Ashes To Ashes (Wolf Guard Book 2) (9 page)

There’s something to be said for staring, I found him so overtly disturbing that it wasn’t long before a muffled scream burst from my lips and I grabbed hold of a grinning Ty. I stalked out of the warehouse, trailed by one large blond wolf. A bottle swung in my hand, tipped every few steps to my mouth in efforts to get as blindingly drunk as possible before we faced the pack house. I had two thoughts as we made our way back to the place we'd only just escaped - I'd been just beaten by the crazed stalker behind me, and I was not going down quietly.

Chapter 12

Forty minutes it took to return to the border.

Forty long minutes.

Ty walked quietly at my side, amusement clear in his face as I fidgeted while being stalked like deer to a tiger. He stayed at my back, walking quietly behind me and only disturbing the silence with a question every so often. I found the heavy burn of his eyes on me never left. They traveled from my head all the way down to my feet often enough, but never once left my form. It was some odd combination of disturbing and thrilling, perhaps something to do with the inner conflict I was currently fighting with my wolf. She was very much interested in showing herself to the warrior she felt hunting her backside, I was more concerned with keeping her hidden for now. I didn't trust this Alpha, he had given me no reason to believe that he was in any way innocent of the crimes I so far judged him for and she had secrets to keep, ones not for this man that I doubted so much.

Those eyes flicked along my form once more and I tried very hard to keep the little shivers hidden. Ty already knew enough about my conflicting emotions, much more and it would become beyond awkward, his ability to look inside the soul and draw on those feelings allowed him more liberty with my thoughts than I felt comfortable with.

I caught a hint of confusion from Lane. I didn't see things quite the same way as Ty, but I could glean more than what showed on the surface.

"How did you do it...little witch?"

I glanced around and met with melted steel, "what?"

He grinned that savage smile and it was no less unnerving now then it had been the first time, "Duncan, he's a big wolf...how did you get away?"

I smiled at him, a little bit of that savageness showing in my own flashing teeth. "He underestimated Ty." I glanced at my brother and saw him with an eyebrow raised, wondering maybe if I'd let some of those secrets out so soon. I wouldn't, it was his secret to share and so I deferred to him to answer.

Ty stopped walking and turned to Lane, I saw the slight twitch in the blond's facial muscles that proved his aversion to empaths was alive and well, infecting and simmering the blood that ran violently to each shuddering sinew. Ty's eyes flashed that icy blue and I saw an answering flash in Lane, quick enough to be gone before I whipped my gaze his way - I just missed the Alpha wolf that pushed his way to the surface. "I could show you if you want. Think you can handle it, blondie?"

I rolled my eyes and groaned softly. For once, I'd like to put two men together and not have the competition that follows. I don't think Ty had thought this through completely, it's like waving a steak in front of a starving dog, enticing the animal with a full show of something he craved. It was plainly written on the man's face exactly how much he'd like a reason to kill the feeder that taunted and I had a premonition that eventually those instincts would not be swayed by the mate he pursued. I'd be keeping a close eye on that Alpha - I'd not be losing any more people to this wolf or any other.

"Both of you stop." I turned to face Lane and shivered once more under that hard stare, perhaps I'd give him something, allow him to see part of what made me so different and as a consequence, let go of a little bit of that trust I'd refused to bestow, make one sure step towards that chance I'd offered and hope it wouldn't be dashed under his heavy feet. "We have small abilities, mine is to project feelings onto others." I saw those eyes harden and for a moment I debated continuing but figured a non explanation would only be worse. "I can replicate the most controlling fear and launch it on others, overwhelming their real emotion and debilitating all fight. I've found it takes a particularly strong wolf to be able to see through that false fear and push it aside to continue fighting."

His grey eyes flashed once more, not with wolf but with the man that seemed to be holding onto anger he couldn't control much longer. "Any emotion?"

I shrugged and averted my eyes, for the thousandth time I felt a sense of wrongness in what I was. Since I'd been old enough to comprehend, I'd known I was different and that according to both wolves and empaths, I was something not quite right. It was a cold day in hell though that I'd ever have thought the soul that was to be bound to mine would be just another voice in the crowd condemning my nature. "Most that I've attempted so far." We were feet away from the pack house, I saw most of the remaining members milling about in the large courtyard, women that I'd fought, women that had been part of that torch carrying mob and even some I'd yet to meet. The blond moved so silently, I had no warning of his intent, maybe distracted by the faces that turned towards me in anger, yet again encroaching on their territory, maybe distracted by that small amount of trust I'd so foolishly thought to offer.

A large hand wrapped itself around my throat and I snapped my gaze back to those grey eyes full of uncontrollable rage. As the fist tightened and breathing became almost critical, I finally saw what the man was capable of and exactly how much he was hiding. Not once did I see the wolf rise within his metallic gaze, not once did a growl rumble from his chest. As his grip became bruising and I caught Ty's icy gaze descend from over the blond's shoulder, I had one moment of hard won realization - the wolf had no part in the man's madness, the animal fought and the animal killed, but every ounce of lunacy was the human's numb prison.

Ty wrapped his own hand around Lane's throat, Slightly shorter than the Alpha his snarling mouth reached the blond's ear and icy words to match his glare froze all movement from both. "Release her. Right. Now."

Lane made no indication that he had either heard Ty's words or that the hand around his throat was as uncomfortable as the one around mine was. I caught my brother’s gaze for a minute, he was aware that he was at a disadvantage in this situation - he couldn't use the same ability as he had with Duncan, not with my neck on the line and the unusual responses the Alpha had shown so far. I wouldn't put it beyond Lane to snap my neck as soon as he felt that constriction on his own.

"You working that...on me? Making me...feel this way, feeder? "

The sneer on his words, the blank violence in his eyes was agony to watch. He had in one action and few words proven that his hatred for my nature was buried deep, clinging furiously and cemented in solidly - trapping the man in such blinding indignation that clouds covered his sun and pollution tainted the very air he breathed. And in this sorrow I wallowed, consumed by spoil and extinguished by such decayed loathing that in this truthful face I disappeared under thoughtless disgust.

I think my eyes filled with tears, I'd like to think it was a reaction to my struggling breath although in my heart that hurt like something had been stolen from it, I couldn't lie. A flicker in that hardened grey broke the rage that overcame, for a second it almost looked as though fire was overtaking silver.

Ty's voice was clear in the silence that shook the deadened forest line, "only as a wolf, Alpha." A sneer to match Lane's own. "She can't force anything in human form." His hand tightened so forcefully on the throat in his grip that Lane's skin burned red beneath it and contrasted to Ty's bloodless fingers. "Now release her."

I was unsure what broke the grip on my throat, perhaps Ty's words registered, maybe it was the shout from the pack house and Conall's footsteps that pounded the frosted ground. I looked towards the house when I could take a proper breath once more and saw the Irishman in a furious run towards us, a gathering of sly female wolves smirking at the scene they'd witnessed. I sighed deeply and rebuilt the wall that Lane had managed to crumble to easily, the pack took their cues from the Alpha and now I'd have more conflicts in front of me then one wolf should have to deal with.

"Sasha..."

I turned to the blond wolf, his hands held in out with palms up, shaking as he looked at those large paws. Such destruction he was capable of and yet it should be his choice on what path those hands took. I said nothing to his call, I felt nothing behind my wall of bricks - built on solid foundations of mistrust and too much dirt constantly flung my way. In the light of a broken soul connection, I was done with the Alpha that couldn't see past his own buried demons. "No. From now on you'll answer my questions, you'll give us the help we came here for and then you'll leave me the fuck alone."

Conall sprinted past me at the end of my sentence, he flew at Lane and aimed a punch without holding back that landed true on the blond's face. Lane made no attempt to block the hit and not once returned a swing. The Irishman landed a few more as the Alpha grunted with each strike.

"What the feck, Lane?"

Ty melted behind me, a swift and silent move that always surprised me in it's quietness. I grabbed his arm when I saw a worrying amount of malevolence on his granite face, he no doubt felt a need to join in on Conall's party but I refused to have any more reason to hate the Alpha - he'd done enough damage.

Conall's heavy breathing shot his words from his mouth, "get your shite together, yer aren't a young boy any more."

Lane's grey eyes locked on Conalls, a haunted expression paling his face. "I thought..."

Conall interrupted, "Yeah I know what yer thought. Like I said, get it together."

"Hey, Irish." Ty called from beside me as I stared at the ground rubbing the redness left behind from Lane's grip. It would be fine in minutes, my healing ability exceeding that of a normal wolf, but it was the act that hurt more than any marks left behind. "How about we grab a drink? Sure Sash could use one right now."

He slid green eyes my way and smiled, "come on, pirate. I'll tell yer some stories while we get shite-faced."

I nodded and took a deep breath, I appreciated the two men beside me, a little bit of backup on my way through the hostility of pack females. I left the Alpha staring after me, that haunted expression never leaving his face. His chance dashed beneath feet that slaughtered, hope cracked around hands that destroyed. 

My soul soured, putrefied in it's rotten ruin. In the aftermath I fell back on the same path that comforted, one filled with pillows of vengeance and a hard mattress of validation.

I'd be more than this broken bond and I'd find my salvation in something other than destiny.

Chapter 13

"He wasn't tinking quite right yer know."

No, I didn't think he was. Thing is, it didn't really matter. If there was one person almost guaranteed not to hurt you - it should be the man tied to your soul. I'd had enough of hurt, enough of the people who saw evil simply on the basis of different and enough of feeling second class to a species who saw themselves as the top of the food chain. I'd spent a long time resenting both parts of me. The wolf for not being sufficient and the feeder for even existing.

"Isn't so much about yer, more about his own childhood. I know he deserves a beatin' and I'm sure you'll give dat tae him just, let him explain his own reasons. Can yer do dat?"

Probably not. I'd listen to his explanation I suppose, but I can't imagine what would make a man ignore his instincts enough to hurt his mate, and how often do you forgive that? would it become some self destructive cycle that would end up with him taking his female down with him? I don't think I'm built to stick around for such doom, I'm more of a self serving individual - well, I suppose duel serving if you included Ty. This is how I was born and nurtured, a single soul bursting into light to a world full of addiction and neglect. You learn quickly how to fend for yourself and you learn quickly how to put yourself before others, survival is a selfish game and I had more endurance than most. Females were vicious creatures, taking their vengeance as easily and remorselessly as breathing. Deep within the ever shifting lights, a parade of flashing colours that made up the beauty of the wolf’s soul, I was more than aware of my own failings in this bond. The wolf whispered words of hypocrite on a growl of disgust. I was a different package though - one that easily bled my own mistakes away on rivers of sweet denial.

"Yer not talkin', pirate?"

I huffed a small laugh, seems as though that nickname was staying for good. Conall refilled my glass, rum in its finest state - dark wood in colour and straight up. Ty had gone to the room he'd been in last time, leaving me in Conall's care with a warning to the Irishman to keep his hands to himself. They'd found some common ground in the last few hours, now it was more words than any real antagonism between the two. I took a sip and hummed in appreciation, a pure burn that heats and chases away a chill that settles. "I'm talking, just thinking for a while."

He got a little devilish smirk that stretched obscenely across his face, "If yer tinkin' about torturin' the lad, I've got a few ideas." A small tick in his facial muscles was slightly worrying, he lent forward and whispered conspiratorially, "I'm very good, wit' knives."

My eyes widened slightly and I nodded slowly at him in return, "that's a lovely offer, Conall. I'll be sure to keep it in mind."

He sat back with a satisfied sigh. I appreciated his suggestion, however I think I'd leave that to a last resort.

Lane had yet to enter the house, I was glad for the space and yet I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing, a twitching need from the animal that begged for his attention. I'd survived worse needs though, ones that gnawed at organs and twisted in deathly urgency. This, I could live with.

"Tell me, pirate. Where yer been all this time?"

I shrugged and raised a questioning eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

Conall took a long sip of some awful smelling whiskey, something highly combustible no doubt. "You're not pack and you've got no family but the boy. Seems odd is all, especially a female wolf, not many males be happy tae know yer been unprotected."

I snorted out a laugh, "You're living in the dark ages, Irish. No such thing any more. The last Alpha was too concerned with his own power to worry about a female, especially one like me. Besides we've moved around a lot in the last twenty years."

We sat in the kitchen, the large aga on high with something smelling strongly of herbs finishing off in the cast iron cooker and producing a serious amount of heat throughout the room in the process. Every so often, one of the females would walk through, grab something from the huge double fridge and leave again. A little smile on their faces for Conall and a sneer of distaste for me - it was getting rather annoying. I grumbled lowly when the latest in the string of them left with nothing more than bottled water.

Conall laughed loudly in the otherwise quiet house. "Looks like yer got some new friends."

I frowned at him, "Yeah, if wanting to see someone dead is friendship."

He peered at me curiously, "yer had run-ins wit' these females?"

I shrugged back at him, "I told you they already knew what we were, hard to hide when we grew up in Charlestown."

Conall frowned, "Yer grew up here?"

"Yes, my parents lived here. When they died, we stayed in the territory." I laughed a little bitterly, "we were kids, didn't have anywhere to go and for one incredibly stupid moment we actually thought the pack might take us in, we were idiots."

"Where did yer live."

I smiled at him, "in the woods, not far from here actually. We learned to hunt, stole what we couldn't get for free."

Conall cocked his head to the side, "you're an angry pirate."

I clinked my glass with his, "a very angry pirate."

I caught a glimpse of a wolf's broad shoulders as they past the kitchen window. A huge wolf - one who's head was higher than the pane and hidden behind the brick outside wall. Dark skin of almost metallic grey and a smattering of fine hair just about invisible on the solid muscles that contoured each bicep. Looks like the Alpha didn't go too far at all.

Conall chuckled into his glass, "he'll be out there all night, won't go too far wit' yer in here wit' me."

I wasn't too happy with the wolf either right now, it was becoming increasingly hard to decide what part of the man was the killer. "Hope he freezes his balls off out there." Unlikely with the animal’s hot blood but it felt good to say.

"I'm sure he appreciates your concern."

I grinned at Conall, I just could not keep the frown on my face around him.

"Yer know who killed your parents?" His face locked on mine.

"I know the wolf. Was there the night he forced his way in, came downstairs to their screams as he ripped them apart with his claws. I'd know those amber eyes anywhere."

Conall snorted, "could be anyone, how the hell yer tink you're goin' tae find him?"

I screwed my face up and pointed to my own eyes, "there aren't that many wolves with this colour around."

"No there ain't, but dat doan't mean anyting if yer can't see the beast."

I was a little lost in our conversation, "don't have to, just find the man with the same eyes and I've found the wolf right?"

Conall grinned, "Ach, you've been missing vital information, little pirate. Not all wolves have the eyes of their human cages."

I sat stunned for a while, "of course they have."

He shook his head at my confusion. "Not if they doan't fuse together properly. Some young'uns been known tae mature separate from the animal, forms two entities instead of one fluid soul. Trauma bad enough, they doan't blend right, end up wit' a broken connection. Most are able tae bond later in life but it leaves them wit' differences to what they'd normally have." He grinned widely, "me for example, my wolf has black eyes, evil little beggar he is."

I groaned, "well fuck."

Conall laughed, "yeah, yer been lookin’ at it all skewed."

I downed my entire glass of rum, finally admitting all-out failure on that killing wolf. I sighed as I got an instant refill and held Conall's emerald gaze, "if I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?"

He flashed his teeth and raised his glass, "silly pirate, we good friends now,"

I narrowed my eyes and hoped that meant I'd get an honest answer. "The empaths in town, did he kill them?"

He tapped a finger on the edge of his glass and hummed, "yer goin' tae kill him if I say yes?"

I held his stare and tapped my own glass, "maybe, does it make a difference?"

Teeth flashed a glaring white."Just makin' sure I got front row seats fer dat show."

I grinned back and waved a hand for him to carry on.

"Doan't know. Perhaps, he's certainly crazy enough."

I managed to hold my laugh at the Irishman calling the Alpha crazy - a little bit of the pot calling the kettle.

"Normally a reason fer his kind of crazy though, can't see the logic behind killin' them."

I frowned at him, "he tried strangling Ty when he saw him, there was no real reason for that."

Conall grinned, "Oh he was just playin', claws didn't even come out. Besides, boy was too close tae yer."

If that was playing I didn't want to see serious.

The wolf passed the window again, as if he paced the length of the house and back again. Conall stood to open the oven and I was hit with a blast of heat and herbs, hunger came roaring through the slow warmth of alcohol. The night was a shimmering black, stars twinkling their presence in an otherwise raven tomb. It's a wonder how small we are in comparison, how large we think our problems, how insignificant each of us really is. Perhaps I was always made to be here, perhaps this is just the start of a twisting game, one that's waiting on more players to truly begin. Maybe I was looking at this all wrong, it was certainly a simple solution to blame Lane for deaths based solely on his scent. To become so fully focused on one angle only limits the possibilities, forces the mind to forget everything else and take the best fitting solution. Maybe it's time I opened my mind a little.

Conall stepped to the window and peered out at the wolf pacing with heavy footfalls back and fore, a sentry guarding the side wall and a huntsman unwilling to lose his prey. The Irishman let out a mildly disturbing, full belly, booming laugh. I stared at his back for long minutes as he continued openly laughing while watching the Alpha.

"You okay, Conall?" It was said with a straight face but inside I was seriously questioning allowing him to drink anymore of that whiskey.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine." He chuckled a little more, "fate and her games." He shook his head and turned to look at me with sparkling eyes. "She's a wicked bitch dat one."