Appassionato (4 page)

Emma sat up, disoriented. She felt a flash of confusion then a cool stillness washed over her. She closed her eyes and saw Duncan looking at her worriedly. When she looked down, Jake’s arms were spread out on a table and both forearms had the same tattoos that had suddenly etched themselves on her skin. Duncan gripped Jake’s arms, the feel of his skin warm and reassuring. Emma didn’t know how it was possible, but she knew without a doubt that she was seeing through Jake’s eyes, right now. Suddenly, Jake breathed deep and flexed his hands, making the tattoos ripple, and Emma was back in her own head, confused and exhausted. Except, she wasn’t alone anymore. She could feel them both at the back of her consciousness, as though the pain and tattoos were the catalyst that finally connected the three of them together. She frowned, sensing the men’s worry for her. It was weird. She was obviously losing her mind. Emma wondered what to do next. Should she go home? She didn’t want to miss class and throw the rest of the afternoon into chaos by going home sick, so she shook her head, deciding to stay. The headache was better now, anyway.

Emma stood up and left the bathroom, happy to see that the office had cleared out.
Everyone probably went to lunch
, she thought as she retrieved the salad she’d left in the office refrigerator a few days ago. Some of the leaves were a bit limp, but it was mostly okay to eat. She wasn’t up to dealing with the school cafeteria or even the faculty lounge today. She settled into her chair and swiveled around to flick on the small television she kept on the shelf behind her desk, idly flipping to the local news. After a few bites of her lunch, she abruptly sat up. On the television, the anchor was detailing the surge of people posting on the internet about the sudden development of unexplained headaches and marks appearing on their arms. Emma frowned. She wasn’t the only one experiencing this?

“Twitter is still trending the rash of unexplained headaches and tattoos that people all over the world seem to be experiencing. According to reports, the incidence of this phenomenon seems to be holding steady, with maybe one person in five hundred thousand over the past week developing headaches, strange hallucinations or dreams, and the sudden appearance of tattoos on one arm. Physicians have been unable to explain what is causing these symptoms, but anecdotal reports show that, generally, couples are experiencing the symptoms together. This suggests that the transmission may be sexual in nature, although the rarity of the phenomenon has most experts stumped. No one seems to be experiencing any severe problems aside from persistent headaches. In fact, most patients report heightened feelings of empathy towards their partner, especially once the headaches subside. Some couples have begun calling the phenomenon an emotional ‘bond’ although most reputable medical doctors feel that something physiological must certainly be causing the symptoms. As yet, no one understands how the marks on the skin occur, though they seem to be caused by a sudden surge of excess melatonin, possibly as a result of hormonal fluctuations. What has most experts stumped is that each couple’s tattoos are identical.”

After broadcasting a few interviews with people who’d been affected by the mysterious “bond,” the show cut to commercial. Emma turned off the television and chewed mechanically. She wasn’t the only one experiencing this weirdness, but why did she have two tattoos instead of one? And she wasn’t involved with anyone. She hadn’t dated seriously since college, yet all the other victims were part of a couple. Absently, she fished the limp croutons from her lunch and tossed them in the trash. She knew her tattoos had something to do with Duncan and Jake. She could feel her bond to them. To both of them. That was probably why she had two tattoos. Emma sighed. She was bonded to two people at the same time? How was this going to work? She set her salad aside and dropped her face in her hands, not even flinching when the door to the office opened and Julie walked in.

“Hey, you feeling any better?” Julie asked, setting her purse on the desk next to Emma’s.

Emma looked up and then grabbed her lunch again, spearing a few more limp pieces of lettuce as she nodded. “I’m okay, I think.” She took a few more bites, forcing herself to swallow the lettuce, then gave up, dropping her fork with a huff. “Okay, okay, I’m a little freaked out, actually.”

“Freaked out? Why? What’s wrong?” Julie sat in an empty chair near Emma. “You just have a bad headache, right?”

Emma sighed then rolled her sleeves up. “Look.”

Julie frowned and leaned over. “Hey, those look like those tattoos that people are getting. I saw it on the news last night.”

Emma nodded.

“Except, wait, why do you have two?” Julie asked, confused. “And I heard that only couples are getting them, and you’re not dating anyone.”

“I don’t know why I have two.” Emma let her arms drop to her lap, uneasy about explaining her suspicions to Julie. “Between the headaches and then this, I don’t really know what’s going on at all.”

“I wonder if more people are getting the tattoos than are coming forward and talking about them,” Julie speculated. She eyed Emma’s arms, looking at her friend curiously. “Are you dreaming about anyone?”

“You know who I dreamed about, Julie. But that’s crazy. I’ve never even listened to his music.”

“What about Jake?” Julie asked.

“What about him?” Emma deliberately avoided the question.

“Did you dream about him, too?” Julie pressed. Emma shrugged and looked away from Julie’s eager face. “Oh my God, you did!” Julie said, voice rising. “Seriously?”

Emma sighed. “Yeah. And I could swear that I hallucinated about them today, while I was awake.”

“While you were awake? What do you mean?” Julie looked increasingly excited.

“I was in the bathroom and my head hurt, so I closed my eyes and tried to relax. Suddenly, I saw Duncan looking at me, but when I looked down, I wasn’t myself. I was Jake. I could tell by the hands.” Emma shook her head then looked at her friend. Julie’s eyes were wide. “And when I opened my eyes again, the scene faded, but I can still feel something. It’s like they’re in the back of my head.” Emma sighed. “I can’t really explain it.” She looked at Julie. Her friend was perched on the edge of her seat. “It’s probably nothing, I’m sure I’m imagining—” Emma tried to say, but Julie burst out before she could continue.

“Holy crap! I think you’re bonded with them!”

“What? No!” A wave of anxiety swept over her. She knew Julie was right, but she didn’t really want her friend pressing her about it.

“You’re seeing both of them, right?” Julie asked, and Emma nodded. “And from what I’ve heard on the news, when people get those tattoos, they feel each other, can tell what they’re feeling or whatever.”

“That’s crazy,” Emma said, sheer stubbornness making her deny what she already knew was happening.

Julie reached out and grabbed her hands. “Look, so far we’ve heard about couples bonding. But what if you don’t have to be a couple? What if this thing bonds people who are compatible together, whether or not they already know each other?”

“You can’t tell anyone!” Emma’s heart raced. She clutched Julie’s fingers tight. “I don’t understand what’s going on, and I don’t want anyone else to know.”

Julie squeezed back. “Of course I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to. We’re friends, right? Hey, you helped me when I broke up with Matt, and that was definitely going above and beyond the rules of friendship considering what a blubbering mess I was. I won’t tell. Promise.”

Emma nodded, relieved. “Thanks.” She smiled softly. Julie smiled back. “It’s just—” She broke off, trying to figure out a way to explain how unsettled she was without sounding like she was insane.

Julie nodded. “I know. This all feels weird, like a dream, right?”

“How did you know?”

Julie laughed. “I can’t even imagine what it would be like to dream about Duncan and Jake then wake up and have those marks appear on your arm. I’d be ecstatic! But also a little freaked out. I mean, I like to choose who I’m going to fall in love with, you know? Does this mean that you don’t have a choice now?”

Emma frowned. “That’s exactly what I’m worried about. And, well, I still think I’m going crazy.”

“You’re not going crazy,” Julie retorted, shaking her a bit. Emma sighed, not telling her friend that she could still feel Jake and Duncan in the back of her head. Both men were there, and if she concentrated, she could tell what they were thinking. That freaked her out more than anything, because it was totally impossible.

“Hey, wait,” Julie said as Emma tossed her limp salad in the trash. “If you’re actually connected to Jake and Duncan, does that mean they’re connected to you too?”

“That’s how it works, I think,” Emma replied, her stomach growling.

“Whoa. Can they hear us talking?”

Emma stood up and looked down at Julie, her brow wrinkling as she concentrated. She felt both men stop their conversation and look inward. “Yeah,” she whispered, feeling Duncan and Jake’s attention inside like a physical caress. She shivered as the men smiled.

“Um, wow.” Julie’s eyes widened.

Emma grinned. “Jake thinks you’re cute,” she said, not knowing how she knew that but sure of her certainty nonetheless.

* * * *

Jake lounged on the beat-up sofa backstage, closing his eyes and relaxing. He’d turned off all the lights except those that ringed the dressing table mirror, basking in the dim light though he knew he really didn’t have the time for it. If he concentrated, he could feel Emma puttering around her kitchen. He mused over how quickly he’d grown used to her in his head. What was not so easy to get used to was Duncan’s constant presence. They’d been friends for a long time, spent every day together, but even so, they’d never lived in each other’s brains before. There was no disguising the attraction Duncan felt for Jake, nor his iron self-control. Jake knew intimately how much their friendship meant to the other man, and finding out just how badly Duncan desired him was a shock. On the other hand, Jake’s growing attraction to his friend was even more disturbing. It was one thing to know that your friend was bisexual and quite another to realize that some strange biological event was changing your own sexuality to match. That was the real reason why he was sitting in Duncan’s dressing room. He kept trying to wrap his brain around it all. A lifetime of being straight and now he was hot for his best friend. He sighed then rolled his eyes, disgusted with himself.
Get over it, dude. So you have the hots for Duncan. It’s not a big deal.

“Hey, everything okay?” Duncan called out, sauntering over to the couch where Jake slumped.

Jake blinked his eyes open, startled.
Shit
. He looked down at the clipboard in his hands, hoping that the venue’s PAs weren’t incompetent. Because he clearly was. “Yeah,” he started to say then cleared his throat. “Yeah, I’m okay. I think I’m just tired.”

Duncan frowned and sat down next to Jake, his right thigh pressing close. “Hey, I know things have been really weird lately.” Jake snorted. Duncan smirked, then they both laughed.

“Yeah, you could say that again. The unrequited lust was quite the shocker, man.” Jake reasoned that he’d never been one to keep his mouth shut, why start now? The elephant in the room was driving them both insane.

Duncan stared at Jake for a moment, clearly surprised. Then he relaxed and chuckled, a hint of relief in the sound. “You wish, loser. And anyway, I’m not so sure it’s all that ‘unrequited’ anymore, eh?”

Jake felt the smile fall from his face, and he looked away.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Duncan began then shut up when Jake slashed his hand through the air, feeling like an ass. He didn’t know why he was having such a hard time with this.

“Jake—” Duncan tried again, sounding genuinely regretful. Jake felt his insides twist at the pain on his friend’s face. He wanted to kick himself. He loved Duncan. He knew that. He didn’t ever want Duncan to feel sorry for Jake’s lack of ability to deal with reality.

“Duncan, it’s not your fault. And you’re right. It’s just, it takes some getting used to. This bond thing is fucking with me, you know?” Jake looked up to see Duncan nodding. Then he grimaced as they both felt Emma suddenly wake up in the back of their heads and start paying attention to their conversation. “I went through my whole life not really thinking about my sexuality. I liked girls and boobs, and I hung out with you, my best friend. Everything made sense and then wham!” Jake clenched his hand into a fist and smacked it onto his thigh. Duncan looked away, hunching his shoulders, and Jake tried to explain better. Anything to wipe that look of disappointment from his friend’s face. “Everything changes. I mean, I love you. I always did, but to know that you felt this way all along—” Jake broke off.

“Jake, it’s not like I’m going to do anything,” Duncan began then stopped as Jake shook his head.