Avoiding Responsibility (13 page)

Lexi clasped her hands tighter around Ramsey's torso and nuzzled in closer to his warm body. She could feel his taut muscles underneath her grip. A smile spread across her face at the feel of him and she realized, despite her terror, that she was having a good time. She would have never done anything like this, she never
had
done anything like this before.

Just as she was finally getting into a rhythm of the bumps and curves, Ramsey pulled into a clearing. He made a circle around a roaring bonfire, then hit the brakes and killed the engine.

"Did you like it?" Ramsey asked helping her off the bike and setting her carefully back on her wobbly feet.

"Uh…" she managed clamping and unclamping her frozen fingers. "You said you were going to go slow."

Ramsey laughed boisterously at her shocked face before throwing an arm over her shoulders and dragging her closer to the bonfire. "That was slow."

The rest of the group skid to a halt next to Ramsey's Raptor and joined them by the fire.

"Man that was awesome," Brad crowed wandering up to Ramsey and clasping him on the back. "Haven't been up here since the summer."

"Yeah I forgot how killer the ride is," Jason said sidling up to Lexi. "You like it?"

Lexi smiled noncommittally though she had enjoyed herself once she had gotten used to it. The rest of the group seemed to all know each other. A few of the girls giggled about the ride up. One of them reached up and directly kissed a guy staking her claim. They introduced themselves but as soon as they were said she had forgotten them save for one redhead, Jessie, who kept eyeing her warily.

After settling in around the fire, the group began to roast marshmallows for smores and talk about some event that had happened in high school. Lexi wasn't really paying attention to the conversation since she didn't follow more than half the players involved, but she did listen to the next thing that was mentioned.

"Do you remember when you guys came up here after prom and she insisted on wearing that ridiculous long dress on your tiny dirt bike, Bridges?" Jessie asked her eyes shifting from Ramsey to Lexi.

Lexi glanced up at Ramsey who was glaring in Jessie's direction. "Yes I remember," he growled.

"That was a crazy night. I think I was dating Jeff Kensington," she said giggling. "He had such a crush on me. Would have done anything for me."

"I think he did," Brad said with a wink. The group laughed aloud at some private joke.

"Well not compared to…" she began.

"Jess we know the story," Ramsey snapped narrowing his eyes.

"Fine. Whatever," she snapped right back at him, reaching into a cooler, and pulling out a light beer.

Lexi's senses were on end from the conversation and she didn't even know what it had been about. All she knew was that he didn't want to talk about it, and she had a feeling it had something to do with her. She wanted to ask him what that was about, but she couldn't do it in front of all of his friends. This was the second conversation she had overheard about Ramsey with another girl. First his dad and now Jessie. She wondered if they were related…though she doubted it.

After an awkward silence, the conversation picked back up, but Lexi's mind was lost in Jessie's few sentences. Who was the girl that had come up with him after prom? She wasn't naïve enough to believe that they had driven all the way up here for no particular purpose.

A conversation came to her mind that she had with Ramsey when he had come to visit. He had claimed to never have a girlfriend…to never have been in love. Yet, he had snapped so forcefully at Jessie, Lexi couldn't help but wonder about the cause.

She knew there had been women in his life. The conversation had never drifted past that point though. She was still too anxious about her own past to push him to find out about his own. She knew that she would never fully rid herself of Jack. Despite telling him that she was completely over him after his actions, she knew she had only said that to hurt him. She still missed him and her heart ached for him whenever she allowed herself to think about him. They had shared something incomprehensible to most people, and it wasn't to be taken lightly. However, with Ramsey's help she was slowly thinking of him less and less all the while eliminating the baggage that she had always carried around with her. Now that she sat down and thought about it, Lexi realized she hadn't even though about Jack after the past two days of carefree fun with Ramsey.

Feeling Ramsey's fingers gently lace with her own brought her back to reality and she looked up at him and smiled. "What has you so entranced?" he asked her rubbing his thumb against her soft skin.

"I was just wondering," she began hoping to cover up her real thoughts, "why do you have roommates?"

"Hey," Brad said overhearing her question.

"I didn't mean it like that," she said backing up and correcting herself. "I just meant, well, I sound stupid…"

"You mean that I don't need to have roommates," he finished for her.

She nodded. He had all the money in the world. He could live wherever he wanted and do whatever he wanted. There was no need for him to live with two other guys. It didn't make any sense to her. She would have loved the freedom of living alone. Rachelle was great, but she had her habits that drove Lexi off the wall and vice versa. They did it out of necessity, not from choice. Yet, Ramsey had the choice and still he lived with two other guys.

"I don't like living alone," he stated simply. "I've always liked having people around."

"Oh, I guess that makes sense."

Ramsey looked at her for the first time since Jessie had made the comment which had completely altered his typically laid-back attitude. "Come with me," he said pulling her upright.

Lexi's eyes shifted to Jessie whose expression had changed at Ramsey's obvious affections. Her lip was upturned as she gazed upon them with distrust and disgust. Lexi's mouth popped open at the unexpected look, but before she could speak a word in questioning, Ramsey was tugging her in the opposite direction.

As she got farther from the fire, she wrapped her arms tighter around herself to keep from losing any heat. He guided through the woods in the darkness and down a path that she hadn't noticed. She could tell Ramsey had spent a good deal of time on this land with the ease in which he navigated the terrain. "Here we are," he said showing her to a park bench.

Lexi sat willingly unable to keep her teeth from chattering. "This place is beautiful."

"Yeah I love it up here, but I don't get to come up very often anymore with…everything going on," he sat next to her drawing her into his body

"At least you can make time every now and again," she murmured snuggling close.

"Yeah it's worth it," he agreed.

Lexi felt his hot lips press against her ear placing soft kisses down to her earlobe. At that point, he drew the skin between his lips and sucked causing her to shiver all over, but not from the cold. His lips moved to her neck sucking and nibbling until she could feel herself getting warm to her very core.

"Ramsey," she murmured softly causing him to pull back to look at her. When she didn't say anything further, he moved forward capturing her lips in a sensual kiss. He parted her lips with his tongue and began to explore the feel of her. She loved the familiar taste of peppermint that always seemed to permeate from him. A moan escaped her lips and her hands reached out to slide into his jacket. Her nails dug through the shirt and he took the opportunity to pull her into his lap.

As she came up for breath, his hands began to wander up her shirt cupping her breast in his hand. He massaged it through the thin bra she had on under her layers of clothing causing her head to fall back in ecstasy. She found herself grinding against him as he continued to work his magic. He hardened underneath her tempting body. His body couldn't help but react to her even though he knew they were taking it slow, but with the way she was moving it was certainly addling his mind.

Lexi gasped as she felt him beneath her jeans wanting nothing more than to continue where this was headed. However, the thought of stripping down was horrifying in the freezing temperatures. Already her exposed torso was bitterly cold. Despite everything she wanted to do, Lexi pulled back Ramsey's hand and slid her shirt back in place. She moved forward pressing her torso against his chest to gain back some warmth.

"Sooooo…cold," she chattered into his ear.

He chuckled wrapping his arms around her tightly. "I guess forty degree weather isn't the best time to try and seduce you."

"It was your choice to come up here. You set your own terms," Lexi reminded him. Lexi nibbled his ear and shook her hips back and forth just to show him how much she wanted to continue, as well as how much he was missing.

"Now that isn't nice." He gripped her hips tightly between his capable hands causing her to stop her movement.

"Ramsey," she murmured softly.

"Yes?"

"What was Jessie talking about?" she couldn't help but ask. She wanted to kick herself for being nosey. It was none of her business. His past was his past and she couldn't change it. It certainly didn't change how she would view him. Whatever Jessie was talking about was something Ramsey hadn't wanted to discuss. She hated that she had been a fool enough to bring it up especially after he had just admitted to attempting to seduce her. However, she couldn't keep herself from wondering. She couldn't keep herself from asking him either.

"Oh," he mumbled obviously uncomfortable. Lexi waited for him to decide what to do. If he wanted to continue, she would let him take his time. If not, then she would just revel in his warmth in silence. After a minute, Lexi was certain that he wasn't going to say anything, but he sighed and began speaking, "I dated this girl in high school who I took to prom."

"But you said you didn't have any girlfriends," she reminded him. He knew how she felt about lying. It wouldn't look good for him if that was the case.

Ramsey sighed again. "She wasn't my girlfriend. We just went to a lot of stuff together and so I took her to prom. Jessie was just going to tell a story about how we all came up here after prom. She stayed in her big red dress on the four wheeler, and then played Never Have I Ever with the rest of the group. We all learned a lot about each other and it eventually turned into more and…"

"You don't have to tell me the rest," Lexi said her curiosity not sated, but she hated making him sound so forlorn. It was like he was in his own personal hell just talking about it. As if he was ashamed of every word.

"Nah," he muttered moving her back to his side, "it's just I ended up fuck…sleeping with her next to the fire in front of pretty much everyone because she dared me I wouldn't. Everyone thought it was hilarious and never let me live it down when we're up here."

"Oh!" Lexi cried unable to keep the surprise from her face. She didn't care that he had slept with some random girl after prom, but it had still came as a surprise to her. She didn't know him all that well obviously.

"I wouldn't have brought you up here if I'd thought they were going to bring that up," he told her his green eyes glancing hesitantly into Lexi's.

Lexi shook her head. "It's not your fault. You can't change your past."

Ramsey shrugged. "Still didn't really mean for you to hear about me like that."

"As long as there aren't similar surprises continuing to await me then I think we'll be just fine," she told him nuzzling closer again. She felt Ramsey sigh in relief. "And if you'd brought me anywhere else, you might be getting some play right now," she told him cocking an eyebrow.

"Oh yea?" he asked his body coming alive underneath her at the implications.

"I do want you Ramsey Bridges," she told him as a matter-of-fact.

"And you shall have me whenever you like."

"Whenever?" she asked smirking.

"Well as often as possible with you in New York."

"So Ramsey does this make me just another of your girls that you'd take in front of a bonfire with people around?" she asked joking more than anything, though his answer was important to her.

"Oh Lexi,
my
Alexa," he said her name possessively, "you could never be just another one of those girls."

"So…what does that make me?" she asked knowing that she was pushing her luck. She wasn't really looking for any kind of commitment from him, but she couldn't keep herself from asking nonetheless. She did want some kind of definition to their relationship whatever that meant.

Ramsey turned to her capturing her lips in another searing kiss. When he pulled back his look was intense. "I haven't felt like this before Lexi."

Lexi's heart fluttered rapidly in her chest. She could feel her palms beginning to sweat. Her stomach was turning knots in anticipation. Her pulse was working on overdrive. She could feel her throat beginning to dry up as if she had swallowed cotton balls. She didn't know what was coming over her and why she was getting so nervous about one simple question and one simple comment. He hadn't felt this way before. Yet, he felt it about her. She wanted to jump up and down with relief.

"Lexi this might be bold," he began taking her hands in his own, "but I think the casual dating isn't working for me."

Her stomach dropped over from under her. Was he saying that he didn't want to see her anymore. Had she misinterpreted his statement? It hardly made sense with him bringing her up here to meet his friends. That wasn't exactly something you did when you decided you didn't want to date them anymore.

"I just mean that you know this back and forth isn't working for me. I don't like how this is all working out. It's too sporadic and hard to keep up with," he stammered out babbling on like the first time she had officially met him. It was always one of the cutest things about him.

"So what do you want?" she asked confused.

"I want us to be exclusive," he told her confidently. "I don't want to think that you're seeing anyone else. I want to see you as often as I can. I think about you all the time. I couldn't stand to be with anyone else with you on my mind, and I can't imagine you doing that. If I'm wrong, by all means, stop me from continuing, but if not then, please tell me."