As You Desire (9 page)

She flinched as he sprang up in the bed. He looked at her without blinking, then rubbed his eyes.
“You were having another nightmare.”
Rafi exhaled. “I’m sorry I woke you.”
“Don’t be. I was already up and I know what it’s like to be plagued by bad dreams.”
Who is Sharon?
She wanted to know. The question burnt the back of her throat, but she didn’t want to pry.
Besides, it isn’t any of my business—right?
That knowledge didn’t stop her from wondering as Rafi swung his legs out of the bed and stood. He was still naked and Lona swallowed hard as her eyes roved over his hard, lean form. A flash of heat zipped through her as he met her gaze.
“How are you feeling?”
“Who is Sharon?”
The blood drained from Rafi’s face and Lona could feel it slipping from hers at the same rapid pace. Her heart skipped a beat as he stared at her.
How could I ask him the very question I just vowed not to?
Somehow she knew it was a subject he didn’t want to discuss.
What had she done?
“I’m sorry, Rafi—you don’t have to answer that.” Lona watched him snatch a towel from the floor and wrap it around his hips. “It’s just that you’ve mentioned that name twice in your dreams—”
“Sharon was my wife.”
Rafi’s eyes were lifeless as he raked a hand through his hair.
“I lost her a long time ago.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Lona shifted onto her knees and tucked the sheet around her breasts.
It was obvious the passage of time had done little to heal the deep wounds of his heart.
“Don’t be.” Rafi attempted to smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I regret waking you up so early this morning.”
“I haven’t slept this well in weeks.” Lona ripped the sheet free from the bed and wrapped it around her body as she got up.
The moment she was on her feet, a wave of debilitating pressure twisted in her belly, snatching her breath as she gasped. The arc of pain that speared through her was unlike anything else she’d ever experienced—stronger; wickedly agonising. She stumbled back onto the bed, unable to respond as Rafi came to her side.
She faded into blackness as he lifted her into his arms, thankful for the numbing void where nothing could hurt her.

Niri’s gentle voice asked too much of her. She wanted to stay in the warm cocoon she was in, free from her past and uncertain future.
“Lona?”
Lona opened her eyes, bracing for pain and finding her body curiously numb. Three other elves stood nearby with what looked like crystals in their outstretched hands. Their eyes were closed as they gently swayed to a beat Lona could not hear. She focused on Niri’s face before searching the room for Rafi. He was by the door, his face drawn as if he’d been standing there for hours.
Wait…it’s dark outside.
She’d been out for almost an entire day.
“Wh—what happened?” She tried to sit and the room began to spin.
“You need to rest,” Niri said, her low voice full of concern. “Your body has gone through a lot—you need time to recover.”
Recover?
The elf’s calm words did not slow down her racing heart.
“The b—baby?”
Lona felt the pause in the room, waves of compassion and hesitancy swelling around her as Niri stroked a lock of her hair. Rafi came closer and the other elves backed away as he stepped forward. He took her hand and she knew the answer to her question. She was no longer pregnant.
Tears flooded her eyes, surprising her. All this time, she’d fought facing the reality of bearing Rue’s baby, unable to separate the tiny life growing inside her from the man with whom she’d become so disillusioned. She’d just needed a little more time to accept things…to deal with the knowledge that he’d been controlling her, using her ability as a conduit for psychic energy.
Lona wrenched her hand away from Rafi to touch her belly. Her skin felt smooth and soft, the taut swell that had been beginning to emerge gone.
Oh, God, the baby.
She’d never uttered a single word to her unborn child. She hadn’t sung any lullabies or offered up any prayers for her baby.
My baby.
Lona struggled to breathe as more tears slipped into her ears.
Despite my feelings towards Rue, the baby was innocent.
“You’re going to be fine, Lona.”
So why did she feel like she was hyperventilating?
Rafi’s hand covered hers, on top of her stomach, and she let out a low sob, overwhelmed by everything—even his tenderness. All she wanted to do was slip back into the peaceful slumber Niri had awoken her from.
Maybe if she closed her heavy eyelids she could escape.
Niri touched her forehead. “Sleep now. Tomorrow you’ll feel like yourself. Our magic will have healed your body completely.”
“It’s going to be okay,” Rafi said, gently squeezing her fingers.
Lona nodded, averting her eyes from his. She didn’t believe him as her eyelids fluttered closed.

Rafi continued to pace Niri’s living room floor, unable to relax. The look on Lona’s face had twisted his heart in a million different directions. He knew that…that look of quiet resignation, the acceptance of dreams destroyed and hope lost. It killed him to know she was in that dark place now.

“Rafi, she’s going to be out for hours. You should get some rest. You look like hell.” “I’m fine.”
“You’re not—”
“Damn it, Niri!”
Rafi held up his hands. “I’m sorry.”
Niri shook her head, her voice gentle and understanding. “Don’t be.”
Rafi released a tight breath. “How did this happen?”
“I don’t know for sure. Pregnancies can be tricky in the best of circumstances. Lona’s

Rafi swallowed hard, hating the question he was about to ask, but needing to know the answer. “Before all of this happened we were…together.”
Niri stared at him, her face devoid of any expression. The lack of judgement in her eyes made it easier to speak.
“We didn’t have sex, but we were—”
“I understand. Don’t think for one second this miscarriage had anything to do with that.”
Rafi searched the elf’s face, wanting to believe her words as his attention shifted to the closed door leading to where Lona lay sleeping. He couldn’t stop thinking he’d caused this somehow, by wanting to be with her. His mind was filled with erotic images of the two of them on his bed. Being with Lona had awoken something in him he’d thought lost forever. He had wanted to show her how special and beautiful he thought she was. But if he’d been the cause of any of this…
“Rafi, look at me.”
He turned his head to meet Niri’s eyes.
“Nothing you did caused this.”
“Are you sure?”
She lifted one perfectly arched eyebrow. “Absolutely.”
Relief coursed through him as he released a deep breath, even though his heart still felt heavy knowing the pain and loss Lona was going through.
“What do you think happened?”
“We believe Rue was somehow able to establish a stronger connection with Lona. That surge of psychic energy between them caused this.”
“She looks so weak.”
“But she’s strong. You’ll help remind her of that…hmm?”
Rafi nodded, having no idea how he’d be able to convince Lona of her inner strength when the light in her eyes had all but faded.
“Can I at least make you some tea?” Niri asked with a small smile.
“Tea would be great.”
“Sugar?”
“Sugar’s fine.” He watched her turn. “Niri?”
The blonde elf pivoted to meet his gaze.
“Thank you. Through all of this you’ve been there for me. You’ve always been a good friend.”
The elf’s cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink. “It’s my pleasure to help you.”
Her aquamarine eyes shone in the candlelight illuminating the room. “I can see you care a great deal for her.”
He didn’t know how to respond, but Niri didn’t give him a chance, pivoting on her heel and disappearing into the kitchen. It was a statement he couldn’t deny, although he hadn’t allowed himself to think about how much he cared. He knew Lona was wrestling with her loss and her feelings towards the baby she’d never know. There was no mistaking the look of guilt and hopelessness in her eyes. Lona was spiralling because of circumstances beyond her control.
He knew the head space she was in all too well.
Before she’d drifted off to sleep, he’d recognised the coping mechanism slipping into place…emotional shutdown.
“Here’s your tea,” Niri said, interrupting his thoughts.
“Thanks.” He lifted the china cup to his lips and paused. “Nothing extra in here, right?”
Niri laughed and the girlish giggle made him grin.
“Nothing extra like…?”
“Say, a magic potion or something?”
Elves were known to use their magic without one’s knowledge if they thought it would help the person involved. The last thing he needed was elfin magic affecting his actions.
Niri’s blue-green eyes sparkled with merriment. “I wouldn’t do that to you, Rafi. That’s just a regular chamomile and honey brew. Now take a sip.”
He did as instructed as Niri watched. The strong brew was perfectly sweetened.
“Good, yes?”
“Ye—”
They both turned towards the sound of heavy knocking on Niri’s front door.
“Niri, it’s Vander and Thane.”
Niri went to the door, wrenching it open with a delighted chuckle as the two men stepped inside.
The three Djinns bowed their heads to one another in the customary brotherly greeting.
“I’m glad I made a full pot of tea. Can I get you two a cup?”
“I’ll take one,” Thane said, flashing a bright smile as he settled his huge body into one of Niri’s small chairs.
Niri tilted her head and turned in Vander’s direction.
“None for me.” Vander’s dark eyes connected with Rafi’s. “I’m glad you were there to help Lona.”
I know how you feel about her and we’re cool.
Rafi nodded, blinking in surprise as Vander’s voice faded from his mind. He’d forgotten to block his thoughts as the two genies had walked in, distracted by their arrival. He’d wondered how Vander would react to Lona being in his life right now, since the two of them had been in love a long time ago.
I want Lona to be as happy as I am, married to her soul mate with a child on the way.

Rafi lifted his hand as he put up a mental block to prevent Vander from learning about Lona’s miscarriage. “Get outta my head, man.”
Thane shook his head. “I thought you two had your own little conversation going on over there.”
Vander ignored his friend. “What are you blocking from me, Rafi?”
“It’s rude to get in my head without asking.” Rafi took another sip of his tea.
“That’s what my wife always says.”
“Yeah, how is Karis?”
“She wanted to come, but I convinced her to wait until Lona was stronger.”
“You got any cookies to go with this tea?” Thane asked as Niri handed him his cup.
He looked over at Rafi and Vander as Niri went into the kitchen again.
“What? I’m starving. We’ve been on the go ever since we brought back Rue’s raggedy ass from dimensions unknown.”
“Wait a minute…Rue’s
here?
”
“Yeah, that’s why we’re here. The High Council had us bring him back to stand trial.”
Vander rubbed his bald head and Rafi’s eyes fell to his bare arm.
No genie bracelet. One of the perks of being a free Djinn.
No metal reminders of what you were around your wrist.
“Damn!” Rafi fought to keep his voice down. “Bringing him back here was a huge mistake.”
“I agree. The High Council’s brand of justice is better than that traitor deserves.” Thane took two of the huge chocolate chip cookies Niri offered on a plate.
“True, but that doesn’t matter right now.”
“What are you talking about?” Vander asked, folding his massive arms across his chest. “You wanted him accounted for as much as we did.”
“Rue’s got some kinda psychic connection to Lona.” Rafi resumed pacing the floor. “That’s how he got her to go along with his plan to hold Karis and her mother hostage.”
“She’s a conduit for psychic energy,” Niri said, passing the plate of cookies to Thane. “Rue used her to that end.”
“Shit.” Thane sat his teacup down on the table. “So bringing him back—”
“Bringing him back here”—Rafi stopped pacing—“cost Lona her baby.”
The silence in the room was deafening as Rafi gritted his teeth, setting off the headache pounding against his temples.
“The High Council is not going to let him go because of Lona.”
Niri flinched at the sound of Vander’s deep voice breaking the silence.
He’d voiced the thought that had already been running through Rafi’s mind. “That’s why, one way or another, I’m going to make sure Rue releases Lona from this link they’ve got between them.”
“His hold on her could be over now,” Niri said, stepping between Rafi and Vander. “We won’t know until she wakes up. Don’t you think we should wait and see how she fares?”
Rafi hated to wait any longer, but Niri had a point. There could be no reason to disobey the High Council’s rules for meting out justice.
“How long before we’d know whether she was free of this psychic link?”
Niri shrugged. “Twenty-four to forty-eight hours? It’s hard to say. It will all depend on when Rue tries to reach out to her again. Given the position he’s in now, I don’t think you’ll have to wait long to find out.”
“Forty-eight hours is the longest I’m willing to wait to make sure Rue never hurts Lona again.”
“Whatever you need, I’ll help you,” Thane said, standing up.
“Me, too.”
Rafi met Vander’s gaze over Niri. “You have a family now.”
Vander nodded, his gaze deadly serious. “I’m not going to do anything to jeopardise that, but you’re my family, too.”
Rafi bowed to his Djinn brothers, thankful for their support. He wasn’t alone, no matter how often he felt he was.
“Thanks.”
“Forty-eight hours, then.” Vander moved towards the door, snagging a cookie from Niri as Thane joined him. The two of them dwarfed the small entryway.
“I’ll be in touch,” Rafi said as they stepped outside. “Good magic.”
“Good magic,” the other genies replied with their eyes on Rafi.
The unspoken understanding between each of them was clear.
They would deal with Rue if he posed a threat to Lona in any way.
Rafi watched his friends disappear into the night, thankful for their support. The Djinn Brotherhood’s loyalties always lay with the High Council, but when one of them had just cause and needed help, the Brotherhood took care of its own.

Lona moaned in her sleep, willing herself to wake up from the nightmare drawing a scream into her throat. She opened her eyes, breathing hard, blinking in the flickering candles lighting the bedroom. Disorientated, she took in a deep breath as she remembered where she was and why.