Ascend (The Vampire Destiny Series Book #4) (3 page)

Finally gathering the courage, I opened my eyes to my new reality.  It was like seeing the world through the eyes of a newborn child.  Everything was bright, in perfect focus and exquisite detail.  I could see tiny dust particles floating in the air above me, the tiny, almost imperceptible cracks in the ceiling above me now stood out in sharp detail and the ticking of the clock was so very, very loud for my sensitive ears.

But it was the heaviness of Stefan’s sigh that made me search out the anchor that had held me to this reality and helped me weather the agonizing storm my body had endured.  For a moment, I simply listened to him, trying to search for his presence in our bond.  I was shocked at the silence of my mind and the absence of his.

The bond that tied us together was gone.  The emptiness that filled me was staggering.

He didn't know I was conscious.  I was sure of that when I heard his whispered prayer, spoken in his native tongue. "Odin, far-wanderer, ge mig vishet.  Mod och seger. Vän Thor, ge mig din styrka.  Och båda vara med mig."

With those words, I realized he was on the verge of falling apart...something Stefan would never knowingly let anyone, even me, witness. He wouldn’t want to let me see how much my change was affecting him.  I almost didn't move from the bed, knowing he would attempt to mask his feelings and try to shield me from his turmoil.  But the urge to go to him was much too great and impossible to resist.

His large, normally imposing frame sat hunched over in a chair.  His elbows were braced on his thighs with his hands folded behind his head. His blond hair fell over his forehead, shielding his eyes.  When I eased the covers aside and sat up, he showed no sign of noticing my movement, his gaze still fixed upon the floor.  As I stared at him, I was shocked to see his fingers trembling.

My stomach knotted tightly.  With the link between us frayed, I couldn't feel his emotions or access his thoughts, leaving me at a disadvantage. Silently, I approached his side.  When I cautiously touched his shoulder and spoke his name, he jerked as if I'd struck him.

Before he could reject my comfort, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly, burying my nose in the comforting smell of his neck and simply breathed him in.

He was rigid as stone underneath me at first.  He gradually relaxed, sweeping me into his lap and holding me with a fierce protectiveness.  My throat clogged with unshed tears as he held me firmly.  I gulped them back; my tears were the last thing he needed right now. I pressed my lips against the thickness of his shoulder in silent communication.

After a long while, I felt him loosen his hold. "I am sorry..." he began.  I cut him off by touching a finger to his lips and shaking my head to stop his words.

"Uh-uh.  You’re not going to do this because I’m not sorry for changing.  No one can keep us apart now.  This is the way it was destined to be."  I reminded him gently.  "Right now, I need you to just hold me and let go of everything else," I insisted, knowing he wouldn't be able to refuse offering me comfort.  As if our touch alone restored it, the bond between us opened completely, the electricity between us humming with renewed strength.

His immediate sense of relief caused silent sobs to shake his shoulders.  I was speechless at seeing this strong man that had ripped creatures apart with his bare hands fall apart like this.  Did he regret that I'd no longer be so fragile?  Would he miss the small remaining human part of me…my blood, my heart beat?

"Never."  He vowed, reading my unspoken worries.  He tilted my head back to gaze into my eyes.  His face was streaked with pink tears, standing boldly out against the paleness of his handsome face.  "I was terrified that you would not wake. I could only sense your pain in the bond until you touched me.  You were a complete void to me."

I felt my lips tug up at the corners.  "As if you could get rid of me so easily.  You're stuck with me, Stefan.  Forever."

His face relaxed and the soft smile he reserved for me relaxed the tenseness of his lips.  "There us nothing I want more than that.  Jag alskar dig."

His large hands smoothed my hair away from my face as his bright blue eyes searched my face.  "I did not think it would be possible for you to be more beautiful.  Yet you are."

His soft words made me smile, and if I could have blushed, I would have.  Looking up at him through my eyelashes, my vampiric eyes took him in.  I saw details I couldn't have seen before with my much weaker human vision.  He was more beautiful than my human eyes and mind could ever comprehend.  The flawless skin of his face glowed, the intense blue of his eyes sparkled.  The prominent arch of his high cheekbones tapered to the sharp square of his jaw.  My fingers traced the contours of his face, relishing the satin of his skin under my fingertips.  My thumb dragged across his lower lip, aching to feel the powerful sensation of his mouth against my own.

"I love you too," I whispered.  He was always perfect to me, but he'd never looked this stunningly gorgeous. Studying his face even closer, I could see more than the light blue of his eyes; there were tiny flecks of green that I'd never seen before.  I noticed the feathery laugh lines that seemed more prominent.  His flesh was smooth, his once hard body pliable under my hands.  I placed my fingers against his cheek and smiled as he leaned into my touch.

"You are back with me.  The way it should be." He touched his lips to mine, slowly, tentatively.  I melted against his powerful body, my lips working in tandem with his.  Wrapping my legs around him, I squeezed him closer and heard him grunt softly in pain. “You are stronger now.  Unbreakable.”

“Unbreakable?”  I echoed, loosening the grip my legs had around him.  My mind whirled into overdrive as I thought of all the things I no longer had to fear.  No illness could touch me and I’d walk away from a car crash literally unscathed.  No human death could take me away from him.

“Yes.  You are unbreakable.”  His mouth began a slow descent down my neck.  His tongue circled over the now silent pulse point.  “And you are perfection.”

A moan slipped from my lips at his words.  As his mouth continued to nip at my throat, his hands roamed over my clothes, lingering over the heaviness of my breasts.

“You know what I want, Stefan.  I want you to take your time with me…I want you to show me what you’ve been holding back from me.”  I laced my fingers through his and squeezed his fingers around mine, tightening his hands around my breasts.  My head rolled back and hot desire clawed at me, sharp and begging to break free.

I heard muffled conversation from the other room and the knowledge that visitors were close by seemed to snap me back to the present.  I did my best to put a damper on the desire that swirled in my veins. “I know they’re out there waiting to see me.  Let’s go see them and then you can have me.  All of me.”

His familiar growl rumbled deep in his chest.  His mind suddenly veered sharply away from the assembled vigil just rooms away.  He was already planning…scheming.

My head snapped up and our eyes met.  His were hooded and dark as his gaze seemed to pierce my heart. "We have an eternity, right?  I want you too, but I at least need to see them." I finally said softly and gently caressed his stubbled cheek with my fingertips.   His skin felt so different now...or was it me that could feel things differently? My mind was struggling to stay focused.  I sighed and traced the outline of his arched cheekbone.  "I’m sure you know, but I heard everything that went on while I changed.  It was easier if I was quiet...for me and you.  And I…I’m sorry that you thought you’d lost me."

Stefan didn't reply, but instead grasped my hand with his own and slowly moved it down his face to his mouth. He wearily closed his eyes and kissed my palm with his warm, gentle lips. The softness of his mouth and the tenderness of the gesture caused me to close my eyes and gasp. Smiling crookedly, he turned my hand around and brushed his lips across my knuckles. Slowly, I pulled my hand from his grasp and placed it on the back of his head, gently rubbing the crown of his scalp. He moved his entire body forward and met my lips in a yet another hesitant kiss, moving slowly and deliberately. He reached his left hand around the back of my neck and pulled me even closer, his large hands tangling in my hair as the kiss deepened and the energy humming between us reached a fever peak.

Normally his kisses would leave me breathless.  Without the necessity to breathe, it seemed as if the kiss would never end...nor did I want it to.  Teeth nibbled at lips, tongues twisted together in a sensual symphony.  The need and want between us almost spiraled out of control, even Stefan's kisses seemed different once the tentativeness and hesitation melted away. His lips, while tender, were much more demanding than they’d ever been.  We’d been separated much too long.

He had been holding back on me.
  The realization washed over me, my stomach clenching in the most delicious of ways, a warm, primal need settling over me.  If his kisses were so wild and untamed, what else would be?

I’d already forgotten about the worried group assembled in the next room, lost in him.  He reluctantly pulled away and rested his forehead against mine.  "I am not ready to let you go and as much as this pains me to say, your brother is waiting.  As is Anna and Lukas.  They have been worried as well."

Oh
.  Each of their faces fluttered though my mind, the images fuzzy and hard to focus on.  It was as if I was looking through my human memories with a Vaseline covered lens, glimpsing at out of focus, hazy pictures.   I ruffled his soft hair between my index and middle fingers as my mind refocused.  "Right.  My mind..."

"Is jumbled and confused."  Stefan finished knowingly.  His sea blue eyes glittered in understanding.  “I promise, it will get easier to balance what you are feeling.  It will not always be so overwhelming."

Blinking at his words, I couldn’t help but wonder if I wanted to discover a balance?  How easy would it be to let my primal instincts take over and only worry about Stefan?  We could just forget everything else for the next century.  No sooner had the thought began to unfurl alluringly in my mind, I realized how cruel and selfish that would be to the others standing by, waiting for me to emerge.  We were a family, regardless how dysfunctional.  We’d be together for an eternity.

"Promises, promises," I whispered.  I dropped a kiss on the end if his nose and reluctantly rose from his embrace.  Stretching my arms above my head, I took silent inventory of my body.  I felt stronger; any small aches or pains I'd had disappeared, my muscles strong and powerful. "The sooner we do this sooner I have you to myself, right?"

A sexy smile twisted his lips and a blond eyebrow cocked arrogantly.  He knew where my mind…and libido was currently hovering.  It was somewhere between sizzle and inferno.  "That would be the plan.  Are you ready for this?  How is your thirst?"  Stefan questioned.  His mind probed mine even as he asked.  I could feel his worry and concern.

Swallowing, I considered my thirst and bloodlust.  Honestly, my throat simply felt dry.  I felt no insane, all consuming need for blood.  I was anxiously waiting to see my ‘family’.

"It's fine.  C'mon," I urged, pulling Stefan to the door.  I reached for the doorknob when I remembered that Nikolaus was still partly human and I spun to face Stefan with fearful eyes. "Wait!  Shit…what if…"

Stefan stared down at me with a look of understanding on his handsome face.  He knew that my biggest fear would be that once I smelled my brother’s sweet blood coursing through his veins, hear the enchanting wet thump of his heart I’d lose control.

He knew me better than myself.  Beautiful bastard.

“Anna easily controlled herself around Nikolaus from the very beginning.  You are his sister.  Any desire you might feel for blood will be tempered by the knowledge you would be killing your sibling, yes?”  Stefan reminded me, brushing the backs of his fingers down my jaw and lingering across my throat.  “You can do this, Josephine.  If there is anyone that can overcome desire for blood, it will be you.  I know this.  If I doubted you, I would not let you see a human to tempt you, vackra.  I would not be so cruel to hurt you like that.”

Taking in a deep breath of courage, I gave him a sharp nod and let him intertwine my fingers with his.  “I know you wouldn’t.  You have more trust in me than I deserve.”

He chuckled; a strained smile graced his lips.  “There is one final thing we need to discuss before we leave this room.”

That sounded ominous.  I simply stood and waited for him to continue.