Any Given Sunday (6 page)

30

Any Given Sunday

Chad looked at her and knew in an instant she was serious. He also knew she

wouldn’t say a word to Sean if he asked her to keep it a secret.

Before he could reply, she continued, “I plan to spend the rest of my life with him. I don’t ever want lies or secrets in our relationship. Not ever. That’s no way to live a life.”

She was right. Chad knew it. “I’ll tell him.”

She shook her head but he refused to take no for an answer. “I initiated the kiss,

Lauren. I’m going to be the one to tell him. If he gets pissed off and decides to take a swing, I’m gonna be the one standing there to take it.”

“Sean would never hit me
or
you, and you know it.”

Chad nodded, knowing her words were true. “I sort of hope he does.”

She grinned and rolled her eyes. “Is this the guy form of penance? You mess up so

you take a punch?”

He shrugged, her words provoking an old memory. He closed his eyes to block out

the last time he and Sean had taken punches at each other. “Yeah, something like that.”

A car pulled into the driveway and they both stared at each other.

She took a deep breath and he could see a slight tremble in her hands. Great. He’d

really fucked this one up. If Sean dumped her over his fucking mistake, Chad would be the one throwing punches, making sure his best friend didn’t lose the best thing in his life. They’d make their confession and then Chad would come upstairs, pack his shit

and get out of here. Maybe Lily would let him bunk at her place.

The thought brought him more relief than he would have expected. Had he kissed

Lauren as a way of screwing things up so he could escape this house? He looked at her beautiful face…

No. He’d kissed her because he was in love with her. Plain and simple.

The front door opened and Sean’s voice boomed from the floor below. “Where is

everybody?”

Lauren turned toward the hallway. “I’ll go with you.”

He wanted to insist she remain upstairs, but he knew she wouldn’t listen. “Fine.”

He rose from his bed and passed her, Lauren on his heels. Sean was in the living room when they got downstairs.

“Hey,” he said with a big grin. “Ravens fucking kicked ass. Did you catch the

game?”

Chad shook his head. “No. I had some reading to do for my class tomorrow.” It

wasn’t a lie. He
still
had the reading to do as he hadn’t been able to concentrate on the words on the page all afternoon.

“Damn, man. You better make a good paycheck as a psychologist. Can’t imagine

any job worth missing a football game.”

Lauren laughed, but Chad detected the strain in her voice. She was nervous.

No need to prolong the agony.

31

Mari Carr

“I kissed Lauren this afternoon.”

The words flew from his lips more abruptly than he’d intended.

Sean stared at him for a very long, very frozen moment. Then his gaze traveled to

Lauren. “He did?”

From the corner of his eyes, Chad saw Lauren nod.

“It was my fault,” he added. “She tripped and I caught her. It was a stupid,

impulsive thing to do, but I swear to you, man, it’ll never happen again.”

Sean rubbed his cheek and Chad stood his ground. It was impossible to know how

Sean would respond to anything. Typically his reactions were so unconventional, they

left Chad speechless.

This time was no exception.

“You’ve never kissed her before today?” Sean asked.

Chad shook his head, confused.

Sean looked at Lauren then winked. “Is he a better kisser than me?”

She released a loud breath that betrayed how much confessing to Sean had scared

her. Leave it to his friend to break the tension with humor. “Sean,” she said.

Sean shrugged. “Sort of surprised it’s never happened before this. I mean, you guys

have been in each other’s faces pretty much night and day for the past six years.”

Chad put his hands in his pockets, unsure how to reply. Sean was right. He’d lusted

after Lauren for years. Spent at least a thousand nights dreaming of her soft lips…

He needed to get out of here. He wasn’t sure how to explain the difference between

living in this house versus the apartment he’d shared with Sean, but it was as if his entire life was suddenly moving too fast, as if his days were numbered.

Sean and Lauren would get married, move on without him, and he was acting like

an ass trying to cling to something that wasn’t there to begin with.

He sighed. It felt as if a huge part of his life was missing.

“You don’t wanna take a swing at me?” Chad asked. “I think if the shoe was on the

other foot, I’d pound your ass into the ground.”

Sean shook his head. “I’m not mad.”

Chad looked at Lauren, who grinned as they both recalled her saying the exact

same words a few minutes earlier.

Sean sat down on the couch. “I guess I should be, but I’m not. In fact…” He paused

and Chad waited to hear the rest of his sentence.

“In fact what?” Lauren asked.

Sean grinned crookedly. “Naw, it’ll sound too weird.”

“Say it,” Lauren prompted.

“I’m sort of sorry I didn’t get to see it.”

32

Any Given Sunday

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Chad asked, his temper exploding. He’d been

kicking his own ass all afternoon, feeling like the world’s biggest shit, and now Sean was saying he was sorry he didn’t get to see his best friend betraying him.

“Told you it was weird.”

Lauren perched herself on the end of the recliner. “Only
you
would regret

something like that.” She laughed lightly before sobering. “Sean, I love you. I would never, ever cheat on you. I swear it.”

“I know that. And I think if it had been any other guy doing the kissing, you’d be

pulling me off him right now as I tried to beat him to a pulp.” Sean looked at him and Chad fought to catch a breath at the complete and unquestionable understanding in his friend’s gaze. “But Chad’s different. He’s a part of us.”

Sean’s words hit him like a blow to the chest and Chad realized two things. One, he

wanted
to be a part of them. And two—he wasn’t.

“I’ll pack,” he said. “Move out.”

“What?” Sean stood quickly, shaking his head. “The hell you will. Didn’t you hear

what I said? You belong here.” Sean looked at Lauren. “Right?”

Clearly Sean was suddenly worried Lauren would be uncomfortable with the

current living arrangements.

“Right,” she said, so confidently there could be no mistaking her agreement.

They both wanted him to stay. He’d never felt so wanted…and so trapped.

33

Mari Carr

Sean kicked back on the couch, his bare feet resting on the coffee table in front of

him as he watched a repeat of
That ’70s Show
. He popped another Oreo, not finding much comfort in the snack. Cookies had always been his no-fail pick-me-up. Today the

sweet treat was falling short. It was Friday and he was grateful to see the longest week of his life finally end. Usually he worked at the pub, but he’d begged off for the night, promising Killian he’d work an extra day next week if he’d cover his shift.

This had been the only time all week he’d been completely alone and he needed

that time to get his thoughts in order.

He looked around his new living room. Sean wondered if he hadn’t jumped out of

the frying pan and into the fire by initiating this new living arrangement.

He’d wanted Lauren since he’d first laid eyes on her during their freshman year in

college. He couldn’t imagine a day where he wouldn’t want her as fiercely as he wanted her now. Sex with her not only sated his desires but kept him coming back for more.

However, this week he’d begun to sense her pulling away, holding him at arm’s length.

It was obviously because of the kiss with Chad. He’d tried everything he knew to

set her mind at ease, assure her he wasn’t angry, but he’d started to suspect it wasn’t guilt driving her actions. Maybe that kiss hadn’t been impulsive or just a fluke.

No. It was clearly the wrench in the clockwork of Sean’s life—Chad. Having his best

friend move into the house he bought to share with Lauren was seriously fucking with

his head…and his libido. He took a calming breath and for the seven-gazillionth time

pushed that unwelcome thought from his mind. His pop always used to tell him the

heart wants what it wants. What his dear father had forgotten to add was that

sometimes the heart
couldn’t
have what it wanted, no matter what.

He closed his eyes and imagined Chad kissing Lauren. Ever since they’d confessed,

he’d had a terrible time trying to erase the picture from his mind. What kind of kiss was it? Open-mouthed? With tongue? Was it a light, soft, gentle exploration or a passionate, set-the-house-on-fire embrace? He’d allowed every example to play over and over in

his mind, and he stood by what he’d said the night they confessed. He wished he’d

been there to see it.

Chad and Lauren were in class until six. He glanced at the clock on the DVR and

sighed when he heard footsteps on the porch.

Time’s up.

As if on cue, the front door opened and he grinned when he heard Lauren talking to

Chad. She could talk the paint off the walls. He loved her constant chatter.

34

Any Given Sunday

“All I’m saying is, I don’t think Professor Webster wants us to copy a bunch of

information out of a textbook. In fact, he said those exact words.”

Chad shrugged. “If he wanted decent research he should have let us pick topics that

interest us. Who the hell makes you draw them out of a hat? It’s bullshit. He’s getting fuck-all from me.”

Sean lowered his feet to the floor as they walked into the living room.

Lauren rolled her eyes, obviously frustrated. “The randomness fits. We sure as hell

can’t pick and choose our patients when we open our practice. It makes sense that we

might have to research things that make us uncomfortable. That’s sort of the point of the whole project.”

“Rough class?” Sean asked.

Chad walked over to turn on the lamp on the end table. Dusk was kicking in. It was

only late October, but Sean couldn’t wait for spring to hit already. He was sick of

darkness descending so early and ready for the long, lively days of summer.

Lauren shook her head. “Not rough. The class is actually really interesting.”

Chad snorted. “Lauren’s been looking forward to Human Sexuality since our

freshman year. Makes me think she’s a nympho.”

Sean laughed while Lauren punched Chad playfully on the arm. Chad wrapped his

arm around her neck and playfully messed up her hair as she struggled to free herself.

Sean watched them wrestle and felt the usual pang that hit whenever he watched Chad

and Lauren together. The emotion was one he couldn’t put a name to, though he’d

given it some thought. It wasn’t jealousy, it was just…

He didn’t know what it was. Sometimes he thought Chad and Lauren’s shared

ambitions made them more compatible than he and Lauren. Now that he knew Chad

was just as interested in her, things had definitely changed.

Yep, they were all knee-deep in a triangle and he was certain Lauren and Chad

didn’t realize just how twisted.

“Don’t you wish you knew for sure,” she teased.

Sean put his feet back on the coffee table and chuckled, relieved they were finally

acting like normal again. The past week had been awkward. Sean was anxious to have

his friends back. “I can answer that question. Yes. She is. So what are you two fighting about?”

“Professor Webster gave us a big assignment. Huge project that’ll take us the rest of the damn semester to research.” Lauren dropped down on the other end of the couch

and started pulling off her shoes, tossing them aside. “Oh my God, I’m tired. Fridays suck.”

“They’re not so bad. So what’s the assignment? I can’t imagine anything in a human

sexuality class could be that bad. Anything I can help you research?”

He gave Lauren a wicked look and she laughed. “Not unless you feel like donning

leather and wielding a whip.”

35

Mari Carr

Sean struggled to catch his breath at her words, the comment striking too close to

the vein of a secret desire pulsating through him.

Chad chuckled and interrupted his thoughts before they could travel too far down

that horny lane. “Jesus, Lauren. It’s a freaking research paper. Just Google your topic and be done with it.”

Lauren shook her head. “That’s not good enough, Chad, and you know it. This

project is sixty percent of our grade. Professor Webster said you needed to put yourself in the mindset.”

“Mindset?” Sean asked.

Lauren looked at him. “The topics were all different types of sexual preferences,

fetishes, that kind of thing. Our assignment is to delve into our subject.” She turned to Chad. “We have to put ourselves in the shoes of a person who walks around in that skin all the time and analyze the psychology behind it.”

“Great. More analyzing.” Sean’s tone showed his annoyance. “FYI, right now. I’m

not gonna be the guinea pig on this project. You two have poked at my psyche so much

these last few years, it’s a wonder I haven’t broken under the mental stress.”

“Ha ha.” Lauren dug a hair band out of her jeans pocket and pulled her long

auburn hair into a ponytail. “Your psyche is just fine, Sean. One of the reasons why you suck for the experiments. You’re too grounded, too well-adjusted.”

“Come from hardy stock,” Sean teased, imitating his pop. “We Collins men are well