Ava XOX (2 page)

DEAR DIARY,

Fifth grade is more complicated than fourth grade. Not just the math.
Everything
. It used to be that Maybelle was my best friend, and Chuck was my best guy friend, and that was that. Now Maybelle hangs out with Zara, and Chuck hangs out with Kelli, and I'm supposed to be okay with it all.

Even gym is complicated because some girls are “developing” and some aren't (like me). I think everyone is a little freaked out. The “mature” kids whose bodies are changing, and the other kids whose bodies are just sitting there. (Or standing or walking or running or whatever.)

Tomorrow we're starting a new class called FLASH. It stands for
F
amily
L
ife
A
nd
S
ocial
H
ealth. The funny thing is that our health teacher's name is Ms.
Sick
le. (Get it?)

It meets every Thursday.

My favorite class, of course, is English. Today Mrs. Lemons showed us something she'd printed from the Internet:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Re-post when you find the mitsake.

I kept looking and looking and was about to say, “I don't see any mistake” when I noticed it was a
spelling
“mitsake”—not a numbers one!

After class, Chuck and I started walking out the door together, the way we always used to, but there was Kelli waiting for him on the other side! I couldn't believe she came to meet him!! You might call that friendly, but I call it stalker-y! (Not that stalkers usually wear sparkly headbands.)

Chuck walked off with Kelli, and Zara looked at me like she could tell I was mad and sad.

Which I was.

Both.

I even mumbled, “I don't get what Chuck sees in her.”

Without waiting a
s
ingle
s
olitary
s
econd, Zara said, “Well, she is pretty. And she's popular.”

Popular? I've never really thought about popularity. Or maybe I thought popularity was something we didn't
have
to think about until puberty, which is something else I don't like to think about.

“And she's a good dancer,” Zara continued. “And she's good at sports. And—”

Was Zara just getting warmed up? I put my hand in the air as if to say, “Stop!” Then I mentioned that in the girls' room, Kelli had applied lip gloss and announced that she likes “the natural look,” and I'd wanted to say, “If you want to look natural, why wear makeup at all?”

Zara laughed, so I added, “I just hope Chuck doesn't get his feelings hurt.”

Zara looked at me sideways as though she wasn't one hundred percent convinced this was my biggest concern.

AVA, CONCERNED

DEAR DIARY,

I just reread the Aesop's fable “Dog in the Manger.” It goes like this:

A dog spends all afternoon napping on a pile of hay in a manger that belongs to an ox. At dusk, the ox comes home, and the dog wakes up. But he doesn't leave; he just stays there and barks and barks. At first, the hungry ox is patient, but finally he says, “Dog, since you aren't even eating my hay, why won't you let me have some?”

The moral: “Don't begrudge others what you yourself are not enjoying.” Which means: don't be a selfish nincompoop for no good reason.

Am I being selfish about the Chuck-and-Kelli thing? It's not like Chuck and I were boyfriend-girlfriend, so why should I care who he goes out with?

Then again, I do care, whether I'm supposed to or not. Whenever I see Chuck, my insides lurch a little.

I went into Pip's room to talk, but she said, “Ava! Look!” and showed me the giant Valentine card she'd just finished for Ben. She'd drawn HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY in big balloon letters, and inside each, she'd glued the cut-out pastel hearts, and inside each of those, she'd written in tiny block letters “BE TRUE” and “YOU & ME” and “CUTIE PIE” and “CUPCAKE” and “SWEET TALK” and even “FIRST KISS.”

She said she used the actual sayings from Sweethearts “conversation hearts”—but did
not
include “TRUE LOVE” because she didn't want to go overboard.

“Ben's going to love it!” I said and tried to feel happy for her instead of bad for me.

Then I wrote AVA and PIP and ANNA and BOB on a piece of paper and held it up to her mirror. “Look!”

“What?”

“My name is the coolest palindrome in our family because it's the only one that looks identical even in the mirror.”

Pip studied the reflected words but shrugged as if it was no big deal, even though it kind of was. “Who cares?” she said.

“I do,” I said and pointed out that WOW is a perfect palindrome too.

Pip shrugged and picked up the novel she was reading and said, “I have only three pages left.” I knew that was code for “See you later, Alligator.” So I took the hint and tried to find Taco because I felt a teeny bit lonely.

I thought of calling Maybelle, but it was too late, and besides, I haven't even told her that I am not happy about Chuck + Kelli. And maybe I shouldn't say anything because it seems like Maybelle + Kelli are becoming friends now too.

I guess everyone is falling under Kelli's sparkly spell—even the new science teacher. We did a unit on space and Kelli told our whole class all about a lunar eclipse she saw on one of her fancy vacations. And the teacher was just beaming.

AVA + TACO

PS Petting Taco helped…until he ran away.

PPS I bet it would be nice to like a boy who liked you back.

PPPS I wish I liked reading as much as Pip does. Whenever she wants to take her mind off things, she can enter a whole new world without even putting her shoes on. I'm a word nerd too, but I like writing more than reading, so the only world I ever hang out in is Misty Oaks.

DEAR DIARY,

At breakfast, Mom asked us to sign a Valentine's card to go with a present for Nana Ethel. In my best handwriting, I wrote:

The Wren Family would like to say:

Happy Happy Valentine's Day!

Pip decorated it with flowers (mostly azaleas) and birds (mostly wrens).

We all four signed, and Pip added a paw print for Taco, and I added an XOX for kiss hug kiss. (Another perfect palindrome.)

Mom said, “Great job!”

But it was
not
a J-O-B. It was a J-O-Y.

Observation: one little letter can make a BIG difference!

I put the card in an envelope and asked if I should tape it on the present. Mom said, “No, tie it on,” and handed me some ribbon.

“Is
that
a palindrome?” I asked and wrote it down: N-O-T-I-E-I-T-O-N. “Whoa! It is!” I announced and showed everyone.

“W-O-W,” Mom said, so I showed her how WOW and MOM and AVA all look the exact same in the mirror, whereas PIP and SIS and DAD do not. She smiled and said, “H-U-H, so they're symmetrical.”

“Cool, right?” I said.

She nodded, and Dad said, “Do you ladies think Dr. Seuss was a word nerd?”

Pip said, “Definitely.”

“Aha!” Dad continued in a teasing way. “But do you think he had Seuss issues?”

Mom and Pip looked puzzled, but I got it and said, “He definitely had Seuss issues! He had serious S-E-U-S-S-I-S-S-U-E-S!!”

Mom laughed and Dad high-fived me.

A-V-A, SYMMETRICAL

DEAR DIARY,

Obviously, I believe in girl power and think girls should dream big and go after their goals, just like boys. But today Kelli wore a bright-pink Girl Power sweatshirt to school, and it bugs me that she acts all
entitled
and as if she
expects
to get whatever she wants.

Emily Sherman said that in third grade, Kelli's mom let her have a party at the Pampered Princess, an hour away. Everyone got manicures and pedicures and facials!

“What's a facial?” I asked.

“It's when someone rubs cream on your cheeks and puts cucumber slices on your eyelids to help you relax.”

“Oh.” I tried to remember third grade. Did I need creams and cucumbers to relax? I'm pretty sure I could relax by jumping rope or watching videos or hanging out with Pip or Maybelle or…Chuck.

Speaking of, at lunch, Kelli sat at a table near ours, and when Chuck walked by, she said, “Chuck! I saved you a seat!” So he sat down with her.

Confession: it took away my appetite.

Zara says Kelli's been saving him a seat on the bus home from school every day too.

Does Chuck even
want
to sit next to Kelli all the time?

Should I ask him?

And why do I care as much as I obviously do?
Do
I like-like my friend Chuck??

In FLASH, Ms. Sickle said feelings can be messy.

I think she's right. It would be easier if when you liked a person, that person liked you back the exact same amount in the exact same way, and that was that.

Ms. Sickle broke us into groups and had us flip through women's magazines. She said we should look for pages that show “mixed and contradictory messages.” At first we didn't know what she meant. But then it was “eye-opening” because the magazines had ads for candy bars and recipes of gooey desserts
right next
to articles on how to “shed pounds fast.” Ms. Sickle said it's hard to “live mindfully” in a world full of temptations, but it's important to try.

AVA, OPEN-EYED?

DEAR DIARY,

There's something I didn't tell you, and now I'm almost embarrassed to, even though you're my private diary. But writing helps, so here goes:

At the end of the day, I had to pee, so I went to the girls' room and dashed in and out and didn't notice that I'd stepped on a piece of toilet paper. I ran to where Pip usually meets me after school, and two older kids were pointing at my feet and smirking. One was Loudmouth Lacey, that girl who wears thick eyeliner and used to pick on Pip. The other was an eighth grader named Rorie who everyone says is mean. (She looks like she could beat people up without even trying.)

Chuck must have noticed, because he came over and mumbled, “TP alert.”

“Huh?” I said. (I did not spell it out.)

He pointed at my left boot, and I glanced down and saw the tissue trail and thought,
OMG! TP?
I mumbled thanks and stepped on the tissue with my right boot. The TP came off, but so did what was left of my
dignity
.

When I looked up, Chuck was gone—probably already on the bus next to Kelli, who would never be caught dead dragging TP around. (Not that
I
was
literally
“caught dead.” I mean, I'm still breathing.)

Anyway, Pip showed up with Tanya, and my face must have been toilet-paper white, because Pip said, “What's the matter?”

All I could say was, “Nothing.”

AVA, NOTHING

PS One of tomorrow's spelling test words is
humiliated
.

DEAR DIARY,

After school, Tanya and Pip worked on their homework poster. So I made a poster too. I made mine for Bates Books, and in my best handwriting, I wrote: “Books are gifts you can open again and again.” I even added, “Buy Local,” because Bea said it drives her parents crazy when people browse for books at their store and then order them online. Mrs. Bates says she wishes they'd worry about “saving their community,” not just “saving every dollar.” She also says bookstores give towns “character,” which is funny since bookstores are full of books that are full of characters.

Anyway, we made popcorn, but Tanya melted half a stick of butter and poured it all over the top, and it ended up
too
buttery.

After Tanya left, I told Pip about the toilet paper, and she said, “That's happened to everybody,” which made me feel better. Then Pip told me what
she
is worrying about. It's way bigger than tagalong TP.

Last week, Pip's Spanish class got divided up into pairs, and one kid from each pair had to reach into a hat and pick out a name of an artist from a Spanish-speaking country. “One kid got Picasso,” Pip said. “Another got Goya. Another got Frida Kahlo. Another got El Greco. Another got Velázquez. And Tanya picked for us and got Botero.” (I had to look up those spellings.)

Pip said each pair of kids is supposed to give a short talk and make a poster of one of their artist's paintings.

“So? What's the
problema
?” (That's “problem” in Spanish.)

“We have to do our presentations during an assembly in front of the whole middle school!”

“But in English, right?”

“Duh.”

“And for kids, not parents, right?”

“Right.”

“You can do it, Pip!” I said, because Pip really has come out of the shell she used to be all scrunched up inside.

Then again, it was still hard to picture Pip talking in front of such a big group.

“It's not just me. It's Tanya.” Pip lowered her voice as if she didn't even want to say what she was about to say. “We were talking about height and weight, and she…she…told me she wears size XXXL.”

I waited. Pip is not the kind of person who judges people on their appearance. She doesn't even judge books by their covers.

Pip pushed her art book toward me. “Look.”

I looked, and it was open to the Botero paintings. Well, it turns out that Botero has a very particular style. Someone could probably walk right into a museum and say, “I bet Botero painted that!” He paints all his subjects larger than life. There was a big round king, and a big round princess, and a big round dancer, and a big round bullfighter. Suddenly I understood the
problema
. Botero paints big people, and Tanya is…not small.

“Oh,” I said.

“I just hope no one says anything,” Pip said. “Tanya's pretty insecure. One of her cousins makes fun of her.”

“That's terrible,” I said.

Pip showed me the poster that they'd finished drawing and coloring. They'd done a really good job copying the
Mona Lisa
. But it was not the
Mona Lisa
that Leonardo da Vinci painted hundreds of years ago. It was a
Mona Lisa
that Botero painted much more recently.

Oh, I'll just come out and say it. Botero's
Mona Lisa
is…
chubby
. Instead of an oval, her face is a circle. Her cheeks and chin and neck are big, and her eyes and nose and mouth are small.

We were both quiet, and I got an idea. “Pip, I could make Tanya a valentine, an anonymous one.”

“Like from a secret admirer?”

“Not lovey-dovey, just nice. And unsigned. Maybe it would boost her confidence?”

“I don't think it's that easy. But sure, if you want.” Pip went back to her homework, and I made a heart-shaped valentine for Tanya that I'm going to sneak into her locker tomorrow. It says:

Happy Valentine's Day to a very sweet person!

I decorated it with red balloons and red lollipops—though I'm not sure you can tell which are which.

AVA, MORE ALTRUISTIC THAN ARTISTIC (
ALTRUISTIC
MEANS WANTING TO HELP)