Apple's Angst (18 page)

Apple raced into the shower and shampooed and conditioned her hair in less than five minutes. Just as she was getting out of the shower, she heard her phone ringing.

“Can you get that, Hazel?” Apple called out, trying to brush her hair. She should have done it in the shower. It was always easier that way.

Apple walked out in a towel and listened to her aunt talk animatedly on the phone. Apple mouthed the words “Who is it?”

“Here she is,” Hazel said, handing the phone over. “It's Happy.”

“Happy! What are you doing?” she asked. “I'm totally running behind. Crazy Aunt Hazel is about to blow up.”

“I'm at home. I need an ‘emotional day' off. Interested in joining me?” Happy asked.

“Yes! Oh, my God! Can we please go shopping? I have no
Angst
-worthy clothes,” Apple responded, delighted.

Hazel looked at her. She shot her aunt a dirty look. Since when had her aunt become so responsible? Just months ago, her aunt was taking “emotional days” off from her job the minute a guy dumped her, which seemed to be almost every other day.

“Let's meet at Milk and Sugar and then we'll do some retail therapy,” Happy suggested. “I need some retail therapy. Don't forget your credit card.”

“Perfect! See you soon!” Apple said excitedly, hanging up.

Aunt Hazel looked at her disapprovingly. “So you're skipping school today?”

“I need an emotional day,” Apple said. “Don't look at me like that! Just because you're getting married doesn't make you suddenly the most responsible person in the world. It's just one day! And Happy needs me.”

“Fine, whatever. But I'm not going to lie to Jim about you missing math because you want to hang out with friends and go shopping,” Aunt Hazel responded sternly.

“Dear God,” moaned Apple. “Who are you? I want my crazy aunt back. Just don't tell Mom, okay?”

“If you don't tell her I'm borrowing her new shawl, you have a deal,” her aunt said slyly. “Oh, and if you don't mind, I'll look through that pile of your clothes on the floor over there. You might be younger than me, but I know I still have the body of a teenager.”

Her aunt had done a little jig in front of Apple's full-length mirror, as if to prove how youthful she was.

“Fine. Take what you want. But you can't say a word to either Mr. Kelly or my mother, okay? That's the deal,” Apple warned.

“Deal. But I don't think Jim is going to be impressed with you skipping the pop quiz today,” her aunt told her.

“What? First of all, I told you, do not call him Jim. And, second, how do you know there's going to be a pop quiz today?” Apple asked.

“Uh, hello? I'm sleeping with him. I know all,” Aunt Hazel responded, giving her an evil grin.

“I thought you weren't sleeping with him until the wedding,” Apple answered—not that she really wanted to know the intimate details of her aunt and her math teacher's sex life.

“We don't actually … well, you know. I'm still holding out. Aren't you impressed? But we cuddle and have sweet talk,” her aunt said.

“Yeah, talking about a pop quiz sounds so romantic,” Apple laughed.

“Whatever,” her aunt had said, Apple's clothes falling out of her arms. “Where would you like me to drop you off?”

Happy was already at Milk and Sugar, the coffee shop next to a strip of boutiques at the outdoor mall near their homes, when Apple's aunt dropped her off. She had been flipping through an obviously outdated issue
of
Angst
. The pages looked like they were going to fall apart.

“Hey, babe,” Apple said, leaning over and giving Happy a peck on the cheek.

“Hey. Thanks for meeting. I've texted Brooklyn to join us. She's trying to get out of class right now. Did you know that Mr. Kelly surprised the class with a pop quiz? It was already on Brooklyn's desk. But I'm not worried. Brooklyn will come up with something good to get out. You look tired,” Happy said.

“I was up until 4 a.m. working on my first, and maybe last, advice column.”

“Oooooh! Let me see! Let me see!” Happy demanded, grabbing Apple's bag.

“No!” Apple said, grabbing back her purse. “It's not good. It's so bad. I'm so going to be fired. They're going to realize they made a huge mistake, and my career at
Angst
magazine will be over before it really even began.”

“Get over it, Apple! You're always so hard on yourself. Just hand it over,” Happy demanded.

“Fine,” Apple said as she handed over the sheet of paper she had worked so hard on. She cradled her face in her arms as Happy read the questions and Apple's advice aloud.

Happy paused after reading that paragraph and put her finger in her mouth as if she was going to make herself gag.

“I know, right?” Apple said. “It's just the magazine trying to make them look better. They made that up. Whatever.” She put her head back into her arms. Her hair, which was still wet from her hurried shower, felt cool on her flushed-with-embarrassment cheeks.

Happy continued to read.

“Oh, my God. You didn't write this for me, did you Apple?” Happy asked, squinting at Apple.

“First of all, I don't pick the questions. Michael, my boss, who is awesome, gave me five and told me to answer three of them. And who even knows what he'll do with my answers. He'll probably answer them himself if he doesn't like mine.”

“It's so weird that it's
exactly
what I'm going through with Zen. It's not that I even really needed an ‘emotional day' off. I just can't bear to see Zen,” Happy said.

“What are you going to do?” Apple wondered.

“Let me read your answer,” Happy said.

Happy placed the piece of paper on the table and didn't say anything at first.

“What? Do you not agree? What's wrong with it?” Apple asked desperately.

“Nothing,” Happy said. “What you wrote is exactly true. I'm not sure I can pinpoint what suddenly bugs me about Zen. He's still the same Zen I fell in love with. I still love him. I'm just not …”

“In love with him,” Apple finished for her.

“Exactly. But there's no way I can discuss it with him,” Happy said.

“Why not?” Apple asked.

“I just can't! Look at me! I'm skipping school just to avoid running into him. I'm turning off my cell phone at night just in case he calls. I'm not good at dealing with these things!” Happy said.

“Happy, you're the bravest person I know!” Apple protested.

“Not when it comes to relationships. I'd rather he dump me than me have to dump him. I usually leave guys, but Zen is too, well, he's just too sweet,” Happy moaned.

“Well, if you keep ignoring him, I have a feeling you're going to push him away,” Apple said. She hadn't told Happy that Zen had stopped by, most likely to talk about the way Happy was acting.

“Good!” Happy said, smiling brightly for the first time since Apple had arrived.

“Really? Can you imagine life without Zen? Take a second and imagine what your life would be without him calling or taking you out. Does that thought make you feel better?” Apple pressed.

“Actually, Apple, it gives me a great sense of relief,” Happy answered. “Then I can really be out with Therapy Guy.”

“Poor Zen,” Apple sighed.

“Poor Zen? Poor me! You're supposed to be on my side.”

“I am on your side. It's just that, you know, it's Zen. He's so nice and sweet, like you said.”

“And that's why this is so hard. He's too nice and sweet for me. I need a little drama. Zen is much more suited for you,” Happy said. “He always was. Even now, he's always saying how in awe he is of your sensible nature.”

“You are such a typical woman,” Apple laughed. “At least that's what my mother would tell you. You need a bad boy. And sensible? God, that's not a compliment at all! You're making me sound like an old lady!”

“Sorry. But speaking of old, I'm not! I'm young! I should be having fun. Zen was fun. But now he's not fun. At least not for me. Like I said, you two are so much better suited for each other,” Happy said, smiling slyly at Apple.

“Happy, you are not trying to fix me up with your boyfriend, are you?”

Happy lifted her eyebrows, smiling.

“You mean, my soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend? Well, you liked him. You loved him! Don't you have any feelings left for him?” Happy asked.

Apple was starting to feel very uncomfortable.

“I don't think that's how it works. You can't force people to be together. And, hello? There's Lyon, in case you forgot,” Apple answered.

“Right. Lyon,” Happy said, sipping her ice tea.

Just then, Happy's iPhone started to vibrate on the table. She looked at the text message and showed it to Apple. It was Zen, asking where Happy was. Happy placed the phone back on the table.

“You're not going to respond?” Apple asked.

“Nah. Don't feel like it,” Happy said casually.

“You're so bad, Happy,” Apple said, but she couldn't help but smile. She wished she could be as brave as Happy and just not do things she didn't feel like doing.

As if on cue, Apple's BlackBerry, also on the table, started to vibrate. She looked at it and read the text.

“Who is it?” Happy asked.

“You're not going to believe this,” Apple told her. “It's Lyon. He just asked where I am and if I'm okay.”

Apple placed her phone back down on the table.

“Aren't
you
going to respond?” Happy pressed, staring at Apple intensely with her green eyes.

“Nah. Don't feel like it,” Apple said, imitating Happy.

Happy laughed. “See, I'm not the only one.”

“No, you're right. You're not.”

B
rooklyn raced in, looking like she had just finished a marathon.

“You have no idea how I had to get out of Mr. Kelly's class,” she moaned. She called out to the waitress, “Can I have a large wheatgrass with some protein powder?”

“This is a coffee store, sweetie,” the waitress responded sarcastically. “We serve coffee and tea.”

“Okay, then I'll have a non-fat decaf soy latte with extra foam,” Brooklyn ordered. “Mr. Kelly gave out a pop quiz today! What is up with that? I took one look at it and all I saw were numbers. Nothing made sense to me. I might as well have been trying to read another language.”