Around the World in 80 Girls: The Epic 3 Year Trip of a Backpacking Casanova (45 page)

It might not have been a good idea to go learn how to dance after all that climbing, though.
My legs felt like rubber when I took the last salsa lesson the next afternoon. I got a haircut and looked sharp again, except for my cheap jeans without a button that meant I had to pull up my pants all the time. I had been looking around for a tailor to fix it but couldn’t find one anywhere. I figured I’d only wear the jeans at night so that girls wouldn’t notice how broken and dirty they were. At the end of my trip I was still wearing the same jeans and I must be known as South America’s dirtiest and poorest player. These kinds of things I regret the most when I look back at my trip. I should have spent a bit more money on my appearance.

It
was time to get my Peruvian flag and I went out again that night. A short Peruvian girl with large breasts approached me. She was with a Colombian girlfriend there, but unfortunately their brothers were too. The Colombian girl had a butterface (hot body but-her-face) but had a happy vibe and was a very sexy dancer.

We
went to a couple of clubs together and then ended up at Mama Africas again. By this time I was making out with the Peruvian girl and constantly touching her boobs. Her brother didn’t seem to mind.

A
tall blond guy walked up to me and said he recognized me from a hostel in Mendoza. I had to think for a minute and then it hit me. I had talked to him and his friend for a while on the night I had an argument with Jewel when she cock-blocked me on the Canadian girl.

He
was Australian and a pretty cool guy, and when the two girls left we went on a hunt for girls. I introduced some girls to him but he got nowhere with them. He asked me about my website and I didn’t remember talking to him about it. It turned out he had heard it from someone else later. My reputation had preceded me again.

At
the end of the night I approached a Peruvian girl and started gaming her. It seemed to work a bit but then she asked me for a cocktail. I had to make a decision. Would I break my own rule and buy her a seven-dollar cocktail or move away? The drink it was, because I saw a potential lay here. Well, I was right and she went home with me after some talking and kissing in some lounge seats at the club.

On arriving
at my room I had to crap like crazy, and I left her in my room while I said I was going to “fresh up”. I took forever and she asked where I had been so long. The best thing you can do at moments like this is just play dumb, so I said “fresh up” and gave her a dumb look. She went to wash up herself and I pointed her towards a different bathroom. She was average-looking but she had a great appetite for sex.

We
banged four times that night and the following morning. I was setting new records and think I nearly broke my dick that day. Peruvian flag captured. I texted the girl with the big tits when the other one left but she flaked on me that day. By then it was time to keep on moving, because I had overstayed my travelling schedule by a few days already. Lima, the capital of Peru, was waiting…

Peru – Lima

From Cuzco it was on to the next tourist attraction: the mysterious Nazca lines. The Nazca lines are giant sculptures in the sand only visible from the air. They are shrouded in mystery, as no one really knows who made them and how. Some scientists like Erik von Däniken even believed they were runways for alien spaceships. Because sure, why not?

I
took the bus to Nazca and arrived early in the morning. It was a very cloudy day and that worried me a bit.  A taxi driver took me to the small airport, where I asked about the weather conditions. They told me the clouds should clear up later that day but I thought they were bullshitting me. They tried to sell me a flight anyway, but they cost between $115-$140, so I didn’t want to take the risk and hopped back into the taxi and drove back to the bus station. The cab driver was very friendly and even chased the bus to Lima down the street, honking his horn and cutting the bus off to try to get the driver’s attention so I could get on, but it was too late. I was forced to wait for the next one. The cabbie dropped me off at the bus station and I gave him a big tip for all the effort he had made. It took me two buses and two more taxis to get to Lima and find the Lima Loki hostel.

The
first thing I did when I arrived (besides flirting with one of the hot Peruvian girls working there) was take a long hot shower. Carrying around a backpack in the hot Peruvian sun and taking three different buses over almost thirty hours usually make you stink like a bum.

At
night I was sitting in the hostel bar and just minding my own business with my laptop. I had some writing to do and was really focused for once. I had seen a girl look over a few times and I smiled at her. At the end of the night she came over and almost jumped on my lap. She was a bit drunk and asked me what I was busy writing. I told her I was writing a book about my three-year trip but was wise enough not to name the title of it. She was named after a famous Simon and Garfunkel song, but let’s just call her Christina from now on. I did my thing and she crawled up on me; not much later I was kissing her. Christina was a beautiful twenty-three year-old Norwegian girl with long blond hair and piercing blue eyes. She stayed the night in my bed and we went pretty far, but no banging.

We
fell asleep and the next day I checked out and went looking for a hotel room with her. We found a decent one not far away from the Parque Kennedy area in Miraflores. She said she had to leave the same day and wanted to spend some time with me. I was going to get my first Scandinavian flag, after so much trying in South East Asia.

We
spent the whole afternoon in bed but she wouldn’t let me fuck her, no matter what I tried. She was naked for hours and after I went down on her and gave her a four-finger treatment she gave me a very good deep-throat blowjob, and two more in the next few hours. I normally don’t count a blowjob as a notch but with three of them in a few hours and deep-throat ejaculations; let me claim the Norwegian flag and notch.

A
few hours later we said goodbye and she said we could have sex the next time we met while travelling, which never happened due to different routes. But who knows, Oslo is not that far from Holland and my good friend Jonathan lives there too.

The
room cost about twenty dollars a night, which was quite cheap for a big room in Miraflores, one of Lima’s more uptown neighborhoods, with double bed, cable TV and a bathroom. Finding a better place for that money was going to be hard so I decided to stay there. A few hours after saying goodbye to Christina, I met a girl through the travelers’ website. This girl was a little hottie, at least a seven and a half in my opinion; she was short and skinny and had a very cute face, light brown skin and the thickest hair I had ever seen. We had some Pisco sours (happy hour, two for the price of one), I did my date game and she ate it all up. This was the perfect game to run on local girls, I thought.

Later
that night we went out to a party at someone’s house and danced a bit. At one point when I was getting a bit tired and sat down, Evita sat on my lap and kissed me. We kept kissing all night and at the end of the night we went to my room and had steamy sex there. I can barely remember how I pulled that off so shortly after the Norwegian girl left the same room. I had landed myself a hot Peruvian girl and upgraded my flag this way.

It
was great having a tiny girl in bed again; it seemed like an eternity since I left Asia with its fine short skinny girls. I spend four more days with her and she was a little sex addict. She couldn’t stop playing with my dick and constantly revived it by putting it in her mouth.

Those
four days were great, but on the fourth she got some stomach pains and said it was from all the fucking we did. I was wondering why it hadn’t happen before because she was as tight as a glove and I had to constantly muffle her moaning by putting the television on loud volume.

Evita
had to work during the day in some office job and I had a few more dates with other girls. I kissed one of them but couldn’t bring her back to the hotel since Evita was coming over every night.

We
had a lot of fun together and visited a lot of places in old and new Lima. I had the crazy plan of visiting Holland’s most famous criminal: Joran van der Sloot, a charismatic sociopath guy who had already sort of confessed to murdering an American girl named Natalie Holloway. He was a prisoner in the high-security Castro Castro prison, where he was imprisoned after confessing to murdering a Peruvian girl as well. This young guy is famous in Peru and always in the news there. Evita and I asked around but couldn’t get enough information on how to visit the prison, which was a two-hour bus ride away.

I
really liked Evita and hated saying goodbye to her. She wasn’t a complete gringo–hunter like the girl in Cuzco, but I think she’s looking for a foreigner. We agreed to meet again once I came back from Ecuador and Colombia.

Ecuador – Quito

After a short visit in Peru’s number one beach town, Mancora, and a few long, boring rides on the bus I arrived in Ecuador. Since I was on a tight schedule and had already stayed too long in places like Cuzco and Lima, I wanted to skip Ecuador’s biggest city, Guayaquil, and go straight to the capital, Quito.

I bought a ticket at Guayaquil’s bus station and to my surprise I saw two girls I had seen before in Cuzco. It was the tall girl who’d been waiting in line for the Machu Picchu tickets. I approached them and asked them if they were taking the same bus as me. They confirmed it, and I asked the tall girl if she remembered me and she said yes. I told her why I’d been so grumpy and they laughed about it. The two girls were Texans and on a two-month trip.

We
sat down in the bus and I talked a bit to them. I was damn lucky again to have a super-hot young Ecuadorian girl sitting next to me in a bus full of locals and lots of old people. She didn’t speak a word of English and we used a translator app on her phone and my Spanish pocket book to talk. The tall American girl saw me having fun with the Ecuadorian girl and pre-selection had been achieved, especially after exchanging Facebook and phone numbers. Unfortunately the hottie got off a few hours before reaching Quito.

We
arrived in the evening and looked for a guesthouse together. Everything in the La Mariscal area, also known as Gringolandia, was full, but after a while we found a small hotel where there was a bedroom with four massive beds available. We took the room and went out for dinner and drinks.

At
eleven at night the bars and restaurants stopped pouring alcoholic drinks. The president has forbidden drinking at night because of all the drunken people and rioting on the streets after midnight. Ecuador is still considered a dangerous country and is famous for its robbers and tourist scams. We didn’t know about this rule and Casey, the tall girl, and her girlfriend Alice wanted to buy a bottle of booze before returning to the hotel room.

We
went looking for a liquor store and found one with the help of a drunken bum to whom we gave a dollar. The liquor store was a small shop which was already closed but when you knocked on the door, a small window opened big enough to put a bottle through. We had to be careful because police cars were patrolling around and had already yelled at us through the speakers on top of their car when in front of the liquor store.

We
quickly bought a cheap bottle of vodka and a bottle of Pepsi and hurried back to the hotel. The receptionist opened the door just in time, because the police car was coming for us.

I
mixed the drinks in one of those outdoor water bottles I’d bought a week before. The three of us fooled around on one of the beds. I took pictures and Casey hit the bottle pretty hard. Half an hour later Alice was fiddling around with her iPhone in the corner of the room, which was at least seven meters long, and Casey and I smoked a cigarette. I kissed her and she immediately became very wild and horny.

In
the next hour I tried to get a threesome going, but couldn’t convince Alice, who had a big pair of knockers. She was quite husky but it was all muscle since she was a football player. (She insisted on calling it soccer until I corrected her.) The lights went out and Casey came to sleep in my bed. It had only been days after I left Lima and I went from one extreme to the other. Evita was a short and very skinny girl and Casey was even taller and probably stronger than me. We had a lot of sex that night. I asked Alice to come over too but she pretended to sleep. I remember Casey moaning and saying “Ooh, it’s been so long. I love it”.

The
following morning I needed to check out because I wanted a room for myself and the girls said they were going to meet some travelling friends later. We were all hungover and when I kissed Casey and felt between her legs she became so horny that she was wet through her jeans. But unfortunately it was already ten in the morning and there was no time to fool around anymore.

I
checked out and moved to a hotel in the old part of town. The hotel was listed in the Lonely Planet and was situated at Plaza San Blas. I had my own room with TV for seven dollars, that’s even cheaper than a dorm room close to La Mariscal. There were some other tourists around but not many. The street restaurant a couple of blocks away served basic but cheap and good food. A meal consisting of soup, rice, vegetables, a quarter-chicken, fresh fruit juice and dessert cost one-and-a-half dollars. That’s really cheap and it filled me up for hours every time I went there.