Autumn (16 page)

“What do you mean? Not see him? How could I not see him?”

“You went for the better part of the summer without seeing him,” Mrs. Cheshire pointed out.

My legs felt like Jell-O and it took all the energy I had just to stand. I stared at her, unable to form a reply.

“Which means, you are perfectly capable of doing so again. At least until the Supreme Council comes to a decision.”

I had been wondering what was taking them so long. Recently I had started to wonder if it was Mrs. Cheshire who was dragging her feet. What if the other members of the Council wanted to be done with us, and Mrs. Cheshire wouldn’t allow it? I knew it was a pipe dream, but still, I had to keep some hope alive. The best place for hope to live was in dreams.

“That was before...everything,” I finished lamely. They couldn’t keep us apart, not now.

“You may see him now, but only for a few minutes. Samuel is there, but once Holt leaves you are not allowed to see him again. His mother has agreed to have him in the house, but only under a few conditions, including that you come nowhere near him. Do you understand?”

“Then how am I supposed to see her?” I demanded, frustrated.

“Tomorrow night she is going to take you to dinner,” said Mrs. Cheshire. “She has agreed to this in the hope that she can talk you into to leaving her son in peace. You have done enough damage, particularly to the Summer Fairies.”

Mrs. Cheshire’s words should no longer have had the power to hurt me, but they still did. It felt like she had slapped me right across the face and I had trouble drawing air in.

Still standing next to me, Lydia was about to burst with glee.

Fury and sadness warred inside me, but I couldn’t let fury win. I knew Mrs. Cheshire was looking for any excuse to banish me to the ends of the world, and I also didn’t want her to see my pain. If she saw how much her words hurt me, she would have enjoyed herself that much more.

She was watching me closely, so instead of giving in to my hurt I gave in to my anger. “You are evil,” I hissed. “Through and through. And it’s a wonder that Samuel is so good. It will be a good day for the Winter Fairies when you no longer rule.”

Mrs. Cheshire sucked in air, and when she exhaled I could see cold clouds. Her eyes blazed.

“I am not the one meddling where I do not belong,” she said. “You would do well to remember that. You will never belong.” The familiar cold hatred penetrated my skin and made me start to shiver.

“You’re just angry that I didn’t do what I was told and go along with marrying your son.”

“It is clear you think he’s not good enough for you. If you step out of line one more time you will regret it for the rest of your life. I swear. Lydia?” She turned to her niece, effectively ending our conversation.

And with that she was gone.

I didn’t even look at Lydia; I knew how furious she must be. Instead, I followed her huffing form down a dizzying array of hallways. She could have been taking me anywhere; for all I knew she was leading me to my death.

But she wasn’t. I soon found myself standing at the top of the familiar stairwell that led down to happiness: to Holt. I couldn’t help but smile.

“Thanks so much, Lyd,” I said sweetly. “Later we can hold hands and skip.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Autumn? Is that you?” I heard Samuel’s voice drifting up from below.

“Coming,” I called back. I ruthlessly squashed the butterflies that started to come up in my stomach at the sound of his voice.

Without so much as a backwards glance I trotted down the stairs.

“Hi,” I said, quickly taking in the scene. Holt was still behind bars, but he looked much better than he had the other times I had been there. He wore a dark blue sweater and jeans, standard guy-wear. Seeing him warmed me like nothing else could. My face must have flushed, because Samuel’s black eyebrows raised.

“You’ve been talking to my mother.” It wasn’t a question.

I couldn’t keep my eyes from flicking to him. “She is horrible, Samuel. I’m sorry, but she is.”

Samuel merely shrugged. “Were you in trouble for last night?” He was sitting in a chair that he must have brought down. I wondered how often he came down here to chat with Holt. Neither of them ever mentioned talking to the other.

“Yes,” I exploded. It was so unfair, and even though I had wanted to be nice to her I had failed. “Obviously, she doesn’t consider defending myself a good enough reason to use my magic. Fairies attacked me, after all!”

“They what?” Holt cried, sprinting to the bars. He tried to shove his hand through, but he had hardly gotten close enough to touch them when he shot backwards as though he had been thrown. He slammed into the opposite wall, slumping to the ground.

I cried out and dashed forward, but I was propelled backwards myself before I got within a yard of the bars. I stumbled a little but regained my balance quickly and turned on Samuel.

“Help him,” I ordered, pointing inside the bars to a still-crumpled Holt.

“He’ll be fine,” said Samuel, shrugging. “It only stunned him.”

“It only...are you mad? Are ALL Winter Fairies mad? And to think you were the one I was supposed to marry.” I was yelling, because I was having a hard time not throwing myself at him and running my nails up and down his chest. Something of his reaction to my feelings showed in his face, because I saw his jaw tighten.

“I’ve been saying for a while now that we spend too much time together,” he commented quietly.

“Yeah,” I said, “Well, your mother made sure of that, didn’t she? She’s the one who said you and Susan were the only ones I could perform spells around.”

Before Samuel could say anything else I turned to Holt. “Are you alright?” I asked, staring through the bars.

His eyes were open and he gave me a goofy smile. “Stay away from the bars,” he said, his voice dry. “They might hurt you.”

“Thanks for the tip.” I tried to make my voice scolding, but couldn’t manage it.

He grinned sheepishly at me and asked, “Just tell me you’re alright?”

“Yeah,” I said, “I’m fine. Really.”

He nodded. “Wonderful. What happened?”

I glanced at Samuel. “Maybe you should tell,” I said, “You seemed to know them.”

Samuel’s face darkened, but he didn’t argue. Holt was looking at the Winter Prince expectantly.

“You introduced Autumn to Fairies who wanted to hurt her? Are you nuts?” he said as he scrambled to his feet.

“No on introduced anyone to anything,” said Samuel, “least of all me.  I would never introduce Autumn to violent Fairies...other than my mother.”

I almost laughed at that, which ended up as a choking sound in my throat. Holt gave me an odd look.

Samuel started to explain. At the name of  “Rog,” Holt swore. “That kid never could keep his mouth shut.”

“I’ll bet you anything he knows where Logan is,” I said.

“Probably,” Holt agreed, “but he would never tell. Those two were always attached at the hip, and not in a good way.”

Once Holt had heard the whole story he said, “What was he trying to do? Scare you away?”

“I have a theory,” said Samuel. He was still sitting in the chair. He looked relaxed, but I could tell he was wary.

“What?”

“I think my mother put them up to it,” said Samuel with a heavy sigh. “I think she would do anything to get Autumn in trouble. And she did.”

I stared at him, dumbfounded. The problem was that what he said made perfect sense.

“Your mother is not a good person,” I said.

“So I’ve heard,” said Samuel. “So I’ve heard.”

“What was your punishment?” Holt asked me. He had managed to get himself to his feet and dust off his pants and sweater, but there was still a thin line of dust running down his chest. I wished I could brush it off.

I took a deep breath. “Promise to remain calm?” I asked him. It was almost comical that I was making him promise, considering how angry I had been a few minutes ago. But I didn’t want him to jump at the bars and hurt himself again.

“Oh, I promise,” said Holt dryly. His green eyes locked on my brown ones and I found it hard to breathe.

Samuel cleared his throat. “Autumn, you were saying?”

I blushed and nodded. “She ordered me to stay away from Holt once he’s released, and she said I have to have dinner with Holt’s mother on Monday.”

“Is she nuts?” Holt asked.

“She thinks your mom will try to talk me out of...you,” I said quietly.

“Mrs. Cheshire is damn right that’s what she’s going to try and do,” said Holt.

Samuel rubbed the back of his neck. “My mom fights dirty. And she doesn’t like not getting her way.”

“Obviously,” I muttered.

Holt took a deep breath. “I’ll see you,” he said. “One way or another we will get together. It won’t be long now. They aren’t going to do anything...drastic.”

My eyes flicked to Samuel. From his troubled expression I didn’t think he was so sure about that, but Holt looked so happy I wasn’t going to be the one to ruin it.

Samuel said he’d come over and wait with me for Mrs. Roth to arrive and take me to dinner. I wasn’t sure it would help, but Holt liked the idea, so I went along with it. I gave Holt one last desperate look before I disappeared back up the stairs. I wanted to stay, but I knew that Mrs. Cheshire was liable to show up any minute and try to kill me, so I left.

I probably should have been nervous about another run-in with Rog, but he didn’t scare me. Maybe it was because it had looked like Gaudet was more in control, or maybe it was because I felt confident that he wouldn’t attack me again after what Samuel had said. Either way, Lydia took me home without incident. I probably should have thanked her for not trying to drive me off a cliff.

The next day I got ready early, because I didn’t want to be in my bedroom putting on makeup when Samuel showed up. It was somehow too intimate an activity for a guy I had basically rejected to watch.

Instead, I waited in the living room with my mom. I thought she was oddly quiet, but I was too preoccupied with my upcoming meeting to ask her about it. When I saw the bright headlights of Samuel’s car coming up the driveway, I bounded out of my chair and dashed into the fall evening.

“Hey,” I said, as he walked towards me. I tried not to sigh, but he looked so good it was hard not to react. He wore a black jacket zipped up to his chin, and jeans. He gave me a curt nod.

“How’s it going?” he asked.

“Oh, I’m wonderful,” I said. “Mrs. Roth is going to be as pleasant as a new puppy.”

Samuel shrugged. “Puppies aren’t all that. They lick you and aren’t house-trained. Some have flees.”

“You are obviously a cat person and anyway I would take that over what I’m going to get this evening,” I said emphatically.

He nodded as he sat down next to me on the porch.

“It’s not as cold as I thought it would be,” I said after a while, once I had noticed that I was sitting outside in the Maine October wind and not shivering.

Samuel, who was leaning his forearms on his knees, didn’t say anything. I realized that he was pulling warmth from around us so that I wouldn’t be cold.

“Oh,” I murmured. “Thanks.”

Still, he was quiet.

“How’s Holt?” I asked.

“Fine.”

Super.

“Have you been looking for Logan?” I didn’t want to admit it, but I often imagined Logan being found and getting severely punished.

He made a frustrated sound.

“I just think that if you were looking for him you would have found him by now.” I wondered why I was picking a fight with Samuel, but I didn’t care enough to stop.

He sighed. “What are you getting at?”

“I don’t know.” I jumped to my feet. “I want all this to be over. I’m tired of worrying, I’m tired of not being allowed to see my BOYFRIEND and I’m tired of Fairies blaming me for something that was totally out of my control!”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have done it in the first place,” he said.

Hurt flashed through me. “What are you talking about?”

“You didn’t listen to anyone,” he said. “You and Holt were never meant to be. It’s just not possible. That whole following your heart thing? How has that worked out?”

He looked upset right after he said it, but he couldn’t take it back. I stood staring at him.

“I wanted to be with Holt,” I said carefully. “I hadn’t meant to accept anyone’s Rose any time soon. It’s not like I wanted a wedding before I turned eighteen or graduated from high school.”

That wasn’t strictly true. I hadn’t put much thought into the question of when I wanted to marry and become a Fairy; I had only thought about who I wanted to be with. But the decision had been made for me when Logan tried to kill me. And even if most of me was happy about the outcome, there was a small part of me that still worried.

“It’s not like they would kill one of us, is it?” I asked, my voice small. I was remembering what his grandmother had said.