Anything You Want (7 page)

“Marc!”

But he didn’t even look down at her as he strode toward the door.

He didn’t get even as far as the cash register before the woman in the red T-shirt stepped in front of him. She signed “Are you
all right?” to Sabrina.

Sabrina grinned. She was surprised about Marc’s reaction, aware of the entire diner watching them and a little turned on, but yes, she was alright. Great in fact. Marc wasn’t doing it on purpose and she was reading way too much into it, but it felt great to be held, to be taken care of, to be less than in charge.

She would never admit it to him, or anyone, but over the past few days when she’d been totally on her own—miles from any of the homes or friends she knew—all alone, completely independent, like she’d always wanted to be, it had been scary and stressful and
not
fancy free.

That was why she always wanted to have a roommate, whether they could pay or not. She knew what it was like to have nowhere to go and how much it meant to have someone reach out a hand. She also didn’t like to be alone. At all. She hated that about herself but it was true. She liked having someone there, caring what time she came home at night, someone to pick up shampoo if she forgot, someone who would leave leftovers in the fridge from time to time, someone who would take a phone message for her.

She hadn’t known it about herself until she’d moved to Seattle and broken up with her first band, but being alone pretty much sucked and she’d worked hard to not be that way again after that.

Now, having Marc buy her hydrocortisone cream, force her to eat and carry her to the car all felt pathetically nice.

“I’m good,” she signed back. “It’s been four years since we saw each other.”

The woman’s eyes widened. “Don’t forget to lock the door.” With a smile, she headed back to her table.

“You had a deaf roommate?” Marc asked as he shoved the diner door open with his foot and headed for the car.

“A roommate who grew up with a deaf brother.”

“Holy shit, Seattle. You might have learned something useful after all.”

When they reached the car, Marc put her on her feet and started to unlock the door. It was such a relief to get off of her tender behind. She rubbed her hands over her posterior. Some hydrocortisone cream would be
so
nice right now.

“What is with you?”

Sabrina jumped and looked over her shoulder to find Marc watching her massage her backside.

“Nothing, why?”

“You were squirming during the entire drive down here and all through dinner. You act like you can’t sit still. Now you’re standing in public rubbing your ass. What’s going on?”

She hoped she wasn’t blushing. “First of all, there’s no one else here so technically it’s not public. And I told you that I needed that cream and what it was for.”

His eyes dropped to her rear end. “Oh.”

She scowled at him and turned around so that he couldn’t see her tender side.

“You’re really that sore?”

“Yes. I’m really that sore.” She wished he’d quit talking about it.

“How are you going to sit in the car for four hours if you’re that miserable after four blocks?”

“Are you enjoying this?”

“No. I’m serious. It’s a long drive.”

“I need to put some cream on.”

He frowned and almost looked concerned. “Would a pillow help?”

Great, now he was going to be nice. “I think the pillow would rub too.”

“Are you going to be able to sit at all?”

“I guess I’m going to have to.”

He looked toward the car. “You could lie on the back seat on your stomach.”

“I couldn’t…” She glanced at the car. On second thought… “Yeah. I guess.”

It would make talking, and therefore disagreeing and arguing, that much more difficult.

Five minutes later they were on the interstate, headed for Nebraska, Marc in the front seat, Sabrina lying prone on the backseat. She lay with her head on the passenger side so she could see the side of his face.

The silence was nice. They weren’t talking, but they weren’t arguing and he wasn’t making any comments that made her think about kissing him—or worse. Truly, silence between her and Marc seemed the best way to go.

He apparently didn’t agree.

“So,” Marc said, settling into his seat more comfortably, “Why are you coming back to Justice?”

She jerked her head up. “What?”

“Why are you coming back? It isn’t a major holiday. Not that you’ve ever come home for those anyway. And why doesn’t anyone know about it?”

“Kat knows.”

That seemed to surprise him. “She hasn’t said anything.”

“I asked her not to.”

“Why not tell anyone else?”

“It doesn’t involve anyone else.”

“It involves Kat?”

“Kind of.”

He didn’t say anything to that and she started to relax. It didn’t last.

“Do you really think that this doesn’t involve Luke?”

“This isn’t about Luke.”

“Do you think he’ll see it that way? Or that he’ll stay uninvolved once you’re back?”

“Luke had his chance.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Luke had his chance to be with me. In fact, if he
had
been with me a lot of things would be different now.”

“I suppose the same could be said if you had stayed with him in Justice.”

Yeah, well damn. There was that.

Not that it hadn’t occurred to her before this. If she’d stayed in Justice with Luke there was no doubt that she wouldn’t be in the situation she was right now. Luke had always been her safety net. With him she didn’t worry much about consequences, because there really weren’t any for her. He took care of things.

Unfortunately, some habits were hard to break even after she left and no longer had Luke to back her up. She’d made a series of bad choices in the past four years—the culmination of which took the form of a spontaneous vacation and unprotected sex with a stranger.

Inarguably, her track record showed that she should simply do the opposite of whatever she was inclined to do.

When a Jamaican vacation sounded like a great idea, she should have said no.

When another drink with rum in it sounded harmless, she should have said no.

When a hot one-night stand with a guy she’d known for an hour sounded tempting, she should have said no.

When going home to Justice—even though Luke was still there and would be sticking his nose into her business immediately—sounded like the last thing she wanted to do, she should definitely do it.

“I don’t see any way of avoiding Luke once I’m back in Justice,” she finally said.

“Exactly,” Marc muttered.

She waited for him to go on, but several minutes passed with nothing more and she let herself relax again.

Marc tipped the rearview mirror down to look into the backseat five minutes later.

She was asleep.

Part of him was relieved. He didn’t have any answers but hearing her admit that she knew Luke would be sucked back in when she returned to Justice made him crazy. Luke deserved better. He deserved a chance at happiness and if Sabrina was living within one hundred miles of him he’d never let himself get close to another woman.

Marc yawned widely. He was glad to not be arguing with her or listening to her admit she knew the effect she had on Luke—and not sound apologetic about it—but at least those two things were keeping him awake.

An hour later, she was still sound asleep and his yawns were coming closer together. He signaled and pulled into a brightly lit, twenty-four-hour gas station. A cup of coffee was exactly what he needed.

“Are we there?” Her sleepy voice drifted to him as he pulled up next to one of the gas pumps.

“No. Just a pit stop.”

She pushed herself into a sitting position and brushed her hair back from her face. Under the tall lamps of the parking lot he could see her soft, sleepy expression and his heart tripped in spite of himself. She looked so sweet and innocent and that little stretch that pulled her shirt up exposing a strip of skin on her stomach made his blood pump harder.

“I could use something to drink,” she said, sliding gingerly across the seat.

“Don’t forget to write it down,” he muttered, not meaning it.

Sabrina stood next to him taking deep breaths of the fresh night air and gazing at the half moon that glowed softly in the ink black sky as he filled the tank. It was a beautiful night. It was one of those perfect summer nights that Marc loved. The breeze was enough to ruffle his hair, the temperature was warm enough that he didn’t need a jacket, but cool enough to be refreshing and the sky was an absolute masterpiece.

“Coffee?”

Sabrina moved her gaze from the view overhead to his face. For a moment, it looked as if she’d forgotten where she was. “Um, I was thinking juice.”

“Juice it is.”

She followed him into the store and headed for the refrigerated section with the bottles of soda and water, while he pulled the largest Styrofoam cup from the dispenser and filled it with hot, caffeinated coffee.

Marc paid for the drinks and the box of animal crackers that Sabrina set next to her bottle of apple juice. On the way back to the car he asked, “Do you think you could handle sitting in front for awhile?”

She glanced at the car. “I guess.”

“I wouldn’t ask except that I’m getting sleepy and I could use some conversation.”

“Do you want me to drive for a while? Then you could sleep in back.”

It was a good suggestion and made a lot of sense if they were driving through to Justice. But he had other plans.

“Nah. Let’s just talk.”

She shrugged. “Sure. I think if I sit more on the left I’ll be okay. Maybe if I put some more cream on it would help too.”

Marc glanced around the parking lot. “You want to go back inside to put it on?”

She followed his gaze. “No, I’ll do it here.” She reached into the backseat and retrieved the tube of cream from her purse. She squeezed a blob out onto her index finger and then raised an eyebrow at him. “You want to watch?”

“Sort of.”

She rolled her eyes. “Red, chapped skin does it for you, huh?”

He grinned and turned his back to her as she applied the cream. If it was her skin he wasn’t sure red and chapped would be that much of a turn-off. He tried hard not to imagine the area she was spreading the cream over. It didn’t work.

“Ready to go.”

Everything seemed back in place as he turned back to face her. Still, his imagination was vivid. He tried imagining her skin red and broken out, but his mind refused to see anything but smooth, silky skin, curving into— He almost slammed his fingers in the door.

Marc pulled out onto the highway as Sabrina popped the top on her apple juice. She took a long drink, then began opening the box of animal crackers, making a lot of noise as she did. Three crackers disappeared, with loud crunching, followed by half the bottle of juice before she wiped her mouth.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Baseball?”

She wrinkled her nose.

“Politics?”

She shook her head and put a cracker in her mouth.

“Why you’re coming back to Justice?”

She stopped mid-crunch. “Why do you keep insisting there’s a special reason?”

“Because I know you. I’ve known you for a long time. I know how you feel about your dad and I know that you believe that you can’t do what you want to do in Justice. You also believe that what
you
want is the most important thing.”

She stared at him, with her mouth partly open. “I can’t believe that’s what you think of me.”

“You sound like I’m giving you an opinion.”

“Aren’t you?”

“No. I’m telling you the facts. There must be something
you
need in Justice or you wouldn’t be coming back. Which means it can’t be something Kat asked you to come back for and it can’t be something with your dad. Or anyone else.”

“You can be a real jerk, you know that?” she asked.

“For telling the truth?”

“For being mean.”

“Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me you’re coming back for someone else’s sake.”

“Can’t I be coming back to visit?”

“Because
you
felt the need to come home for a visit? Because
you
missed someone or something?”

She tossed her empty juice bottle on the floor of the car and set the box of crackers on the seat between them. “Okay, you’re right. I’m coming home because
I
need something. But I had no idea you thought so little of me.”

“I haven’t thought of you in a long time.”

“Thanks,” she muttered. She turned slightly and leaned back against the car door. She crossed her arms. “Don’t you want to know what I need?”

He took a long drink of his coffee before answering. “Justice is a small town. I’ll find out eventually,” he said, trying to distance himself from the sudden nearly overwhelming urge to shout
What? What do you need?
Wow, she was something. He’d never understood Luke’s pathetic pull toward her. But now, after only a few hours in her company, he was feeling it. Fuck.

In his peripheral vision he could see her gritting her teeth and her fingers digging into the skin of her arms where they crossed. “I am coming back because I need something, but I can tell you truthfully that it’s not totally selfish.”

“How’s that?”

“I am coming home to Justice for someone else’s sake too. There is someone else who will benefit from me being home.”

He glanced at her. “Who?”

She looked at him for a long moment, worrying her bottom lip. “No one you know,” she finally said.

“No one…” he repeated. “Who is it?”

“You’ll find out.” She turned and looked out the side window, clearly trying to end the conversation.

“Who is it, Sabrina?”

If she was bringing a man back to Justice…that would kill Luke.

Marc’s imagination, overactive as it was, kicked into high gear.

“You’ll find out who it is,” she repeated.

“
When
?” So much for casual and unaffected.

“Soon.”

He took a deep breath. Fine. He didn’t need to know. It didn’t matter to him if she was bringing some guy home. It didn’t matter to him…