Annihilate Me (Vol. 1) (The Annihilate Me Series) (22 page)

“We’ve
never seen each other.”

“Jennifer,
you know what I mean.
 
Don’t behave
as if you don’t.”

It
was overwhelming.
 
It was obvious he
was telling me the truth about how he felt.
 
I could feel it from where I stood.
 
He closed the distance between us.
 
I looked for a cab.

What
would happen if I let him in again?
 
The thought was paralyzing.
 
I wasn’t in his league.
 
Other than a physical attraction and a mutual interest in business, what
more did we have between us?
 
We
barely even knew each other.
 
If I
went back to that emotional place with him, if I dropped my guard now, he could
ruin me later.
 
I had been fortunate
before to get out of the situation as quickly as I did.
 
I’d only spent one day with him, and look
what that did to me.
 
If I spent
more time with him and he pulled anything like that again, he would destroy
me.
 
I was that taken by him.

Lisa
entered my head.
 
It was from one of
our many midnight conversations.
 
Yes,
he could hurt you, Jennifer.
 
But
that’s true of anyone.
 
At some
point, you’re going to have to take a risk.
 
Otherwise, you’ll be alone forever.

I
felt more conflicted now than I had in my entire life.
 
But some things don’t change, so my
guard nevertheless went up, with barbed wire along the periphery.

“Alex,
I’m happy right now.
 
Your world is
complicated.
 
Here, I can make a
mark for myself.
 
I’m a manager at
one of the city’s great restaurants, which beats being someone’s arm
candy.
 
Right now, I feel as if I’m
making a way for myself that’s good.
 
I can see myself growing here, and someday elsewhere.
 
I can use this job to get a better job.”

“They’re
lucky to have you.
 
Anyone is lucky
to have you.”

“I’m
lucky to have them.
 
There’s no
drama here.
 
No jealousy.
 
I can succeed on my own merits.
 
They’re offering me that, and I’m
grateful for it.
 
I’ve waited almost
five months for it.”

Again,
I looked for a cab, but I didn’t see any, which was ridiculous, especially
because the Algonquin Hotel was to my right and the Iroquois was to my
left.
 
There should be cabs
here.
 
I wanted out.
 
Lisa was waiting up for me, just as she
always did to make sure I got home safe.
 
I needed to leave.

He
held out his hand to me.
 
I looked
down at it.
 
His palm was facing
up.
 

“Alex,”
I said.

“Just
take it, Jennifer.
 
Take it and tell
me you don’t feel something.”

“I
have to go.”

“Just
take my hand.
 
If you feel nothing,
I promise I’ll disappear and I won’t bother you again.
 
But if you feel something, then you’ll
have the answers to your own questions, because I think you’ve also been
thinking about me.”

“How
can I not think about you when you call every hour?”

He
smiled.
 
“I’ve been persistent for a
reason.
 
Just take my hand.
 
If you feel nothing, I’m gone.”

I
looked at his hand for a moment.
 
My
heart slammed against my chest because I remembered what his touch did to
me.
 
I remembered the heat that
passed through us the first time he took my hand that night before we entered
the elevator.
 
And the second time
in the limousine.
 
And all the other
times that night before everything changed.
 
Would the feeling be the same?
 
Maybe I did need to know.
 
Maybe this
would
end it.
 
I reached
out and put my hand in his.
 
I
looked up at his face and saw how tense he was.
 
He looked worried and vulnerable.
 
His hand closed over mine and he pulled
me gently toward him.

“Do
you feel it?” he asked.

My
eyes filled with tears.
 
Of course,
I felt it.
 
But what would that mean
for me now?
 
I’d done so well these
past several days.
 
As hard as it
sometimes was, I’d been focused and determined to walk away from this.
 
Now, here I was again—on the hook
and emotionally naked.
 
He squeezed
my hand harder and drew me closer to him.
 

“You’re
so beautiful,” he said.

“I
don’t know what you see in me.”

“More
than you see in yourself.”

His
lips pressed against mine and they were soft, inviting, better than I had
imagined.
 
I felt his stubble brush
against my chin, and it sent shivers through me.
 
I melted into his kiss because I
couldn’t deny that I wanted it.
 
He
kissed me with a passion and an intensity that surprised me, and I returned
it.
 
For a moment, I couldn’t get
enough of him.
 
It was mutual.
 
He wrapped his arms around my waist
tightly enough that I could feel his excitement against my thigh.
 
His tongue swept into my mouth, and I
tasted it.
 
He cupped my face with
his hands, and kissed my lips, my nose, my forehead, and then the tears that
were streaming down my cheeks.

“Why
are you crying?”

“I
don’t know.”

“And
you’re trembling.”

I
said nothing.

“Tell
me.”

I
turned away from him and wiped my face with the back of my hand.
 
“I don’t want to get hurt.
 
I think you might end up hurting me.”

“Physically?”

“I
don’t know.
 
Maybe.
 
You did before.
 
At the very least, I think you will
emotionally.
 
I’m so not in your
league, Alex.
 
Why don’t you find
someone who is?”

“Because
I want you.”

“You
don’t even know me.”

“By
sending Blackwell away and by ignoring me over the past week and a half, you’ve
said everything you needed to say about who you are.
 
You’re not interested in my money—you
gave me back the jewels and the clothes even though you knew they were
yours.
 
You could have made a
fortune off them, but you didn’t.
 
You found a job and moved on.
 
Most wouldn’t have done that, because most have an agenda when it comes
to me.
 
I have to deal with that
every day.
 
I know where you stand
with me.
 
I’m grateful for it.
 
Please, let me drive you home.”

“I
should get a cab.”

“There
are none.”

“One
will come.”

“Jennifer.
 
It’s just a drive home.”

But
it wasn’t.
 
When I got into the back
of the limousine with him, his lips were on mine again.
 
He pulled me close and kissed me in ways
that no schoolboy had ever kissed me.
 
Once again, I was lost in his embrace.

And
I was scared to death of it.

CHAPTER TWE
NTY-SIX

“Are
you hungry?” he asked.

I
was nestled in his arms—my head against his chest as I listened to his
heartbeat in slow, steady rhythms.
 
He was content.
 
We had been
driving around the city for fifteen minutes, and that was the first time he’d
said anything to me.
 
We weren’t silent—we
were saying plenty to each other just by being with each other.
 
Right then, we didn’t need words to
communicate.
 
It was all laid bare
in the thrum of the city.

“I
could eat something.”

“What
would you like?”

“It
doesn’t really matter.”

“You
know what I’d love to have?”

“What’s
that?”

“A
burger and fries.”

I
looked up at him.
 
“You eat junk
food?”

“I’m
not talking fast food.
 
I’m talking
a real hamburger and fries.
 
The
good stuff.
 
Fresh.”

I
poked him in the gut, but there was no gut to be found.
 
There was only the rippling of corded
muscles, which nearly sent me over the edge.
 
“Given how in shape you are, I’m
assuming it’s been five years or so since you’ve had a burger?”

“Not
true.”

“When,
then?”

“Four
nights ago.
 
And it was rare, thick,
and juicy.
 
I’ve got just the place
if you want to go.”

“What
about your waistline?”

“Since
when are you concerned about my waistline?”

“Since
you obviously are.”

“I’ll
run it off in the morning.
 
You
game?”

“I
could eat a burger,” I said.
 
“But
it’ll probably go straight to my ass.”

He
grinned at me.
 
“Good.
 
I like your ass.
 
Let’s eat.”

 
*
 
*
 
*

He
took me to a restaurant in the East Village.
 
It was nothing more than a hole in the
wall, but when we stepped inside, I immediately liked it and its vibe.
 
It was youthful and hip, busy and
dim.
 
And it smelled wonderful.
 
It reminded me of some of my favorite
diners back home.

“This
is great,” I said.

“Wait
until you have their food.”

“How
often do you come here?”

“Once
a week or so.
 
When I don’t want to
cook or if I want to disappear during dinner, this is where I go.
 
Nobody would know me or recognize me
here.”

Rows
of red vinyl booths lined the right side of the space.
 
A bar filled with people was to our
left.
 
Two booths were free.
 
We chose one, and sat down opposite each
other.
 
Although I was wildly over
dressed for this place, it didn’t matter.
 
There was zero pretension here.
 
It had a neighborhood feel to it.
 
Looking around, it seemed as if everyone knew one another, but not in
ways that made you feel like an outsider.
 
It was the perfect choice—casual and happy, but still allowing for
pockets of intimacy.

He
handed me a menu.
 
“Indulge,” he
said.

“Where’s
the good stuff?”

“On
the back.”

“What
are you having?”

“Third
burger down.
 
It’s topped with blue
cheese, red onion, a big slice of a tomato, and some kind of peppery sauce that
I want to bottle and bring home.
 
I
don’t know what it is, but it’s great.
 
Obviously, I’m having their hand-cut fries.
 
Maybe a beer.”

I
put down the menu.
 
“All of that works
for me.”

“How
do you want yours done?”

“They
just need to walk the cow past the oven and I’m good.”

He
laughed at that.
 
It was good to see
him laugh.
 
A waiter came by with
two glasses of water, and Alex ordered for us.
 
The beers appeared within moments in
tall, chilled glasses, and then we were alone.

He
lifted his beer toward me.
 
“To a
fresh start?”

I
took a breath to still my nerves, but then I touched the rim of my glass
against his.
 
He’d never know the
enormity of the risk I was taking.
 
He’d never understand why it was so difficult for me to trust men.
 
But I had to start.
 
He was sincere earlier.
 
It was clear.
 
It also was time to give him the second
chance he wanted.
 
And which I also
wanted.
 
There was something between
us that was tangible.
 
I couldn’t
ignore it.