April Loves Black Coffee: First Impressions (38 page)

B
RYAN IS SICK AND THROWING
up. Choi Sangwoo’s gang bought Bryan ten shots of alcohol after his rendition of Percy Sledge’s
When a Man Loves a Woman
. It was all fun and games when Bryan was drinking with them, but when he started dry heaving they all dispersed. It became my duty to help him vomit outside of Limelight half an hour later. It is almost three in the morning. I am exhausted.

“Ready to go?” Bryan hunches over the sidewalk, sliding in and out of consciousness. He shakes his head at me, motioning for another second of equilibrium. “Why did you drink so much?” I scold him. Poor kid. Seasonal gangsters take alcohol seriously.

“You shouldn’t have taken all those drinks from them,” I nag him.

“The drinks were free. Damn, gangsters will screw you up.”

“Oh Bryan.”

“How do you know gangsters anyway? Damn May, I always knew you were
legit.”

“Hahahaha.”

I enjoy talking to Bryan when he is drunk off his butt. I pat his back in a rhythmic pattern.

“Good
night, Boss.”

I look up to see Choi Sangwoo stepping out of Limelight. He is pulling on his jacket, but stops halfway when he sees my arms around Bryan. Sangwoo eyes narrow and I instinctively withdraw my arms from Bryan.

Sangwoo’s expression is hard to read. “Are you ready? I’ll take you both home.”

“You got shotgun May. I don’t want to sit next to him,” Bryan slurs in his drunken state.

Sangwoo and I exchange glances. “You have to excuse him, he’s really drunk.”

Sangwoo gives me a tight-lipped smile. “Don’t worry. The feeling is mutual.” Leaving me to conclude what I will from that statement, Sangwoo comes up to Bryan.

“What are you doing?” Bryan whips around, but Sangwoo’s sharp reflex catches him.

“Taking you home.” To his credit, Sangwoo is a good sport for dealing with Bryan. I am sure any other guy would have left Bryan’s drunken butt on the streets. Despite the fact that Choi Sangwoo is full of surprises, there is one thing I am sure about him–he doesn’t act without rationale. Maybe that is what it takes to be in the gang leader’s chair.

A sleek, marble gray car pulls up to the curb. The valet, undoubtedly part of Sangwoo’s gang, steps out and hands him the key. The valet is careful not to make eye contact and bows his head. The valet takes Bryan from Sangwoo’s arms and puts him in the back seat. Sangwoo opens the door to the passenger seat for me expectantly. I slide in easily.

I have my seat belt on by the time Sangwoo slips into the driver’s seat. All is quiet inside the car. The emblem on the steering wheel lets me know I am in a Bentley. This is car number five or six since I have known him. The quiet engine gives nothing away as Sangwoo pulls from the curb. He does not ask me where Bryan lives. His limitless, stalker knowledge never fails to amaze me.

“How is your mom doing?” Sangwoo surprises me with his question.

“She’s doing fine,” I answer.

“Why are you asking about my mother-in-law?” Bryan snaps from the back seat.

I turn back and throw Bryan a dirty look. He blows me a kiss.
I’m starting to really like this kid
, my intuition laughs.

I catch Sangwoo glancing in the rearview mirror at Bryan. Sangwoo continues driving without a word; he turns on the radio. Music flows through the speakers and fills the car. Soon, Bryan slouches over in the back seat. I keep glancing at Sangwoo, curious of what he’s thinking. Again, Sangwoo keeps his eyes on the road with one hand on the steering wheel. The cool, calm, and collected way he appears in front of me is what drew me to Choi Sangwoo in the first place. I realize it is not his striking features, but it is Sangwoo’s presence and
aura.
Mayhem’s is on a different level too,
my intuition croons.

Soon enough, the Bentley comes to a slow stop in front of the familiar terrain that marks Spyder’s house.

“Stay here,” Sangwoo commands to me. He gets out of the car and opens the back seat.

I watch as Sangwoo drags an unconscious Bryan out of the back seat with superhuman strength. He wraps Bryan neatly around him and stalks up to the house. Sangwoo goes through the gate and is at the front door in no time. When the door opens, Spyder sticks his head out. His jaw drops at the sight of Sangwoo. He bows deeply and listens with impeccable concentration as Sangwoo briefly explains the situation.

“Come in. Come in please.” Spyder steps back for Sangwoo to bring Bryan in. Then, Spyder stares at the car with no sign of recognition on his face. He doesn’t see me. The windows are too dark. With one last lingering glance, Spyder closes the door behind him.

The minutes tick by. I sit in the warm car. I want to kill Spyder because if it wasn’t for him, I would never be in the situation that I am now. The irony of being outside of his house strikes me as mocking. I try not to think about what Spyder has done to Lina. What can I do now? I cannot kill Spyder because that would be illegal.
You can get Sangwoo to kill Spyder
. My intuition is dark and brooding.

Sangwoo finally emerges from the house. He opens the driver’s door and languidly slides in.

“What did Spyder say?” I cannot contain my curiosity.

“Nothing important.” Sangwoo keeps his face closed. He starts the car again. “Do you have time to talk?”

Oh no.
He wants to talk more about the initiation contract. Sangwoo really is persistent. “It’s late,” is all I can manage.

“Just thirty minutes of your time.” Even his way of pleading is classy.

I give in like the fool I am. “Ok. Thirty minutes.”

A smile rides on his lips. “You won’t regret it.” Sangwoo turns the car down the steep hill and guns down the road.

T
HE W SEOUL HOTEL IS
bathed in decadence despite the fact that it is four in the morning. Early birds and late birds are sitting in the restaurant and bar area. Sangwoo and I are in a private booth towards the very back of the venue away from the public eye. Sangwoo orders me a cup of coffee and Spanish tea for himself. Both orders come with the hotel’s specialized pudding.

“Would you like to try some?” I look into the specks of light lingering in his eyes. Sangwoo offers me a cup of pudding with a small smile on his face. He’s at ease with lasting alcohol in his system.

“Pudding,” I repeat in my zombie state. It seems so trivial to eat pudding with him. I am exhausted and wired from the alcohol coursing through my system.

“Yes.” Sangwoo doesn’t open his container though. He takes a sip out of his tea, combating the alcohol he consumed earlier.

“I’ve never known a guy who has a sweet tooth,” I say. I drink my coffee, but I don’t open the pudding either.

“I don’t. That’s why I’m not eating mine. You?”

“Me neither.”

I am stuck with the ominous thoughts I reserve for him. I thought that after the little escapade with Bryan, Sangwoo would call it a night. Yet, here we are, back at his current haunt drinking tea and coffee. What a combination.
Does this man ever sleep?

“So, are the feelings mutual between you and Bryan? You like him as much as he loves you?” It takes me a moment to realize Sangwoo is teasing me.

“Are you kidding me?” I blurt out in disbelief. “No way. He thinks he has a crush on me, but it’s nothing more than a game.”

“He is clearly in love with you.” Sangwoo settles against his seat. His eyes are studying me beyond reproach.

“He thinks he is.” I make a face. “He doesn’t know what love is.”

“Do you?” Sangwoo stops me in my tracks.

At a loss for words  I stare out of the window just in time to catch a plane flying against the breathtaking backdrop of the night’s sky. I don’t answer him.

“What’s bothering you?” Sangwoo finally asks. “May.”

“I am still stuck on what happened to Danny today,” I admit, intertwining my thumbs on my lap.

Sangwoo’s eyes frost. “Why did you help him?” Sangwoo gives me the impression this is one of his burning questions.

“How could I not?” I blurt out. “He was hurt and in pain.”

“But he was willing to kill you last time,” Sangwoo justifies.

“I’m not that type of person.” I lower my eyes away from our intense eye contact. “That’s why I keep telling you I can’t do what you want me to. Maybe you’re used to such violence, but this is foreign to me. Gang or no gang, I couldn’t stand by and watch him get killed.” I hope my sincerity is getting across.

Sangwoo goes silent; he’s trying to read my mind. “He could have hurt you again if Ren hadn’t intervened,” is Sangwoo’s cold response.

“Why do you want to justify this?” I question with confusion.

“This is how it is in our world–constant reminding and reinforcement. Like I told you before, Yoon Jaewon and I will be forever intertwined in this underground world until one day the final straw will break. Danny shot me in the arm, so he pays a hefty price for it. Jaewon will come to me, but we both know it is a fair trade for him damaging my flesh.” Sangwoo’s stone words warrant
a warning. His face closes with an unforgiving expression. “Besides, he owes me beyond reprieve for what he has done.”

Once again, I am seduced into Choi Sangwoo’s world. “What did he do to you?”

I don’t expect Sangwoo to answer me, but he does. Sangwoo’s jaw clenches together. “Yoon Jaewon did something to me that I will never forgive.”

“What is it?” What could Mayhem have possibly done to Sangwoo? This is it. I am finally getting an answer to their complicated relationship.

“Our rivalry isn’t as simple as it’s perceived. To my last breath, I will avenge his death. I am just taking my time, waiting for the right timing to serve Jaewon the pain he has inflicted on me.” The look in Sangwoo’s eyes is frosty. He is all over the place and cryptic.

“Sangwoo, what happened?” I ask slowly. The anticipation is taking me through different levels.

“H-he shot my little brother. He was shooting at me, but he accidently pulled the trigger on my brother.” Sangwoo’s voice is heavy with emotion.

A jolt shocks my body. I stare at Sangwoo with the oddest sensation ever. Words may not hurt, but they do make a significant impact. I feel as though something cold goes through me as I absorb Sangwoo’s confession.

“It is one of the most emotionally painful experiences in my entire life. I think I cried more than I’ll ever cry. That little kid meant everything to me. I wanted to kill Jaewon afterwards, but I wasn’t in the right mind state. And even now, I haven’t had my revenge.” Sangwoo looks away, becoming cold and distant in a matter of seconds. “Jaewon and I work for the same Boss, but we are still rivals. If the ties in this industry didn’t bind us, I would have killed him. He is the only person I cannot directly hurt, but if one of his men comes after what I care about I will return the favor.”

“I’m so sorry Sangwoo.” My condolences are fair and meek.

My words have no time to soak in before Sangwoo continues on, “I care about you May. I don’t want this life for you either, trust me. But because of circumstances, because of what Lina and Spyder did to you, I am your only lifeboat. Even if I let you walk away, this dark world of mine is not finished with you yet.”

I am speechless. What does Sangwoo mean that this dark world of his is not finished with me? The bottom of my stomach drops and I feel terrible. I mentally kick myself for taking Sangwoo here emotionally and mentally. If I had just shut up, he wouldn’t have to repeat such a horrific past and solidify his reason for the initiation contract. I feel sick to my stomach.

The wistful look in Sangwoo’s eyes attacks my cluttered thoughts. “Have you ever lost someone?” He returns the question to me.

It is an inevitable question in a conversation like this one, but my darkest nightmares resurface. “No.” The selfish part of me speaks up first.

Sangwoo’s brown eyes fixate on me. “I’ve lost two people that I’ve loved. My brother and the love of my life, my first girlfriend.”

Dead Girl
. “I’m so sorry.” I am dumbfounded at Sangwoo’s revelation. I keep my facial expression taut.

Sangwoo stares out of the window to watch a car zoom by as his brown eyes fade and his eyebrows burrow together in thought. Without thinking, without realizing the emotions I bring along with it, I gently extend my palm and settle it on Sangwoo’s right cheek. His soft skin melts into the palm of my hands. If Sangwoo is surprised, he doesn’t show it. His eyes glaze over as they trail from my arm to the hand that is now on his cheek.

I don’t know why I am doing this, why I am so forward, why I am making such a move. Is it his story about his brother or is it my own pain? I am a slave to my emotions–to the look of sorrow in Sangwoo’s eyes. 

“May,” my name escapes his lips. It is tantalizing and encompassing. Without another word, another moment of hesitation, Sangwoo leans forward
and kisses me. His proximity is intoxicating and my train of thoughts halts.

Oh shit. He’s kissing me. Choi Sangwoo is kissing me.
I am a puddle of feelings.
No! Get away from him!
My intuition is kicking her shoes off in a fit.