As You Turn Away (The Walker Boys) (20 page)

Hannah frowned. “So in the meantime, you’re going to let a ton of opportunities pass you by because you’re stuck in the past?”

“What opportunities?” Quinn studied the other girl.

“Um, like letting Jonah Walker love you?” Hannah beamed, her entire expression lightening. “He’s crazy about you, and I’ve seen the two of you together. I’ve seen the way you react to him—like that text. It was from him, right?”

Quinn glanced at her phone. “He wants me to come to dinner.”

“And you’d normally turn him down, right?” Hannah shook her head. “Quinn, the Walker boys were raised right—to love, serve, and respect women. To treat us as equals. They’re a rare breed, and once you’ve loved one of them, you’re ruined for anyone else.” Her eyes closed and when they opened, they were shiny. “Trust me, I know. And you know it too, or will if you’d let yourself. When you got that text and read part of it, your whole face lit up like Christmas lights.”

Reading the entire text, Quinn smiled at Jonah’s words. He texted like he talked, and she really
did
want to see him. She did want to let things with them happen organically, but she was terrified if they picked up speed, they’d crash and burn.

“I know it’s scary, letting someone in when you aren’t used to it.” Hannah’s voice reached Quinn again. “I think it’s
supposed
to be. And the alternative is awful.”

Quinn felt like she was dragging herself over broken glass. “I’m not in a good place though. Some days I feel so heavy, like I’m never going to be light again. I have all these issues from my mom’s death, and bad days. Sometimes the bad days seem like they last for a year.” She sighed. “But I know you’re right. I do want to let people in, and be…
better
.”

Hannah gripped Quinn’s hand tightly. “So do it.”

Pulling out her phone, Quinn took a deep breath. Before she could talk herself out of it, she texted Jonah back a single word:
yes
.

~~~~~

“No!” Quinn leaned into the vinyl of their booth. “No, that did
not
happen.”

“I swear.” Her dad’s laugh was loud, and blended with Maddy’s giggle. “It was a fraternity prank gone horribly wrong. We didn’t know it would actually
work
when we put the hair removal stuff in his shampoo bottle.” He took a sip of his drink. “Needless to say, it was a tense semester until he moved into a different dorm, and I moved into the frat house.”

Quinn exchanged a look with Maddy. “Who knew my dad was such a prankster in his younger days?”

“Clay Reynolds, prank mastermind.” Maddy cackled, then put a hand over her mouth as several customers looked her way. She scribbled their order on her notepad, then stood. “I better check on my orders before this old girl gets in trouble.” She blew a kiss to Quinn and left.

Stirring her straw around in her drink, Quinn studied her father. He was healing well enough that he wasn’t in pain today, although he was tired from therapy. They wanted to keep him strong while he recovered, which meant he had to continue to push himself.

“I’m proud of how well you’re doing in PT.” She risked a glance at him following her words, and his grin made her vulnerability worth it.

Reaching across the table, her dad took her hand. “Thank you, honey. I want to get well again so I’m not a burden to anyone, and so if you want to come and go…or stay, you can.”

Quinn nodded, but didn’t say anything. She thought every day about the future, and it was just as much of a blank canvas today as it was yesterday. Her injury put her dancing on hold, and now that it might be a possibility again, she still wasn’t sure what to do. Everyone was being patient with her, except Jonathan. He wanted to see her when she was fully healed, but Quinn had no idea what she wanted to happen when that time came.

“I know I’ve mentioned I’m not sure what I’ll end up doing about my living arrangements,” she finally said. “But whatever happens, I want you to know that I wouldn’t…I’d never leave again like I did. We’re just getting to know each other again, and even though I’m not good about saying how I feel…”

Her father squeezed her hand. “That’s something we both need to work on—I think we’re each way too rusty at talking about our feelings. We got so used to the status quo being life with your mom, and now we have all these chances to say how we feel, to let our voices be heard. It should be easy, but it isn’t.” His gaze held hers. “I know it’s foreign and scary opening yourself up—even to me—but that’s what makes life worth it.”

Quinn’s eyes widened. His words so closely resembled Hannah’s from earlier that she felt shaken. Apparently the universe wanted her to know that she didn’t need her walls anymore, because this was the second person today to tell her that in a nutshell.

“I know.” She returned his squeeze, only pulling away when Maddy put plates in front of them, winked, then walked back toward the kitchen.

“With Mom…I could only think, or say or
feel
pre-approved things. She definitely didn’t want to hear when I was unhappy, and after awhile I was too scared to try to really confide in her. Closing myself off just became second nature.”

Frowning, her dad took a bite of his steamed vegetables. Quinn followed suit, and they ate in silence for a few moments. She knew her father well enough to know he was thinking over her words, and how to respond, so she didn’t push him. He would say what he was thinking when he was ready. In that, he was a lot like Reece, which made her all the more sure he would love Reece—and all the Walkers, including Jonah—if he got to know them. She was going to convince him to give Jonah a second chance, somehow.

“It’s very difficult to change learned behavior.” Pushing his plate away slightly, her dad gave her his full attention. “I don’t want you to ever again have to wonder if you can talk to me, whether it’s confiding a serious matter, or telling me a funny story.” His gaze never left hers. “I may have made mistakes, but I want you to know I never, ever stopped loving you.”

Quinn was near tears again. Her first instinct was to hide her face, but instead she held her dad’s stare, and let him see her emotions.

“I know I made mistakes too.” She smiled through the tears she felt tumble from her eyes. “But I never stopped loving you either, Dad.”

She was almost to the door when it was thrown open.

Her mother was illuminated by the light streaming out of the foyer. She was holding a drink in one hand, and her cell phone in the other. “Get in here,
now
.” She pointed a finger at Quinn. “You and I need to talk.”

Quinn was barely through the door when her mother slammed it behind her, and gestured for Quinn to follow her. The house was too quiet, which told Quinn her dad was either asleep or hadn’t come home yet. If he were here, he’d at least have the television or radio on, but the only sound was the clicking of her mother’s heels. Moira was still dressed for the party, although her hair was disheveled.

“Sit. Down.”

When she walked into the living room, Quinn sat in the nearest chair, and scooted forward so she was on the edge. Like most of the furniture her mother bought, it was uncomfortable. The only soft, comfortable chair was reserved for her mother. It was placed with the back against the wall facing the door, so Moira could see when anyone came into the room. Quinn couldn’t stand the way her mother looked sitting in it—like a queen, surveying her subjects.

“You left the party before I said you could.”

Quinn cleared her throat. “I hated it. You knew I would.”

“Did you think I care how you felt?” Her mother’s voice was sandpaper rubbing against Quinn’s ears. “I wanted you there so I could create a foundation for your future—something you don’t seem to care about at all.” She shook her head, her earrings swaying back and forth. “You made me look like a fool, Quinnlan.”

Staring at her hands, Quinn stayed silent. There was nothing she could say that would make the situation better. Her mom knew putting Quinn in a room full of the types of people she hated would make her miserable. She knew Quinn wasn’t interested in the future she was trying to force upon her. She just didn’t care.

“You left, and for what? You ran to that Walker boy, didn’t you?”

At her mother’s tone, Quinn raised her head. Moira said Jonah’s last name like Reece cursed. She never called Jonah by his first name unless the situation forced her to, and Quinn was tired of her mother’s disrespect.

“I know you don’t approve of him or us, but—”

Moira laughed. “What are you planning, little girl? A life married to a farm boy, giving him children?” She raised her glass and drained it. “Is that enough for you? To be nothing, to
have
nothing?”

“The Walkers aren’t nothing!” Quinn stood before she was aware she’d decided to rise. “They’re loving, and they’ve made a good life for themselves and their sons. And whether you believe it or not, I love Jonah. And he loves me, and that means something.”

Moira placed her empty glass on the side table, her hands on either side of her chair. She leaned forward, her eyebrows rising. “Love isn’t how the movies make it seem, Quinnlan. Your little pretend family may get by, but there’s a difference between surviving, and having real wealth and power. And if you cast your lot in with them against my wishes, you’ll end up miserable. You’d do better to listen to me. Let me find a match for you, a husband who will support you. Then you can play at dancing all you want. How does that sound?”

“Like a nightmare.”

Before her mother could respond, Quinn left the room so she could hide the tears trailing down her face.

“She’s gonna know it’s a date, Joe.” Ethan frowned at Jonah, and glanced pointedly at the kitchen table, covered for once with a nice tablecloth and dishes made out of something other than plastic.

“It’s
not
a date.” Jonah gave Ethan his back. He walked over to the oven and opened the door, peering in at the lasagna. How he’d managed to follow his mother’s recipe to the letter and produce something edible was a mystery to him. He closed the oven door, and busied himself washing the few dishes in the sink.

“I hate to break it to you,” Reece said, strolling into the kitchen, “but it’s definitely a date.” He threw his empty water bottle into the recycling can and eyed Jonah. “And if you fuck with Reynolds, I’ll personally stomp your ass into the ground, like I should have years ago.”

Jonah felt his shoulders tense at his brother’s words, but he lifted his chin and met Reece’s gaze. “It’s just two old friends having dinner, Reece. Don’t worry. She made it clear there’s nothing more between us. She’s not ready for more.”

Ethan snorted, then tried to compose himself. “And you believed her? You’re clueless, Jonah.” He ran a hand through his hair, but ended up combing it somewhat back in place. “Have you
seen
the way Quinn looks at you?”

Jonah leaned against the counter and braced his hands behind him. Both of his brothers were staring him down. “It’s not like that with us.” His frown deepened as he thought back to what an idiot he’d made of himself in the diner. “I was about to kiss her, and she
left
. And then at the movies and the beach…”

“She may not be ready to admit it,” Ethan argued, “but she still loves you, man.” He rolled his shoulders, and traded a glance with Reece. “So she shot you down at Louisa’s. I mean, if Reece gave up after one failed pick-up of a girl, he’d be a bachelor for life.” He chuckled, evading the punch Reece aimed at his arm.

Jonah laughed along with Ethan, but rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “I don’t think so, Ethan.” His chest tightened and he ignored the ache that always surged at the thought of Quinn. “I gave her a chance.”

“And she was afraid,” Reece cut in, his expression changing. “She’s been through a hell of a lot, Joe. And she’s probably wary of being with you again, just like you’re scared of being with her.”

“I am not
scared
—”

“Of course you are.” Reece held his gaze, and Jonah ground his teeth together. “You two broke each other the first go, and you’re both afraid of it happening again.” He crossed the room, stopping beside Jonah. “It won’t, brother. Not unless the both of you let it. But if you’re honest with each other about who you are, and what you each want…” He smiled widely. “You’ll work.”

Jonah blew out a breath. “That simple, huh?” He breathed in, and thought of Quinn, and the steps they’d taken so far. He was able to see her and make small talk, and act like her friend. But not being able to hold her hand, kiss her, or share his life with her was almost worse than trying to hate her had been.