Autumn Winds (24 page)

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Authors: Charlotte Hubbard

Tags: #Fiction, #Religious, #Christian, #Romance, #Amish & Mennonite

BOOK: Autumn Winds
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“
Jah
, they weren’t keen on writin’ their alphabets twenty times today after I caught them shootin’ marbles instead of puttin’ away their laundry.” Nazareth leaned down to pluck a ball of silver-gray yarn from the bag. “They’re not bad boys. They just need to be kept busy.”
“And speakin’ of busy,” a familiar voice said from the kitchen doorway, “it looks like quite a sewin’ circle we’ve got goin’ here.”
“Well, Bennie! How are ya, dear?” Nazareth asked.
“
Jah
, Bennie, ya got here just after we stopped gossipin’ about ya!” Jerusalem chortled as though she knew exactly what would happen next. “You and Micah and the boys get that mill business all discussed, did ya?”
Ben entered the front room ahead of Rachel, and Rhoda nipped her lip to keep from smiling; Mamma was grinning like a little girl on Christmas morning as she quickly finished the row she was crocheting.
“Time to set aside the mill business,” he remarked as he walked up behind Mamma’s chair. “It’s a perty night for a ride. I was hopin’ somebody special might join me.”
“
Jah
, I can do that, Ben.” Mamma slipped the end of her crochet hook into her ball of yarn, grinning. “We have our first winner, ain’t so? Don’t wait up, girls. I’m plenty old enough to let myself in.”
Chapter 23
Was there anything more exciting than being picked up by a beau on a moonlit autumn night? The moon, full and round and golden, ruled over a cloudless night sky and beamed down on them as Ben steered Pharaoh over the county highway, away from Willow Ridge. Miriam scooted closer to him, feeling a rush of goose bumps as he put his arm around her.
“And what was goin’ on at that hen party, that ya said ya had a winner?” Ben asked playfully. “It looked like one and all were havin’ a
gut
time, fingers flyin’ almost as fast as the gossip.”
“We were sayin’ it had been too long since we had our
hooks
out. Makes us sound like a dangerous crowd, ain’t so?” Miriam grinned, in too fine a mood to tell everything she knew. “Micah thought better of stayin’ around, knowin’ he was outnumbered by such ruthless women. And that little bit about a winner?” she said in a mysterious whisper. “Well, that’s a contest we crochet clubbers are keepin’ to ourselves. A secret yet to be revealed.”
“Should’ve known you’d say that, considerin’ my aunts are mixed up in it. Thicker than thieves, those two.”
“So where’d ya latch on to this fine courtin’ buggy, Mr. Hooley?” she shot back.
“Changin’ the subject, are we? We’ll see who can keep a secret!” Ben kissed her temple, chuckling. “When Micah thanked me yet again for bringin’ my brothers’ mill business to his shop, I told him he could pay my commission by loanin’ me his fancy new wheels. He said his folks got them the carriage top for their wedding present, but I kinda like open-air rides on a night like this.”
“
Jah
. The frost’ll be gettin’ heavy soon and before ya know it, the snowflakes’ll fly.”
“Which means you’ll ride all snuggled up to me,” he replied with a chuckle. “It’s been my plan all along to get ya outta the house so’s we can talk. Or whatever else comes to mind.”
When she lifted her face to smile at him, Ben kissed her gently on the lips. “I’ve been waitin’ for that,” she murmured. “It’s been a long, long time.”
“I’d better do it again, then. To be sure I get it right. Just the way ya like it, Miriam.” Ben pulled off to the shoulder of the road and then wrapped the reins around the hook. As he lifted her face between his strong, gentle hands, Miriam felt like a girl in her teens again . . . yet this was like nothing she could ever recall with Jesse. Ben seemed as interested in pleasing her as he was in taking his own satisfaction, and wasn’t that a wonderful-
gut
way to romance a woman?
When the lingering kiss ended, Miriam sighed. “I love ya, Ben.”
“And why is that? This blew up between us awful quick, and I want us both to be sure we’re not rushin’ down the wrong road.” His face glowed in the moonlight as he gazed at her. “And since I’m not the first fella you’ve been with, I need to know I’m makin’ ya at least as happy as—”
“Oh, don’t go comparin’ yourself to Jesse Lantz!” she said. “I wasn’t yet nineteen when I married him. As I look back, that wasn’t nearly old enough to know what I was gettin’ into, even though it turned out fine.”
“Do folks in love ever really know what they’re gettin’ into?” he asked softly. “I’ve met a couple women since Polly and thought maybe they were the right ones, but a few months along the way I was relieved to figure out they weren’t—before we made it stick.”
“And how is this time different?” Miriam reached for his hand, loving the way it wrapped around hers, so large and strong, without squeezing too hard. Jesse, too, had been a farrier with hands made sturdy from working with horses and hammering out horseshoes on his anvil. Sometimes he’d had no sense of his own strength when it came to touching her.
“Well,” Ben mused as he clapped the reins on Pharaoh’s back, “for one thing, you’ve already got a place, and now your bakery business . . . so I guess I’m sayin’ you’re not lookin’ to me to make ya a whole new life. Some women have no idea how they’ll get by unless a man comes along to provide them a home and an income. Nothin’ wrong with that. It’s the way most Amish families are. But—”
“It takes the pressure off ya.”
“
Jah
, there’s that. It also means you’re not hangin’ all your hopes on me, sayin’ ya love me outta desperation,” he said after a moment’s thought. “If you’d told me no, ya still have your café and your three girls—and I’m glad they seem to think I’m the sort of fella you should be spendin’ your time with.”
Miriam smiled. “There were months, after Jesse passed, that I did feel downright desperate,” she admitted quietly. “But I’ve been blessed with opportunities a lot of gals don’t get—not to mention three of the best daughters God could ever give a woman. Which brings up somethin’ else we need to talk about, Ben. Because the last thing I ever want to do is disappoint ya or . . . mislead ya.”
His eyebrows rose expressively. “If you’re thinkin’ you’re too old for me—”
“I can’t have any kids for ya, Ben.” Miriam closed her eyes, hoping this wouldn’t spoil their beautiful evening. “That day Rebecca washed away down the river, I was carryin’ my fourth baby. Must’ve been the strain of hurryin’ up the muddy bank with all three of those little girls, scared out of my mind—and then bein’ torn in so many directions when Rebecca broke away to chase a bunny she saw ridin’ on a log, down the current—”
“Oh, Miriam. That had to be the worst nightmare a mother could ever know.” He shuddered, hugging her more tightly. “I’m sorry ya had to go through that—but after all those years went by, ya met up with your lost daughter again. That’s a miracle, plain and simple.”
What a blessing his words were; what a balm to her soul. And it amazed her how easily she was discussing such an emotional—and intimately personal—subject with this man she’d known for only a few weeks. “I miscarried that day. And then I couldn’t seem to have any more children,” she continued in the steadiest voice she could manage. “It . . . it came between Jesse and me. Partly because he was grievin’ for Rebecca—even though he couldn’t put that into words, exactly.”
Miriam sighed, wondering if she should share the biggest heartbreak of her marriage . . . or leave it in the past, buried with her husband. “And it was partly because Jesse felt I should’ve had better control of my girls,” she murmured, “and that I shouldn’t have come lookin’ for him, to warn him that the river might flood while he was fishin’.”
Ben considered this, studying her face as though he couldn’t get enough of looking at her. “That’s a mighty heavy load to lay on your shoulders, Miriam,” he whispered. “And I hope the good Lord above strikes me down if I ever expect ya to bear such a burden. Nobody deserves that sort of guilt.”
Her heart throbbed painfully. Yet oh, how wonderful-
gut
it felt to hear a man recognize an inkling of what she’d gone through. She squeezed his hand harder. “I . . . I just don’t wanna tie ya down, because most fellas marry to start a family—”
“Ya have a family, Miriam. I have my family, too.” He ran a finger along her jaw to make her smile. “We’ve got way too many blessin’s to count, between us, to feel like our life would be lackin’ if children didn’t come along. Not that I don’t intend to try—and try and
try
,” he teased softly.
Miriam’s face went hot. “Well now,” she stammered, “this is the kind of thing younger folks have no idea about when they start out together—”
“Does it bother ya that I’ve never been married, Miriam? No doubt I’ll do things ya don’t like, or do things wrong because I don’t know any better.”
She laughed, loving how the sound floated out into the night as they rolled along the road. “Like your Aunt Jerusalem was sayin’ just before ya knocked on the door, ya probably still stand a
gut
chance of bein’ . . . trainable.”
“Trainable?” he protested.
“And in that respect, it’s nice that ya haven’t been married, used to the way your first wife did things,” Miriam added quickly. “Maybe it’s
you
who’ll have to deal with a woman who runs her home a certain way because her husband expected it.”
“I’ve got the answer to that.”
Ben looked out ahead of them as though watching the road was all he had on his mind . . . as though he expected to give no further explanation of such a statement. For the longest time he ignored the way she squirmed and sighed and waited.
“
And
?” she finally asked, jabbing him in the ribs with her elbow. “Don’t think I’ll let ya get by with havin’ all the answers, Mr. Hooley! I’ve got an answer to
that
, ya know!”
He chuckled until his whole body shook. “I bet my answer’s better.”
“Try me! I’ll be the judge of that.”
Ben gave her the sweetest smile she’d ever seen. “When I was talkin’ to Derek Shotwell after we finished the mill arrangements, I asked him about the price of land and the cost of buildin’ houses hereabouts.”
“But I’ve got a house. And it’s plenty big enough for—”
“And it was Jesse’s house. And you’ve told Rachel and Micah it’s theirs now.”
Miriam raised her eyebrows. “
Jah
, there’s that—not that it’s an unusual situation for two or three generations to live together.”
“But wouldn’t ya like your very own home, Miriam? Wouldn’t ya like to have a say in how your kitchen was set up . . . which way your porch swing faced for the best breeze, or the pertiest view?”
Her heart pounded at this possibility. “I . . . I never thought much about it.”
“Maybe ya should. I intend to marry only once, Miriam. I’d like my home to be a special place where we can be even happier than kids just startin’ out—”
“Instead of livin’ in another man’s shadow? Or havin’ another set of newlyweds in the house?” She smiled. The idea was growing on her . . . glowing inside her. “I like the way ya think, Ben. I’m startin’ to see how latchin’ on to you is probably the finest idea I’ve had since—well, since I started up my bakery and café!”
He chuckled. As they rode in silence for a bit, Miriam’s mind filled with all manner of possibilities and new ideas. It took an unconventional fellow like Ben Hooley to make her realize how many different ways she could look at her life now, even as she kept her traditional faith and remained close to her girls. “So . . . where were ya thinkin’ to build a place?” she asked. “It’s been so handy, walkin’ down my lane to the shop of a mornin’, at any hour I choose to go.”
“And ya still could, if my plans work out the way I’m hopin’. It’s important for me to stay close to my brothers, too, ya know.” Ben shook his head, chuckling again. “And while it’s anybody’s guess what my
maidel
aunts might do, I can’t rule out the possibility that they’ll want to live in Willow Ridge. In case ya haven’t noticed, Aunt Jerusalem took the bishop’s kids under her wing not five minutes after she met them.”
“
Jah
. She said those four goats were for Hiram, but it’s the boys takin’ care of them.”
“Oh, that was her plan all along, when I told her the bishop’s kids needed somebody ridin’ herd on them. She and Aunt Nazareth got a lot of practice at that, bein’ schoolteachers—and bein’ around us boys when we were little.” Ben looked at her, his eyes shining in the moonlight. “But there was no missin’ the way Hiram fell right into step when she gave him his marchin’ orders, either.”
“And who would’ve thought that would ever happen?” Miriam agreed. “Wouldn’t it be a
gut
thing if Hiram got so sidetracked by your aunt that he forgot I was supposed to marry him?”
“I’ve thought that a time or two lately,
jah
.”
Miriam grinned at him, loving the way the moonlight played upon his handsome face. “Do ya really think your Aunt Jerusalem would get hitched at this point in her life? I’m thinkin’ she’s somewhere near sixty.”
“She and Aunt Nazareth don’t discuss their age, but
jah
, they’re within spittin’ distance of sixty. And when it comes to those two gals, I’ve learned never to second-guess them,” Ben replied. “But after all this time of them livin’ together—doin’ everything together—I don’t look for one to get married until the other one’s got her
hooks
in a fella, as well.”
“Hmm. Maybe I could do a little matchmakin’.”
“They got tired of folks tryin’ that, years ago, Miriam,” he said with a laugh. “But who were ya thinkin’ of for Aunt Naz?”
She shrugged, happy to have this little puzzle to work on . . . happier yet to be seated so close to Ben that each time the buggy swayed to Pharaoh’s gait, she bumped against him. “Tom Hostetler would be a mighty fine catch—except, until his former wife passes on, he can’t marry again. Lettie ran out on him with an English fella early last spring, ya know. Divorced him, she did.”
“Divorced Preacher Tom? Why would any woman leave a nice fella like him?” Ben scowled. “He’s got himself a real fine dairy operation . . . perty farm, with prime pastureland for all those black-and-white cows to graze. Nice enough house, from what I saw of it.”
Miriam shrugged. “That’s what all of us wondered. His married kids are scattered around in other Plain settlements, so his girls look in on him and see that he has some meals, and that his laundry is done,” she replied. Her mind raced ahead a bit, matching personality traits between the man and woman in question. “For a while there, we were worried about him. Looked thirty years older, he did, and all tuckered out—like somebody’d been beatin’ him down with a big stick.”

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