Authors: Elizabeth Avery
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Paranormal, #Science Fiction & Fantasy, #Fantasy, #Contemporary, #Paranormal & Urban, #Superhero, #Teen & Young Adult
He paused and looked at her questioningly. She nodded this time. So far, it made sense.
“Well, with Wolff-Parkinson-White, you have an extra fiber or fibers between the chambers. They’re additional pathways for the electricity to flow through, so the heart isn’t getting just the one impetus to pump, it’s getting several. The additional pathways cause the energy conducted in my heart to travel in a circuit that goes down my normal AV node and then up the abnormal pathway and makes my heart beat much faster than normal. The bad news is that my abnormal pathway also conducts electricity very fast from the atria to my ventricles. The faster the energy travels, the faster the heart pumps. So my heart has the potential to pump really, really, fast. When that happens, if I can’t stop it, it could kill me, since my heart doesn’t have time to relax to fill properly with blood and therefore no blood is being pumped out to my brain and other vital organs. Any questions so far?”
Miranda’s brain hummed with all the new information as she tried to understand how all of this applied to everything she already knew about Bryce.
“Did the Ebstein’s thing cause the other thing?”
“Well, people with structurally normal hearts can have WPW, but less than a third of people with Ebstein’s also have WPW. It was just a really, really shitty coincidence.”
“Can’t you have an operation to fix it?” she asked.
“Ah, and now you can see why the situation is so ironic. I tried to have the procedure for the Wolff-Parkinson-White. It’s called catheter ablation and is a fairly simple procedure.
Catheters are threaded through the blood vessels to reach the additional paths and then energy is used to destroy them.
And it usually resolves the whole problem. But my extra fibers were just too close to the AV node and the coronary artery, and doing the ablation would have caused a heart attack. The doctors decided it was too high risk. Next set of questions: go.”
Miranda thought.
“So you have these two conditions, and they can’t be fixed surgically. So what can you do to fix them?”
Bryce laughed, a humorless sound.
“Fix them? Nothing. As far as the doctors can tell, and yes, that includes Dan Harris, who’s an electrophysiologist, there is absolutely nothing they can do to make my poor little problems go away. I’ll never be ‘cured.’”
“You’ll have this condition the rest of your life?” Miranda was aghast.
Bryce nodded.
“Sure will.”
“And you could die… any time?”
Bryce laughed again, this time with a twinge of actual levity.
“It’s not quite that bad. As long as I stay calm, physically and mentally, so that my heart rate doesn’t jump up too high and get started on the crazy looping effect, I’m fine. I do whatever I can do to keep that from happening: no smoking, no drinking, no caffeine, low-fat high-fiber food, and so forth and boring so on. And as obnoxious as living the moral life has been, it has helped. I rarely have any episodes anymore.”
“But what do you do when your heart rate does go too high?”
He fished a pill bottle out of his pants pocket.
“Then I get to try deep breathing exercises, and if those don’t work, I get to gulp down one of these lovely pills. I keep them with me at all times, just in case.”
Miranda tried to remember what had been going on when she’d seen him take the pills. “So what makes your heart rate get too high? I mean, what can and can’t you do?”
Bryce had maintained an air of jovialness throughout the questions, but now his face fell. He ran a hand through his still-damp hair.
“Where should I start?” he asked. “How about the biggest things? Number one: I can’t live on my own. I’m a grown man with a nursemaid.” He waved her off. “I know, Matthews is great, he really is. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m not allowed to be by myself, ever. The rare times he needs to be away, he has one of his buddies on call, just in case. Even if I am physically alone in my house, I’m never really alone.”
Miranda couldn’t imagine not getting to be alone, since she’d mapped out her whole life to ensure that very condition.
“Number two: I can’t drive. Oh, technically I still have a license, but I’m not stupid enough to try it. Road rage could trip my mental trigger pretty quickly. And what would happen if I had an episode while I was at the wheel? Not just what would happen to me, but to everyone around me?”
His hands clenched and unclenched in his lap.
“Did you know that I have a Hayabusa motorcycle out in the garage? One of the fastest bikes in the world. And I have a Tesla roadster, too. And Matthews drives a damn Buick.” He pressed a hand to his forehead as if trying to wipe away something deep in his brain. “I should get rid of the damn things, but I just can’t.”
“Bryce…” Miranda reached out to touch his arm. He shrugged her off and pasted a bright smile back on his face.
“And then there’s the third thing I can’t have: women.”
Her eyes went wide.
“I used to love women: meeting them, flirting with them, the thrill of the chase. I love the way women have a unique scent that comes through even a dozen layers of beauty products. I love the way women look when they know you’re looking at them. I love the way they feel, how when you touch their smooth skin it causes a little shiver. And I love the way women taste, like a fresh, juicy peach. I know I had a reputation as a bit of a player back in the day, but I was never less than completely upfront about what I wanted out of the relationship. I always had a great time, and I think they did too.”
The smile that had crept onto his face faded away.
“And now. Well, I’m not exactly a great catch anymore, am I? What do I have to offer a woman? No spontaneous trips to the tropics. No whirlwind tours of Europe. I couldn’t even take her out for a night on the town unless I bring my nursemaid, pills and a defibrillator. We could go out to eat, but no red meat and no cocktails. We could go dancing, but I’d have to sit and watch. And sex? Not unless I’m feeling suicidal.”
Miranda caught her mouth as it tried to gape open. Bryce looked over at her and gave another short laugh.
“Yeah, that’s a great punchline, isn’t it? Whoever referred to orgasm as the ‘little death’ was right on the money. Having one would literally kill me.”
Miranda’s head spun. He couldn’t have sex. Of
course
he couldn’t have sex. She remembered the way her heart had raced from just a few kisses and caresses. Imagine if they had gone farther, done more. It could have killed him.
Wait! He
couldn’t
have sex with her. What if that was the reason he’d pushed her away? What if it was because of his heart condition, not because of what was in his heart? Maybe he didn’t find her repulsive after all.
Did she dare ask? She’d said she wanted answers, but could she face this one? What if he told her that it had nothing to do with his medical issues? Was she ready to have her own heart crushed again, so soon after the first time? But she couldn’t quite squelch the hope that bubbled up inside of her.
“S-so this morning…”
Bryce cocked his head and waited for her to continue.
“When you p-pushed me away. Was that b-b-because of your heart or b-because of me?”
It had taken every ounce of courage she had to ask, and she had none left to meet his eyes.
Bryce sighed and pushed his curls off his forehead. “The Campion Charm really is gone, isn’t it?” He reached over and took her hand. “God, I’m an ass! Of course you thought it was about you. But nothing could be further from the truth.”
She looked down at where her hand nestled in his. Her stomach fluttered, a mix of anticipation and fear swirling together.
“Let me do a better job this time. Miranda, you’re a beautiful woman, and I enjoyed kissing you very much. And I would have enjoyed doing far more than kissing you too.” He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it softly. “But as you now know, I have a heart condition that prevents me from getting too excited. And if we would have kept kissing, I would definitely have gotten too excited.” His wicked grin flashed again.
“But then why did you…” Her mouth dried up before she could finish the sentence. Could he truly care about her?
“I am so sorry, Miranda. You looked so alone, and I wanted to comfort you. It was stupid of me to start something I knew I couldn’t finish. Then again, I seem to be constantly doing stupid things around you, so let’s just chalk this up to another bonehead Bryce moment. Thank god you haven’t given up on me completely and headed for the hills. I need you, you know.”
He gently smoothed his hand over the white streak in her hair, his fingers tangling in the ends.
Miranda’s smile stretched so wide she thought it might actually extend past her cheeks. He hadn’t rejected her. He did want her. And even better, he needed her.
Her heart raced, the beat thudding loudly in her ears. She pulled Bryce’s hand, still entwined with hers, toward her chest, resting above her fast-beating heart.
“What…?”
“I just wanted you to know that I understand now. How hard it must be for you. My heart’s pounding like a bass drum, and we aren’t doing anything more than what the average junior high couple would be doing.”
Bryce laughed, his blue eyes crinkling at the edges. He took both of her hands in his, and his eyes grew serious again, though they were still filled with a light she hadn’t seen before. And she could meet them head on, no flinching, no blushing, no sweating.
“Miranda, you are amazing. I have to tell you something. I wasn’t going to, since it seems kind of sappy, but I think it’s important that you know how important you are to me.”
Miranda’s chest tightened, her joy so strong she couldn’t catch her breath. It was like the issue where Arc Angel and Captain Freedom had confessed their love after defeating the Guardians. Except even better, because it was happening to her, Miranda,
not
Arc Angel.
“Ever since I met you, my life has changed so dramatically. It’s like the clouds finally parted and some light could shine through again. You’re that light. You’ve given me hope for the first time in years.”
Would throwing herself into his arms make his heart beat too quickly? Her elation stretched so big that she could barely keep it contained. But she wanted to embrace Bryce, not kill him. She settled for squeezing his hands and beaming at him.
“Now, we won’t know for sure until we hear back from Dan, but I have a really good feeling about this.”
Dan? Oh, Dr. Harris. What did the doctor have to do with this?
“I know Arc Angel’s powers better than anyone. I know what she’s capable of, how nuanced she can be. And if you really are like her, and I think you are, it could work. You could fix my heart.”
The look on his face was what she imagined she’d looked like a millisecond ago. Full of delight, excitement and new-found hope.
“W-what are you talking about? Fix your heart?”
“I told you WPW was an electrical problem, right? Well, Arc Angel is so skilled at controlling electricity that she can narrow it down to a nanometer and send that charge through even the tiniest opening. Remember Issue #47, where she has to stop the Hawk, who’d been turned into a supersoldier by Sinister Specter? She didn’t want to hurt him, since it wasn’t his fault he’d become homicidal, so she used the smallest possible charge and sent it through his brain, zapping away the exact spot where Specter had implanted the chip.”
Like any true fan girl, Miranda could instantly picture the exact issue he referenced, but this time she didn’t get a rush from talking about the story with its author. Her comic groupie status didn’t matter. She could have read only the tabloids, and Bryce wouldn’t have cared. This didn’t have anything to do with Miranda. As usual, all he cared about was Arc Angel.
Part of her wanted to try to help him, to give him what he wanted, but an even bigger part of her wanted to slap him for letting her think she meant more to him than simply a means to an end. The irony killed her: by asking her to fix his heart, he’d just broken hers.
She felt like more of an idiot than she ever had in her entire life, but the anxiety symptoms stayed away. Leaving more room for the rage.
“So that’s what this has all been about?” She yanked her hands away and stood up, challenging him. “All of your help and attention? You never cared about me. You just wanted me to fix you. You son of a bitch.”
“Miranda—”
She held up her hand to cut him off; ribbons of blue light ran over its surface. “Enough. I’ve had enough. I’m going upstairs to grab my things, and then I’m leaving.” Her hair whirled around her face as she strode out of the room.
“Miranda—”
“Don’t follow me, Bryce.” She paused in the doorway, arms clenched at her sides, and let the power spit out of her palms, the sparks dancing on the tile floor. “You wouldn’t like Arc Angel when she’s angry.”
***
Three years had apparently done a number on his brain as well as his heart. He was too stupid to live. Though maybe he wouldn’t live much longer since, against her express wishes, he’d decided to follow Miranda. Arc Angel. Whichever. Whoever she was at the moment, she was pissed and shooting out jags of electricity.
He started toward the elevator, but before he could even push the button, she turned from her position halfway up the stairs and sent a pulse of energy into the control box. The whole thing shimmered and crackled and then went dark. Dammit. No elevator.
Bryce took a deep relaxing breath and tried to mentally calculate how long it had been since he’d taken a pill. He wasn’t supposed to exceed the one per hour limit. He had to be getting close. Good. He could take one after he made it to the top of the stairs.
Careful to pace himself, he strode to the stairs and started to climb. He felt pretty good, his heart rate staying steady. Of course Miranda had already reached her room, and he was less than halfway up the damn stairs. He fought the urge to dash the rest of the way up, knowing that if he did, he’d have no strength left to confront her.
Slow and steady wins the race, right? He finally made it to the top of the stairs and over to Miranda’s doorway. And just in time. She’d thrown her few belongings into the duffel Matthews had brought and started to stride out of the room as he stumbled in.