Any Given Sunday (10 page)

“Me too. Riley told me what your assignment was about.”

Lauren tried to decide if she was annoyed with or grateful to her friend. “She did?”

Keira nodded. “You have to explore the submissive lifestyle for a paper in your

Human Sexuality class.”

Lauren toyed with her glass. “And you don’t think it’s odd Riley wanted me to talk

to
you
about that particular subject?”

Keira’s soft laughter immediately set Lauren’s mind at ease. She’d always admired

Sean’s oldest sister. She was one of the few people Lauren had ever met who genuinely fit in her own skin. “Is that your subtle way of asking me if Riley’s right? If I’m

submissive?”

Lauren gave her a guilty grin. “I hate to pry.”

“You aren’t prying. I initiated the conversation, remember? If I didn’t want to talk

about it, I would have told Riley to forget it and we’d be out there playing that

perverted pacifier game.”

“How do you know it’s perverted?” Lauren asked, looking over her shoulder as

another round of cheers and laughter rose in the living room.

Keira feigned a shudder. “Bubbles called it the ‘Banana Suckers’ game. Do I really

need to say more?”

They laughed and Lauren relaxed. She felt her concerns easing. “I don’t get it.”

“Get what?” Keira asked.

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Any Given Sunday

“You’re one of the most self-sufficient, strong women I’ve ever met. I guess I don’t

understand why you would give all that up in the bedroom.”

Keira rested her chin on her hand and sighed. “Have you done any research on this

subject yet?” Lauren nodded, confused by the question until Keira clarified, “And in that research, does it say that the submissive gives up all control?”

Lauren considered her question. In one article, the submissive woman commented

on feeling more powerful than her Dom, but the words seemed in direct contradiction

to the scene the woman was describing. “Not exactly, but—”

“Not at all. Lauren, I’m the oldest of seven kids. My mom died when I was in high

school and I spent nearly a decade trying to be what I thought my family needed. You

see me as strong and self-sufficient and that makes me happy. It’s a wonderful

compliment you’ve paid me, but I didn’t become any of those things until I gave my

heart, my soul and my body over to Will.”

Lauren sighed. “Again with the contradictions. That doesn’t make sense.”

Keira took a sip of her punch and winced slightly. “I think Riley made this second

batch stronger than the first. Maybe it does sound like a contradiction, but consider this.

When I met Will, I was burning the candle at both ends—working full-time in the pub,

attending college, trying to be a mother to my brothers and sisters. I’m afraid Sean

caught the brunt of my smothering since he was the youngest. I was a bundle of pent-

up nerves and anxieties, encased in an exhausted body. In a word, I was a mess.”

“And Will changed that?”

Keira smiled. “Will changed everything. I swear sometimes it feels like I’m this

solid form to everyone else, but to him, I’m transparent. He saw all the jumbled-up

craziness inside me and he introduced me to his lifestyle.”

Lauren blushed as she imagined Keira’s handsome husband in leather, wielding a

whip.

Keira must’ve understood her look perfectly, because she laughed. “There’s more to

the lifestyle than silly accoutrements.”

Lauren shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m not usually so naïve and juvenile. I think

I’m a bit tired tonight. I’ve had too much of this damn punch. Feels like my brain is slogging through mud.”

Keira leaned back and studied her face. Lauren knew the pose well. It was one

she’d employed numerous times in her psychology classes. Unfortunately, she was

used to being the studier, not the studied. “You’re overwrought.”

Lauren frowned. “No, I’m not. I’m fine.”

“You remind me a lot of myself, Lauren.”

Lauren shook her head. “Thank you, Keira, but no. While you’ve fought to

overcome some difficult things—losing your mom to cancer, taking care of your pop

and your family—my life’s been a piece of cake. I mean, my folks are happily married

and helping me achieve my college degree, my brother and I have a pretty cool

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relationship, though I don’t see him as much as I’d like. I’m only working part-time, which certainly isn’t wearing me out. I’m just nice, normal, boring Lauren.”

“And nice, normal, boring Lauren is in love with two men.”

Lauren’s face flushed hotly. “Riley told you?” Her tone betrayed her anger and

hurt.

Keira shook her head. “No. She didn’t.”

“Then who?”

“Actually, it was Will who pointed it out once. My hubby is too observant.”

Lauren closed her eyes. “Great. Like that’s not completely embarrassing.”

Keira reached across the table to take Lauren’s hand. “Oh no. I didn’t say that to

embarrass you. Will just observed that there were some unexplored feelings between

the three of you. Honestly, until he said it, I’d had no idea. Then I started looking more closely.”

“Yeah, well. I’m not sure how unexplored they are.” She wasn’t sure why she was

confessing so much to Keira, but something about the woman told Lauren her trust

wouldn’t be misplaced.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning Sean’s sort of offered to help me research this particular topic.”

Keira grinned. “The ménage or the submission?”

“Both.”

Her answer caused Keira to giggle. “I bet he did. I’ve always suspected there was a

bit of a closeted Dom in my baby brother. I have a feeling your assignment is a bit like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Chances are good you aren’t the only person who’s going to learn something from this assignment.”

“It’s not Sean who needs to be convinced.”

Keira frowned. “Chad’s not interested?”

Lauren shrugged. “I have no idea where Chad’s interests lie.” The words weren’t

exactly the truth. The kiss they’d shared told her Chad wanted her, and his face as they had discussed submission definitely betrayed his desire to play the Dom.

“Ah,” Keira said, as Lauren watched understanding dawn in the other woman’s

face. “So your problem is actually twofold.”

“Meaning?” Lauren asked.

“You want to explore submission, but you also want to engage in a ménage with

Chad and Sean.”

Lauren put her head on her arms on top of the table. “This is impossible. I’m not the kind of girl who can do one of those things, let alone both.”

“Why not?”

Lauren raised her head slightly. “I told you why. Remember me? Boring, normal

Lauren? You’re the brave one.”

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Any Given Sunday

“Comparing yourself to me isn’t fair. Saying that your life has been all sunshine and roses, so you can’t follow my path, is just wrong. You know that.”

“Yeah. I know that. You wouldn’t know I’m the psych major in this conversation,

would you? You missed your calling, Keira. And I’m obviously in the wrong field.”

“It’s easy to recognize and categorize other people’s problems because there are no

emotions attached to them.”

Lauren sat up and nodded. “I think it’s safe to say I have every emotion under the

sun rolling around in me right now—love, lust, confusion, loneliness, depression,

happiness…” She paused then added, “Vodka,” with a laugh.

“I was dealing with all of those same feelings when I started dating Will and I was

exhausted. He taught me to let go of the reins, showed me it was okay to shrug off the heavy load every now and again and let someone else carry it. I make a hundred

decisions during the day at work. I worry constantly about my family. Pop’s health,

Natalie’s pregnancy, Teagan and Sky on the road all the time, Sean. When I go home at night, Will’s there, waiting for me. He’s shown me how to clear my mind, how to trust and love and feel. Believe me, after a night in his arms, I wake up every morning

refreshed and ready to take on the world again.”

Lauren nodded, Keira’s words making sense after her experience with Sean the

previous night. For a little while, she’d put herself completely into his hands and it had felt more wonderful that she could have imagined.

Riley came into the kitchen before Lauren could reply. “Hey, are you two finished?

We’re about to start making a list of all the names Natalie can scream at Ewan while

she’s in labor. We’re thinking she needs something stronger than ‘asswipe’ and ‘fucking bastard’.”

Keira laughed. “That sounds like fun. God knows I flung a few colorful expletives

at Will when I was having Caitlyn and PJ.” She looked at Lauren. “You can call me any time, you know. If you have more questions.”

“I might take you up on that.” They both rose. “Thanks, Keira. For everything.”

“Things will work out the way they’re supposed to, Lauren. You just have to hang

in there until they do.”

Lauren nodded and started to follow Keira to the living room, but Riley stopped

her. “That’s bullshit.”

“What’s bullshit?” Lauren asked.

“Keira’s ‘hang in there’ comment. You can’t just sit around and wait for life to

happen to you, Lauren.”

“I don’t think that’s what I’m doing.”

Riley rolled her eyes. “That’s
all
you’re doing. So here’s the plan.” She tugged Lauren back to the table and they sat down. “When you go home tonight, you tell those clueless fuckers you live with—”

“You know, one of those clueless fuckers is your brother,” Lauren interrupted.

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Mari Carr

“So who would know better than me that he’s clueless and blind and an idiot?”

Lauren laughed. “Man, you take sisterly love to a whole new level, don’t you?”

Riley narrowed her eyes. “Are you finished stalling? Do you want to hear my

plan?”

What Lauren wanted to do was kick her own ass for even thinking of taking Riley’s

advice. What she said was, “Lay it on me.”

* * * * *

Sean walked into the office where Chad was working and plopped onto the chair

where Lauren usually sat.

“Something wrong?” Chad asked without looking away from his computer screen.

Sean had been uncharacteristically quiet since returning home from the pub over an

hour ago. Chad had worried all day about Sean’s response to Lauren calling out his

name during their lovemaking. He’d sort of expected Sean to beat the shit out of him

and kick him out of the house the second he returned from work. Now, given Sean’s

silence, he didn’t know what to expect.

“Lauren’s in love with you.”

Chad looked up, his lips instantly numb with shock. “What?”

Sean shrugged casually, but the nonchalant act wasn’t fooling Chad. “I went

upstairs after you left. Told her I was serious about helping her explore

submissiveness.”

“And?” Chad forced himself to breathe slowly and easily.

“And one thing led to another and she told me she’s in love with both of us.”

Chad closed his eyes and tried to make his brain function. Lauren had confessed to

being in love with him? She
loved
him? Obviously Sean and Lauren had had quite the heart-to-heart last night. Part of him was glad he’d missed it, but that thought

immediately left him feeling like a coward. He sucked at sharing his feelings, opting to let Sean and Lauren be the emotional weather vanes in the house. It was easier for him to assume a poker face, keep things buried.

“You must be mistaken.”

Sean shook his head. “Nope. No mistake.”

Sean’s words took a few moments to penetrate. Even when they did, all he could

say was, “I’m sorry.”

Sean’s gaze was piercing when it caught his. “Why?”

Chad frowned. “Because she’s your girlfriend. Because the two of you bought this

house with plans to get married and have a life together. What happens now?”

“I would think that’s obvious.”

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Any Given Sunday

Chad leaned forward in his chair and raked a hand through his hair. Sometimes

talking to Sean was like holding a conversation with an alien from Mars. There was a

definite language barrier. “There’s an obvious answer to this?”

“Yep.”

Chad rested his elbows on his knees and prayed for the patience to make it through

this frustrating, shocking conversation. “And it is?”

Sean tilted his head to the side and grinned. “She gets both of us.”

“Both of us. No. No, Sean. There’s no way that would work.”

“Of course it would. Hell, we’re all living together. We’re friends. We’re attracted to her and she’s attracted to us. I’d say this is a no-brainer. Sort of kicking myself for not suggesting it sooner.”

Sean’s words hit Chad in the chest like a bullet. “Are you insane?”

While Sean might not see the potential problem in what he was suggesting, Chad

could see it clearer than a flashing neon sign.

Sean crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair. The posture

immediately told Chad his friend was settling in for the long haul in hopes of

convincing him to see his way of thinking. It was a pose Chad was very familiar with.

Let’s streak at the football tailgate.

Let’s sneak into the cheerleaders’ locker room.

Let’s ditch work to hit the strip club
.

No matter what Sean suggested, when he assumed “the pose”, Chad knew he was

done for. Not this time.

“I’m not insane. I happen to think this is the first decision I’ve made in a long time that makes sense. Dammit, Chad. You and I both know this can work. We’ve seen a

threesome up-close and personal for years in our own families. Lily, Justin and K are living proof that it can work.”