Apeshit (9 page)

Kevin zips up his fly. “Wait until you have to shit.”

“Fuck that,” Desdemona says. “I’ll wait and shit

when we get back home.”

“Good luck,” Kevin says.

Des opens a beer and takes a sip. It’s warm and harsh

inside her mouth.

“Where’s Crystal?” she asks.

“She said she was going to put Jason to bed,” Rick

says.

“Is she coming back?”

“No,” Rick says. “Jason said they were going to

have hot stinky sex.”

“Stinky?” Kevin asks. “What is he going to take a

dump on her or something?”

“A Cleveland Steamer?” Des says.

“A Hot Carl?” Kevin says.

“A Dirty Sanchez?” Rick says.

“Yeah, right,” Desdemona says. “You know how eas-

ily grossed out Crystal gets. She wouldn’t do anything like

that in a million years. She probably has the most normal

sex life of anyone you’ve ever met. And Jason, you know he

only does missionary position. He probably doesn’t even let

her be on top.”

“What a couple of pussies,” Kevin says.

“Speaking of sex,” Rick says, standing up off of the

couch. “Are you two ready?”

“Hells yeah!” Kevin says.

“You’re finally going to do it?” Desdemona asks

Rick. “After all these months?”

“Yeah,” he replies. “My doctor says it’s okay to have

sex now.”

“I couldn’t imagine having a urinary infection that

lasted that long,” Kevin says. “At least you didn’t pass it on

to us.”

“That’s why I kept my shorts on during sex,” Rick

says.

“It’s about time you got it working again,” Desde-

mona says. “You totally suck at trying to give me an orgasm

with your tongue.”

“Yeah, your tongue’s pretty short, dude,” Kevin says.

“Des can get her tongue in my ass three times farther than

you can.”

Rick flicks the side of the Theremin as he walks

across the room.

“Let’s go,” Rick says in an annoyed tone.

He really hates being criticized and teased, even

when it’s by his closest friends who are just joking around

and don’t mean him any harm. He’s kicked people’s asses

for much less.

Crystal and Jason are in the master bedroom. They

take the sheets off of the bed and then make it with bed-

ding that they brought with them. Crystal refuses to sleep

on beds unless they have her bedding. She even brings her

own sheets and blankets to Jason’s house and remakes his

bed whenever she spends the night.

“You ready to do it?” Jason asks Crystal, wobbling

drunkenly over the bed in just his socks and whitey-tighty

underwear.

“Not tonight,” Crystal says, lying in bed with the

covers up to her shoulders.

“Why not?” Jason slobbers.

“Because you’re drunk,” she says. “And you’re a

fucking asshole.”

“What? What’s wrong with you?”

“Just go to sleep,” she says.

He crawls into bed with her.

“Come on,” Jason whispers into her ear.

She doesn’t reply.

“You know you want to,” he says, trying to be seductive.

Crystal isn’t interested. His bratwurst and onion

breath against her face turns her off completely.

“I brought a surprise with me,” he says. “Something

that’s going to blow you away.”

Her eyes light up. She turns around.

“You mean . . .” she begins.

He nods.

“Serious?” she says.

He goes to his backpack and pulls out a stack of pho-

tographs. He looks down on them and licks his lips. Then

he looks at Crystal and nods his head. Crystal raises her

eyebrows at him and sits up.

“Fucking awesome,” Crystal says.

Jason brings the photos to her and drops them in her

lap. She spreads them out across the bed quickly. Her eyes

go wild at all of the imagery.

“Ooooh,
yeah
,” Crystal says, rolling her tongue in

the air as she looks through them.

They take off their clothes and sit on opposite sides

of the bed, examining the photographs. The pictures are of

naked Asian women who are in the middle of getting abor-

tions. When Crystal sees one of the half-aborted fetuses, she

slides a clean glass baby arm-shaped dildo between her legs

and bites her lower lip.

Crystal has a fetish for erotic abortions. It is a highly

illegal and quickly growing phenomenon in the underground

pornography world. The majority of it comes from some

poverty-stricken region of Asia. Crystal heard about the fe-

tish online. At first she thought it was gross and kind of

funny, but then it started to turn her on.

Jason and Crystal don’t really have sex very much.

Sometimes, but not very often. Crystal doesn’t like to have

sex. She doesn’t like fingers touching her vagina, not even

her own fingers. Fingers disturb her for some reason. They

gross her out. She doesn’t like penises, either, because they

remind her of giant swollen fingers. So her sex life with Ja-

son mostly consists of masturbating together while looking

at erotic images.

When she masturbates, Crystal always uses a dildo.

She never uses her fingers. Her favorite dildos are made of

glass or metal. She likes the cold hardness of glass and met-

al. Jason always asks her why her favorite dildo is shaped

like a baby arm, and she always gives the same answer.

“There’s fingers on it,” Jason always says. “I thought

you were disturbed by fingers?”

“I am,” Crystal always says. “But they kind of turn

me on, too.”

Jason doesn’t really understand Crystal. He doesn’t

understand why she is so easily disturbed by food and fin-

gers, yet finds pictures of abortions sexually gratifying. He

assumes she has some major issues.

A lot of the abortion porn involves sex. Sometimes

there will be a guy forcing the woman to suck his dick while

she is getting an abortion. Other times the aborted fetus parts

will be used in some kind of depraved sexual acts by the

people watching the abortion. The parts are usually sucked

on or inserted vaginally. There have been rumors about a

video where a woman inserts every piece of a freshly abort-

ed fetus into her asshole and then shits it out onto another

woman’s breasts. Both Crystal and Jason hate this kind of

thing. They think that the pornographers cross the line when

they incorporate sex into the abortion. Crystal thinks it’s not

only in bad taste, but it also ruins the fantasy.

Crystal has never had an abortion, but she imagines it

to be a sensual and erotic experience. The thought of having

a living being grow inside of her and then having it removed

drives her wild. While masturbating, she likes to imagine that

she is the one receiving the abortions in the photos. And she

likes to imagine that Jason is the fetus that is being aborted.

She likes to think that she has magic powers and

could transform her boyfriend into a pool of cum while he

masturbates. Then she fantasizes about how she would col-

lect him into a turkey baster and then squirt him inside of her.

He would become a part of her, develop into a fetus inside of

her body. He would be consciously aware of this the entire

time. Then, after weeks of growing in his girlfriend’s womb,

she would have him cut slowly out of her one piece at a time,

or perhaps she’d have him vacuumed out of her quickly. She

imagines that this act would be like having the biggest or-

gasm of her life. She imagines climaxing, squeezing her

thighs around the surgical equipment, as some faceless doc-

tor brutally murders her tiny boyfriend inside of her and then

scoops him out in pieces. After his parts are thrown away,

Crystal imagines she would move onto another boyfriend

and start the process all over again.

She knows it’s a cruel fantasy to have. She doesn’t

think of herself as a cruel person. There’s just something

deep inside of her that attracts her to these fantasies. She’s

worried that these feelings will make her a bad mother in the

future. She’s worried about what they mean.

Jason pretends like he is into this kind of pornogra-

phy, but he’s not really. He doesn’t find it compelling nor

disturbing. He doesn’t really care. What turns him on is

watching Crystal masturbate so excitedly. She is, without a

doubt, the sexiest girl in school. Even though he doesn’t get

to have real sex with her very much, just masturbating while

watching her touch herself is good enough for him.

Crystal’s moans can be heard throughout the entire

cabin as she masturbates. Desdemona and Kevin are in their

room, listening to the moans through the air vent and gig-

gling to each other.

“They sure sound like they’re having fun,” Kevin says.

“Yeah,” Desdemona says, “with their boring mis-

sionary sex.”

Rick is making a bed on the floor with their sleeping

bags. He is nervous with anticipation. Adrenalin and alcohol

are pumping through his system. He feels like his head is float-

ing. He has been waiting for this night for a long time now.

Desdemona pulls off her top to reveal her tattooed

breasts. The collage of pink, purple, and baby blue butter-

flies flutter across her chest and circle her nipples. Kevin

pulls off her shorts and panties, as she pulls off his shirt and

caresses his smooth head.

Rick hesitates taking off his clothing. His hand is

shaking. He doesn’t know how to break the news to them.