Autumn Dreams (16 page)

“I’ve got my cell phone,” Cass called over her shoulder to Brenna. “Call if there’s any trouble.”

When he finally got everyone in the car, Dan felt like activating all the baby locks so no one could get out again until he said they could. Instead, he cranked the motor and took off.

The congregation was on its feet when they entered, ready to begin singing. If the first song hadn’t yet been sung, then maybe they weren’t late. Maybe the image of his mother tapping her watch would fade and he could get over feeling he’d broken what amounted to the eleventh commandment.

Dan followed Cass down the aisle to join her parents while the kids sat with friends. He kept his face neutral, but inside he smiled. Something about following this particular woman into the pew pleased him.

It wasn’t that she looked especially lovely in a beige knit outfit with cream at the neck and cuffs, though she did. It wasn’t that her legs looked longer than ever in the tan heels she was wearing. As much as he enjoyed looking at her, there was more to her than that wonderful hair, those hazel eyes, and those great legs. There was an enthusiasm about her, a fine intelligence, a spiritual maturity, a naturalness that appealed to him. Sure she was shy at times, but running together, eating breakfast together, even welcoming guests together had broken down most of those barriers. She was simply Cass, unique and wonderful.

Suddenly the thought of
waiting patiently
didn’t seem so bad after all. If God was in no hurry to reveal His plans, then Dan didn’t have to be in any hurry to leave SeaSong, to leave Cass.

Yesterday a box of his forwarded mail had arrived, sent on to him by the couple staying at his apartment. He’d tossed out all the offers for credit cards, all the pleas for funds for this cause and that ministry, glanced briefly at his bills, and fallen like a starving man on the Morningstar Fund Investor and his other professional journals.

The pleasure he’d gotten, the satisfaction and contentment he felt reading those magazines as he sat in the turret in his little room amazed him. He expected that his love of and attraction to the shifts and currents of the business world, both national and global, would wane as God redirected his life. That was not the case at all. Even reading materials that were dated filled him with that sharp edge of appreciation for the complexities and connections of markets and moneys all over the world.

He read eagerly for information about the more than five hundred companies on which he’d conducted due diligence. Which ones were still healthy and growing? Which ones were showing losses? Which ones were holding their own, looking good to the uninformed investor but screaming warnings to those who recognized that status quo in any organization was in actuality the early sound of its death knell?

Why do I still feel so strongly, Lord? Is it because as yet I haven’t anything to fill the void that leaving my work created? I know a vacuum can’t
exist in nature. It also can’t exist in my life. If being a vet goes
—he smiled as he thought of Cass—
where is what will replace it? And if it’s to go, why do I still feel the challenge and stimulation of that world so intensely?

Now he glanced at Cass, standing next to him at the Chapel, singing to the Lord. She knew who she was. She felt secure in her family and with SeaSong. Of course, she wanted that derelict of a house next door, but basically her life was what she wanted it to be, what she had made it.

She must have felt his gaze because she looked up, a question on her face. He gave her what he hoped was a great smile, and she smiled shyly back, her cheeks flushing slightly. With a little duck of her head, she returned to singing.

Dan’s eyes slid past her to her parents, and immediately he conceded that her life wasn’t so perfect after all. Not that anyone’s ever was, but some people were more pressured or more confused than others. Cass was definitely one of the pressured, thanks to Charlotte and Lew. And Jenn.

He was the confused, something he’d never, ever imagined he would be. How many times had he seen confused CEOs and felt superior? How many times had he given them advice on straightening out their business problems? What if he were one such confused CEO? What advice would he give himself?

Whenever a company was in trouble, relational problems lay at the root of the difficulties, not financial issues like most people thought. It was the wrong person in the job, the unqualified man or woman making decisions education and experience hadn’t prepared him or her for. It was leadership unwilling to hire the best and fire the weak.

Dan grimaced inwardly. He was here in Seaside because of relational problems. The key issue was his poor performance spiritually. He’d survived his early years in business by sheer hard work and grit. He’d become successful if success meant money, position, respect, which it did on one level. He could also term himself a success if by that he meant the satisfying feeling of reaching his goals. He had built the Harmon Group into the premier conductor of due diligence in the city.

Maybe there had been short-term significance when he investigated a company and found it flourishing and well worth investing in, or even when he found a paper tiger and warned clients
away. But companies rose and fell. What was booming yesterday could be risky tomorrow. What was wise counsel today could become fool’s advice next week.

It was becoming more obvious daily that significance was ultimately found in the eternal, and only two things were eternal: God Himself and people.

He glanced at Cass again. By that criterion, she was involved in much that was significant, given her care for her parents, for Jenn and Jared, for Brenna, even for Paulie. It was the messy involvement in people’s lives that held real meaning and brought real praise to God who had invested in people enough to send His Son for them.

Dan was surprised to find the singing finished, and he hastened to take his seat with the rest of the congregation. He watched Pastor Paul step to the pulpit, and Dan opened his Bible to follow along as the pastor read from Habakkuk: “ ‘But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed. Look at the proud! They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked; but the righteous will live by their faith.’ ”

Dan didn’t hear anything else Pastor Paul said. Over and over his mind replayed
slowly, steadily, surely
and
it seems slow
. Did it ever! But the promise was there too.
It will be fulfilled. It will surely take place
. God had something of significance for him to do.

Lord, help me to not rail against the
slowly, steadily, surely
part but remember the
it will surely take place
part
.

He took a deep breath, deep enough that Cass glanced at him to be certain he was all right. He smiled reassuringly at her. For some reason she felt like an anchor, holding him steady in his sea of uncertainties.

After church the same group crowded the same corner at Dante’s, and this week they took Dan’s presence as a given. Mrs. Merton sat across the table from him and asked perceptive questions about why he was here in Seaside.

“October is not the usual vacation time at the Jersey shore, at least not for extended vacations like you’re taking.”

“Yes, well.” He scratched his head, knowing he probably looked as uncomfortable as he felt. It wasn’t that he minded her
questioning him. He didn’t even care whether she was simply curious or trying to ferret out information about the man who sat next to her daughter in church.

“You’re a very choleric young man, aren’t you?” she asked after he fumbled his way through an explanation of
wait patiently
.

“Er, am I?” he asked, uncertain how to react. To him
choleric
meant angry and temperamental, but he didn’t think that was what she had in mind. At least he hoped it wasn’t.

She was as alert and aware as anyone could wish today, her comments cogent, her faculties unimpaired. For the first time he understood why the brothers had a difficult time grasping how bad their mother could be. If you didn’t witness her incidents, how could you believe this vivacious and clever woman was ill?

“I mean that you’re the type of person who is used to being in control,” she explained. “You’re used to calling the shots. A position of power comes easily and naturally to you. You’ve probably always had a feeling that you would achieve, a feeling of destiny even when you didn’t know what that destiny was. Am I right?”

He nodded, impressed. “Defined that way, yes, I am choleric.”

“Then this uncertainty must be driving you crazy.”

“Right over the edge.”

“That’s not surprising. I have several sons who are just as driven as you.”

“I’m trying to change driven to trusting and obeying,” Dan said, resisting the urge to blow the paper from his straw at Cass, who was listening to the conversation with great interest.

“He’s bored,” Cass told her mother. “Desperate for something to do. He’s so restless he played bellhop Friday. He did a pretty good job, too.”

Dan grinned. “It was fun, though I don’t see it as a viable career move. Besides, the night belonged to Cass,” he said. “You would have been proud of her.” He told the story of Mr. Novack and the hair. Cass took over on the Novacks and their Dante’s bill, waving a forkful of coleslaw until Dan was certain it would end up in either her lap or his.

When the coleslaw finally made it to Cass’s mouth, Dan relaxed and ate his hot roast beef sandwich with fries. He had just decided he wouldn’t have any dessert when Will called down the table, “Hey, BB, happy birthday!”

As Dan wondered who BB was, a piece of cake with four candles in it appeared between his and Cass’s shoulders. Their server put it in front of Cass. Everyone at the table began singing, “Happy Birthday, dear Cassandra.” Dan sang along, though he hadn’t known it was her special day.

Cass looked at the cake, shook her head, and grinned as they all sang. People at a couple of nearby tables joined in, and everyone clapped as she blew out the candles.

“I was trying to forget this, you guys.”

“Like we’d let you,” Will said. “The big four-oh. My baby sister is now officially a middle-aged lady.”

Dan looked at Cass, then back at Will. “Middle age never looked so good.”

Will looked momentarily startled. Then he said, “BB, you’ve got a fan.”

Dan glanced at Cass again and saw her color. He grinned. “She does.”

“What do you want for your birthday?” Lucy asked as she passed a small, brightly flowered gift bag stuffed with yellow tissue paper down the table. “Of course, it’s too late to make much difference. As you can see, we’ve already gotten the gift. Still, I’d like to know. Tell me and I’ll tell you what I wanted when I turned forty.”

“In a minute.” Cass took the colorful bag and set it on the table before her. “First things first.” She pulled out the tissue paper, reached into the bag, and drew out an envelope. She opened it, and though she kept her smile in place, somehow Dan knew she was hurt. “Look, everyone. A gift certificate to Home Depot.”

Dan kept his face bland, but he wanted to scowl. What kind of a present was that for a beautiful woman on her birthday? Surely she deserved a personal something when she hit forty.

“Here, Cassandra Marie.” Her mother handed a small, gaily wrapped gift across the table.

“Thanks, Mom, Dad.” Cass blew a kiss at both of them. She slit the paper and pulled out a box. She lifted the lid, and Dan felt the same little disappointment, the same little hesitation in her. She kept her smile and held up gift subscription notices to
TV Guide, Ladies’ Home Journal
, and
Redbook
.

“Your father picked them out all by himself,” Charlotte announced proudly.

Cass smiled at her father who squirmed slightly in his seat.

Jared, Jenn, and the cousins had crowded around the table to watch, and Jenn said, “We’ll give you your gifts on your actual birthday since we’ll see you then.”

“So today’s not the official date?” Dan asked.

She shook her head. “It’s tomorrow.”

Good. There was time for him to get something to show his appreciation for her kindness and generosity. What that should be he had no idea, but hopefully by tomorrow he’d have a brainstorm.

“Now before we all go, I have something for everyone,” Lew said, rising and pulling a plastic grocery bag from under his chair. He started handing out boxes. Dan was startled when Lew stuck one in his face.

“Thanks, Lew. You didn’t have to do this.” Dan opened his box and found a thermometer lying in it. “Just what I need. If I put it on my windowsill, I’ll know how to dress each morning for my jogging.”

The thermometer’s white tube with its black numbers both centigrade and Fahrenheit rested on a jaunty red backdrop. He lifted it and held it up for inspection. As soon as the thermometer was upright, the glass fell off the plastic backing. Dan grabbed for it, but it hit the floor with a
plink
. He picked it up, expecting it to be broken, expecting to have to chase mercury across the floor, and was relieved to find it intact. He quickly placed both pieces in the box before he did something else dumb. He’d get a tube of Krazy Glue tomorrow.

He looked up and caught Lucy in her smart gray suit with the soft pink knit top staring at a wildly patterned blouse in oranges and purples. Will was showing her a plastic mug that read Big Boy. Dan glanced at Cass and saw she had a pen with retractable points, one red ink, one blue, one black. Unfortunately, none of the points would stay down when she tried to write on her paper place mat.

He glanced at the kids’ table where Lew was dispensing his largesse. A miniature soccer ball key ring, a compact that had exaggerated eyelashes drawn on it, a ring that was sized by squeezing the edges together, a ceramic statue of a quite ugly little girl holding a book, and another pen like Cass’s, though on this one
the red point seemed to work. The kids seemed underwhelmed.