Anubis Speaks!: A Guide to the Afterlife by the Egyptian God of the Dead (13 page)

to attend to their needs forever in the afterlife. After all, no self-respecting pharaoh would be caught
dead
doing his own afterworld laundry or making his own eternal breakfast.

But as you can imagine, murdering servants did not go over well with the palace staff. Eventually, magical statuettes came into being. These shabtis were carved in the form of a mummy, which indicated that they served the dead. All you had to do was point to one to make it come alive and do your bidding. Each statue was inscribed with a spell that ensured it would magically obey. The spells usually went like this:
Oh, shabti, if
[insert your name here]
be
summoned to do any work that has to be done
in the realm of the dead—to make arable the
fields, to irrigate the land, or to convey sand
from east to west, you shall say, “Here I am”

and “I shall do it.”

Some tombs contained hundreds of these magical statuettes. Ah, magical statues that came to life to do our dirty work. Now
those
were the days!

It’s time to wave goodbye to all the happy dead as they settle onto the lush plots of land that Ra has given them. Isn’t it nice to be cheered as we sail by?

Of course, the blessed dead are actually crying out to Ra in gratitude for his gifts—and not to us—but still.

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It lifts us up a little bit. We’re going to need a boost as we head into the third hour.

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