Ashes To Ashes (Wolf Guard Book 2) (24 page)

"He's a little tired right now. It's alright, we'll come back tomorrow."

He's leaving?

He can't leave.

I managed another grunt. Pathetic as I slumped forward further, my chest hanging down to my knees as any strength I'd found, left me in a sudden surge of weakness. My arms bound behind me, chained to the wooden pole, were the only thing keeping me even vaguely upright. I felt the witch trying to take over my mind, her face flashing a vision behind my eyes, her firebird gaze boring into mine. I could almost feel my reality slipping away, as if I floated on a sea of riot only awaiting the tide to pull me under.

"I'll be back, lad. Bring more water next time."

I heard their footsteps walking away. One heavy and one light, a giggle as he whispered words to the woman. I screamed in my head. Raged until my throat burned, gulping at air to push that scream into existence. I pulled on the chains, my shoulder snapping out of place, an awkward bend that sent my back bowing and my gasp rushing out to the glaring sky.

Silence descended in the purest agony.

Don't leave me
.

Chapter 30

"I'll miss you."

I sighed against his skin. A warm, hard surface that seemed to soften just for me."Don't go then." It was entirely selfish, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I moved my head to place faint, teasing kisses to the chest I lay on.

Hot breath blew a shiver through my hair, some racing current that seemed to find every twitching nerve on its wandering path. "Trying to...distract me, witch?"

I smiled into that skin, trailing lower with my lips to taste his stomach. "Yes, is it working?"

He grunted as I licked across muscle that bunched in answer to each soft touch. "Everything about you...distracts me."

I laughed. The little vibrations jumping off shivering goose bumps that stood to attention for my lips. "Clearly not enough."

He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up his body, obviously having had enough teasing, and crushed his mouth to mine. He rolled over quickly and I became trapped beneath the wolf I couldn't seem to stop touching. "You're inside me...taken over and turned everything gold...filled all the empty places and made them sparkle. Never let you leave."

I smiled like some crazy fool. I wasn't normally so sentimental, he did have a way of kicking me right in the heart though - in his own odd little way.

He bent his head and started trailing his own teasing kisses to my neck, following his determined path across my shoulder and collarbone, his destination blatantly obvious when little rumbles left his chest as he neared my breasts. I chuckled when he seemed reluctant to move any further south and ran my hand through his hair. "I'm okay right here."

He closed his mouth around one nipple and seemed adamant he wasn't letting go. I spread fingers over his shoulders, tracing fading bruises and claw marks from Conall's vengeful wolf - I don't suppose he'd been particularly happy about the nerve damage his hand would be suffering for hours to come.

Lane's lips left my breast for a moment and I unconsciously lifted my chest to follow that mouth.

"You'll dream of...me tonight."

I nodded in response. I wasn't looking forward to it - I didn't want to see that village he'd spoken of, didn't want to watch as he wasted away.

He swallowed loudly, "Don't want you to see...what I've done. If you see that night...your parents, I'm sorry."

I shook my head at his worried face. "Couldn't get rid of me now if you tried."

His smile lit the darkened room, so bright it seemed the sun had chased away the clouds. And then it turned a little unnerving, teeth that gleamed a guarantee. "I'm going to...eat you, witch. Get my fill of peaches."

Silly wolf. Thinking I'd run from that promise.

"Pirate?"

The voice shoved me out of memories, taking the dreams I wanted to stay in and forcing me back to reality. I turned from my vantage point, catching a glimpse of rough male that filled the doorway, before settling my eyes once more on the outside. Watching females as they walked the forest line, children that played their last game in the fading sun. Guards that I knew traveled the grounds outside the wall, even if I’d yet to spot them.The night drew so close, even the stars made their first attempts to brighten the sky. My breath fogged the window, standing too close to the glass and leaving smears for someone else to polish away.

"Yer have tae move from there some time."

Nope. Didn't have to go anywhere but right here.

"Women need some help, roof collapsed on one of their houses. Not much of a fixin' man myself, should probably call someone out fer it."

So he can take the time to tell me but not to make the call himself? Idiot wolf.

"Need a new doctor, last one died in the battle wit' Duncan's mutants. Should call Kendrick - he has two, greedy bastard."

I shrugged, keeping my gaze firmly fixed on the gate that led to the driveway.

"You're the Alpha fer the time bein'. It's what dat bite mark says."

Couldn't he see I was busy right now?

Conall sighed behind me, his frustration leaking out until I felt it beating down on my head. "You're an arsehole."

I blinked at the window in front of me, a short, shocked breath escaping. I whipped my head around and stared at the large man inching his way into the office.

"What? You're bein' an arsehole. Charlie's out lookin', not helpin' much by standin' around starin' into space."

I huffed back at him and kicked the chair next to me, sending it flying across the carpeted floor. "I fed from him, Conall. What if I’ve made him so weak, he couldn't defend himself?"

Conall rolled his eyes at me. "He looked pretty feckin' happy the morning he left. I tink yer gave him a decent send off."

I blushed. Partly anger and partly the embarrassment I'm sure he was going for.

"They'll find him, little pirate. He's a big wolf wit' a big head. Takes a lot to knock it off - trust me, I've tried."

I huffed at Conall, wanting nothing more than to sink back into my thoughts and all I'd seen since the day he'd left, nearly a full week ago. He'd been right - I'd seen every one of the moments that had made Lane the man he was today. The bond pulled the memories and the empath pulled the feelings, like surround sound dreams that swallowed me whole in their story. I saw the young, skinny boy left to wander the woods alone, no sign of the pack or family he must have belonged to. Saw the rush of relief that had built instantly on his face, the second those people had come into view - so sure he’d never be alone again. Saw the terror he tried so hard to hide, a boy who wished himself a man, only so he could have the strength to fight the creatures who'd found him. The years that had turned that boy into some misshapen caricature of the original, bones that pushed through the skin with hunger, eyes that burned wild with fear masking itself as rage. The wolf that forced itself into existence, some glorious angel that had crawled its way through hell to emerge demon. His crazed fight with Carver and Duncan as they released him from that pole, so distorted in his own mind, he'd not understood the wolves were giving him freedom.

Katherine came next - Carver’s mother. A woman who wiped away the dirt and given him food and water. One who'd sat on the floor outside the cell they’d been forced to keep him in, her pristine white trousers staining in the grass, and sung to him until he'd fallen asleep. A woman that, even in his wildest state, he couldn't bring himself to take a swipe at. How she'd washed his hair for him day after day because he couldn't stand the thought of that crawling itch that never seemed to leave him. How she'd refused to allow him to stay quiet and forced him to open his mouth and speak, even if it hurt. How she slowly went from Katherine to mother, even if it was just in his own mind.

His greatest ever accomplishment, was winning a place in Carver's guard. The boy who'd been forgotten, had grown to a wolf impossible to forget. His relationship with Duncan had been unusual. Even though he'd seen Carver as a brother, the Scot spoke a bond to his wolf. Called a silent tune for the animal to respond in kind, some tether that held the two together as thickly as steel.

The years of revenge fell swiftly, some never ending cycle of blood. The rage in the wolf giving a picture of anger the man had only barely felt. Allowing the animal to take his vengeance, giving the man his freedom. The wolf remembered that fateful night, the moment he saw a young girl. The urge to release her into the dark and away from the beast he'd become. I saw the redhead standing in the shadows, eyes covered by gloom, watching the amber eyed animal stop in his tracks and chase the little female away.

His fight with Arya was a flickering moment, one that stood out in colour. To find another wolf that moved on the same tumultuous wave as him, who fell slightly on the other side of normal, and spent an inordinate amount of time dreaming in blood. The betrayal of Duncan burned the wolf inside, had him bashing his cage for a taste of his submission and roaring his wrath to the moon. The man was less bothered, only troubled for the ruination he hadn't foreseen.

The moment he saw me was surprising. I'd imagined hate for the feeder I housed, anger for the fate that played with him. His first thoughts were basic - I was pretty and he wanted a taste. After that it wasn't so much the feeder he hated, more himself for being unable to think past the creatures that broke him. The moment he became mine was the moment I marked the wolf with empath - he saw I was just as shiny on the inside, as I was on the outside.  

I shook my head and balled my fist up, pushing it into my gut and the ache that had started within a day of him leaving. "It doesn't feel right, something's off."

Conall moved further into the room, leaning his bulk against the table, watching me carefully as I rubbed that ache away. "Give Charlie one more day. He can't find him, we'll take your brother and track him ourselves. Leave Carver tae look after this place."

I sighed gratefully. I could not stop the overwhelming panic from trying to take over and smother both the human and the wolf. She danced around in constant agitation, annoyed that I'd dismissed her warnings so far.

"In the meantime, please go deal wit' the females. Arya's been doin' it, " he grimaced. "She is not a people person."

I smiled lightly, imagining Arya's idea of interacting with the pack, and sighed. "Okay, I can do that."

Conall grinned and pushed himself off the desk, his wolf flashing obsidian eyes through his normal green. "Like tae taste a little Scot's meat, been a while since I had me some of that."

I screwed my nose up at him. "You're a little disturbed, Irish."

"Aye." He seemed perfectly content with my observation.

Silence became my newest friend.

I hated most of these women, despised their learned nature to vilify anything that was different. I found diplomacy in my silence though - the ability to ignore all that was wrong with their ideals and encourage what traditions were better. Arya would sit in the corner, snorting at most of the females venturing into the office, her wolf close enough to the surface to leave the weaker ones trembling their way out of the room. I quickly came to the same conclusion as Conall, and gave her the telephone to handle instead.

She did manage to secure a new doctor to arrive within weeks - her conversation with Kendrick consisting of the reply, "I'm pregnant and I'm crazy, do not fuck with me." His laughter boomed through the line at her words and we both wondered on the state of his sanity to find the threatening female so funny. We missed the presence of Tessa, a softness neither of us owned, and sank into duty that rubbed rather than blended.