As She Grows (40 page)

The ending tends to generate heated discussion. To me, Snow thinks seriously about suicide in the moment; however, in the end she walks away. It may not be the last time she contemplates ending her life, and it certainly won’t be an easy road ahead, but Snow is a survivor.

Actually, what I love about my ending is the reader’s heightened response to it. Without a tidy conclusion stating Snow’s exact outcome, the reader is left with the frustration of not knowing. In most books, a clear ending invokes a sense of satisfaction; the reader can put down the book and carry on with her life. But in writing
As She Grows
, I wanted to reflect reality. And in reality, no one’s life is tied up with a pretty bow.

More important, the ending reflects the reality of working with teens like Snow. The frustration a reader feels in not knowing Snow’s ending is the same frustration a person feels when not being able to help or control an at-risk youth—you never know what this young person will do tomorrow or next week. When you think you have a good idea and you have faith she is on the right path, some kind of divine intervention typically happens to wrench away the foundation she had been trying to build. Working with these youth, or even having them as friends, puts you constantly in a state of helplessness and frustration. It is a similar helplessness and frustration that the reader feels when not given a clear indication of Snow’s final decision. I would argue this sense of frustration occurs not only when dealing with at-risk youth, but in any attempt to control or know a person’s future.

Right now, I don’t have plans to write a sequel to
As She Grows
, but I do want to write a YA literary fiction series that deals with the subject of at-risk youth.

DISCUSSION QUES TIONS

1.  Snow is not the best at expressing her true feelings. When her friend Carla tells her she’s moving away, Snow responds with extreme anger. Why do you think she reacts so explosively?

2.  Snow decides she will take swimming lessons despite Elsie’s mysterious attempt to sabotage her. Why do you think learning to swim is so important to Snow, and why would Elsie not want her to explore this?

3.  Jed, Mark, Eric, Greg, and Mitch are among the few men who have an impact on Snow’s life. Some of these men save her, others almost destroy her. Of all these relationships, which do you think helps Snow the most? Which is most destructive?

4.  Throughout the novel, Snow struggles with the threat that she and her baby will repeat their family history. Snow feels she’s the “carrier of some defective gene.” She moves from desiring her mother’s presence within to rejecting it. In a sense, she feels a loss of control in shaping her destiny: “Like an indoor plant that only blooms in the spring, I am guided by a memory that precedes me.” Do you agree with Snow? Do you believe that it is unavoidable that our family’s past will shape our future, for better or worse?

5.  Snow’s relationship with other girls is not always positive. The residents in Snow’s group home can be quite harsh with each other. For instance, when Snow is assaulted by Jasmyn’s boyfriend, instead of getting sympathy, she is immediately pegged “a slut.” How accurate is
As She Grows
in portraying some teenage female friendships? Why are girls like this?

6.  The author uses language (diction) to convey Snow’s two contrasting worlds: her ugly exterior reality versus her beautiful interior imagination. Specifically, she uses phrasing (formal /informal), sentence structure (short/long sentences), and figurative language (poetic/plain language) to heighten the impact of the story. What are two examples in the book that show this contrast? Use these examples to explain Snow’s two contrasting worlds in more detail.

7.  There are many similes and metaphors throughout the novel. Among many others are Snow’s throwing up at the beginning of the book (“the contracted release of a bowl of Alphaghettis, some cherry Cherry coke, and my mother”) and Snow cutting herself (“skin spreads, parting like clouds, exposing a vast red expanse of me“). Find at least two other similes or metaphors that you find particularly effective. Describe how they make you see things in a new way.

8.  Snow often refers to her ability to find comfort in her imagination and make-believe truths. For instance, she talks about her “idea” of a father being better than the possible reality. While Jasmyn will spend her life trying to forget her father, Snow says she can create him the way she wants him to be. Does Snow have a point? Is it better to know the truth or to find comfort in your own illusions? Was it good that Elsie told Snow the truth about her mother?

9.  Though Snow makes many mistakes, she also develops in small ways. Among these changes in character are how she sees herself, how she interacts with Eric, how she interacts with family, and how she views her unborn child. Choose an area where Snow changes, and give examples that show this development.

10.  Snow makes many mistakes, but many terrible things also happen to her. In your opinion, what was the worst thing that happened to Snow? Was there anything good that came out of it?

To access Penguin Group (Canada) Readers Guides online, visit the Penguin Group (Canada) website at
www.penguin.ca
.