressed together. They turned slowly under the moon. Doubtless they stayed that way for much more than five minutes; but finally Vaya swivelled her head, and kissed Anna’s face. Then she moved herself a little away.

“That’s it?” said Anna. “You won’t even say goodbye to me?”

“What need? I’ll be back before you sleep.”

“And if you’re not?”

Vaya could not feign carelessness, with Anna’s shining eyes opened wide before her. So she erased her smile, and said, “If I’m not, it will be because someone has hung an Aera over your door, and I cannot enter – not because anything has happened to me. When you said yourself you would go, you knew very well you could do the thing, and that you would be fine. I know the same!”

“Then let me come with you! We’ll find him together; and no one will ever know.”

“No.”

“But why?”

“Because you promised, Anna. You promised Xeros.”

Anna stared at her crossly.

“Oh, what a miserable, beautiful face!” said Vaya. “Go and wait for me. I’ll be back soon to kiss you.”

Without another word, she disappeared from sight. Anna stood alone for a long while, silent and motionless beneath the bright silver light. But finally she turned away from the spot where Vaya had stood, almost angrily; and marched off into the hills.