Arthur Rex (53 page)

And so equipped he mounted the ass, which was so low that Percival’s feet dragged the earth, and he rode in search of knightly adventures.

Now when Percival reached the town some constables had taken in charge the tinker, who they believed had stolen the gold and silken stuffs from some noblewoman, and they took him before a magistrate, who sentenced him to be put upon display in the market square in the stocks by day and to be thrown into a dungeon at night. And to him the magistrate said, “Happy thou art that this is not in the olden time before Arthur came, else thine hands would have been cut off at the wrists!”

And the tinker was already in the stocks when Percival arrived there, and when Percival found out what had happened he said to the constables, “Release this poor fellow at once, for he speaketh the truth. ’Twas from me he got the things and honestly.”

But thinking from Percival’s costume that he was a madman they sought to subdue him with their staffs, and they would not listen to him until he took them together in the crook of his elbow by their throats and they could not breathe. And then they agreed to release the tinker from his punishment.

And thus Percival had righted his first wrong, though it was not in the knightly way he so desired, and then he left the town to continue his quest for adventures.

Now he had not gone many leagues along the road (and so as not to tire his little donkey he had got off and he walked alongside it), when he saw a bright red pavilion standing in a meadow and as he neared it he heard the sound of a damsel’s weeping coming from within. And therefore he went to it and leaving his ass outside he entered the pavilion and there he saw a maiden who was tied with iron chains.

And having no tools about him Percival brake these chains with his hands and he released the damsel.

“Oh, thank thee, dear fool,” said the maiden, who was very beautiful to Percival’s eyes, and he was well qualified in this matter, for his mother and his sister were great beauties.

“But now,” further said the damsel, “thou must run and fetch thy lord, for the wicked knight who holds me captive will soon return, and be assured that he would not be amused by thy motley, unique as it is in its tin construction, and he would visit dire punishment upon thee for loosing my bonds.”

“Well,” said Percival smiling happily, “then I have come to the right place, for I would fain meet a knight in honest combat!”

And the maiden did believe him a fellow of finite jest, for she knew her captor to be without a capacity for merriment. And she continued to beg him to flee, but then the thunder of hoofs could be heard, and Percival went without the pavilion.

And there he saw an huge knight who was dismounting from a charger.

And seeing Percival this knight said, “Ho, merry-andrew, come here.” And Percival went to him courteously, and the knight said, “Now here is my proposal: that for every jest of thine which maketh me to laugh I shall give thee a piece of gold. But for every one which doth not amuse me I shall make thee eat a piece of my horse’s shit.”

But Percival bowed and he said, “Sir, I would fight you honestly.”

And the knight scowled darkly. “Well,” said he, “that is not at all laughable. Prepare then to eat a great horse turd.” And he went behind his charger and fetched up a steaming piece of dung from a newly fallen pile there, and he came to Percival to force him to eat it.

But Percival knocked him to the earth with the back of his hand, and then said to him, “Sir, again I say that I would fight you.”

And the knight arose, and he answered, “Evil as I am, I do not slay poor madmen, the which are under an heavenly protection that not even the Devil, my master, dares to challenge.”

“But I am not mad, sir,” said Percival. “I am hung with this tinware because I have no proper armor, and my weapons are made of wood because I possess none of steel. But if I kill you (and I hope I can, for you are not a man of worship so to have kept a beautiful damsel in captivity) I shall take your armor and sword and horse.”

Now this speech infuriated the knight, and crying, “Insolent puppy!” he leapt onto his charger and he rode upon Percival.

Now Percival mounted his little donkey and he lifted his lance which was made of the cart-shaft. And though this lance was made of wood only, without a steel head, when the evil knight finished his charge Percival’s weapon had penetrated his breastplate and entered his heart, and all his blood poured down into his boots, and he fell dead to the ground.

And the maiden had watched this fight from the door of the pavilion, and when it was over she asked Percival to come within. And when he did she gave him the chains with which she had been fastened and she told him to put them about her once more.

“And with your great strength, sir, you shall pull them tighter than that weak knight, whom you have slain, was ever able to do,” said she, and she was breathing heavily and biting her lips. “And when you flog me, do it savagely with all your might, for more blood must flow with every bite of the lash!”

“Lady,” said Percival, “I am your deliverer and not your tormentor. You are quite free now and may go whither you please.”

“But what I please to do is to stay here,” said the maiden, “and to be punished severely for my naughtiness.”

“Well,” said Percival, “I understand nought of this, and I see no sense in being chained when one might be free, nor in being flogged when one hath committed no crime.”

“But I am a malefactress,” said the maiden, “because I am a woman. And it was Eve who caused Adam to be expelled from Paradise, and all women since have borne her shame.”

“But,” said Percival, “without the woman, man would not have known the difference between good and evil, and therefore there would have been no virtue for knights to serve. And if in the cause of good I had not delivered you, I should not now have proper armor and weapons.”

And he went without and he stripped the armor from his fallen enemy and he put it on himself, and he took his lance and sword and shield as well.

And the maiden came out of the pavilion and she said, “Sir, in delivering me you have gained possession of me, as of the armor and the weapons, and to leave me here were against the law of chivalry.”

“Well then,” said Percival, “I expect I must take you along with me.” And he lifted her upon the ass. “But for this heavy armor and lance, which would be too heavy for this small beast, I should let you ride the horse.” And mounting the charger which had belonged to the knight, he rode in the van.

And the maiden, whose vanity was as great as her beauty, felt no gratitude towards him for preserving her, whereas she had greatly admired the wicked knight who had abused her, for no one is more important to a tormentor than his victim. But to Percival she was but an encumbrance. And therefore, learning that he would go to King Arthur’s court for to become a knight of the Round Table, this maiden determined spitefully to delay him as much as possible, and for every league they traveled she had another complaint, the answering of which required that Percival stop his horse and turn and listen patiently, and then do what was wanted or explain why it could not be done.

Which was to say, he could fetch water to treat her thirst when a stream ran near by, but he could not make the road less dusty. And he could lead them off the road and through the meadows, but he could not defend her against the gnats which rose in clouds from the grass, and if they followed the bank of a river he could not guarantee she would not be offended by the sight of lizards and frogs.

And finally she refused to ride longer on the donkey, which was so short of leg that her robe trailed in the dust, and therefore Percival took her onto the horse and he held her before him, but she soon complained that his breastplate of steel was too hard and too cold against her back. And then he mounted her behind him, but it was not long before she said the back of his armor was no better and that clutching his sword belt she did hurt her delicate hands.

So Percival dismounted, saying, “Lady, take the horse for yourself.” And then he walked alongside in the heavy armor and carrying the tall lance, but he was young and strong, and all he thought of was going to Camelot and applying to King Arthur for knighthood.

And the maiden had never known a man whom her beauty did not distract and soon make importunate, and had not Percival been so handsome and strong she might have believed him an eunuch.

Now they were still in the country when darkness began to fall in the evening, and the maiden stopped the horse and she said to Percival, “Sir, we have been traveling all the day, and now night cometh, and we have nothing to eat nor no shelter.”

“Well,” said Percival, “perhaps we shall soon reach Camelot.”

And now the maiden quite lost her temper. “Methinks we are nowhere near Camelot! And if you believe that I shall ride farther you are mistaken. And why did you neglect to fold the pavilion and to bring it along, so that I should have had protection from the pestilent vapors of the night?”

“Lady,” said Percival, “I did not think of that, for the truth is that being in the world is quite new to me, and I have never before been so long away from the castle in which I was born.”

“Then,” said the maiden, “I can see that you know nothing of chivalry, which is the law by which a knight is absolutely obedient to a lady which he doth serve.”

“Well,” said Percival, “I would learn about this law, for I long to be a knight.”

And the maiden understood that he was but a naive boy at heart, and therefore believing as she did that between a man and a woman one has the total mastery while the other is a slave, she said, “Thou must never address me without asking my leave. And when thou hast received permission to speak, thine head must never rise above the level of thy shoulders.”

And Percival now asked to be allowed to address her and when this was granted he said, “Lady, I can not bend my neck so far whilst wearing this helmet.”

“Then remove it,” said she.

And so he did, and she then directed him to prepare for her a shelter for the night and with his sword he chopped down some trees and made a hut from them, and he gathered fruits and nuts for her supper, and from the fragrant leaves of a bush he prepared tea in his helmet. And after she ate, the maiden lay down upon a bed which he had made of soft branches and moss, and she went to sleep.

And Percival lay down upon the earth before the floor of this hut, like unto a faithful dog, and as he had no clothes but the armor he kept it on, and when rain began to fall during the night this armor filled with water and he was wet and cold, but he was not unhappy, for he believed he was doing what a knight should.

But then the maiden did cry from within the hut that she was cold and that he should bring something to warm her with. And therefore he rose and collected some thick branches, but when he brought these to her she abused him, saying, “Foolish wretch, they are sopping.”

“Lady,” said he, “I have nothing else with which to warm you.”

“Then do it with thy large person,” said she.

Therefore he lay down beside her, but this made her only the more furious. “Fool!” she cried. “Dost come here in wet armor?” And she commanded him to remove it from his body.

“But I wear only my smallclothes beneath,” said Percival.

“Dost refuse a command from thy lady?” asked the maiden greatly indignant. And Percival therefore took off his armor and he lay down on the branches.

“Now,” said the maiden, “put thine arms about me and hold me tight, so that I might be warmed. And take no liberties, on pain of being vile and grossly indecent.”

Therefore Percival clasped the damsel to him, and as he had been quite cold himself he was warmed. But she still complained, saying, “I can not feel the heat of thy skin whilst I wear this robe.” And so she removed her clothing and she commanded him to hold her again, and again she warned him only to clasp her in his arms and to do nothing impudent.

Now Percival found this an easy command to obey, for he knew not what else he might have done, and in his ignorance he was not aware what was the difference between a man’s body and that of a woman, nor was he a sod who had interest in flesh of his own construction. But then he became aware that this maiden, who had seemed so slender when dressed, was considerably stouter when naked and lying down, and further that while she had commanded him to lie still she did herself begin to writhe. And she lay with her back to his front at first, but then she said that her spine had got warm and now she would do the same to the front of her body, and she turned to face him.

And now his own front was quite warm, in fact to the point of being queerly hot. And the maiden’s face was against his chest, with his chin resting against her hair, the which was soft as silk and had the fragrance of flowers. And soon she complained again, and she moved so that she was beneath him, so that he could warm her better, and now she clasped him as tight as he held her, and whilst he obeyed her command not to move, she made incessant adjustments of her situation, and Percival felt as though he were in a pot being brought to the boil. And he was amazed by this, for it was at once both uncomfortable and pleasing, as when one scratched an itch till it bled.

And this matter was not finished before the dawn came, and Percival had not slept at all, yet in the morning he rose refreshed, and he donned his armor again and he made breakfast for them. And the maiden was not so peevish with him as she had been formerly, and therefore he believed that he was performing as a knight should. And when they resumed their journey she insisted on mounting the donkey and riding behind whilst he rode the horse.

Now it was not long before coming over an hill they saw on the horizon the grandest castle in the world, which the morning sun did gild on all its towers and battlements, and Percival knew it must be that of King Arthur. And he made great joy.

And he said to the maiden on the ass, “Well, lady, soon I hope to be made a proper knight.”

“Well, my lord,” she said, “why then do not you ride ahead with all speed?”