At Peace (The War Trilogy #3) (5 page)

“It’s only been a week since I’ve been back, Dennis. I know this is going to take time. I know that I need to prove myself to you because no matter how many times I say that I’m never leaving you again, it doesn’t mean anything because they’re just words. I’m not going to lie, it fucking hurts that you don’t trust me, but I only have myself to blame for that.”

“I want us to get back to the way we were so badly,” Dennis croaks as his eyes well up with unshed tears.

“So do I. I can’t say I’m sorry enough, Dennis.” I frown. I hate seeing him so upset.

Dennis nods silently, averting his eyes to look down at the water bottle in his hands. My hands itch to touch him, to hold him, to kiss him, but I can’t. He is too vulnerable right now and if I touch him, he’d probably give in and then hate himself - and me - in the morning.

“I’m going to bed,” he whispers.

Dennis stands and I act before I can think about it. I grab his hand. Dennis looks down at me and waits.

“I love you.” I tell him.

He nods, a small ghost of a smile on his lips. “I love you, too.”

With that, he leaves the living room and makes his way to the end of the hall where he’s been staying in his old bedroom and closes himself in. I drop my head to the back of the couch and groan. I fucking hate this. I never wanted this for us, but I fucked up and there is no way to fix it. It’s just going to take time.

I get up and turn out the lights, check to make sure the door is locked, then go to my room. I strip out of my clothes in the dark, just leaving my underwear on, then climb into bed. I heave out a sigh as I try to find a comfortable position. I end up on my back, one arm slung over my head. Thoughts of Dennis keep me from falling right to sleep. Dennis naked. Dennis’ lips wrapped around my cock. Goddammit. It’s been over two weeks since we’ve done anything and I freaking miss it. I miss him.

The hard-on that I now have is also keeping me from falling asleep. The only way I can get to sleep is to get rid of the boner. I let my hand snake down my body and slip under the waistband of my boxer-briefs. I encircle my rock hard shaft and give it a lazy tug. I imagine Dennis’ tongue running up the underside of my cock before sucking the head into his mouth. Moving my hand down, I give my balls a pull before giving my cock another stroke.

My hand keeps getting caught on the waistband of my underwear, so I take a second to shove them down my legs and kick them to the side before going back to stroking my cock. I haven’t jerked off for a good three to four days, so this isn’t going to last long. Pre-come pools at my slit. I swipe my hand over it, using it for lube. I moan quietly as I plant my heels on the bed and roll my hips, pushing my dick up into my hand.

Fuck, I wish it were Dennis’ hands on me, or his mouth, or even better, if I were fucking his ass. I moan again and speed up my hand. Definitely not lasting long. I switch up between long strokes and short ones. My breathing turns into harsh pants. This orgasm is going to be hard and fast, I can feel it.

~ Dennis ~

I scrub my hand over my face as I walk down the hallway to Tucker’s room - our room. My mind won’t rest. All I can think about is the fact that I should be sleeping in the same bed as him. I know he won’t mind. He’s probably dying for me to make this move. I stop in front of the closed door and take a deep breath. This is a small step in the right direction, it’s not like we’re going to be fucking each other right now. I don’t know if I’m ready for that.

I open the door and start to say, “Tucker? I was thinking…”

I snap my mouth shut when I’m assaulted by Tucker’s gasp and long, drawn out moan. Holy shit, I obviously walked in on him jerking off.
Oh, hello instant hard-on.
The room is dark, so I really can’t see what he’s doing. I can hear him panting where he’s most likely lying on the bed.

“Did I interrupt?” I muse.

“Fuck,” Tucker wheezes. I hear him shift on the bed and then the light rasp of tissues being pulled from the box on the nightstand. “I’m done. Was just thinking about you,” he murmurs softly.

I step into the room and shut the door. I slowly stalk to the end of the bed. “Oh yeah? What about?” I rasp harshly, feeling my blood pressure spike. This is not what I expected to find when I decided to come in here. It was the last thing on my mind. But hell, it’s definitely on my mind now!

“I was picturing you sucking my dick,” Tucker replies without hesitation.

His words cause my dick to lengthen even more in my shorts. I hiss out a breath as a picture of me with his cock in my mouth flashes through my mind. Dammit, I don’t know if I’m ready to go there with him. But if he touches me, I don’t think I can deny him. Because in all honestly, I want him badly. I want that closeness that we had before back.

In the dark, I can see Tucker get to his knees on the bed and move down to the end, where I’m standing. My breathing picks up as I wait anxiously for him to say or do something. Now that he’s closer, I can make out his messy hair and naked body.
Fuck me.

“Since I just took care of myself, why don’t you let me take care of you?” Tucker asks, his voice a low purr. His fingers reach out to brush against mine.

I swallow hard, any resolve I had now gone. “Okay,” I breathe.

He leans in closer, his hands finding my hips. His lips brush against mine as he says, “Are you sure? I want you to be sure.”

My breath catches and my eyes flutter shut. I melt against him, my chest and stomach meeting his. “I’m sure.” Because, fuck yeah, I’m sure!

Suddenly, his hands are grasping my face and pulling me into a molten hot kiss. It’s all lips and tongues and teeth. I wrap my arms around him, pulling our bodies flush against each other. It’s not close enough. Not for me. I need more.

I maneuver us - without stopping our kiss - so that I can climb onto the bed, too. I force Tucker down and cover his body with mine. The kiss is frenzied and needy and straight up combustible. I let my hand slide up the outside of one of Tucker’s thighs until I reach his ass, where I give the plump flesh a firm squeeze. I grind against him, looking for some kind of relief for my aching erection.

“Denny,” Tucker gasps against my lips. “I wanna suck your cock, turn over.”

Tearing my mouth completely away from his, I do as he says. I roll over on the bed and shove down my shorts and underwear. I’m already shirtless, so I don’t have to worry about that. Tucker helps me get rid of my shorts and underwear before shoving my legs apart. He kneels between my legs, his body hovering over mine with his hands on either side of my head. His eyes study my face.

“You’re not going to regret this tomorrow, are you?” he asks quietly.

“No,” I answer without hesitation.

He smiles softly, coming down give me a languid kiss before he oh-so-slowly and torturously, kisses, licks, and nips his way down my body. By the time he makes it down to my hips, I’m ready to fucking explode. My chest is heaving and my whole body is thrumming with pent up need. I feel like I’m ready to combust from the overwhelming pleasure of having Tucker’s mouth on me again.

He leaves a trail of hot kisses down the underside of my leaking cock before licking back up it with a flat tongue. A strangled cry escapes me. His hot mouth envelops the head, his tongue swirling around it. I fist the sheets and fight the urge to shove up into his mouth. I don’t want to choke him. He takes as much of me as he can into his mouth, and it’s far enough that I can feel the back of his throat. I gasp and shove my fingers into his hair.

He releases my cock for a second to say, “Fuck my mouth, Denny. Let go,” then swallows me down again.

I growl low and grip two handfuls of his hair then start bucking my hips. I shove my cock into his mouth as far as he can take it. Tucker moans encouragingly, rolling his eyes up to look at me every so often. One of his hands smooths its way up my stomach to my chest where he pinches and rolls my nipple between his fingers. His other hand is around the base of my dick. I can feel my orgasm building but I need a little more.

“I need more, Tucker,” I pant.

The hand that is around my cock moves down over my balls until his fingers brush over my tight hole.
Fuck yes!
That’s what I want. His fingers are slick with his spit, not the greatest, but it will do. Tucker rubs circles around my hole, only probing gently, but not entering. He’s fucking teasing me, that jerk.

“Tucker,” I snap.

I’m on the verge of shattering into a million and one pieces and am not in the mood for teasing. He gets the hint and presses forward, his middle finger pushing past the tight ring. I groan deeply. Shit, that feels so good. He starts pumping his finger, making sure to brush over my prostate with every stroke. My grip on his hair tightens as I shove my cock faster past his lips.

With a guttural shout, I come hard. I shove myself down Tucker’s throat, spilling my load. I can feel his throat contracting around me as he fights not to gag. I’ve never gone that deep before but I couldn’t stop myself from making his nose touch my lower stomach. So much for not wanting to choke him.

When I let go of his hair, Tucker hastily pulls back and sucks in a noisy breath.

“Fuck, I’m sorry…” I start, my words slurred from being totally sated.

“It’s okay,” Tucker says hoarsely, cutting me off. “I told you to let go.”

Tucker moves to lie down next to me. His hand finds my face and he turns it toward him. I look at him through heavy-lidded eyes, unable to really focus on his face since my body is completely lax and it’s dark. “Thanks for that,” I mumble sleepily.

He gives me a soft smile. “You’re welcome.” Tucker places a tender kiss on my lips. “Get some sleep.”

My eyes slide closed as I nod. “M’kay.”

“Love you,” he whispers.

“Love you, too.”

~ Chapter Five ~

~ Tucker ~

The past week has gone fairly well. Dennis has been sleeping in our room with me. There hasn’t been too much sexual activity going on, he’s kept a little distance in that department. Which I’m okay with. I mean, I miss him. I miss being close to him, but I told him I’d do this at his speed, so I’m not going to push him. And since we’re both back to working full time, we really don’t see each other that much anyway. I work from nine am to five pm and he works from six pm until two am. As you can see, our time together is limited to mostly sleeping, except for Dennis’ days off, which are Wednesdays and Thursdays, and the weekends when I get to see him during the day.

Today is Friday, so I’m looking forward to having most of the day tomorrow to spend with Dennis. We talked about going out and doing some Christmas shopping for our family and friends, since Christmas is only a few days away. I went out the other night while Dennis was working and got him a present; something that I hope will show him that I plan on never leaving ever again.

My phone buzzes in my pocket interrupting my thoughts. I lift my hip from my chair so I can fish it out of the front pocket of my dress pants. I glance at the time on my computer, only an hour left before I leave. Sliding my thumb across the screen, I open my phone and hit my text messages. My heart jumps in my throat when I see that it’s from my brother, Rhys.

Hey, I feel bad about how I’ve been acting. I know doing this over text isn’t the greatest, but it’s about all I can handle right now.

My eyebrows shoot up to my hairline in shock. Wow. I really never expected him to come around.

It’s okay. I’m just glad that you’re talking to me again. I hate not having you in my life.

Me too. Do you think I can get Dennis’ number so I can apologize to him, too?

Yeah, sure.

I text him back quickly with Dennis’ cell phone number. I am beyond excited that my brother has finally come around to the idea of Dennis and me being together. And he’s really stepping up by wanting to apologize to Dennis himself.

Gotta go help Selene with Max. Talk to you later.

Alright, bud. Later.

A huge weight lifts off my shoulders. Shit, I had no idea how heavily Rhys’ shunning affected me. I've obviously been upset about it, but I’ve been giving him space, hoping that he’d eventually come around. And he finally has. Thank god. Like I told him, I hate not having my little brother in my life. I smile to myself, I can’t wait to go home and tell Dennis.

~ Dennis ~

My phone starts ringing as I’m pulling on my work T-shirt. It’s probably Tucker calling to tell me he’s on his way home. I snatch my phone off the bed and slide my thumb across the screen and answer it without checking to see who’s calling.

“Yo,” I say and take a seat on the edge of the bed so I can put my shoes on.

“Dennis?” A male voice, that kinda sounds familiar, asks.

“Uh, yeah, who’s this?”

“Rhys.”

Well, shit.

“Hey, Rhys. I’m surprised you’re calling me,” I say hesitantly.

“Yeah, listen,” he says, his tone clipped and hard. “I want you to stay the fuck away from my brother. You are ruining our family! I just lost my mother and now you’re taking my brother away from me, too, you fucking cocksucking bastard.”

I pull the phone away from my ear and look at it incredulously. What the fuck? I debate for all of a second on whether or not to hang up. Yeah, fuck that, I have a beef to pick with this asshat.

“I’m not taking your brother away, asshole. You’re pushing him away. It’s your own damn fault. You’re the one not talking to him. You’re the one who is a bigoted douchebag. What the fuck does it matter to you who your brother fucks? If
you
were a real fucking brother, you’d accept Tucker no matter who he was with. So fuck you! How dare you call me spewing your homophobic bullshit?”

“You really think he’s going to stick around if I threaten to keep him from seeing Max as long as he’s with you? You know how much he loves his nephew. You might as well end things with him now so he can have his family back,” Rhys says, a bit of smugness in his tone.

My heart takes a swan dive off the highest diving board. Damn, he really knows how to fucking hit me hard, doesn’t he? My confidence falters. Tucker loves his nephew to death. If Rhys threatens Tucker with never seeing Max again, would Tucker actually leave? No, I don’t think so, not after how well things have been going with us this past week.

“Fuck you, Rhys. How’d you even get my number?” I grunt.

“Ask your boyfriend,” he sneers and hangs up on me.

I fight the urge to throw my fucking phone across the room. “Sonofabitch!”

I shoot to my feet and pace back and forth by the end of the bed. Why would Tucker give Rhys my phone number? He obviously wasn’t calling to be nice and apologize. Surely, Tucker had to know this, right? Dammit! I really don’t think Tucker would leave again, but it’s hard to be completely positive.

No.

This shit stops right now.

I’m a fucking Marine! I’ve been blown up, I’ve lost my leg, I’ve lost my wife, I’ve attempted suicide, and I’ve lived through all of it, dammit. As much as I love Tucker, and as much as I want him in my life, if he decides to leave me over this, then he can fucking leave. It’s going to suck ass, and I’ll be crushed, but I will survive that, too. I can’t depend on Tucker for my own happiness. I can’t live like this any longer, with the worry and the distrust. It’s not me. I need to find my balls and stop acting like such a bitch. I have to either trust Tucker fully or end things because this is no way to have a relationship.

My choice?

Trust Tucker fully.

I have no idea how long I’ve been pacing, ranting to myself, but when the bedroom door opens and Tucker walks in with a bright smile on his face, I realize it’s been at least half an hour.

~ Tucker ~

My smile falters when I see Dennis looking like he’s on the verge of breaking shit. He’s dressed for work, but his hair is a sticking up in all directions, probably from shoving his hands into it. His mouth is turned down in a hard frown and his brows are deeply furrowed. He’s got one hand on his hip and the other one is rubbing the back of his neck. I go to him, stopping in front of him. His angry green eyes meet mine.

“Hey, what’s going on?” I ask softly.

“Why did you give your brother my phone number?” he snaps, his eyes flashing.

I blink. “I…he said he wanted to apologize to you. He told me he felt bad for the way he was acting,” I tell him, my eyebrows now furrowing.

I have a bad feeling about where this is going.

Dennis shakes his head. “That’s not what he said to me.”

Sudden anger flashes hot inside of me. That motherfucker! “What did he say?” I growl.

“He told me to stay away from you and that he’ll threaten to keep you from seeing Max if I don’t leave you,” he snarls.

My mild anger turns into fucking fury. Clenching my teeth, I take a few deep breaths so that I can try to think clearly, before I fucking explode.

I reach out and take his hand. “Babe, you know I’m not leaving you again, right?” I ask him, raising an eyebrow.

Dennis gives me a sharp nod, his jaw bulging slightly.

“Selene will never let Rhys keep Max from me,” I grunt.

“I can’t believe he would even threaten you with his own son,” Dennis sneers in disgust.

“Apparently, he’s a fucking dickwad,” I bite out.

Dennis scoffs. “You got that right.”

“Are you okay?” I ask softly, reaching up to cup his face.

Dennis blows out a breath. “Yeah, I think so. Are you?”

“I’m fucking furious, but really, what can I do?”

“Go to Philly and kick his ass?” Dennis suggests, a small smile playing across his full mouth.

I chuckle before leaning in to kiss him. Dennis gives me a few lingering kisses on the lips before pulling back. “I have to go to work,” he mutters.

“Okay, I will be here when you get home,” I promise, giving him a pointed look.

He closes his eyes for a moment, pulls in a deep breath, and nods before pulling away completely so he can head for the door. I’m actually kind of shocked at how Dennis handled this situation; instead of falling apart, like I half expected him to, he handled it like a champ and didn’t question me once. I really hope we’ve turned a corner here.

After I hear the front door close, I let my fury rise back to the surface. I pull out my phone and hit my brother’s contact info. The phone rings three times before he picks up.

“What?” he answers nastily.

“Who the
FUCK
do you think you are threatening Dennis like that?!” I roar. “You are so fucking lucky that I’m not there right now because I would kick the ever-living shit out of you, you little prick. Some fucking brother you’ve turned out to be. Do me a favor and lose my number because you are dead to me!” I bark and hang up one him.

I rake a shaky hand down my face. A second later my phone beeps with a text message. If this is Rhys, I’m going to smash my phone. I look at the screen to see that’s it’s not Rhys, but Duke. Thank fucking God.

Hey man, you free? I really need a beer and an ear.

Yes! I definitely could use a beer.

I’m free.

Great! Come to my place in 10.

Okay, see you then.

Twenty minutes later, we’re sitting in the bar across from Duke’s apartment drinking beer. We haven’t said more than two words to each other since I got to his place. Duke seems oddly distracted, which is not like him at all. Now that he’s back to work, too, I haven’t seen him much, so it’s nice to finally get to spend some time with him.

“So what’s crawled up your ass and died?” I ask him, glancing at him as I take a sip of my beer.

Duke takes another pull from his bottle before he sets it on the bar top and sighs heavily.

“I slept with Arianna.”

My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “When did this happen?”

“A few days ago,” Duke answers.

“Okay? Why do you make it sound like it’s a bad thing? She’s single, you’re single,” I say in confusion.

Keith had actually been the one to tell me about Kyle. He was fucking fuming and called me up to vent before he went ballistic on the guy. Then when I had talked to Duke about it, he confirmed that Arianna had hired him to find out the truth, which he had.

“We danced in the fucking snow!” Duke exclaims like that’s supposed to explain everything.

I frown at him, a bit concerned for his mental state at the moment. “Are you okay? Feeling alright there, buddy?”

“I ate chocolate icing off her nipples, for shit’s sake!” he practically shouts.

My eyes widen slightly as I glance around us to see if anyone overheard the dumbass sitting next to me. “Dude, keep your voice down, we’re in public,” I hiss. No one needs to know that he’s been licking icing off a hot chick’s nipples.

Duke groans and drops his forehead to the bar top with a thud. I wince. That had to hurt.

“I don’t understand the problem here, Duke. It sounds like you had a
really
nice time with her,” I say.

His head shoots up and he glares at me with his hazel eyes. “That
IS
the problem! I like her! Way more than I should! I can’t stop thinking about her!” he cries in annoyance.

My lips twitch as I try to fight back the smile that wants out. This guy, he kills me. Once I get myself under control, I say, “It’s okay to like someone, you know,” then give him a pat on the shoulder.

“No, it’s not. Because you know what I see happening with her?” Duke asks me.

I roll my lips in and shake my head. “No, what?”

“L.O.V.E.,” he replies in an exaggerated whisper.

That’s it, I can’t…I burst out laughing, much to Duke’s chagrin.

“It’s not funny!” he hisses, giving my shoulder a shove. “I can’t do it again, man. I just can’t,” he murmurs dejectedly.

I get a pang in my chest. I hate that he’s struggling like this. My laughter fades and I look over at my friend sympathetically.

“You know, the harder you fight it, the faster you’re going to fall,” I remind him softly.

Duke drops his face into his hands and makes a pained noise. “She’s like the perfect woman. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted,” he says, sounding so torn, so tortured. It breaks my heart.

“Maybe you’ve finally found the right one then,” I offer.

Duke shakes his head. “I don’t have another heartbreak in me, Tuck. I know I look all tough and shit, but I’m just a big pile of goo inside.”

I chuckle. Leave it to Duke to lighten the mood. “I know you are. I also know you aren’t the type to play it safe, either. You take chances, sometimes stupid ones…”