As You Turn Away (The Walker Boys) (21 page)

Nodding, Reece’s smile widened into a grin. “That simple.” He smacked Jonah’s shoulder. “This ain’t the past, Joe. It’s the present, and neither of you are who you used to be. Just be who you are now, and make the most of your date.”

“It’s
not
a—”

“It’s a date,” Reece and Ethan echoed.

~~~~~

When the doorbell rang, Jonah glanced at the lasagna, salad, and bread on the counter, the bottle of wine on the table, and swallowed hard. He walked into the hallway and looked at himself in the mirror. He’d changed twice after his brothers left, and even so, his khakis, nice shirt, and tie looked too formal. He almost ripped off the tie, and stashed it in the vase his mother bought and brought over; he still wasn’t sure
what
to use it for. He unbuttoned one of his shirt buttons so the collar wasn’t strangling him, and then he answered the door.

Quinn was wearing a dark blue dress that matched her eyes, and her hair was curled around her shoulders. She half-turned toward him and her dress fluttered around her legs. “Hi.” She smiled at him, and the hint of nervousness in her expression almost unraveled Jonah. She looked so beautiful that he actually felt breathless.

He had to clear his throat before he trusted himself to say anything articulate. “Evening, gorgeous.” He worried that the praise might be too much for her, but she flushed slightly, and the color in her cheeks was so damned lovely that Jonah didn’t care if he’d embarrassed her or not.

“You don’t look too bad either, you know.” She brushed against him as she walked inside, and he caught a hint of her perfume. It was something heady, and Jonah breathed in the scent. “I wasn’t sure what to wear, but honestly, it feels nice to be wearing dressy clothes. I’ve lived in sweats and slouchy t-shirts the last few months.”

She paused, and waited for Jonah to close the door. He walked ahead of Quinn from the foyer to the living room. His one-bedroom wasn’t flashy, but the rooms were big enough so he didn’t feel the walls were closing in on him. “This is the living room,” he said quietly. “There’s a bathroom and my room down the hall.” He forced himself to take a deep breath, and damned his brothers for changing his view on tonight. “And then there’s the kitchen, and laundry room.” He gestured in the appropriate directions.

“It’s nice.” Quinn was smiling when he looked at her, and he knew she was being genuine with him. “I live in a two bedroom with Lanie in the city, and I think it’s not quite this big.” She grinned, dimples showing.

“Do you like living there?” In the times they’d seen one another since a few weeks ago at the diner, which included the tense movie night, and a tractor pull with his brothers and Darren, Quinn hadn’t brought up New York. And Jonah hadn’t asked. But now, he wanted to know about her life without him.

Quinn wandered over to his coffee table and bent over to pick up one of his pictures. “I did.” She was holding the picture, and not looking at him. “I loved having so many places at my fingertips—restaurants, museums, and clubs.”

“You go to clubs?” The question tumbled out of him before he could rethink it.

“Sometimes, with Lanie.” Quinn finally met his gaze, and shrugged. “It’s not really my scene, but we always have fun. We’ll get a group together and go.” She lowered her lashes, her dimples appearing again. “What did you do for fun in Atlanta?”

He’d told her briefly about going to college, but he hadn’t yet opened up as much to her about his time there as he had to Reece or Ethan. “I ran track. And I had a job at a coffeehouse, so I played regular gigs at a few places around town.”

Quinn’s eyes widened and Jonah wondered if she remembered the songs he sang to her, accompanied by his guitar on warm nights. He’d written a few for her, but never taken a chance on singing any of them for her. Now he hoped like hell he might get another opportunity, because this time, he’d take it. “I wasn’t sure you still played.”

“Yeah, I do. We all do.” He put his hands in his pockets for something to do with them. “Ethan, Reece, and I had a jam session with Dad the other day.” He rolled his eyes at her to make her giggle. “You can imagine how that went. Started off alright, but after a few hours and a lot of alcohol, we were all stupid.”

“I can’t imagine.” Quinn winked at him, and Jonah’s stomach felt like it was somersaulting. She didn’t say anything else, and the silence hung between them thickly, like her perfume. He wanted their easy conversation back, because whatever this was, it was slowly destroying him.

Jonah glanced into the kitchen, wishing he’d had a drink before she arrived. “Are you hungry?” He gestured for her to go on into the kitchen after she nodded. “I made lasagna,” he announced. “Well, Ma told me how to make it, and I tried.”

“I’m sure it’s fine, Jonah.” She sounded like she was smiling again; he focused on opening the wine, and pouring some into glasses. If he kept staring at her, she wouldn’t be comfortable, and he wanted and
needed
her to be at ease around him. “It certainly smells wonderful.”

“Thanks.” He handed her a glass, and pulled out a chair for her. As Quinn took the glass from him, her fingers brushed against his hand, and Jonah felt as though the fleeting contact was singeing his skin. He sat, and then took a swallow of his wine, letting the flavor seep into his senses. “Oh, the salad!” He stood, but Quinn waved him back into his seat.

“Let me get it.” Before he could protest, she was over at the counter, portioning salad onto their plates. Jonah sat back in his chair and watched the elegant way she moved. He’d always admired her grace. He hadn’t seen her on a stage in years but he was willing to bet she still owned it entirely. “How are you settling in?” Quinn called.

“Fine.” He had to force himself to think of anything but how natural she looked here in his kitchen, because from there, his thoughts would be less chaste. “It’s real good to be back.” He paused, mulling over his next words, and hoping he’d regain the use of his brain soon. “I’m still amazed
how
good.”

Quinn set his salad in front of him, and took her seat. As they ate, Jonah wanted to ask what she was thinking, but he told himself to be polite. He finished his first, and pushed his plate away; noticing the set to Quinn’s shoulders slowly relaxing, he knew they were on the right track. This was such new territory for them both, but he didn’t want to scare her away again. Before Reece mentioned the fear, he hadn’t even realized it was there for him
or
for her. But now Jonah knew he was terrified of losing Quinn all over again, so he had to go about this the right way.

“That was wonderful.” Quinn’s voice shook him loose from his thoughts. She was finished with her salad, so he stood and took her plate. As he dished lasagna and rolls onto their dinner plates and carried them to the table, he tried not to think about what it would feel like to touch her hair again. He took his seat, and waited for Quinn to try the lasagna.

“Did I massacre the recipe?” He tried for a smile.

“No, it’s good.” Quinn took another bite, and swallowed. “Really good.” She sipped at her wine before she gestured at him with her fork. “You did your mother proud.” She dug into her food, and Jonah did the same. The soft clink of their silverware against their plates was a hushed melody in the background.

“So how’s Clay doin’?” Jonah finished his wine, and poured Quinn, then himself a small amount more.

Quinn looked surprised at his question, but as she tore off a piece of her roll, she met his eyes. “He’s doing really well.” Her entire expression softened. “Our relationship is coming along. We still have some lost time to make up for, but it’s amazing to have my dad back again.”

Jonah leaned forward in his seat, dragging his fork through the last of his food. “I’m real happy to hear it.” He finally gave up, laying his silverware down. “Hey, Quinn…” He paused, waiting until she was looking at him. “I’ve wanted to ask you.” He scratched at his stubble; he’d forgotten to shave earlier and now he wished he had. “What are your plans? Are you thinking of staying here, or going back to your life in the city?”

She frowned, and put her own fork on her plate. “I’m not sure,” she admitted. “I’ve gone over and over the options, and I want to be here for my dad. I really do, and I could easily see myself staying here. But I have a life in New York, like you said. Lanie’s there. My company is there.”

Jonah tried not to react to her statement, but the thought of her leaving again, even if it wasn’t for good, made it feel like something inside him was slowly disintegrating. “That makes sense. Is there. Um.” His mouth was dry, so he took a drink of wine, but it didn’t help. “Is there anyone special to go back to?”

Quinn sat back in her chair, and studied him. Jonah wasn’t sure what to make of her scrutiny, but he tried to at least pretend his entire world didn’t hinge on her answer. “No,” she finally answered. “I was dating someone a few weeks before I came here but it wasn’t serious.” She looked down at her hands. “It never is, not with any of them.”

“So in the con column for staying here, there’s your life in New York, and Lanie.” Jonah struggled to keep his voice level, but he knew he was losing that fight. Knowing she wasn’t with anyone meant there was no reason he couldn’t pursue her if she wanted him. “In the pro column for staying here, there’s your dad, your aunt, Darren, and…”

Her head came up as his voice trailed off, and her eyes felt like they were burning right into him. “And what, Jonah?”

As Jonah stared at her, all he could see was the hurt of the past fading, until the hope of the future took precedence. He hadn’t believed it was possible when his brothers told him the past could be the past, but now the seconds between them seemed stretched full of infinite possibilities. Infinite moments full of laughter and hope and love. Infinite days, strung together into a future that was their own. And Jonah knew he had to take the chance. He had to be the man he’d spent so long wanting to be.

“And
me
.” He didn’t look away from her as the words finally left his lips. “There’s me if that’s something you’d want.”

A soft gasp escaped Quinn, and tears shone in her eyes. Jonah was out of his chair and kneeling at her side before he even realized he’d made the decision to move. Her eyes were impossibly full, but the tears weren’t falling. They dotted her lashes like trapped stars. “Quinn,” he whispered, “It’s your choice. But I’m here—if you want me.” He swallowed twice against a throat gone tight. “I will be your friend for the rest of your life if that’s what you want, but I want to be much more than that. I think I have from the moment I saw you again.”

She bowed her head for a long moment, and he couldn’t see her face. He had no clue what she was thinking, but when she raised her head, the tears were gone. Only the faint glistening on her cheeks assured him he hadn’t imagined them. “Jonah, I…” Quinn stretched her hand out until her fingers ghosted across his cheek, haunting his skin. “I can’t hide from the truth anymore. I want more than friendship, too.”

Jonah leaned into her touch; after so long denied it, he wanted her hands all over him. But her simple caress was enough for now. Her words rocketed through him, and he couldn’t suppress his grin. “I’m glad, sweetheart,” he said quietly. He stood, and took her hands, then helped her to her feet. “I swear I’m the sort of man you can trust this time, Quinn.” He touched her face softly. “And I’ll prove it to you every single day, but tonight…may I please kiss you?”

He was afraid he’d moved too fast again, because Quinn didn’t say anything for a long moment. He couldn’t allow himself to think she might refuse him, but his question was a heavy thing, bowing him over. The silence was a torment until she finally nodded. “Yes.” Her permission was all he needed.

Jonah only had to take one step to erase the distance between them. Her lips parted as he put one hand on either side of her face. He brought his mouth to hers, and Quinn kissed him back almost immediately. Her skin under his palms was warm as he tipped her head back slightly, and took her upper lip in between his. He shifted his body, taking in more of her warmth; she was flushed skin and silk as her dress curled around them. Jonah increased the pressure of their kiss, easing his tongue into her mouth. He moved one hand to the back of her neck, and one to her waist.

He kept the kiss languid, exploring her mouth with his, but not in any rush. He could taste wine on her lips, and Jonah slowly guided Quinn out of the kitchen and into the living room. He sank onto the couch and tugged her with him. Jonah moved his mouth to her neck and down to her collarbone, and she made a small, sighing sound that threatened to destroy his composure.

“
I’ve wanted to be able to do this,” he murmured. Touching his mouth to her throat, Jonah pressed kisses on her soft skin until he reached her lips again. He kissed her deeply, angling her head while he put an arm around her to pull her closer. “I’ve wanted to hold you for so long, darlin’.” He tightened his grasp on her until she was flush against him; Quinn moaned against his mouth, and kissed him harder.

His self-control shattered around him. Jonah slid a hand down Quinn’s leg, splaying his fingers around her thigh. He felt her muscles tighten, and he eased his way upward, under her dress. “If you want me to stop,” he whispered against the shell of her ear, “you’re going to have to tell me, Quinn.” He sunk his teeth into her ear and chuckled as she squirmed in his arms. “If you don’t, I’ll keep going.”