Around the World in 80 Girls: The Epic 3 Year Trip of a Backpacking Casanova (35 page)

I
was walking over to the convenience store daily, where I’d buy some iced coffee and a whole roasted chicken every day of the week. I’m a simple eater – fancy stuff is nice, but I can live on the same food for a long time. Sometimes I ate the chicken at once and poured it down with some beer. A whole delicious chicken for 140 pesos, which is like three-and-a-half dollars, is dirt cheap. I never saw cheaper chicken anywhere; even in poor Bolivia it was more expensive.

Rachel
brought a girlfriend over to D Lux’s house and I slept with her too. Candy was very short, just like most Philippine girls, and also quite fanatic between the sheets.

I
had to go out by myself for a while now, since D-Lux was staying with his girlfriend all the time and blowing his money on drugs, something I had a few discussions with him about. I met two very young girls and I took one of them home, which was always easy to do since my friend had a videoke installation and a cute little Chihuahua dog. I loved that little over-excited dog. Whenever I tried to pick a girl up, this was one of the things that really helped me out.

After
talking to them for a while I would ask them if they wanted to go to my place and have a drink or two, quite a few girls would say no since my buddies house was far away from the center. Showing a picture of the dog and letting them know I had a videoke machine usually hooked them in.

So
this girl went home with me and spent the night, but when we started to make out and things got heated up, she shouted out “Yours is too big and strong!!”.She was very skinny, almost too skinny; she still had a nice rack, though, and I wondered what she would look like if she gained a few kilos. She said she only had a few Korean boyfriends before and they didn’t pack much of a punch. She wouldn’t even let me try and all I got that night was a blowjob. She said I had to warn her when I came. I didn’t and still remember the betrayed look on her face.

In
the meantime I was getting at least a hundred texts a day. This was even worse than Indonesia. I still had the same phone number from my first time in the Phils, when I stayed four months. Girls I met during that time were texting me, Jenna was texting me, Donna from Indonesia was texting, it drove me crazy. Girls in the Philippines will give your number to other girls and they want to “practice their English with you”, in other words this means hang out with you but usually just to chat. Sometimes they even actually want to practice English. I was going crazy from the endlessly ringing phone and having to charge it every night.

I
stopped doing dates with girls I met online after a while because the results were horrendous. Girls would show up with two other girls so you’d always have to pay for three people when having an expensive coffee in a Starbucks rip off in the mall. And of course the dates went nowhere this way.

I tackled this problem by making girls promise that they would show up at a place alone. I would tell them that we’d be meeting in a mall and that they didn’t need bodyguards for that. It’s a good method to weed out the shy girls and the ones who even show up with their mom – yes, really, this happens. Having a free room at D-Lux’s place saved me a lot of money and I helped him out by buying a couple of dozens of beers a few times and fixing a few minor things in and around the house. I paid some money for the electric and water bill and shared the costs of the Internet bill.
Although I now shamefully admit it was reluctantly.

I wanted to work out my idea for a website and D-Lux agreed to help me with it. He had designed websites before but we couldn’t agree on which software to use. He started designing with Dreamweaver but I was afraid if something went wrong it would take ages to fix. I found out about Wordpress , where I could do things myself, though I had no clue how to build a website and had to start from scratch. D-Lux said he didn’t know how to work with my software and withdrew from the whole thing. Still, he made a few awesome headers for me and even designed a business card while I was in Ecuador.

I
wasn’t allowed to bring girls to the house all the time anymore; I suspected that D-Lux’s girlfriend, who also lived in the house now, had complained about it. Also, D-Lux was careful with his belongings. I can’t blame him. He had had a few break-ins in Vietnam, and in the Phils some girls had taken stuff from his house while partying there.

One
night out I met Selma, a friend of the skinny ´´too big ,too strong´´ girl that had stayed with me. She was short, had nice legs and an amazing set of big lips. I couldn’t stop staring at them. I went with her to a cheap ten-dollar hotel and spend the night with her there.

Taking
a jeepney back to the suburbs the next day, I met a girl. I was lucky to be alone with her on there because normally jeepneys are packed with people. I flirted and talked with her and within a few minutes I had her phone number. I had just said goodbye to Selma a few minutes before and I was already picking up another girl. We rode the jeepney till we both were close to D-Lux’s house and parted there.

We
met for coffee that night and she went home with me. I was very attracted to her and was giving myself mental high fives. Her big luscious lips were even more beautiful than Selma’s. She stayed with me a few days but soon enough I got bored even of banging this cute girl up the bum. She was asking me to impregnate her all the time and I was wondering if I needed a secretary to answer all my texts and an accountant to keep track of all the banging I did.

It
became one big blur of girls. Veronica was coming over every once in a while, I met new girls and went on dates all the time, a couple of times a week I went out the bars and clubs in the center. If I didn’t score I could always call Carry and take a taxi there and sleep, shower and fuck at her place.

I wanted to see the birthday girl again and we met in a club down town. Her younger sister came with her too and their first names differed in only one letter, so it was hard to tell them apart. They went home with me and the three of us ended up in my small bed. There was barely room to move around but I started kissing the birthday girl and went for her younger, 17-year-old sister too. This was my chance of scoring a threesome with two sisters, but it remained a fantasy. There was no way that was going to happen because her younger sister was already reluctant to share the bed. She had already had a baby at sixteen, so she wasn’t exactly new to sex.

The
next morning we played some darts in the living room and I introduced them to D-Lux, who always said he was my pimping teacher but was starting to wonder how I pulled all the talent.

That
night I had an argument with him when I wanted to bring over two other girls. At one point he agreed to it and I brought them there; nothing happened that night but they had already left when he woke up in the afternoon. I later met one of them again and smuggled her in, telling D-Lux it was Veronica who had been with me the night before. D-Lux was in a daze all the time from doing a lot of dope. We had a few words again about it and I tried to talk some sense into him, because he was blowing all his money on drugs at that point. We had quite an argument for the rest of the night.

We
talked it out after he told me that I had to get the fuck out of his house when he suspected I was after one of the club girls he really liked. I wasn’t after her, but someone who is all aggressive and dazed from drug use is hard to talk to. I had already been staying for four weeks at his place and it was time to move on.

On
one of the last nights I went out, I met an Australian guy in his late thirties.

This
guy was stone cold crazy and lived there in the city. When we talked in the bar, he had a girl with him and I thought it was his regular girlfriend, but he had just met her the day before. We talked about girls for a bit.  The Aussie wanted to go to the beach at night, and now I was the one who did a pimp-style move like the one D-Lux had shown me on my birthday. I walked straight up to two girls, talked to them a bit, and convinced them to come to the beach with us.

The
five of us got into his sports car and this guy was driving like a maniac. I’m not easily scared, and as you know I’d been on some pretty crazy rides before, but that still doesn’t mean I wanted to return home in a body bag. We ended up (alive) at some karaoke place close to the beach and had a few drinks there while the three girls were singing and dancing. At the end the Aussie wanted to go to a love motel with his girl and I had to choose between the other two. It felt stupid because until that point I hadn’t made a choice yet. When I chose a girl, she said she was ok with it, but I had the feeling the other one wouldn’t have said no either. The guys working at the motel tried to cheat me out of a lot of money by changing the rates. They kept making problems and I said that in that case we’d only stay a few hours. The room was luxurious and had a beautiful bathroom. We did our thing there and slept a few hours afterwards. In the morning we took a taxi to the mall and she bumped her head really hard on the front seat when the driver made a sudden stop. She was lucky not to have broken her nose.

Two nights before I left
I went out with the Australian guy again but I think he was all fucked up on pills or something. He was super hyper and ruining all our chances with chicks. I called up the girl I’d smuggled into D-Lux’s house before and took her home with me. The Aussie was pissed off and drove off like an insane racecar driver, almost running over a small group of people. I was glad to get rid of that maniac. He texted me again the next morning and asked me to go out again. I declined and spend the afternoon with my girl.

Veronica
was planning to say goodbye to me and before she showed up I had to ditch my current girl, who was the tallest Philippine girl I had been with. Veronica came by to say goodbye but couldn’t stay. She massaged me like she always did and we had sex for the very last time. She walked out of the gate and had to walk fifteen minutes back to the main street just to get a jeepney and sit on it for another hour before she could get home to her children. When I saw her walking away I truly felt like a miserable bastard for having used her like this. She knew damn well I was banging lots of other girls but still wanted to see me all the time even though I never spend a dime on her except for a bit of food from the street restaurant sometimes. We are still in touch.

I
sat down in my room and packed my bag. I thought about Jenna back in Cebu. It had been five weeks since I last saw her but it felt like a lifetime. In the last five weeks I had sex with only six girls and had gotten blowjobs and make outs from a lot of others. Six girls isn’t even that much but I had been switching back and forth between them and treated some of them really badly and now I had to face Jenna again. I had had at least nine or ten other dates, some of which were hilarious; I had been texting and chatting with girls online all the time and had wasted much valuable time that I could have spent learning Spanish or building my website. I was about to go to South America in a few months and didn’t speak a word of Spanish yet.

I
said goodbye to D-Lux and his girlfriend and promised to visit again someday. I intend to keep that promise. Afterwards I took yet another airplane in the Philippines. I almost knew the stewardesses by now. I still have minor Facebook contact with most of the girls I met in D-Lux’s city.

Back in Cebu and Manila

Jenna didn’t look too happy when she saw me coming to her door. Of course she knew I was coming but she also knew was that I’d been with a lot of other girls. She’s a clever girl and can do the math when a guy like me stays away for five weeks. She was disappointed that I had left a week before Christmas and not stayed with her during Christmas and my birthday. Being the biggest hypocrite in the world and hating myself for it, I accused her of seeing the Swedish guy again. We had arguments all the time and I was being a dick to her. Deep down I knew it was all my own fault and that I’d been chasing meaningless sex while I had a girl who loved me.

At
night we would make up and have great sex but it couldn’t be the same as before. My mind was like a raging tornado; I told myself to keep on banging girls all over the world one moment and told myself to settle down the next. If I settled down what would become of my round-the-world trip, my book and my life in the future? Staying with Jenna wouldn’t be fair to Julia, who I think loved me twice as much as Jenna and would almost catch a bullet for me. She has a better job, an athletic model-like body and lived in a second-world country instead of a third-world one. I knew she was almost thirty and wanted to have kids but so did Jenna even though she was only twenty-three at the time.

When
I looked in Jenna’s eyes I melted, but I couldn’t get this raging storm out of my head. I stayed in her room and had nothing to do all day but think and worry. Donna had changed her mind on coming to meet me in Manila; I had fucked it up by not keeping in touch enough with her in the last weeks. If I’d just emailed or texted her every two or three days I wouldn’t have fucked things up so much. I talked to her on the phone and she said she might be able to meet me in Singapore when I had to stay there a few nights before I finally flew to Australia. But that wasn’t the same.

The
last night I spent with Jenna I tried to keep things cool and make it a nice night together. She had taken a day off to stay with me and I had to mess it up again with some jealousy shit. We fought again and I hated myself…