Arc Angel (25 page)

“That’s part of it, yeah. When you’ve lost all hope, even a drop of it can be the most powerful force in the world. And I do have hope that you can fix me, and that I can regain at least some of my previous life. But that’s not all of it.”

Bryce reached over and took Miranda’s hand. She didn’t resist, but her hand felt like a dead fish, cold and limp. Better than buzzing with power, he supposed.

“Do you remember my complaining, earlier? About how I can’t form real relationships with people anymore? I think I finally broke that habit, with you. I actually do have something to offer you. Maybe not as much as I’d like to…”

He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles and was gratified to see a hint of color appear high on her cheeks.

“But for the first time in years, I’ve got a good reason to keep going.”

He shifted so his right shoulder rested against the pillows and he faced her.

“Miranda, do you have any idea how special you are? You’ve shown me that it’s possible to overcome anything if you try hard enough. I mean, look at you! You have an anxiety disorder, and yet you’re a superhero.”

He caught her chin in his hand and made her look at him.

“And you really are, Miranda. It’s not Arc Angel and her powers. It’s you. You could have just run away from all of this, but you stayed to fight, to protect people. So many people would have given up, thrown in the towel. Hell, that’s what I would have done. That’s what I was doing. But not you. I think that’s amazing. You’re amazing.”

“But I’m not!”

Miranda jerked away and slid off the bed. He thought she might run again, and started to get up to intercept her, but she simply stood there, facing the wall, her arms wrapped around her middle.

“Bryce, I’m so scared. Everything in my life is freaking me out. It’s always more and more questions and never any answers.”

He climbed off the bed to stand behind her.

“Let me help you.” He laid his hand on her shoulder, surprised to feel her trembling. “Come on, maybe I can help you get some answers. What’s your biggest question?”

“Why did I become Arc Angel?”

Bryce sighed.

“I think that may be partially my fault.”

She whirled to face him, her mouth agape. His hand slipped down her arm to rest at her waist.

“Because I killed her. As fantastic as it sounds, I think that act somehow set her free, sent her out of the illustrated world and into the real world.”

He waited for the questions to come spilling out of her, but Miranda just blinked at him.

“What?” he asked.

“I almost said that sounds crazy, but then I remembered my life over the past few days and decided to keep my mouth shut.”

Bryce couldn’t help but grin at her.

“I should have written Arc Angel with a better sense of humor. Then you two would be a perfect match.”

“Hardly. More like complete opposites.”

“I don’t think so. I don’t think she could have… inhabited someone fundamentally different than her. I think she saw you, realized what you were truly like, and made her choice. And I’m sure it didn’t hurt that, at that moment, you were in the position to help save someone. Superheroes kind of get off on that.”

That got a full-fledged smile out of her. The beauty of it made him catch his breath. He cleared his throat and continued.

“What other questions do you have?”
“Did we finish answering the first one?”

“Considering that something supernatural is going on, I think we answered it the best we could. I killed Arc Angel, she needed a host, you were perfect for the job, and the timing was impeccable. It’s as logical as it’s possible to be in this situation.”

“Alright, smartass, then why don’t you tell me what the deal is with Mr. Brown? How does he know about Arc Angel? What does he want from me?”

Her typically flippant tone belied any concern on her part, but the tremor in her voice told him the situation seriously worried her.

He wrapped his other arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

“I wish I knew. Miranda, I think you need to talk with that police detective again. After last night, we need some outside help. You said she’d texted you again. Maybe she can help us figure out what this man wants, and help us stop him.”

Miranda sighed and leaned forward until her head rested on his shoulder.

“I’m so tired of this, Bryce. I want it to all be over, so everything can go back to normal.”

“Normal’s overrated.”

She smiled again, but this time it didn’t reach her eyes.

“I just keep thinking that if only I didn’t have these powers anymore, everything would be so simple. No more police, no more scary men, no more h-hurting people. Everyone would go back to leaving me alone.”

Was he included in that statement? Did she want him to leave her alone when this was all over?

He pushed aside his worry and held her even tighter, wishing he could do more to protect her. Tremors ran through her body, and her skin felt cold.

“Whatever happens next, we’ll figure it out, okay?” he whispered against the top of her head. “I’ll be with you the whole way. I’m here to help you, remember?”

She nodded and then stood still, letting him embrace her for a moment. The longer she stood there, the more tense her body became, until she seemed to snap and pulled away from him. She met his gaze full-on for once, but the tears in her eyes cancelled out any sense of emotional progress.

“I told Dan I want to get rid of my powers.”

His stomach fell down to his feet, but he forced himself to stay calm. “Perfectly understandable.”

“No it isn’t! It probably sounds crazy. I mean, who wants to get rid of superpowers, right? But if I try to use them on my own, they’re out of control, and dangerous. And if I let her take over… Bryce, it’s getting harder and harder to push her into the background. Every time she’s in charge, I can tell she really wants to stay. I’m scared that if I keep letting her out that soon I won’t be able to pull her back in. And then I’ll be… gone.”

Bryce tried to focus on her words, tried to put himself in her shoes, to forget about his own wants and needs for a minute. If he were in Miranda’s position, he would be horrified if some uncontrollable force threatened to make him disappear.

He knew that no matter how much he wanted her to fix his heart, it was far more important that both of them continue to exist, even in their current altered states. He’d come to truly believe that over the last few days. Even if he couldn’t get his old life back, he wanted to keep going, to see what kind of new life he could create. He didn’t want to go back down the path he’d been on; he wanted to live.

He started to reassure Miranda that he truly understood, and that he was okay with her decision, when she continued.

“But I promise I’ll keep the powers until we know whether I might actually be able to fix your heart. As long as there’s still hope of that happening, I won’t do anything to get rid of them.”

Her sweet bravery almost brought him to his knees. This woman would prolong her nightmare because of the slight chance that she might be able to help him.

“Miranda…”

“Shh.”

She reached up and pressed her lips to his, as tentative as a butterfly alighting on a flower.

A shock sparked between them, causing her to gasp and pull back.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

He pressed a hand over his heart. The shock had caused a little blip, but the regular rhythm had instantly returned.

“I’m fine. No harm done.” He reached for her, but she backed away, her eyes wild.

“I’m sorry. I knew I shouldn’t have k-kissed you. It was a bad idea.”

“Miranda, stop. You didn’t hurt me. And I’m glad you kissed me.”

“You are?” The expression on her face, so full of doubt, tugged at him.

“I am.”

“Why?”

“Because it makes me pretty sure that you’ll let me kiss you.”

Her face brightened, and she stepped toward him but then stopped and frowned.

“What about your heart?”

“It’s all yours.”

***

Miranda lay on the bed next to Bryce, enjoying the few moments of peace and the feel of his arm around her shoulders. She couldn’t help but feel they were experiencing the calm before—and after—the storm, but she couldn’t bring herself to think about it all right now. It felt so good to be near Bryce, to be so close to him, physically and emotionally. They had reached a turning point today. She felt like he understood her better than anyone ever had, and hoped that, despite her general lack of emotional understanding, her sense of knowing him well would turn out to be true too.

If only it could stay this way, just the two of them, hidden away from everyone and everything. If everything stayed the same, they could be together, maybe even be happy together. But despite all the unrealistic things that had happened to her recently, Miranda remained a realist and knew the calm wouldn’t last long, though she hoped the coming storm wouldn’t hit their fledgling relationship too hard.

“What are we going to do?” she asked.

“Oh, I thought we could do exactly what we’ve been doing: stay here, with each other.”

She nestled her head a little deeper into his shoulder, marveling at her enjoyment of the physical contact.

“That sounds great, but unfortunately it’s not going to solve any of our problems.”

“What problems? We’re here, together. Problems solved.”

Miranda smacked him on the chest, gasping when he winced. And then smacked him again when he laughed.

“Oh, you want me to be serious. Oh, okay. Then, seriously, I think you should meet with that detective who’s been calling you.”

“Detective O’Hara?”

“Right. Her. You said you trust her, right?”

Miranda nodded. “I think I do. But I’m not so sure she trusts me, especially after last night’s escapades.”

“That wasn’t your fault, sweetheart.”

“The cab driver being abducted? No. That wasn’t my fault. The two men with the fried insides? That was very much my fault.”

Bryce smoothed her hair off her face. “Do you want to talk about it? What you did to those men?”

Miranda wanted very much to
not
talk about those men, or the mugger before them. But she and Bryce had come to an understanding. No more secrets between them. He deserved to know the truth, regardless of how difficult it was for her to think about. They’d both had to face hard truths today.

“Do you remember what I told you yesterday? About how when Arc Angel takes over, I’m still there, along for the ride?”

“Sure. It sounded sort of freaky and sort of cool.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure that’s how I’d describe it. Well, maybe the freaky part. Anyway, that first time, with the mugger… I had no idea what was going on. Everything was a jumbled mess, just swirling around me. I barely remember how it felt when I zapped the guy. But I remember quite clearly how it felt when I found out that he’d died. From injuries I’d inflicted.”

She pulled away, rolling onto her back, and stared up at the ceiling.

“I’d never even hurt anyone before, never tripped someone, or got in a fight, or anything. And now I’d not only hurt someone, but I’d killed him.”

“That wasn’t you, that was Arc Angel,” Bryce reassured her.

“It was both of us. I can use the excuse that I was just along for the ride, but the truth is I didn’t even try to stop her, to restrain her.”

“Can you even do that? Control her?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been trying lately. I don’t want to ever hurt anyone like that, ever again. And I thought I might have gotten the hang of it. At the dry cleaners, I tried to keep her pushed down. But I needed her power. Needed it to save myself.”

“And the poor schmuck in the laundry bag!”

“Yeah, of course, but honestly, it was really about me, and what I needed. And so I unleashed her. I wanted to disarm those men, to keep them from hurting me. I managed to knock the first one over, so he wasn’t a threat anymore. But she wanted to hurt them. He begged, Bryce. He begged me not to hurt him, and I blasted him anyway.”

“Miranda, you can’t be so hard on yourself! The fact that you were even trying to control her shows how strong you are. Wouldn’t it have been much easier to just let her take the driver’s seat and for you to passively watch? But you didn’t do that. You stayed strong.”

“I don’t feel strong,” Miranda sighed. “I wish I could find some balance with her where I can access her good qualities without getting overwhelmed by her more dangerous aspects. Instead I feel like I’m stuck between being Miranda the scaredy cat loose cannon or not being myself at all anymore. Which I’m worried may become literal soon. She’s incredibly powerful. It would be so much easier to just give in and let her take over for good. Heck, she’d probably do a better job of living my life than I do.”

“Now that’s crazy. Arc Angel is kick-ass—I should know, I created her—but Miranda James is even better. And anyway, I think you are finding a balance.”

“What do you mean?”

“Today. Here, in this room, in my house. You were throwing power around, making every hair on my head stand up on end, but it was always you, Miranda. You never switched over. You were in control, even when you zapped my elevator. Which I’m hoping you can fix.”

She couldn’t help but smile, aware that that’s what he’d intended. “Of course.”

“What I’m saying is, even with all that electricity flowing around, I knew it was Miranda here with me, pissed off at me. You have more control than you realize.”

“Then why couldn’t I keep her from blasting those guys last night? I tried so hard!”

“Maybe Arc Angel only takes over when she needs to, when it’s time to make the tough calls. Miranda, I saw the video. Those guys were going to kill that cab driver and do vile things to you. You were in serious danger.” He put a hand over her lips to keep her from speaking. “Even
without
their guns, they were dangerous. I’m glad Arc Angel knocked them out of commission before they could hurt you.”

“I know what you’re saying, and I appreciate the comfort, but it’s still hard to come to terms with some of the things I’ve done.”