Assumed Engagement (9 page)

He stuffed his hands in his pocket and suddenly felt the handkerchief. He pulled it out and put it again to his face, savouring the gentle scent. He felt confused, anxious, irritated; he did not know what all else. Not knowing why, his only response was to call for his valet, "
Durnham
, come in here!"

Durnham
came in immediately and Darcy was at a loss for words. He needed to bark some command at him, but knew not what he wanted. He greatly desired for him to fix things, make him stronger, make him think clearer. "Bring me some coffee!" was all he was able to say. "And make it strong!"

As
Elizabeth
ran out of the room towards the staircase, she encountered Jane and Charles.

Charles approached her with a wide grin on his face. "Oh Miss Elizabeth, we have the most wonderful news!"

Elizabeth
nodded and said, "Yes, it
is
good news that Mr. Darcy has finally awakened. He is in his study."

"Oh yes, that! But
we
also have some good news! I am going to go in and inform Darcy right away. Your sister shall tell you!"

Charles walked away and
Elizabeth
smiled at her sister, who was also beaming. "He proposed,
Lizzy
. Charles and I are to be married!"

Elizabeth
wrapped her arms about her sister in a big hug. "I am so happy for you Jane! This could not have come at a better time!"

"Why do you say that?" she asked.

"Because in that study is a man who is very angry with me and upstairs is his sister who probably will never trust me again." Tears ran down
Elizabeth
's cheeks. "I fear we shall probably have to leave
Pemberley
, at the latest tomorrow."

Jane saw that her sister was visibly upset and took her hand. "
Elizabeth
, what happened?"

Through her tears, she quickly relayed what had happened; how devastated Miss Darcy became when she discovered the truth about
Elizabeth
and her brother.

"I was just on my way to her room now to try to talk with her. But I fear that it would be best if we leave
Pemberley
. We should probably begin to get our things in order and make arrangements to return to Longbourn as soon as possible."

Elizabeth
leaned over and kissed her sister on her cheek, and whispered, "I am so happy for you!" She then pulled away and said, "I must go now to see Georgiana."

Elizabeth
took the stairs quickly, praying for the right words to say. She came to Georgiana's door and lightly knocked. "Georgiana, it is
Elizabeth
, please may I talk with you?"

There was no answer. "Please, Georgiana, I wish to talk with you; may I please come in?"

Slowly the door opened, and
Elizabeth
was taken aback at the condition of the young girl. Her face was flushed and her hair dishevelled. She was shaking and unable to mutter anything intelligible. She was so completely distraught that
Elizabeth
felt all she could do was put her arms around her and take her in her arms.

Elizabeth
held the girl gently, taking her back over to her bed, and they sat down. Neither was able to say anything as they both allowed their tears to fall. Eventually
Elizabeth
gathered herself and whispered, "I am so sorry, Georgiana. You must allow me to explain."

Elizabeth
felt the girl tense and try to pull away. "Please, you must believe me when I say that I did not mean to hurt you by not telling you about your brother and me. I did not know how to tell you and you believed so strongly that my being here would help him recover. I could not break the news to you until we were more confident of his recovery."

Elizabeth
drew herself from the girl and looked at her. "Look at me, Georgiana. I would never intentionally hurt you."

Through sobs, Georgiana rasped, "I do not understand."

"I cannot excuse myself for what I did, but I at least want you to know why."

Georgiana looked at her.
Elizabeth
did not even know where to begin, but she had to begin somewhere. "When you wrote to me, telling me of your brother's accident, I was not aware that you believed us engaged. What you did was based on what you believed to be true from your brother’s letter. You had no reason to doubt that I had accepted his offer. You acted in a compassionate, thoughtful way, desiring to inform me of his condition."

Georgiana shook her head. "No, I acted impulsively; it was immature. I have let my brother down again."

"Please do not believe that, Georgiana! You were thinking of him! He cannot think ill of you for this!"

"My brother is so angry with me, I cannot bear this again!"

"Trust me. He is not angry with you. If he is angry with anyone, it is me."

"But Eliz… Miss
Bennet
, I still do not understand." She looked at her with great anguish in her face. "I just do not understand."

Elizabeth
did not know how else to explain her actions to the young girl. She felt inconsolable that her actions led to Georgiana's present state. How she wished she could turn back the clock and make things right. "I would do anything to change the decision I made not to tell you. Please forgive me."

Georgiana looked at her through her tear-filled eyes. "But I do not understand…
why
did you refuse my brother's offer of marriage?"

Elizabeth
looked down and took in a deep breath. Of course this young girl would not understand! What was she to say?
Elizabeth
took one of Georgiana's hands in both of hers. "There were several reasons. The first was actually a misunderstanding between the two of us that has since been cleared up. At the time I felt he had acted unjustly. The other reason is because he did something that I found very difficult to forgive."

Georgiana looked at her questioningly. "What was it he did?"

Elizabeth
answered in a very soft voice. "He purposefully tried to separate Jane from Mr. Bingley when he began to suspect that his friend was close to proposing. He then persuaded him to abandon any thought of marriage to her by claiming she held no regard for him, when indeed she did."

Georgiana looked at her in astonishment. "I cannot believe my brother would do such a thing! Why, anyone can see how happy Jane and Charles are together! Are you quite certain he did that?"

"Yes. He admitted it to me himself. I felt I could not marry a man who would hurt my sister in such a way; have so little regard for her." She brought her face close to Georgiana's. "When you wrote to me, I agreed to come, along with Jane, so they could see each other again. If Mr. Bingley did indeed still have affections for her, this would give them another chance to find out. And do you know what has happened? He made an offer just this morning and Jane accepted! If you had not written that letter to us, this may never have occurred!"

Elizabeth
tried to smile, hoping that this would soothe Georgiana. Her crying stopped, but her breathing was still interspersed with spasms of deep, short breaths.

Elizabeth
reached into her pocket for her handkerchief to wipe Georgiana's eyes. She was surprised when she could not find it.
I must go look for it later
, she thought to herself.

Georgiana eventually calmed down a bit and
Elizabeth
breathed a sigh of relief. "Georgiana, I think you must go down and talk this through with your brother. I know he harbours no ill feelings towards you."
Only towards me!

"Will you accompany me?" she asked.

"No, I am afraid I must get my things in order in preparation to leave."

"You are not leaving?"

"Yes, I think we must," answered
Elizabeth
. "I think it would be best. Take some time to freshen up and then go down there and talk with him. Besides," she smiled, "He is too weak to do anything too terrible!"

Elizabeth
left Georgiana, feeling confident that she had been able to set things right with her. She knew, however, that to set things right with Mr. Darcy, it would take a major miracle.

*~*~*

After
Elizabeth
had rushed from the study, Darcy put his head back against the chair feeling emotionally and physically drained. He did not have the strength to reason what had taken place or why. He did not know if the anger he felt now was directed against himself or Elizabeth.

He wished to be able to think more clearly, but all he felt capable of doing this moment was to close his eyes and fall asleep. Much to his chagrin, the door burst open and Bingley marched in.

"Darcy," greeted Bingley with a wide grin, "Welcome back to the land of the living!"

"Bingley," nodded Darcy as he steeled himself for Bingley's exuberant personality. He was certainly not in any sort of frame of mind for it.

"You had us genuinely worried! How good it is that you are yourself again!"

"Not quite myself, I assure you."

"Uh, yes, well…" Bingley looked down, seemingly at a loss for words. Darcy waited a bit, surprised by this uncharacteristic silence. Bingley began wringing his hands together and looked several times as if he was going to say something, but then stopped. Darcy took advantage of this time to try to settle down, catch his breath, and focus his mind.

Bingley finally found the words he was looking for. "Darcy, I have something to tell you, and I do not want you to be upset. The doctor advised us not to upset you. So I am telling you in advance to remain calm."

Darcy looked up at him suspiciously.

Bingley took a deep breath. "Just a little while ago… I asked Miss Jane
Bennet
for her hand in marriage. And she accepted!" He gave him a nervous smile, and stepped back, as if anticipating some extreme response from his friend.

Instead, Darcy remained very cool. "Congratulations, Bingley. I am happy for you."

Bingley looked at him in amazement. "You are? Well, thank you, Darcy. I appreciate your congratulations and want to assure you that I am very happy too! But you look tired; I will not keep you any longer. I just wished to inform you  of that and to let you know how glad I am you have come back to us!"

"Thank you, Bingley. I appreciate that."

With that, Bingley quickly backed out of the room and rejoined Jane, who informed him of the things
Elizabeth
shared; that they would most likely be departing in the morning.

Darcy closed his eyes and as sleep became increasingly hard to refuse, he slipped his hand back into his pocket and grasped the embroidered handkerchief, holding on to it as if it were some sort of lifeline to his complete recovery and sanity.

Chapter 7

G
eorgiana rinsed her face and straightened her hair and clothes to ready herself to go to the study. She could do nothing about her red eyes, but felt that
Elizabeth
was right. She needed to go talk things through with her brother.

She was anxious to get back to him; to stay by his side and look after him. She was still not convinced, however, that he was not angry with her. When she came to his study, the door was slightly ajar and she pushed it open.

Darcy was still in his chair, his head back and his eyes staring vacantly at the ceiling. He held a cup of coffee with one hand and had his other hand in the pocket of his robe. When he heard her step in, he looked up and smiled.

"Come in,
Georgie
." He had not called her that special term of endearment for a long time. She had lately wondered whether he thought that she was too grown up to be called that anymore. But by his using it again, it reassured her and did what it was intended to do – endear her to him.

She approached him and knelt on the floor at his feet, laying her head against his knee. "I am sorry for running out on you earlier." Her eyes began to well up with tears again, and Darcy reached down and put his arms around her.

"No, please forgive me." He stroked her head and gently said, "I am afraid I am not quite myself and was more concerned earlier about trying to understand what you were saying than I was concerned for your feelings. I am afraid I was severely abrupt."

"I did not mean to distress you, especially in your condition. I should never have interfered in your personal situation by inviting Miss Elizabeth to
Pemberley
."

Darcy took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Georgiana, there was no way for you to have known what happened after I wrote you that letter. If anyone is at fault, it is I, for writing too prematurely. I had an arrogant presumption that I would be accepted by her. I was wrong."

Georgiana looked with great wonder at the expression on his face, seeing great pain. She knew it hurt deeply to have to discuss this. There was more to this situation between him and Elizabeth than either of them was willing to share, but because she felt he was still so physically weak and this line of conversation was taxing on him, she decided to let the subject drop… for a while at least. She was content to stay at his side while he rested and she pondered what could be done to remedy this state of affairs. She had a curious conviction that her brother and Elizabeth belonged together.

*~*~*

Elizabeth
returned to her room to begin packing. She had a diversity of feelings about leaving
Pemberley
. She regretted leaving Georgiana, but wanted to be out of Mr. Darcy’s presence as soon as possible. She knew from this last encounter and what had happened previously between them that his regard for her certainly must have dwindled to nothing. How he must congratulate himself that she had not accepted him and that he was not bound to her in any way. Yet knowing he felt this way did not sit well with her.

She knew Pemberley’s servants would be willing to pack for her, but she chose to do it herself. At the moment, she wanted the solitude of her room and its refuge. As she proceeded to gather her things, she realized her hands were shaking. If she had known how these few days would have turned out, she never would have agreed to come. Yet how could she regret the friendship that had developed between her and Georgiana? And she certainly could not regret Jane’s and Charles’ engagement.

She went to the dressing table and picked up her personal items and put them in her small bag. She picked up her bottle of toilet water and carefully tucked it inside, guarding that it would not turn over and spill. The sight of it reminded her that she needed to go looking for her handkerchief. Where had she last used it? At the moment she could not remember.

After lingering as long as she could in the room,
Elizabeth
decided to venture out and join Jane so they could make plans to leave on the morrow. She opened the door and was grateful no one was around. She carefully walked down the stairs, keeping an eye open for her sister. With each step she took down the staircase, her heart beat a little faster, knowing she was drawing closer to Mr. Darcy.

When she came to the bottom of the stairs, her gaze went directly towards the study, as if to make sure he was not about to walk through those doors. The door was slightly closed and she wondered if Georgiana had gone in to talk with him.

She walked over to the sitting room and found Jane and Bingley talking. Jane stood up quickly and reached out her hands to
Elizabeth
. "We saw Georgiana walk to the study. Did your talk with her assuage her distress?"

"I hope so. I cannot believe the mess I have made of things!"

"Miss Elizabeth," chimed in Bingley. "We all had a part in the decision to delay telling Georgiana the truth for a time. It was not solely your fault. I am as much to blame as you."

Elizabeth
smiled. "We may all have made the decision, Mr. Bingley, but I fear that based on my history with Mr. Darcy, he is placing most of the fault, if not all, on me."

"Yes, your history with Darcy… That is something that has me completely baffled!" Bingley admitted. "When your sister told me of his proposal to you, I must confess I was completely astonished. In all that time we spent together, he never let on to me how he felt! In fact, he… well, I was surprised."

"I must admit I was completely caught by surprise, as well. But that is in the past, and I think it would be prudent if I be gone from here as soon as it can be arranged."

"
Lizzy
, surely he can be made to understand," Jane suggested.

"Possibly, someday. But until then, I think it would be best if we leave. I have begun packing and I was just about to inform Mrs. Reynolds or Winston so further arrangements can be made for our departure first thing in the morning."

"Oh how I do wish you would stay!" Bingley entreated. "But I know it probably is best. Your family is most likely anxious for you to return home. I shall look forward to my returning to
Netherfield
within the week and visiting Longbourn to talk to your father about my offer of marriage!" He looked at Jane and grinned and she returned one back to him.

Elizabeth
remembered the reason she had come down and said, "I think I shall go see about our plans for our departure tomorrow. If you will excuse me."

She left them and walked toward the dining room and kitchen area, where she thought she would find Mrs. Reynolds. When she was not there, she inquired from the kitchen staff and they informed her she was outside.

Elizabeth
went out to look for her, and as she did, her heart was gripped with a strong pang of regret. As she looked around, she realized how much she would miss this place. How she had enjoyed the few walks through these fine grounds that she had stolen; how almost every window in the house afforded a splendid view; and the house itself
Elizabeth
considered very fine.

Instead of finding Mrs. Reynolds, she encountered Winston. She informed him of their desire to leave first thing in the morning and he assured her that it would be no difficulty; that the carriage would be available to take them to Lambton. From there he would make arrangements for them to hire a carriage that would take them home. He then let her know how much he regretted their leaving and hoped that they would return someday soon.

As
Elizabeth
walked back, she shook her head. Perhaps her sister might grace these grounds again, being married to Mr. Darcy’s good friend, but she most likely would not. With that thought, she decided to take one last walk. It would be a few hours yet before the sun set and as she had nothing to do in the house, felt a walk would be the best thing for her.

As she walked down one path, she recalled her first amble out here with Georgiana and how they had shared a special connection. She recollected how she had been drawn to the young, shy girl, and how humbled she was that Georgiana seemed to trust her and open up to her.

She walked mindlessly, taking paths that had beckoned to her earlier. When she saw that the sun was about to set, she turned back toward the house. Upon approaching it, her eyes glanced to the window of the study. She felt a peculiar regret about having to leave; particularly leaving things the way they were with Mr. Darcy. She settled that she would go to him before she left and apologize. He did not have to accept it, but for her own peace of mind she would do it.

Climbing the steps to the house, a chill enveloped her as the sun dipped below the horizon. She entered the warm house and was greeted with the smell of supper cooking. Walking into the sitting room and then the dining room, she found them both empty. Inquiring when the meal would be served, she was told that Miss Darcy would be eating with her brother in the study and that she, Miss
Bennet
, and Mr. Bingley could come to the dining room at any time.

She thanked them and left to find her sister. Remembering, however, that she had her handkerchief when she was in the infirmary the night before, she decided to first check to see if it was still there.

When she went in to the infirmary, all the linens had been stripped from the bed and the room cleaned. She looked under the bed but knew that with such a thorough cleaning, it would most likely be gone. As she took leave of the room, she encountered one of the servants and mentioned her handkerchief.

"I am the one who cleaned this room, Miss, and I am sorry, but I did not see a handkerchief."

"Thank you,"
Elizabeth
said with a little disappointment. "I am not quite certain where I left it, but I do recall having it in here last night. If you do find it after I have left, could you give it to Miss Darcy to send to me or bring with her when she comes for Charles’ and Jane’s wedding? It has my initials on it,
EB,
and a few embroidered flowers."

"I will certainly watch for it, Miss
Bennet
."

"Thank you."
Well, it is only a handkerchief
, she thought to herself.
I can always embroider another one.

From there she went to her room where she found Jane with one of the maids who was packing her things. She sat down with her.

Jane saw her and said, "
Lizzy
, we were concerned you were gone so long. Is everything well with you?"

"Yes, Jane. This place has such fine grounds. I wanted to take one last walk before I left. I do not think I shall ever again see such a splendid place as this." She breathed in a deep sigh and recalled that the meal was ready. "Oh, I was told we could come down anytime to the dining room for supper. Are you hungry?"

"Yes, I believe I am!"

"Good. Let us send for Mr. Bingley. Do you suppose he will want to join us?"
Elizabeth
teased her sister.

"Oh,
Lizzy
, I would certainly hope so!"

When they stepped out of the room, Bingley was already at the base of the stairs, awaiting them.
Elizabeth
marvelled at how the two of them beamed whenever they saw each other. Both wore wide smiles on their faces. She was sure it could not have been more than a few minutes since they had last seen each other. She shook her head in amazement, wondering how they would behave when they would see each other again after a full week’s separation.

During supper, Jane and Charles spoke almost exclusively with each other.
Elizabeth
joined in their conversation occasionally, but was content to eat quietly. She often looked toward the door, wondering whether Georgiana would come out from her brother’s room and join them. She had not seen her since their visit earlier and was very anxious to know how she was faring.

As they were about to finish, Georgiana finally walked in.
Elizabeth
was relieved to see that her countenance had indeed improved greatly. She walked first over to Jane and Charles.