Attachment Strings (29 page)

A
LEX
woke up half an hour later due to a nurse checking on him. She radiated that deep sense of contentment that comes from doing the work she loved. I craned my head to read her nametag, which identified her as Marion.

She sent me a beatific smile as she changed the bag with fluids on Alex’s IV stand. Sluggishly, Alex tried to fend her off while she took his temperature. I captured his other hand and held them both in mine, gently rubbing my thumbs over the back of them. He blinked his puffy eyes open, and for a split second I feared he wouldn’t recognize me.

“You’re still here,” he croaked.

“I have been told you weren’t too pleased with my absence this morning.”

Marion giggled while she rearranged his blankets to her satisfaction. Alex threw me an irritated glance, but I could only shrug.

Marion caught a glimpse of our silent conversation and spoke up. “You were a real mess when you woke up this morning and noticed that he,” she pointed at me, “wasn’t there. You really gave us a hard time. The doctor was close to giving you a sedative. Of course, after what you’ve been through, your reaction is very understandable. To top all that you woke up with a tube in your throat, which must have been frightening.”

Gently, she pushed a stray lock from Alex’s forehead and bent down to whisper in his ear, “You caught yourself a fine man, a real hero. You must be proud of him. Now get some rest, young man, so you’ll be discharged soon.”

Alex gawked at her retreating back before he managed to stammer, “W-What the hell? I m-mean, what was
that
about?”

“Apparently, there was a news helicopter filming the whole rescue scene. Let’s say our relationship is out in the open,” I filled him in.

His eyes widened. I wondered if he feared problems at his job, but he interrupted my train of thought by asking, “Are you in trouble now?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. I was supposed to have a talk with my boss this morning.”

“Why aren’t you there?”

“Williams can yell at me at any time, and… I wanted to see you.”

I concentrated my gaze on his hands, allowing myself to feel the warmth of them seeping into mine. Alex swallowed audibly before he cleared his throat and gently slipped free his hands. Had I said too much? Too mushy?

Alex squirmed closer to me and linked his hands behind my neck. His fast and shallow puffs of breath tickled me. I frowned when I realized his heart was racing. “Alex? What’s going on? I’m relatively sure there’s an alarm that’ll go off if your heart beats any faster.”

He gulped in air and purposefully attempted to slow down his heartbeat. When he spoke, he sounded choked and tearful. “I wanted to see you too. So
very
badly.”

“Just to give you fair warning, you’ll get to see me more often in the future. You might regret your words.”

He lifted his head to look at me. “No,
I
won’t, but what about you? I don’t come alone, you know that. I won’t give Sean up. Not even for you.”

His gaze skimmed away and his arms lost their strength around me. I prevented him from withdrawing completely by cupping his face in my hands. I coaxed him into looking at me again. Those dark eyes shined with sadness. After shaking my head, I kissed him firmly on his lips. “I know all that. I’d never ask you to give up Sean for me.”

“No, maybe you wouldn’t ask for it outright. But you’ll get tired of him coming first and….” He would have shifted away from me had I given him the chance. When I didn’t, he continued softly, “Maybe we should stop seeing each other. It might be bearable now.”

My hands around his face tightened. I had to consciously unclench them so as not to hurt him. Through gritted teeth, I squeezed, “No, it won’t. At least not for me. Alex, come on, don’t make me beg.”

“But—”

“No. We’ve already been over this, remember? In one of our seriously weird after-sex talks.” I dredged up a tiny smile. “We’re both taking a risk. I can’t promise you it’ll work out. I can only promise you to try, very hard. Sean is not a problem for me.” Upon seeing his doubtful gaze, I hurriedly added, “Well, not anymore. I might not always feel comfortable, but I will try to get there.”

In the end, I begged nonetheless. “
Please
, Alex.”

“Geez, Jeff! How could I possibly say no to that?”

A whole wall of bricks that had surrounded my heart crumbled. Pathetic, but true.

I pulled him into a tight hug, which caused him to say, “You might want to leave my ribs unbroken.”

Both of us chuckled as I loosened my grip around him. Hoping to snatch another kiss before I eventually had to head over to the station, I tilted my head. Our lips didn’t meet because the door opened. A jabbering, downright hysterical Winston Bernard stumbled into the room. Lopez followed him but turned on his heels when he caught a glimpse of Alex and me entangled in a tight hug.

Suppressing the urge to rip his stupid head off his shoulders, I kept my mouth shut. Alex brought some space between us and greeted Winston. The old man continued to gabble incoherently, then turned sharply to the door.

Something inside me snapped to alertness in an instant. The door lock clicked shut. Turning back to us, the bus driver pointed a 9mm Beretta at us.

A
LEX
inhaled sharply. So did I.

Getting up, I held out my hands placatingly. “Mr. Bernard, what seems to be the problem?”

I positioned myself between the crazy old man and Alex’s bed. Cold sweat already coated my back. I desperately wished for my own gun. It would at least provide us with some kind of protection.

“What seems to be the problem?” Winston screeched.

Bedding rustled in the background. I heard Alex mutter something soothing to Sean. Why did the kid have to wake up right now? If he started to trill or grunt or emit some of his other noises, it could tip Winston right over the edge.

Quietly, I repeated, “Yes, that’s what I asked. Why are you waving a gun in here?”

Winston cackled. The sound raised the hairs on my body. Stiffening my spine, I spread my stance slightly, hoping to intimidate the bus driver by my sheer bodily presence. It had worked in my favor before. Not this time, though.

Winston took a few steps in our direction but kept enough of a distance between us. “I’ll need the gun to finish my job.”

“Which job would that be?” And why didn’t Lopez break down the door? I made a mental note to punch him in the face when we were done here.

“He was supposed to drown! It could have been so easy! The wheelchair is heavy; there was no chance for him to survive! The impact on the water alone should have broken his neck! Everything would be fine now!” Winston yelled.

Sean squeaked in protest. I flinched when Winston pointed his gun around wildly. “Stupid little thing. He’s not worth living and ruining other people’s lives!”

“Winston! What are you talking about? This is Sean you’re talking about. You
like
him.”

“
Alex
,” I hissed.

My warning came too late. Winston zeroed in on Alex, his face contorted in a mask of fury and disgust. Taking a step back to avoid coming into my reach, Winston said to me, “Over there. Back to the wall. Now!”

I obeyed. Dry-mouthed, I watched Winston move around Alex’s bed. For a split second I thought I saw his expression soften. Instead, he slapped Alex right across his mouth, drawing a surprised shout from him.

I stepped forward on autopilot only to have Winston snarl at me, “You stay put. Alexander and I need time for a little chitchat before I blow his brother’s brains out.”

Sean whimpered. Alex did the same.

I watched Winston grip Alex by his hair, tilt his head back to a painful angle, and press the muzzle of the gun against his left temple. The heart monitor beeped in alarm.

“I never liked your brother. He’s ugly, disgusting, a disgrace to humankind. He’s not worth the care he receives. But I liked you. Because you’re compassionate, you care and are willing to make sacrifices. It shows an admirable strength in you.” His voice softened as he added, “Just like my Nelly.”

“Who’s Nelly?” I asked.

Winston gazed at me thoughtfully while he kept his hold on Alex, whose eyes were wide open. Fear was etched in every line on his face.

“I know what you’re trying to do. You want to keep me talking so I might change my mind. Not going to happen, Detective Woods. Yes, I did my homework and know who you are,” he spat.

“That couldn’t have been too difficult since it was probably all over the news last night.”

I wished I had kept my mouth shut and let him continue to gloat. His eyes narrowed before he let go of Alex’s hair. The relief was short-lived because his hand connected with Alex’s cheek, hard. Instinctively, Alex put a hand up to cover his hurt cheek. His eyes shone with unshed tears and he gasped when Winston tangled his big hand in his hair again.

The heart monitor shrilled by now. The sound of at least two people running toward the room reached my ears. Someone rattled the doorknob. Upon finding it closed, I heard Marion yelling, “Open the door!”

“Tell Officer Lopez to break it down. We have an attempted murderer in this room!” I yelled back.

Winston looked at me in surprise, hissing, “You’ll regret this.”

I hoped not.

Winston raised his gun and fired a shot that exploded right next to my head. The commotion outside the door stopped. I swallowed, not sure if Winston had intended this to be a warning shot or if he had simply missed.

Sean cried. Alex hiccupped. Outside, I listened to Lopez ushering people away and talking rapidly into his radio, demanding backup.

“While we wait for backup, why don’t we talk a little bit?”

I blinked at Winston. Crazy people like him always confused the hell out of me. Their unpredictable behavior sometimes scared me shitless.

Winston didn’t wait for an answer. “I’ll probably be killed today, so I’ll give you some information. Maybe you’ll understand. Actually, I’m sure you’ll understand. I saw how you looked at Sean. Yeah, he and his kind
are
disgusting and not easy to be around. Think how much easier it’ll be once he’s out of the picture. You’ll have him”—he shook Alex, whose head rocked like he was a ragdoll—”completely for yourself. Don’t tell me you never thought about it.”

I clamped my mouth shut. Two pairs of shiny, dark eyes looked directly—and oh so doubtfully—at me. I couldn’t reassure them of my honest intentions now, couldn’t tell them how much I loved them.

“Who’s Nelly?” I repeated.

Winston adjusted his position on the bed so Alex’s back rested against his chest. He slung one arm around Alex’s waist while the other one still pointed the gun at Alex’s temple. Alex didn’t fight him. He didn’t help, either. The alarm on the heart monitor became a distant noise in the background.

“Nelly was my wife. A sweet, petite thing. I married her right after school and she was the best wife a man could have wished for. We had four children together, two girls and two boys. The youngest one, a boy we named James, was disabled. He was blind, deaf, dumb, and completely useless. Nelly, God bless her, still loved him. She took care of him for over twenty years. The boy never thanked her for her care.
Never.
”

I wondered how he was supposed to thank his mother for anything considering his disabilities. “She sounds like a courageous woman. You must be proud of her.”

Winston’s face darkened. “I was. I tried to be a good husband and support her. Even though I couldn’t stand that creepy, repulsive thing that turned our lives upside down.”

Silence stretched out when Winston stopped talking. Sean sniffled occasionally. He had scooted to the furthest end of his bed, pressing his shivering little body against the railing. Alex surprised all of us by asking, “What happened? Where is Nelly now?”

“James, that ungrateful piece of shit, died. Can you believe it? His treacherous heart simply stopped beating. Just like yours did last night.”

Alex blanched in cold surprise. Had no one told him about the cardiac arrest?

Sean whimpered pitifully. His whimpers drew Winston’s gaze to him. Alex swallowed convulsively before he croaked, “Had your son been sick?”

Winston glowered but went on nonetheless. “No, he wasn’t sick or anything. It was as if he had suddenly decided this wasn’t worth it anymore. Nelly couldn’t cope with the loss. One month after his death she overdosed on sleeping pills.” He breathed heavily through his nose. “She left me a letter in which she told me why she was doing it. She wrote she couldn’t live without James. That she had failed him and now her own life wasn’t worth living anymore. Not even her other three children, her two grandchildren, or I were reason enough to go on with her life. How would you feel if your wife didn’t think
you
were worth living for?”

Grief. It could cause some people to go crazy. Winston obviously belonged to that group of people.

“I’m sorry,” Alex said softly.

“I knew you’d be. You’re a good boy, even if your moral code is a bit off. You should find yourself a nice wife and build a family. Not….” He trailed off and looked from Alex to me. “Not kiss another man. There’ll be enough women out there looking for a man like you. And when you’ve gotten yourself a nice family, make sure to drown the baby in case it’s disabled. I should have done it.”