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Authors: Joan Aiken

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BOOK: Arabel and Mortimer
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"He wants to help,
really
," said Arabel. "The trouble is, he doesn't know how. Tell you what, Mortimer. Why don't you hunt for diamonds behind the backseat?"

Mortimer gave Arabel a very sour look. Actually, until a few days ago he had been quite keen on searching for diamonds; it had been his favorite hobby and he did it all over the place, but specially under carpets, in garbage bins, coal scuttles, and paper-and-string drawers; but he had found so few diamonds—indeed, none—that he had lately lost interest in this pastime. Instead, he had become interested in keys. He liked the way they fitted into locks and the different things that happened when the keys were turned—like engines starting and doors opening.

He had developed an interest in letter boxes, too.

So he was not pleased at being asked to hunt for diamonds.

However, when Arabel pointed out to him the deep crack between the cushion and the back of the rear seat, he began to poke along it in a grudging manner, as if he were doing her a big favor.

In fact, the crack
was
very narrow and inviting, just the right place to find a diamond, and his beak was just the right length to go into it nicely.

The surprising thing was that almost at once Mortimer did find a diamond, quite a big one, the size of a stewed prune. It was set in a platinum ring.

"Kaaaark!" said Mortimer, very amazed.

The remark came out slightly muffled, as if Mortimer had a cold, because the platinum ring was jammed over his beak.

"Oh!" said Arabel. "Chris! Just
look
what Mortimer's found!"

She slid the ring off Mortimer's beak just in time, for otherwise he would almost certainly have scraped it off with his claw and then swallowed it.

"Coo," said Chris. "What a size! That stone is probably worth half Rumbury Town. D'you think we ought to fetch your dad?"

"Pa simply hates to come home before the match is finished," said Arabel.

Just at that moment they heard the phone inside the house begin to ring. Arabel went in through the open front door to answer it, slipping the ring on her finger.

Mortimer sidled after her, keeping a sharp eye on the ring. But as he passed the front door he poked a worm, which he had picked up for the purpose, through the letter slot into the basket behind.

The Joneses' telephone stood on the windowsill halfway up the stairs.

"Hullo?" said Arabel, picking up the receiver and sitting on the middle step.

"Hullo?" said a lady's voice. "Oh my goodness can I speak to Mr. Jones the taxi driver who drove me to Rumbury Docks this morning? This is Lady Dunnage speaking. Mr. Jones took me to launch my hubby's new cruise liner the
Queen of Bethnal Green
—"

All these words came out very fast and breathless, joined together like the ribbon of paper from a cash register.

"I'm afraid Mr. Jones is out just now watching football," said Arabel. "This is his daughter speaking."

"Oh my goodness then dear when will your father be back? The thing is, I've lost my diamond ring which is worth two hundred and seventy thousand, four hundred and twenty-two pounds—I just looked down at my finger and it wasn't there the ring I mean the finger is there of course—and my hubby will be upset when he finds out—specially if it fell into Rumbury Dock—I just wondered if it could have come off in the taxi when I took my gloves off to unwrap a lemon throat lozenge—"

"Oh, yes, that's quite all right, we found it," said Arabel. "The ring, I mean."

"You
have
? You really have? Oh, what a relief! Oh, goodness, I feel quite trembly. I'll come round at once and fetch it as soon as I can get back—I'm in Bishop's Stortford now, opening a multistory amusement park—"

"Kaaaark," said Mortimer, who was now sitting on Arabel's shoulder listening to this conversation.

"I beg your pardon, dear?"

"Oh, that was our raven, Mortimer. It was Mortimer who found your ring, actually," said Arabel.

"Really? Fancy," said Lady Dunnage. "I've got a parrot called Isabella and she's ever so clever at finding things. Well, I can tell you, there will be a handsome reward for
everyone
concerned in finding my ring, and please, please don't let it out of your sight till I get there."

"That was Lady Dunnage, the person who owns the ring," said Arabel, returning to Chris. He had taken advantage of Mortimer's absence to replace the mats and clean up the upholstery. "She's going to call in and pick up the ring as soon as she can get back from Bishop's Stortford, so we shan't need to fetch Pa from the football match."

"How do you know it was her and not a gang of international jewel thieves?" said Chris.

"I didn't think of that," said Arabel. "Do you think we ought to tell the police about it?"

She looked at the huge diamond on her finger, which Mortimer was eyeing, too. However, at this moment Mrs. Jones came up the street with a basket full of shopping and a carton of banana-nut-raisin ice cream under her arm, and her hair all smooth and curly and tinted Bohemian brown, which is the color of the gritty kind of instant coffee, but a lot shinier.

As soon as she caught sight of the large flashing stone on Arabel's finger, Mrs. Jones began to scold.

"How often have I told you not to go to Woolworth's without me, Arabel Jones, you naughty girl, there's mumps about and I told you to stay right here at home till I got back and not leave Mortimer liable to get up to mischief I declare as soon as I leave the house trouble sets in and spending your pocket money on that trashy Woolworth's jewelry instead of a nice sensible toy or even a book—"

"It's all right, Ma," said Arabel. "I didn't get the ring at Woolworth's. Mortimer found it in Pa's taxi and the lady it belongs to, Lady Dunnage, is coming round to fetch it as soon as she can—"

"Lady
Dunnage
?" screeched Mrs. Jones. "And me with the best cushion covers at the laundry, no tea ready, a week's shopping to put away, soapy water all over the front steps, and the hose and the Baby Vampire and goodness knows what else out on the pavement—"

However, they all helped put these things away, as well as the bucket, the sponge, the soap, the brush and dustpan, the various rags and bits of towel and tins of cleaner and polish and Windazz and Seatsope and Chromoshino that Chris had been using.

Even Mortimer carried in the cake of Seatsope, but as he was later found to have dropped it into the kettle, his help was not greatly valued; he sat on the kitchen taps looking melancholy, with one foot on the cold, one foot on the hot, and his tail dangling into the sink, while Mrs. Jones emptied out the kettleful of hot froth and put on some more water to boil in a saucepan.

By the time Lady Dunnage arrived they had tea set out on the table with three kinds of cake, sausages and chips and eggs, sardine salad, a plateful of meringues, a plateful of Kreemy Kokonut Surprises, and masses of biscuits.

Even Mortimer cheered up; although he still felt unappreciated, he loved sausages and chips and meringues. If allowed, he speared the sausages with his beak, threw the chips into the air before swallowing them, and jumped on the meringues till they collapsed. He had not come across Kreemy Kokonut Surprises before, but they looked to him just the right size to stuff down the sink waste pipe.

When Lady Dunnage finally arrived, she did not seem in the least like a member of a gang of international jewel thieves. She was quite short, all dressed in furs, and her hair was just as shiny and curly as Mrs. Jones's, but the color of a lemon sponge. As soon as she was inside the door she cried out:

"Oh, I can see you are all just as good and kind as you can be and just like dear Mr. Jones who is my favorite taxi driver and I always ask for him when I ring up the cab stand and I'm so grateful I hardly know what to say words fail me they really do for I should never have heard the last of it from my husband Sir Horatio Dunnage if that ring had been lost it was my engagement ring that he bought for me twenty years ago last January and which would you rather have two thousand pounds or a cruise to Spain on the
Queen of Bethnal Green
?"

"I beg your pardon, dear?" said Mrs. Jones, quite puzzled, pouring the guest a cup of tea.

"The
Queen of Bethnal Green,
that's my husband's new cruise liner. He's Sir Horatio Dunnage, you know, who owns the Star Line and the Garter Line and now this new Brace and Tackle line, so say the word and you can all come for a ten-day cruise in a first-class suite sailing on Saturday the nineteenth. Now which would you really rather have, that or the two thousand pounds?"

2

Ooo—I've
always
wanted to go on a cruise!" Mrs. Jones could hardly believe her luck. But then she remembered something and said, "Really, it was Mortimer who found the ring, though, wasn't it, Arabel dearie? I don't know if he'd like a cruise, what do you think?"

"I expect he would," said Arabel. "He generally likes new things. Would you like a cruise, do you think, Mortimer?"

Mortimer thought he would. He couldn't reply, for his beak was full of Kreemy Kokonut Surprise, but his eyes sparkled and he began to jump up and down on the back of Arabel's chair.

"Of course he'd like it, bless him!" said Lady Dunnage. "My parrot, Isabella, just loves being on board ships. That's settled, then! I'll get my hubby's secretary to send you a note about embarkation time. I'll be on the cruise myself, as it's the first one, and so will Isabella, and I'm sure she and Mortimer will make great friends."

"I don't know if Mortimer's ever met a parrot," said Arabel a little doubtfully. "But I expect it will be all right."

Arabel herself was greatly excited at the thought of a cruise. But Chris, when Lady Dunnage invited him, said he always got seasick in boats, and he would really prefer a little cash to put toward a motorbike for which he was saving up. Lady Dunnage promised that he should have not the money but the bike itself the very next day. Then she left them, gazing so happily at her recovered ring that she never even noticed the worm in the letter box on the back of the front door.

When Mr. Jones came home after the football match and heard from his enthusiastic family that they were all going on a cruise to Spain, which they had chosen instead of two thousand pounds, he was very put out indeed.

BOOK: Arabel and Mortimer
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