Arsenic for the Soul (23 page)

Milo’s hand clasped her
shoulder.

“
We need to schedule a
supplemental test to confirm the presence of viral antigens. I’ll
need to collect a tissue sample from you.”

“
Fine.” Vivian bit her
quivering lip as she tried not to break down into tears. She could
barely process what he was saying. The words weren’t connecting,
just bouncing off her.

Vivian felt guilty under his gaze,
wondering what doubts and suspicions were worming their way through
his thoughts. Was he repulsed by what he saw? Had she been reduced
to a carrier of a sexual disease in his eyes? Was he wondering if
she infected him with HIV during the intimate night they spent in
each other’s arms?

If he did, he didn’t speak a word. He
held her hostage with silence and a lengthy stare. His eyes were
like glass, no longer beaming with love and charm.

“
Please help me,” Vivian
said. “I love you. Don’t let me go through this by
myself.”

“
Sure.”

He broke off his gaze and turned his
back on her.

The door to the blood lab shut behind
Milo as he retreated to his cold den.

Vivian remembered the words he spoke
not so long ago in the park.

I’m not leaving you,
Vivian. I won’t break your heart. I promise.

As the door latched shut, Vivian
wondered if she had departed from her lover’s heart. She almost
forgot how to breathe.

EIGHTEEN

For the next twelve hours, Vivian
struggled to distract herself from her diagnosis. She pored over
her favorite novels late at night and listened to dark psytrance
until nearly 2 a.m. She could get lost in the cranking, melodious
loop if she tried hard enough to disengage from the material world.
Still, the specter of HIV haunted her no matter how loud she tuned
up her music or lost herself between the pages of a
book.

When the panic threatened to strangle
her life, she choked it down and never let anyone see her tears.
She would find the strength to persevere one way or
another.

Returning to clinicals the next day
felt like the hardest thing she had ever done. She longed to see
Milo but she hadn’t the faintest idea what they would say to each
other. She wanted assurance from him. She needed to know she wasn’t
cut off from his life.

Vivian sighed and picked up her
clipboard at the nursing station. In twenty more minutes, she could
hang up her scrubs and head back to a home-cooked meal with her
mother.

Suddenly, she saw Crenshaw marching
down the hall and her heart stumbled over several beats. He was
bearing down on her with a grimace that never failed to portend
disaster. She walked in the opposite direction and ducked into the
women’s locker room before he could zero in on her. Rumors were
already going around that Crenshaw wanted to discuss something with
her in private. She knew this secretive matter probably concerned
her HIV diagnosis.

Why else would he need to see
her?

He would most likely try to oust her
from the nursing program for some conveniently-devised reason.
Vivian slumped against the wall. She wasn’t ready to face that
penalty yet. Maybe she could sneak out of the hospital before he
confronted her. Vivian rummaged through her locker and pulled on
her winter coat. As she gathered the rest of her belongings, she
noticed a letter lying at the bottom of her locker.

“
Milo?” she whispered as
wishful thoughts flooded her. She tore open the envelope. Her jaw
dropped and her brain stalled in the throes of disbelief. She felt
like sinking into the cracks in the floor.

The letter informed her that she was
required to take a leave of absence for health reasons. Adding
insult, it was signed by the interim director of the program,
Crenshaw. So he was making good on his promise to eject her from
the University Hospital. The one-two punch of an HIV diagnosis and
termination from her program just about reduced the last of her
sanity. She wasn’t going to sit idly by and take it anymore. Vivian
stormed out of the locker room and saw Crenshaw creeping toward the
elevator.

Propelled by rage, she slammed her
foot in the door before it could shut.

“
What is this?” she spat,
brandishing the letter. To his credit, he didn’t break into a
sneer.

“
Vivian, I’m so sorry it’s
come to this.”

“
That’s funny because the
sympathy sounds notably absent from your apology. Is this because
of my diagnosis?”

Crenshaw looked agitated at the sight
of her blocking the door, but nothing short of a catastrophe would
move her. He sighed and settled back in the corner of the empty
elevator.

“
HIV is a serious concern.
This leave of absence is as much for your own health as it is for
everyone else. You should clear your head and look into treatment
and prevention. We have options here if you need more
information—”

“
I already have this
disease! What’s to prevent? You can’t even get a handle on a
tuberculosis outbreak and you’re worried about me spreading
HIV?”

“
The truth is more
complicated than you think. We have a right to be worried about the
risk you could pose to patients.”

“
How?! I’m not going to
bleed on them if that’s what you’re getting at!”

“
Staff members have also
shared concerns about the possibility of infection.”

For the second time Vivian’s knees
buckled.

“
How is this public
knowledge to the staff? Did someone from the blood lab send out a
damn memo?”

Was it possible that Milo’s tongue
slipped and spread the news around? Was he trying to retaliate
against her at her for exposing him to HIV?

She vowed to kill Milo if he did it
out of spite.

Crenshaw’s stare bore callously into
her.

“
You understand what this
means. You need to take a leave of absence.”

“
I understand perfectly,”
she said through gritted teeth. “You’re frightened of me, aren’t
you? But not because you think I’m going to make anyone sick.
You’re frightened of a woman who refuses to bow down to you and
grovel. And that wound to your pride terrifies you more than
anything.”

Crenshaw’s eyes danced dangerously as
though he might attack Vivian. She noticed the fist trembling at
his side and readied herself for blood.

“
You can finish your last
day,” he growled. “Once you’re through, collect your things and
turn in your name badge. Don’t stay a second longer.”

Vivian removed her foot from the
elevator door. She almost walked away when she heard his voice
croon devilishly over her shoulder.

“
Do you have anything else
to say, Vivvy?” Vivian spun around and speared her fist through the
elevator, only to get her arm stuck in the doors.

“
As a matter of fact, I
have many things to say.” She looked positively deranged with a
wicked smile on her face.

“
But I think this gets the
message across.” Vivian extended her middle finger and punched the
button to the basement—sending Crenshaw down to the morgue. She saw
his enraged face
hopefully
for the last time as the doors slid
shut.

Vivian already knew she was making a
dire mistake as she made her way to the blood lab. She desperately
wanted to know who else knew about her results.

Is this payback for having
sex with you, Milo? Do you resent me because I put you at
risk?

She banged on the door to the blood
labs and an icy chill rushed out to greet her.

“
Milo!” she screamed. He
never came out to answer. She finally left before she attracted any
unwanted attention from security. Riding the elevator down to the
first floor felt like an eternity in Purgatory. She scanned the
general lobby as she meandered toward the exit. She didn’t deserve
this punishment. She hungered for the sound of Milo’s voice to call
her name and stop her. Maybe he could explain why this was
happening to her.

“
Vivian?”

The voice didn’t belong to her
charming suitor but it was no less welcome. To her surprise, she
found herself face to face with Camilla.

“
What are you doing
here?”

“
I came to see you,”
Camilla said. “Remember the letter from Ezran? Let us end where you
left off? I think I figured out what he wants…” She paused at the
sight of Vivian’s bloodshot eyes. “You don’t look well. Have you
been crying?”

“
This is my last day here.
I’ve already been dismissed. My life is over.” She broke down into
tears. “I was diagnosed with HIV a few days ago.”

“
Oh, Vivian, I’m so sorry.”
Camilla cocooned her in a hug, instantly easing the pain. She
possessed an uncanny way of calming others when she couldn’t afford
herself the same luxury. Her arms felt like stepping into a warm
bath.

“
I wanted to talk to Milo
about it but he won’t return my calls,” Vivian said once she
stopped shaking. “I think he’s the one who told Crenshaw. He said
word is going around that I have HIV. Milo was the only one who
knew!”

White hot anger gripped Vivian. Maybe
she couldn’t see Milo at the hospital, but other avenues were open
to her.

“
Camilla, I need to ask a
favor of you. Will you help me out?”

“
Sure, what do you
need?”

“
I’m going to break into
the records retention room.” Before Camilla could posit a
counterargument, she was dragged away by a desperate and unruly
Vivian.

“
I need you to guard the
door,” she said when they stopped in front of the
archives.

“
Against
who?
When I agreed to help
you, I wasn’t on board for breaking and entering.”

“
I’m going to find out
where Milo lives. If he’s too much of a coward to see me in person,
I’ll track him down myself.”

“
I know you’re upset but
this isn’t the way to handle it! You could end up in court for
this!”

“
Damn the laws! I want to
know why he told everyone about my diagnosis!”

Camilla noticed how Vivian couldn’t
even say the word “HIV.” Benign terms like “diagnosis” were so much
easier to express. “HIV” and “AIDS” rolled over her tongue like a
pungent taste, grinding against her teeth whenever she tried to
pronounce the words.

“
Just stay here. I promise
I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

With that warning, she plunged into
the archives. Nothing felt more surreal to her than this moment as
she clawed through the files. Eschewing the medical records, she
looked for employment records that might lead her to Milo. All she
needed was an address to bring her one step closer to him. Of
course she’d spent time at his house before but she was unconscious
upon arrival. She didn’t even recall leaving his abode. The
painkillers from her gunshot wound had turned that entire affair
into a blur. To the best of her memory, his residence was nestled
in the Dejvice district.

Just when Vivian bordered on her wits
end, she plucked his file from the shelf.

I have you now.

As she skimmed through his
information, something peculiar caught her eye. Milo Dušan had
undergone a name change.

Her hands trembled. Stamped under his
previous name were two words that sent a fever through her blood:
Ezran Vesely.

She almost retched on her breath. Milo
was the nefarious stalker and twin brother to Camilla. Vivian had
been sharing a bed with the same man who murdered Bryan Hajek and
butchered Sebastian Vesely. Furthermore, he was responsible for the
tuberculosis outbreak.

The door hissed open behind
her.

“
What the hell are you
doing here?” Vivian pivoted and saw the only person comparably
worse than Milo. Crenshaw stood behind her. There was something
feral about his expression, as if he was more delighted than
infuriated by her presence. “You don’t know when to quit, do you?
Who gave you access to the records? I’m calling
security—”

Vivian sprang across the room and
seized his throat with terrifying strength.

“
Remember the time you
thought you got a free pass at my tits? Something about favors that
don’t come for free?” Like a trigger being pulled in her soul, her
knee shot out and crushed his groin. “All the morphine in the world
can’t save you now.”

Crenshaw fainted from the trauma as
Vivian’s gaze scarred his soul. She stepped over his unconscious
body.

“
What happened?” Camilla
demanded as her friend emerged from the archives. “That doctor came
out of nowhere and followed you inside. I tried to stop him but he
pushed me aside and—”

Vivian was barely listening at this
point. Camilla deserved to know the truth about her brother, but
she couldn’t bring herself to voice the unthinkable. She needed a
moment to herself first as she processed this dreadful
revelation.