Asperger Diaries: Jamie's New School (15 page)

Monday isn’t
far away now. I’m dreading it. At least Jamie has sorted his
presentation out, even if it is still on the long side. Lesley was
her usual helpful self. She said he would bore the other kids to
death if he did a presentation about trams. I’m worried she might
be right.

*****

Lesley's
Journal

A presentation
on trams - YAWN!!

28th October
(Friday)

Jamie's
Diary

It’s the last
day of the holiday. I told mum that her ‘one hour a day’ plan had
failed. It’s her fault that I had to spend most of today finishing
off my homework. I ran through my presentation a few more times. I
hope that I have done it right, and that the teacher didn’t want me
to do it on the computer. It will be his fault if I have done it
wrong because he didn’t give me proper instructions.

I hope Adam
Devlin leaves me alone when I go back to school. I don’t know why
some kids have to be nasty. It isn’t fair to pick on people.

*****

Angela's
Diary

I feel in limbo
now. I’ve started the ball rolling with the G.P., but that is going
to take some time. In the meantime Jamie is back at school on
Monday. He has been so much brighter this week.

He had a moan
at me earlier. Apparently it was my fault that he had to spend most
of today doing homework. I’m not sure why, and I didn’t ask. At
least we have talked this week. It was great to see him so happy on
Tuesday when we went to Sheffield. It has to be the school which is
causing him to be so unhappy. If he is okay during the holiday what
else can it be?

I’ve done a lot
of thinking over the last few days. I keep remembering some of the
little things which Jamie has done over the years. At the time we
chalked them up to his quirkiness. It’s only now, I start to see
how far from the norm we have drifted. At nursery, he would often
play by himself. He was never invited to other kids’ birthday
parties, and he wasn't interested in having one of his own. He
always preferred to have a day out somewhere. He has always had a
thing about routine. Even the slightest change to his routine can
upset him. Food is another thing. He has always been picky over
what he will eat. Then of course there are his ‘special interests’.
For as far back as I can remember, he has had an obsession of one
type or another.

29th October
(Saturday)

Jamie's
Diary

The holiday is
over. Weekends don’t count as a holiday. I had a stomach ache
today. I might not be well enough to go to school on Monday. Mum
said I will be better by then. I don’t know how she can know. I ran
through my presentation again today. I can’t remember it all, but
mum said I will be able to refer to notes.

*****

Angela's
Diary

I can already
see the change in Jamie, and there’s still another day to go before
he is back at school. He’s really short with me every time I try to
speak to him. He is really worried about having to do the
presentation.

30th October
(Sunday)

Jamie's
Diary

I’m poorly.

*****

Angela's
Diary

I’m not sure I
will get Jamie to school tomorrow. He didn’t get out of bed today
until the afternoon. He said he felt poorly, and had a stomach
ache. Edith was over here again today. She made things worse by
rattling on about how Jamie is always ill because we don’t give him
the right kind of food. She doesn’t have the first clue about what
Jamie is going through at school.

When Jamie did
eventually get up, he said he still had a stomach ache, but he
wanted to practice his presentation. I almost know the damn thing
word for word.

31st October
(Monday)

Jamie's
Diary

Hardly any of
the other kids had prepared a proper presentation. Most of them had
forgotten all about it, and hadn’t prepared anything. The teacher
just said they must try to remember next time. Even those who had
prepared a presentation, spoke for only two or three minutes on
really boring subjects like Arsenal Football Club, The X Factor or
Eastenders. Only two of them had bothered to bring any pictures to
use in their presentation. I had only been speaking for five
minutes, when the teacher told me that my time had run out. Adam
Devlin shouted that my presentation was boring. The teacher told
him to be quiet. The teacher should have explained exactly what he
wanted us to do. If I had known that I only had to speak for five
minutes, and didn’t need any pictures, it would have been much
easier.

Adam Devlin
tried to steal my bag at break time, but Mr Peters saw him and told
him off. I went into Mr Peters’ office and we talked about trams
again. He asked me about my visit to the doctor. I don’t know how
he knew about that. I said it had been a waste of time because the
doctor hadn’t even looked at my stomach. I didn’t eat my sandwiches
at lunch time because my stomach was hurting again. I threw them
into the bin, so mum wouldn’t know I hadn’t eaten them.

*****

Angela's
Diary

I wish the
teachers would tell Jamie exactly what they want him to do. He was
fretting all last week about the presentation. From what he said,
it sounds as though most of the other kids didn’t even bother to
prepare anything. He was in Joe Peters' office again today, so he
was a bit brighter for that. I think Jamie’s stomach ache must be a
little better because he ate all his dinner in double quick time
this evening.

I ignored the
knocks at the door tonight. I hadn’t bought any sweets, so I guess
I will have to put up with whatever mess the trick or treaters
decide to leave behind.

NOVEMBER

1st November
(Tuesday)

Jamie's
Diary

I don’t think
mum should have made me go to school because I felt sick. I’m not
going to go to school tomorrow, if I still feel poorly, because it
is P.E. I can’t do P.E. with a stomach ache.

I got full
marks in my French test. No one else did. The geography teacher
wasn’t very pleased because a few kids hadn’t completed their
project on erosion. I handed mine in. I wonder if this one will be
‘Good’ or ‘Very Good’.

I wanted mum to
help me with my English homework tonight, but she went out
somewhere. She is always out these days

.

*****

Angela's
Diary

Two days in,
and I am already having to battle to get Jamie to school. He didn’t
want to get out of bed this morning. He said he felt sick, and had
a stomach ache. I didn’t know what to do for the best. I made him
get up, and go to school. Thankfully he didn’t make a scene when we
arrived at school.

I met Joe
Peters at the same coffee shop during his lunch break. He told me
he had caught a boy trying to take Jamie’s bag yesterday. He said I
should push the school to offer Jamie help ahead of the formal
diagnosis. He was worried things might begin to spiral if I didn’t.
I told him about Jamie’s stomach aches. He said his daughter had
had similar problems. He thought the stomach ache was most likely
due to stress. Joe said he wasn’t over optimistic that I would get
anywhere with the school, but that I should try anyway. He had been
through similar battles some years ago, and in the end had given
up. He took Helen out of school altogether. I couldn’t imagine
home-educating Jamie. I have no teaching experience. I wouldn’t
know where to begin. I feel so stupid. I don’t even know what I
want the school to do. Joe suggested I start by requesting
relatively simple provisions which they could put in place fairly
easily. He gave me a few ideas: a quiet place for Jamie to go to at
break times, for Jamie to be allowed to leave a class if he begins
to get too stressed, and to be given clear instructions for all his
work. Joe said I should also get a reassurance that a close watch
would be kept to ensure he isn’t being bullied. I’ve made yet
another appointment to see the headmaster. I sensed a bit of an
attitude from his secretary when I telephoned. I think it was the
way she emphasised the word ‘another’ when she confirmed she had
set up a meeting for tomorrow.

Jamie didn’t
say a word, from the time I collected him from school, until
halfway through dinner. Even then, it was only to bite my head off
when I tried to talk to him.

2nd November
(Wednesday)

Jamie's
Diary

I didn’t want
to go to school this morning because I still had a stomach ache and
a headache. Mum said I had to go. I missed registration because I
was in the coffee shop with mum. The headmaster met us, and said I
wouldn’t get into trouble if I went with him to my first lesson. He
took me to my maths class, and told the teacher that I was late
because I had been with him. I arrived in time to do a trigonometry
test. I got full marks.

I had to do
P.E. even though I told the teacher I was feeling sick.

*****

Angela's
Diary

My meeting with
the headmaster was at 9.45am, so I had planned to get a coffee
after dropping Jamie off. I couldn’t see the point in coming back
home only to turn around, and go straight back to school.

Things didn’t
quite work out. Jamie had another one of his sessions at the school
gate. He wouldn’t get out of the car, no matter what I said or did.
To make matters worse, it was pouring with rain. All of the time I
was trying to persuade him to get out of the car, I was getting
wetter and wetter. I looked like a drowned rat. He wasn’t having
any of it, so I took him to the coffee shop with me. I was fuming.
We didn't speak. When it was almost time for my meeting with the
headmaster, I telephoned ahead, and explained I couldn’t get Jamie
into school. The headmaster relayed a message, through his
secretary, to say I should drive up the school driveway, and he
would meet me next to the main school doors. Jamie still hadn’t
spoken by the time the headmaster came out to meet us. I got out
the car, and explained what had happened earlier. The headmaster
went around to Jamie’s side of the car, and had a few words with
him. A couple of minutes later Jamie followed the headmaster into
the school. I was left standing there feeling like a complete
idiot.

The meeting was
terrible. Once again, the headmaster insinuated the problem was all
of my making. He took great pleasure in telling me that he hadn’t
had a problem getting Jamie into school, and that Jamie was sitting
happily in his maths class. I could see his gaze kept drifting up
to my sopping wet hair which was plastered to my head. He didn’t
say as much, but I could tell he thought he was dealing with some
kind of deranged woman. I ploughed on, and told him about the
referral, and the provisions I wanted for Jamie. He said the
referral would be a waste of time. He had seen A.S. before, and
Jamie didn’t have it. And he said he could see no possible reasons
to put the provisions in place when Jamie was doing well, and was
so obviously happy.

Before I knew
it, I was being ushered out. I drove home in a daze.

When I
collected Jamie, I wanted to shout at him for making me look so
stupid. He looked so sad that I couldn’t bring myself to say
anything.

3rd November
(Thursday)

Jamie's
Diary

I didn’t do my
homework last night because my headache was too bad.

*****

Angela's
Diary

I didn’t
realise, until this morning, that Jamie hadn’t done his homework
last night. He said he had been too poorly. He got himself worked
up into a terrible state this morning because he was terrified that
he would get into trouble at school. I said I would give him a note
explaining why he hadn’t done his homework. He was almost
hysterical. I wasn’t prepared to risk another meltdown outside the
school, so I said he could stay at home today. I telephoned the
school to tell them that he had picked up a stomach bug, and would
be in on Monday.

Jackie
telephoned. She sounded so bright and breezy I wanted to strangle
her. She asked me around to her place for coffee, but I said I
couldn’t go because Jamie was ill. I couldn’t bear the thought of
her telling me what a great time Michael is having at
Armthorpe.

Jamie has been
in his bedroom all day. I took him his meals on a tray. He was on
the computer most of the day. I thought it would be best to let him
have a complete rest, and hope that by Monday he will be ready to
go back.

4th November
(Friday)

Jamie's
Diary

My headache is
better today, but I still have a stomach ache.

*****

Angela's
Diary

I telephoned
the consultant’s office today to see if I could get any idea of
when Jamie’s appointment might be. They couldn’t give me a date,
but warned I should expect anything up to an eight week wait.

I have informed
Andrew I don’t want Edith coming over here this Sunday. I don’t
think he was very pleased, but he can suit himself.

5th November
(Saturday)

Jamie's
Diary

I have never
liked bonfire night. When I was younger, mum and dad took me and
Lesley to a firework display at the local park. I couldn’t stand
the sound of the fireworks, so I made mum bring me home. Dad stayed
with Lesley. I usually watch the rockets from my bedroom window.
Mum bought me a toffee apple and some bonfire toffee. I love
bonfire toffee. One of the neighbours set off loads of fireworks
tonight. Most of them were bangers. I put my earplugs in, but I
could still hear them.