Attraction (15 page)

engagement.
Within a week, Heron, without a word, flew to New York, and from there, he would flew
to Berlin.
Riley, for her part, was glad to put behind her the disastrous extravagant preparations of a
wedding that never materialized. Her sister and her new husband were settling into their married
life, selling their apartments in the city and looking for a home in Marin County to set up house.
And she was glad that now that Roberta had married the brother of Heron and not Heron himself,
she would see less of Heron than had Roberta married him. Riley expected that at most, she
would run into him once or twice per year, when both were expected to attend family gatherings
during holidays or backyard barbeques. Riley more than welcomed the settling of life with her
family back to normal, going over to her parents’ house very Sunday for dinner with the addition
of Tanner.
And, perhaps, if she were really inclined, now she could concentrate more on her
personal life, which she knew she had been neglecting for a few years now. But, then, she
reasoned, that was only because in a small county like Sonoma, which was still rural in many
respects, there weren’t a lot of interesting men around, at least any who were single. She did
allow herself a second go at Danny Moore, but had reached the same conclusion that she had the
first time she went to bed with the successful developer. He might be a macho man’s man in the
company of men, but he certainly was no woman’s man between the sheets. So, she baldly told
him she was no longer interested in seeing him the next time he called to invite her to dinner.
Heron came back from Europe little more than a month later, successful, mostly restored
to his earlier self so that he was coolly detached to most everyone, more or less resigned to his
brother’s marriage to his former fiancée, ready to put the whole fiasco behind him, and picked up
his life where as if there had only be a minor blip in it.
Alana Wait decided that it was time to bring the two families together, once again, as way
to bridge over the embarrassment and ill will. She invited Lawrence and Caroline and Riley up to
their house, gathered the newlyweds and her daughter and her husband, and issued a strict
command to Heron to appear for the dinner, whether he liked it or not, and on the threat of
further harassment.
At first, as expected, there was the general awkwardness from all concerned, so that
everyone was overly bright when greeting one another, so determined were they to put the
awkwardness to rest and behind them. For the first half hour, everyone fervently clung to very
safe but very nonsensical topics, such as the weather, the heavy fog that insistently clung to the
city for nearly a week, and the annoying traffic that seemed twenty-four hours.
Only Heron stood apart, standing at the window, looking out without really enjoying the
scene, every once in awhile glancing at the gathering, not really interested in engaging with the
rest.
Then Tanner said, “Everyone, everyone, I’d like your attention, for a moment. Everyone,
if I could have your attention.”
Everyone quieted down and gave him their attention. Tanner reached out his hand
towards his wife, who took it, and he pulled her into his arm. Both looked a little nervous,
Roberta even a little tearful.
“Robbie and I have something that we need to say,” he said hesitantly.
“Tanner, there’s really no need…” Alana said with some worry.
“Yes, Mother, there is. Robbie and I need to do this. Well, we want to apologize for what
we did, for running away like we did, and ruining everything. We know we caused a lot of pain,
especially for…”
Here, everyone eyes automatically turned towards Heron, who looked completely
unmoved and unaffected, the expression on his face coldly impassive as usual.
“Anyway,” Tanner continued. “Robbie and I have every confidence that our future will
be much more smooth sailing and happy than what the beginning portends. But that’s not
possible without the support of our family, which you all have given without reserve or censure.
And for that, my wife and I are very grateful more than anything else.”
Cheers of well-wishing were issued to the new couple with couple of toasts. All this,
Heron conspicuously kept apart from, keeping to himself by the window.
By the time dinner was served, the initial awkwardness and tension seemed to have
lessoned greatly, partly due to Tanner and Robert’s chagrinned apologies and appeal for
tolerance and understanding. The two families felt at ease enough to engage in lively discussions
over turtle soup, Caesar salad, red wine braised roast beef with new potatoes.
“Well, Riley, I personally am delighted to have you and sister in our family,” Beth Anne
said. She was sitting across from Riley two seats to the left. “I must admit that I’ve been able to
develop a little notoriety at my school once I revealed that I have a sister-in-law who runs a
circle of ongoing sex group. A few of them even have heard of your club. In fact, it has created a
small dispute amongst the different departments regarding the true role of sex for humanity. As
you may as well have expected, there is such a gamut of opinions on sex and society. You’d be
amazed how silly the beliefs and values of sex can run even in highly educated people. One
anthropologist has declared for humans, because of our much superior brain, sex was just an
outdated method for procreation, that humans over time will eventually find its reproductive
function as inconsequential as the gills are that briefly appear in all of us as a developing fetus.
In the future, all births will be run in test tubes.”
Riley smiled with amusement. “You mean to say that in time, penises and clitorises will
eventually appear just as briefly in our early development, then, and disappear altogether?”
“Quite frankly I don’t think the male species would survive if that were to happen, as
attached they are to their somewhat of a fifth limb,” Beth Anne quipped. Then she said, “But,
seriously, Riley, you must admit that sex has always been a subject that humans are so much still
at odds with. While there are those who would subjugate it to all forms of repression, and others
who would embrace it wholeheartedly in all its forms as they would the air that they breathe,
most of us are left with such ambiguous and ambivalent feelings about sex. Society has always
given such mixed signals about sex that its citizens are left, I’m afraid, to their own devices and
imaginations. But most of us, would rather avoid the subject, altogether, wouldn’t you say?”
Riley nodded. “Hence the rise of religious and moral naysayers who would like nothing
more than to dictate their own values and beliefs on sex onto society, because most of us are
unable to articulate how we feel about sex for ourselves.”
“Perhaps the purpose of those who see themselves as guards against signals of depravity
of humans should be more considered as balance against the excesses of basic human nature,”
Heron said.
Riley looked at him with surprise. He had not spoken to her at all that evening. He was
also seated across the table from her but one seat to the right.
She said mildly, “It is also said that those who see themselves as guardians of societal
virtue are nothing more than control freaks.”
“That’s one way of dismissing societal controls,” Heron said coolly.
“It has always been my opinion that it’s not society that they want to control, but their
own fears.”
“Fears of their own? Why would such communal impulses be masking personal fears?
Don’t you think that’s insulting the larger and more humanitarian drive for community
involvement?”
“Not when such people are driven beyond guidance but to oppress.”
“What do you suppose those fears are then, that makes them feel the need to redirect
them externally?”
“My guess would be that those fears are of those very things that drive them to suppress
them in others.”
“Sex?”
“Amongst other things.”
“So you don’t believe any human impulses should be attempted to be controlled, because
that would deny that we are largely still animals?”
“No, I didn’t say that at all. You know, it’s funny how people like you and that preacher
Townsend always twist our words for tolerance for our more basic drives. You take the whole
argument into an hyperbole, make them seem unreasonable, that we’re advocating complete
liberality of all human capacities for depravity, that we’re only concerned about our own selfish,
animalistic pleasures.”
Heron sipped at his wine and gave a small, maddeningly patronizing smile. “Perhaps
advocates like you haven’t really laid out your arguments well, especially when given the
thousands of years that we have been in existence.”
“I could say the same for you,” Riley shot back.
“Then, consider this your one opportunity, Ms. Calderon.”
“This isn’t a courtroom, Mr. Wait.”
“I would think it would be highly prudent of you to take whatever opportunity that might
be afforded to you, whether in a formal or informal setting.”
Riley stared at him, disliking the challenge that he had just handed her, but more angry at
herself for allowing him an opening to issue one.
By now the two had completely forgotten where they were, or that they in the midst of a
family dinner. Riley’s and Heron’s focus was only on each other, their eyes locked, watching,
waiting for any signs of weakness or an opening to thrust in his or her own point. They were
completely oblivious to the fact that all other family members had grown quiet and all their eyes
were on them, watching intently the volley of words and ideas across the dinner table, their eyes
going from one opponent to the other, as if they were watching a tennis match.
Tanner and Beth Anne exchanged glances of amusement and anticipation, Roberta
looked on with some bewilderment, and Ovid watched with academic interest. Caroline and
Lawrence looked a little apprehensive and intimidated, and Roy took more of an attitude of a
referee, watching the two narrowly as if to make sure that both sparred fairly.
Alana watched the clash of wills and intellect with particular interest. It was the first time
she had ever witnessed a woman being able to engage her oldest son’s attention in a conversation
of any depth and heat. And it was the first time she ever saw a woman being able to kick Heron
out of his habitual detachment.
Riley kicked up one corner of her lips in a sneer. “Once a lawyer, always a lawyer, is that
it?”
Heron calmly continued to return her gaze, patiently waiting.
She put the bread that she had been buttering down on the plate and brushed her hands of
the bread crumbs. “Alright. I’m not all for complete liberality, as much as you like to accuse me
of it. I believe in control just as the next person does. Of course I conceded that people like you
and errant religious leaders have a point about limiting such baser human needs and drives. I’m
just as aware as any moral person what that would do to society if a lot of our animal instincts
were not held in check. But what I object to is the way people like Reverend Townsend tries to
control them by suppressing those less acceptable needs and instincts within all of us. People like
the reverend try to deny those drives inside us, and that the extent of them in many of us can go
as far as perversions. And it’s the perversions that society and the reverend are afraid of.”
“And rightly so, one common perversion being sadomasochism.”
“But why not admit that humans have that dark capacity amongst us, inside us..”
“You don’t then believe that that would be giving it a pass?”
“No, I don’t. I believe in order to control a potential danger is to first acknowledge that
potential within us.”
“Then, let us say that society does admit that sadomasochism is possible within many of
us. Do we all then sport leathers and chains beneath our very controlled business attire?”
“Some already do.”
Beth Anne broke into laughter, earning severe looks from her parents. She quickly
pressed her lips together and tried to look chastised.
Riley continued, “But why not let those who are into the practice do as they please,
instead of making them feel ashamed and unnatural?”
“And what if they go as far as they are danger to themselves and to others? You can’t
deny that such games have led to physical harm. Even death. Where is it, then, do you propose
that a line be drawn between sexual pleasure and physical injury? How do you handle those
people who step over that line?”
“In my club. I weed them out.”
“If they can’t go to an outlet like your establishment, because even you, in all your open
mindedness, will not allow even their extent of perversion, then where else is there to go for
them? You know that they have to go somewhere for such an outlet”
Riley thought for a moment. Then a look of surprise came over her face. “I must admit, I
really don’t have an answer for that.”
Heron gave a small smile of triumph that grated at Riley’s nerve. “Then, I guess, we’re
back to square one.”
“I would propose that at a certain point of perversion that it become more of a mental
exercise than actual physical undertaking,” Ovid suddenly offered in his usual scholarly fashion.
Then he blushed violently when he saw all eyes turning to him. He swallowed but continued.
There were many times in his career as an astrophysicist that he had to project out to a group of
people his theories and the facts and line of reasoning behind his theories. “Sport of a physical
release through mental processes. In fact, movies, books, television are already such outlets.”
“However, mental outlets do not work for chronic pedophiles. Especially for the
murderous ones. How do we, then handle such cases?”
“Lock them up,” Tanner said, nodding. “We have to lock them up. We’ve no other
choice, with any serial killers and rapists.”
“But, then, that brings me back to my point on acknowledging the less desirable impulses
inside us, ones that are not manifested in most of us, but are in few others,” Riley said. “Yes, we
do lock up such people who terrorize and destroy society such base form. But, I think where we
make the mistake is that once we give the key to the jailor and he pockets it, we forget about
them. And I think that might where our mistake is for handling these types of issue. Instead of