Arrhythmia (13 page)

I stared at him as if he’d gone crazy. “Well, maybe because you’re constantly provoking me? And now you’re surprised? How many times have I told you to leave me alone, huh?”

“Oh, once or twice, maybe?”

“More like a hundred. Why don’t you respect me enough to accept it?”

All at once, he looked really downtrodden. “Because I just like you too much,” he said quietly.

I was dumbfounded. “Pff,” was all I could say as I tried to avoid his eyes.

“Why can’t you believe me?” he sighed.

“Oh, go on,” I hissed. “Tell Steffi all about your heartfelt feelings, but spare me!”

“Steffi?” he repeated incredulously. “Where do you get that idea?”

I shrugged and studied the lighting. “Well, you two seemed to be having such a great conversation earlier.”

Huh? Why am I holding that against him now?

Desiderio’s face brightened. “Aha, so that’s what this is about! Really, Lena. You could have saved yourself the performance. I’m not so keen on plastic hair, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“You didn’t have to dance with that jerk to make me jealous.” Desiderio grinned. “It really wasn’t necessary.”

“Crap!” I cried, feeling as though I had been caught. I turned to run again. Desiderio was quicker, though, and placed his hands on the wall to stop me.

For a few moments, he held me hostage and looked down at me almost lovingly. That did me in. My heart was racing and beating out strange rhythms inside my chest. My legs turned soft as butter and my breath sped up. Like a frightened deer, I looked at him with big eyes, paralyzed with shock.

His unmistakable scent enveloped me like cotton wool. Desiderio was so close that I could feel the heat of his body. I could see all the details of his features: his smooth forehead, his curved eyebrows, his dark lashes, the wild ocean-blue of his eyes, the straight nose, the full lips . . .

Desiderio raised one hand and placed it close to my head. “Your hair is much more beautiful than hers,” he breathed, and gently swept a strand out of my face.

In doing so, he touched my hot cheek and, at that moment, I stopped breathing altogether. My whole body was covered with goose bumps, and I automatically closed my eyes with pleasure.

Oh my God, if one tiny touch made my body react like this, what would happen if . . .

Stop!

I opened my eyes wide and went into hysterics.

“Stop it!” I screeched and pushed his arm aside. I jumped away from him and screamed angrily, “Why are you doing all this? I don’t want to have sex with you! Well, OK, that’s a lie. I have thought about it at one time or another but, first of all, a one-night stand between coworkers is very dangerous and, second, I have no desire to become just another one of your conquests. It’s a matter of principle. For chrissake, why are you trying so hard in the first place? All this pursuit and posturing is a little much since you’re just trying to get me into the sack, don’t you think?”

My honesty astonished even me. In these few sentences, I had told him everything that had been on my mind for weeks.
Damn alcohol.

Desiderio’s reaction was infuriatingly calm. In fact, he was serenity personified when he answered, “Of course, you’re right. It would be an awful lot of effort to get you into the sack. But, you see, my plan was not to let you get out.”

What was that supposed to mean? Did he mean he wanted a long-term fling or a serious relationship?
By now I was completely flustered, as usual.

“You . . . you . . . you . . .” I stammered like an imbecile.

He shamelessly took advantage of my confusion and again stepped close to me. He placed his hand on my upper arm. “Please give me the chance to prove it to you.”

I was flooded with many emotions all at once: joy, excitement, tenderness, uncertainty, and, most of all, fear. Fear of making a huge mistake. Again.

I brushed off his hand. “No, I can’t,” I blurted and fled for the third time that evening.

“Wait!” he called after me.

Panic-stricken, I hurried off. I heard someone call, “Hey, Desiderio! Where’ve you been?” He was detained. That was a good thing.

When I got back to Vera, I was beside myself.

“Oh my God, what happened to you?” she asked, alarmed.

“You know what, I’m not feeling too great,” I said, without even lying. “I have to go home and get to bed.”

She nodded empathetically, probably attributing my pallor to excessive alcohol consumption. “Do you want us to take you?”

“Oh no, that’s all right,” I quickly declined. “I’ll be fine. You stay and enjoy yourselves. I’ll call you tomorrow, OK? Good night!”

I left Go in a hurry before Desiderio could come after me.

Chapter 15

I stomped down the main street with my heels clacking and tried to sort out my thoughts.

Desiderio was asking me for a chance. But at what price? If I let my defenses down, I would fall hopelessly for him. I had never been so attracted to a man before.

What if I gave him a chance and he ruined it?

I was afraid that if that happened, I’d fall into such a deep hole that I’d never manage to climb out.

I had good reason for my reluctance to trust. I knew exactly what it felt like to have my heart ripped out of my chest. I had suffered the experience a few years earlier and sworn to myself that I would never go through anything like that again.

Grim and confused, I continued to trip toward home. All it took was a small pebble to make me twist my right ankle.

Shitty heels!

I was close to tears. Now it wasn’t just the balls of my feet that hurt. I had also overstretched the lateral ligaments.

Cursing, I bent over to massage my smarting ankle. Since whimpering didn’t help anything, I limped on with clenched teeth.

Just a few more steps down the road, I cursed again and summarily took off my pumps. I considered throwing the murderous footwear into a hedge, but given their exorbitant price, I decided against it.

The asphalt was damn cold, dirty, and rockier than I would have imagined. With every other step, sharp pebbles stabbed at my feet. I looked at the whole thing as some kind of self-flagellation, a fitting ending to an altogether fucked-up evening.

Damn, damn, damn!

I padded on and turned down a small side street, wondering what things would be like between Desiderio and me now. My path took me past an endless row of garages, and the sound of my bare feet softly echoed off the walls of the apartment buildings that rose along the street.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of other, clearly shod, steps. I pricked up my ears in fright.

Stay cool, Lena. You’re not the only person in Wollbach walking home this evening!

That was correct, of course. After all, I wasn’t too far from the only part of town where people were still out at this time of night, and other night owls would be walking home to sleep it off.

Still, I felt uneasy. Part of it was that no one seemed to think it was important to have working streetlamps on this particular street. It was dark and creepy. There were no lights in any of the windows. Everything felt desolate, and this only intensified my feeling of horror.

And now the unknown steps were approaching faster, to boot. I automatically quickened my pace and even forgot to limp. Just when I was at the point of breaking into a full-on run, I heard a strange voice call, “Hey, wait up!”

Defying all common sense, I stopped and turned around.

I was relieved to see the guy with the snake tattoo. Then again, I couldn’t be so sure whether that was something to be relieved about.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked, trying to sound cool.

Snake Tattoo quickened his pace, and in frighteningly little time, he was standing in front of me.

“You’re not going home already, are you?” he asked.

“Sure looks like it,” I said, exhausted. “I’m wiped. What about you? Do you live around here?” I had never seen this guy before, and I was wondering what he was doing in this neighborhood in the middle of the night.

“No, I’m staying with a buddy.”

I see.
“Does he live here?”

“No.”

Huh?

“Then what are you doing here?” I asked, perplexed.

“Well, I ran after you because I wanted to talk to you,” he admitted.

Good. At least he was honest. Still, he was out of luck.

“Oh, you know what? I’m really sorry, but I’m exhausted and all I want is to go to bed,” I explained to him. “You should probably go back to the others and party some more. Have fun!”

I waved and tried to continue on my way. Snake Tattoo thought for a moment and caught up again.

“Come on. The night is still young,” he said, walking next to me.

I padded on with a sigh. “No, the night is finished for me. I’m going home.”

“You could take me with you,” he suggested.

Without stopping, I gave him a dismissive look. “No.”

“Why not?” He seemed irritated. “You wouldn’t regret it.”

By then we’d reached a bigger road, and the light from the numerous streetlamps gave me a feeling of relative security.

Annoyed, I stopped and crossed my arms. “Listen. I said no and that means no.” Were there no men left in the world who understood the meaning of this word? “So go back to the club and find another girl you can make happy!”

All at once, his impertinent grin morphed into a sinister grimace. I noticed that he had a thin scar over his right eye, lending his angry face a downright dangerous quality.

“First you come on to me and then you just bail? What sort of slut are you?” he growled.

“Excuse me?” Although all of the alarm bells in my head were going off, I was getting pissed. “I admit that my dancing wasn’t exactly classy, but that doesn’t make me a slut! Now leave me alone!”

Snake Tattoo grabbed my arm roughly. “It’s not that easy, sweetie! You can’t just turn me on and then get rid of me! You’re going to have to finish what you started.”

What is going on?
This was like a bad dream.

“Let me go, you psycho!” I cried out and tried to free myself from him.

He only sneered and pulled me to him.

Holy shit, was he strong!

Helpless, I slammed into him.

“Come on, don’t make a fuss,” he panted into my ear as he wrapped his other arm around me. With wet lips, he began to kiss my neck.

I felt so ill that I almost vomited on him.

I kicked and pushed against him, but my efforts only tightened his embrace.

I began to panic and screamed like mad.

Right away, Snake Tattoo pressed his revolting lips on mine to silence me. He used one hand to grab my head and the other to dig his fingers into my ass.

That allowed me to wrench one arm free. I grabbed one of my pumps by the toe and swung the heel at his temple. I caused a lovely laceration right above the left eyebrow, and blood immediately started gushing out of it.

“You cunt!” he bellowed angrily.

“You fucking asshole!” I spat even more angrily. I wiped his saliva off my face in disgust. Revolting. I spat at his feet. “Get lost, you pig!”

That was, of course, a huge mistake, but at that moment I just couldn’t think straight.

His fist came out of nowhere and hit my cheekbone, full force.

I staggered backward with a groan. My pumps fell to the ground. Dazed, I slumped down, and everything briefly went black.

Just before I hit the asphalt, I could feel something suffocating me. Snake Tattoo had wrapped one arm around me and was dragging me across the pavement like a wet sack. I noticed the strap of my purse being torn off before I lost consciousness again.

When I came to, I was lying on my back and squinting into a bright light. The lettering above my head said “Obermeier Meat Market.” That meant I was in a small parking lot blocked off from the main road by a large building. I groaned and tried to grasp the situation.

In a flash, he was on me.

He had his full weight on top of me, preventing me from running away. Drooling, he ran one hand over my neck and from there to my breast. His eyes told me quite clearly what was in store. I took a deep breath and screamed as loudly as I could.

He pressed his hand to my mouth and sneered. “That won’t do you any good, whore. Your best bet is to stop fighting me and just enjoy it. I’m sure you will!”

A mortal fear overtook me. A madman was intent on raping me. In the middle of the parking lot of a meat market in an idyllic small town called Wollbach. That just wasn’t right. Things like this didn’t happen in my little hometown. Especially not to me. This couldn’t happen to me!

I whimpered and desperately tried to pry his hand from my mouth. He did not let go in the least, despite my scratching and pinching.

When I felt something cold on my neck, I froze in terror.

“There’s a good girl. If you don’t hold still, I’m going to cut up your pretty face. That would be a shame.” Grinning, he held a giant knife before my eyes. “So, are you going to hold still or not?”

He pushed his pelvis farther between my legs, and I could distinctly feel his erection through his jeans. He was breathing fitfully, and his breath stank like rotting meat.

I was overcome by a wave of disgust and panic.

Gathering all my strength, I desperately lunged for the knife, for his face, for anything I could reach, because I knew one thing for sure: I would rather die than give up without a fight!

With a curse, he loosened his gag to fight off my wild punches. I immediately began to scream like crazy. A dull pain penetrated my right forearm.

Blood was dripping onto my face. I had no idea whether it was coming from him or from me, but at that moment I couldn’t have cared less. I continued to thrash about wildly while the warm liquid flowed into my eyes, blinding me.

All of a sudden, his immense weight disappeared with a jerk. I instantly rolled onto my knees and blindly crawled forward. I heard muffled sounds and then a male scream of pain. Shaking with fear and panic, I struggled to my feet and tried to wipe the blood from my eyes.

It took a moment to fully grasp the scene being played out in front of me.

Desiderio was standing before Snake Tattoo with his fists raised, while Snake Tattoo was waving his knife. The two of them circled each other, their muscles tightly flexed. Each seemed to be waiting for even the faintest signal to start tearing the other to pieces.

I frantically looked around. It was clear that Desiderio knew what he was doing, his posture suggesting martial arts experience. Still, Snake Tattoo had his knife, and he only had to make one targeted hit to win the fight unequivocally.

What could I do? I had to help Desiderio!

And what was he doing here anyway?

That last part wasn’t terribly relevant at this particular moment, but the question did come to my mind.

The reality was that he had pulled the rapist off me and was now confronting him, undaunted by death. Whereas I was standing around, not being especially helpful, and feeling stupid.

I noticed the fist-sized cobblestones surrounding the meat market in a very neat sunken pattern. Without even thinking, I grabbed a couple of them.

My PE teacher would have been proud.

My first throw hit the asshole hard in the shoulder. He groaned in surprise, and Desiderio at once took the opportunity to attack.

With almost superhuman speed, he kicked the knife out of the rapist’s hand. Almost simultaneously, he jumped forward and gave him a fusillade of punches in the stomach.

I did my part by continuing to pitch stones at the staggering rapist, screaming ugly insults that just erupted out of me.

Snake Tattoo cowered and withdrew more and more until he finally ran away.

“Yeah! Run away, you miserable pig!” I shouted after him, spitting blood like a fountain. “You asshole! You subhuman motherfucker!”

Desiderio had come over to me, but I didn’t notice until he placed a soothing hand on my trembling shoulders. “He’s gone,” he said softly.

I looked at my savior as if he were a mirage, while he, in turn, looked me over with horror. His face told me that I was quite a sight.

“Shit,” he muttered. “I’d better call an ambulance.”

He was rummaging for his cell phone when I resolutely shook my head.

“No,” I said.

“No?” he repeated incredulously.

“What I need now is a shower and bed,” I intoned flatly.

“But you’re covered in blood! You probably have to—”

“It’s not mine,” I interrupted him gruffly. “At least not all of it. I think. Whatever. I just want to go home, do you understand? Just go home.”

My last words were hardly more than a whisper. Desiderio clearly did not agree with my decision, but he accepted my wish. “But only if I can take you home and make sure you’re OK.”

I nodded weakly and limped toward the main road. On the way, I found my broken purse and my shoes. Desiderio picked up everything and carried it for me. We were silent on the short walk to my apartment.

The whole time, I felt like I was in a strange dream. This experience was simply too horrible to be true. I saw everything as if through a dense veil and put one foot in front of the other without thinking. I just hoped that I would wake up soon.

At my front door, I wanted to get rid of Desiderio. He silenced me with one look, and I understood that there was no way I could get him to leave me alone at this moment. Powerless, I conceded.

“I’m going to shower,” I mumbled and left him standing in the hallway.

“Please keep the door unlocked so I can get to you if you need help,” he demanded calmly.

Without answering, I disappeared into the bathroom. Inside, my hand briefly lingered over the lock but did not turn it.

I mechanically peeled off my torn dress and stuffed it in the trash. What a waste. I also threw away my underwear, even though the material seemed to be intact. Still. I neatly placed my jewelry and headband next to the sink. That’s when I looked in the mirror.

A blood-smeared face with glassy eyes devoid of any expression looked back at me.

I didn’t recognize myself. The girl with the crusty mask of blood and the empty eyes had to be a ghost, because no one could possibly look like that and be alive.

Red liquid dripped into the basin. Through the cloudy veil, I could see that I had a long cut on my right forearm that was bleeding slightly. The cut was smooth and relatively superficial, so it didn’t necessarily need sutures. I rinsed the wound with water and clumsily wound a bandage around it with my left hand.

I stepped into the shower and freed my face from the blood of my tormentor. As I lathered and scrubbed myself, my head was empty. My only objective was to get rid of the dirt. All traces of Snake Tattoo had to be removed from my body. Without regard to my aching injuries, I scrubbed myself with an exfoliating sponge to remove every last speck of him.