Ashes to Ashes-Blood Ties 3 (24 page)

I went to the kitchen and put on the kettle, adding enough blood for Nathan and me. I would take it to him downstairs and lend him a hand in the shop, whether he needed it or not. Anything to strengthen the fragile peace between us and get me away from my perverted fledgling.

As .the blood heated, I forced myself to ignore the contents of the dream. Of course, Cyrus had sent it, torturing me by day the way he assaulted me during the night. What had prompted this ruthless return of the man who'd tortured and abused me four months ago?

He'd claimed his time with Mouse had saved him, yet he'd reverted to his old ways as if I'd flipped a switch when I'd changed him. Was it the simple state of being undead that made vampires go bad? Or was it just Cyrus?

Or was it me? When he'd been my sire, it had been his blood that tempted me to selfdestruction. Was it
my
blood that brought out the worst in him now?

Wisps of steam had just begun to rise from the kettle's spout when Cyrus ambled in from

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the living room, loose limbed and relaxed, clad in nothing but linen pajama bottoms. "That lovely mental interlude and breakfast? I'm flattered."

"It's not for you," I snapped, removing the kettle from the heat.

"So it's starvation then? Until I behave?" He stood behind me, too close, his lips brushing my ear as he spoke. "I'd rather hoped it would be a more physical form of punishment." I elbowed him in the gut. He'd tensed for the blow, but still doubled over.

"Don't ever touch me again!" I grabbed the nearest available weapon, a barbecue fork, from the hanging rack on the cupboard door, and brandished it menacingly. Instantly, the old Cyrus fled. Reformed, mortal Cyrus stood in his place, his hands up in a protective stance. "Carrie, I was only teasing."

"It's not just teasing. You invaded my mind, you put perverse thoughts in it—"

"
I
put perverse thoughts in it?" He shook his head. "No. I was the one woken this morning by
your
lewd fantasies."

Oh. No
. "That's crazy. There is no way I would ever—" He nodded patiently. "And do you think I would ever? Have I ever wanted to share you with him? Have I ever tolerated the thought of his hands on you? Do you think I would do it now?" Smiling a little cruelly, he wagged a finger at me in admonition. "I may be a bit twisted, but I can't be blamed for what's lurking in your head. You were the tormentor with that dream, not me."

Legs shaking, I stumbled to the kitchen table. Cyrus pulled out a chair for me and I sat, careful not to brush against him as I did so. "That's impossible. I would never… do those things."

"I know that's not true. You did some of it with me." I heard his intake of breath and he apologized hastily. "I'm sorry, I had no right—"

"You know what I meant," I interrupted, not wanting to dwell on the past, specifically the sordid things I'd done with him. "I would never ask Nathan to… I would just never." Cyrus poured me a mug of blood and sat opposite me, looking genuinely sympathetic.

"You don't need to explain. It's your subconscious doing this to you."

"I subconsciously want a three-way with you and Nathan?" He rolled his eyes. "Listen, if you don't want my help, say so. But don't go on like this, angry with me for being in your dream. Against my will, I might add." I sighed and dropped my head to the table. "Sorry. Stay." He touched my hair hesitantly, cupping the back of my skull with his palm and flexing his fingers in a friendly, comforting motion. "Don't despair. I'm sure it's difficult, being blood tied to two men you've had relationships with."

I sat up, smoothing my hair back. "No matter how sick those relationships were."

"I'd drink to that, if I had anything to drink." He smiled as I slid my mug toward him.

"Good to see you're not above sharing breakfast with me."

"What can I say? I've got a weak spot when it comes to you." I thought of Nathan in the shop, and worried he might have seen the dream, too.

Not to worry
, Dotair
, I tuned it out
. His thoughts were uncomfortable, but not unkind. He apparently understood I had no control over my dreams, so why couldn't
I
get it?

"So, still planning to see Dahlia?" Cyrus swirled the mug a bit and dipped his pinkie in to pull out a still-congealed clot. "You could have left this on a bit longer." I made a face and took my cup back. "We already know she has information we can use.

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Probably more than you've already gotten from her."

"Good luck getting it." He sounded weary, as though if he never heard her name again it would be too soon. "You'd almost have to learn to read minds. Or get her very drunk. She does ramble on when she's had too much to drink."

"The flaw in that plan is she's hardly going to go out bar hopping with me. Or you." I chewed my thumbnail as I thought.

"No," Cyrus agreed. "Our last rendezvous didn't go very well at all." I drummed my fingers on the tabtetop. "Do you think Clarence will help me if I asked?" Cyrus blew out a long breath. "If you can find him, he might."

"Well, where did he go when he worked for you? What were his habits?" I vaguely remembered he was allowed to come and go from the mansion, but where exactly he went or came from I had no idea. "Did he buy groceries or something?"

"No. Food for the guards and pets was delivered by vendors." Cyrus's brow creased in thought. "I did send him to shop for my favorites and to get my chocolates. And all the little extras I might find myself in need of."

"I'd hate to ask." I took a sip of blood.

Cyrus shrugged. "Coercion items. Alcohol for the girls, indecent magazines for the boys."

"I
didn't
ask. I just said I would hate to." Pinching the bridge of my nose, I closed my eyes. "What would Dahlia have him do?"

"Dig up corpses for spare parts," Cyrus snorted.

"If that's all the help you're going to be—"

"Here's a thought," he interrupted. "Why not wait a discreet distance from the mansion and find out where he goes?"

It made sense. Cyrus didn't have to use such a smart-assed tone, but it made sense. "Fine." I glanced at the clock. "Well, there's no time like the present." He followed me when I stood and took the mug to the sink. "Why don't you let me come with you?"

"Do you think that's wise?" I arched an eyebrow. "I mean, what with Clarence thinking you're dead and all?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" Cyrus looked as though he truly didn't understand the effect such a shock could have on a mortal human being. "Believe me, Carrie, he's familiar with the paranormal."

I considered. It probably did make more sense to take him with me than leave him behind with Nathan. God knew what could happen.

"Fine. But you're staying in the car."

I dressed and took Nathan his breakfast while Cyrus got ready—he took the longest showers of anyone I'd ever met—so I could discuss the plan with Nathan alone.

"Mmm, O negative," Nathan murmured appreciatively after a long sip. "To what do I owe this treat?"

I smiled, swallowing the sudden knot in my throat. "Cyrus and I are going to find Clarence."

"By yourselves?" From his tone of voice it was clear Nathan was trying to be nonchalant. He failed miserably.

I let him have his delusion of fooling me. "Is that a problem?"

"Maybe." He straightened when the bells above the door jingled, and gave a wave to the

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customer who entered.

I waited until the man disappeared behind a bookshelf to clear my throat and recapture Nathan's attention. "So, is it a problem?"

"A bit," he answered, keeping his eye on the shop. "That's a dangerous part of town."
It's not
, I shot back mentally.
Nathan, stop treating me like a teenage girl who can't be
trusted with her boyfriend
.

After your dream this morning
? He glared at me as he thought it.

"Well, I'm not going alone," I reminded him, trying to keep my voice light for the sake of our charade. The customer's shoes scuffed on the floor. Humans might not be aware of the blood tie, but they were certainly aware of the tension it created. "I'll be going with Cyrus."

"Oh, that's right."
And who's going to protect you from him ?

I rolled my eyes. "That's right."
I don't need protecting from him. He's my fledgling. And
I'm not going to do anything stupid
.

That doesn't mean he won't
try
something stupid. At least take a stake with you
. "Have a good time."

I snorted. "Yeah, a good time."

The customer came to the register with a book on summoning spirits, and I quickly made my exit while Nathan was too busy to argue.

When I got upstairs, Cyrus was in his room, probably still getting ready. I considered what Nathan had said, that I should arm myself when alone with Cyrus. Though I doubted my fledgling—wow, that was still weird—would try anything, I admitted to myself it would be stupid to blindly trust him. I slid open the door to the closet that contained Nathan's weapons and pulled a crudely carved stake from the duffel bag on the floor.

"What are you doing?" Cyrus sounded curious and amused, but his face fell when his gaze dropped to the stake in my hand. "Oh."

"It's nothing p-personal," I stammered. Sighing, I dropped the stake back into the bag. "It is. I'm sorry. Nathan just thought… "

With a rueful chuckle, Cyrus nodded. "Of course." I shifted my weight from foot to foot. The moment was painfully, stiflingly awkward. "It's just, when you were a vampire before—"

"Stop!" Through the blood tie, his shame and anger washed over me. "It will never be enough for you, will it?"

"What?" My fingers itched for the stake. Not that I would be able to use it against him. The thought of killing my own blood sickened me. Still it would have been a comfort to have some means of self-defense. "What will never be enough?"

"Anything I ever do. You're always going to see me as the monster who attacked you that night in the morgue, the vampire who manipulated and degraded you. But I was a man since then, Carrie, a good man. And now I'm your fledgling. Anything I' in capable of doing now, it's because of you." He clenched his fists impotently at his sides. I looked away. "And if I did to you what you've done to me, you wouldn't trust me, either."

I heard his footfalls on the floor as he came closer. When I looked up, his face was a breath from mine. My heart pounded with uncertainty as he leaned closer. "If I wanted to kill you, I could do it anytime. We wouldn't have to be alone." His voice was a deadly

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