Awaken (6 page)

             
“That’s right! You said you’d talked to her before.  Why wouldn’t you be able to talk to her about this too?”  I asked him, hopeful.

             
“I didn’t say I had talked to her, I just said she was happy about you choosing Anastasia.  Someone else had relayed that particular message to me.”  As Willow, Carmen, Phoebe, and I stared at him in confusion, he sighed in defeat and continued.

             
“I can’t talk about anything that I see or hear in the Underworld.  It’s not that I don’t want to.  I physically can’t.” He ran his hands through his hair, clearly uncomfortable.

             
“Oh my God!” Phoebe gasped, “You’ve actually been to the Underworld!?”

             
“Of course he has, he’s the-“ Ian started to explain before Finn shot him a steely look that instantly quieted him. 

             
“I’m not getting into that tonight.  Right now we need to concentrate on Stasia and figure out when she was born.  Unfortunately, this is the only way.” Finn took my hand and squeezed it, but it did little to ease my anxiety surrounding his solution.  The fact that I had been able to see my mother before that first fateful vision had given Finn an idea.  He believed that I could contact her somehow during a reverie and communicate with her.  Obviously, I wasn’t too optimistic about my chance of success, considering I didn’t even know how to control my reveries.   I had no idea how to contact my mom and communicate with her.  The only thing that gave me an ounce of confidence was Finn’s unfailing conviction.  If he believed it would work, I would give it everything I had.  Where that would get us, we’d just have to wait and see.

             
“The first thing we have to do is practice, so that’s what we’re going to do tonight.  I’ll take her down near the lighthouse so that there aren’t any distractions,” Finn maintained.

             
“No way.  We’re going.  What if something happens?” Willow disputed.

             
“The less people around her, the better; and besides tonight will only be practice.  I promise she’ll be fine.  You have my word,” Finn declared.  Willow sat back, but crossed her arms; not completely convinced.

             
“You guys, I’ll be fine, really.  Chances are I won’t be able to do it anyway, so you’d just end up getting really bored watching me sleep,” I quipped, hoping to elicit some smiles, but my roommates weren’t finding the humor in the situation. 

             
“Tomorrow night, when we try it for real, you all can be there.  But tonight she needs to concentrate,” Finn attested.  He stood abruptly and walked towards the kitchen, signaling there would be no further discussion. 

             
“So, what are the rest of us going to do tonight?” Phoebe’s green eyes lit up as she surveying everyone else.  I took the opportunity to go after Finn.  The whole contacting-my-mom-thing didn’t damper the fact that I was going to spend time with him on the beach all night.  I discovered him in the hall collecting blankets from the walk-in linen closet.

             
“You ready?” he smiled at me with obvious enthusiasm.  I could tell he had no doubt I would be successful.  I wished I felt the same way.

             
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

              “Control is all about awareness.  You have to be cognizant of everything around you at all times; that means your body and especially your soul.”  Finn and I had arrived at the Cape just after sunset.  Traces of orange and pink still enveloped the sky, but the world around us had grown increasingly lurid.  I made sure to inspect the beach for any signs of unwanted, bleeding ghosts.  So far, so good. I really wanted to mention it to Finn, but I didn’t want him to think I was completely unstable.  Ghosts weren’t real!  I was probably just hallucinating.  Maybe I’d had a mild sun stroke?  It could happen.  I wiped her ghoulish face out of my mind and tried to focus on the task at hand.

             
  The night air was heavy with moisture, with only a slight breeze blowing in from the ocean.  Brilliant stars sparkled down on us from above, silently observing my first of many lessons.  We sat Indian-style; facing each other on a soft fleece blanket just below the sand dunes of the beach.  The imposing Cape Lookout lighthouse stood to my left, hypnotizing me with the slow rhythm of its revolving light that methodically scanned the ocean.  To understand exactly what I was about to attempt, Finn was in the process of telling me exactly how reveries work. He held my hand in his as the skull and crossbones trace on his forearm shimmered in the light of the stars.

             
“Close your eyes.”

             
“Close my eyes?” Was I going to sleep already?  He nodded, so I shut them and tried to sit up straighter in hopes that I would be prepared for whatever he was about to throw my way.

             
“Now tell me what you see,” he instructed.

             
“Um…nothing,” I heard him snicker.  I frowned but kept my eyes closed.

             
“Just because you have your eyes closed, doesn’t necessarily mean your eyes have stopped seeing.  So, try again.  Tell me what you see.”  After a long moment of awkward silence, a flash of light swept across my eyelids and they flew open.

             
“The lighthouse!  I could see its light!”

             
“Good, now close your eyes again, but this time tell me what you hear,” he told me calmly.  I listened closely, but the sound of the ocean drowned out the possibility of hearing anything else.

             
“I just hear the waves crashing.”

             
“Good, now tell me what you feel,” he prompted without missing a beat.  I concentrated on my bare skin that was in direct contact with my surroundings.

             
“The softness of the sand…and the wind,” I claimed, opening my eyes again.  I took notice of how oddly exposed I felt with my eyes closed.

             
“Good.  Just like humans, your five senses are attached to your physical body.  So, when you want your soul to be in your body, you concentrate on those five physical senses.  Whether it’s sight, touch, or hearing, latch on to whichever one is strongest at the time,” he paused to make sure I understood, then continued. “But with the addition of essence to our souls, we have another sense that humans don’t have.”

             
“We do?” Things like spidey vision and sonic hearing ran through my thoughts.

             
“You’ve been using it all along, you just didn’t know it,” he revealed. He threaded his warm fingers through mine; sending tingles across my skin.  His features softened and he suddenly appeared more vulnerable. 

             
“What do you…sense about me?” he requested shyly. I automatically diverted my eyes to the patch of blanket between us.  I had a feeling that incredibly sexy, alluring and good-looking weren’t the answers he was looking for, but they were exactly what came to mind.  My heart began to beat wildly as I searched for a way to describe what I ‘sensed’ about him without sounding like an obsessed groupie.  I closed my eyes like I had with the other senses and opened my mind. 

             
“The main thing I sense is…darkness.” As soon as the words were out I realized how awful they sounded, so I rushed to clarify, “But it’s not a bad darkness.  It’s more like a warm-summer-night kind of darkness, not the monster-under-the-bed kind of darkness.”  Wow.  Great explanation…for a six year old. I should have stuck with sexy, alluring, and good-looking.

             
“Monster under the bed?”  he remarked, seeming to enjoy my obvious discomfort.  I began to describe how I used to take a running start and jump on my bed in order to avoid the monster that was surely lurking underneath, waiting for the opportune time to grab my ankles and eat me alive.  Thankfully, before I could embarrass myself further, he continued.

             
“So how exactly do you sense that darkness?” He arched a dark eyebrow at me.

             
“I….feel it.  Not in the same way that I feel the sand or the wind.  I just…know it’s there.”

             
“Jackpot.  That’s your other sense kicking in,” he smiled at me with pride.  I pondered whether or not my ‘other sense’ included
seeing
darkness as well.  Nadia’s darkness was definitely the monster-under-the-bed kind.  Before I could ask, he rose to his knees; eyes gleaming with excitement.               

             
“Time to practice, Pasha.”

             
Ignoring the turmoil growing in my stomach, I positioned myself on my back and gazed up at the stars with consternation.  Finn crawled around to the crown of my head; simultaneously erupting into a fit of laughter.

             
“You might want to try and relax.  It works better that way,” he sneered down at me.

             
I glared up at him, “Go ahead and laugh, but you aren’t the one sprawled out on a blanket like a science experiment.”  Still smiling, he leaned down and lightly kissed me on the forehead.

             
“You’ve done this a dozen times, there’s nothing to worry about.  I promise.” He ran his fingers gently through my hair, “I’ll be right here the whole time.”

             
“Promise?” I peeked up at him, requiring a little more reassurance.

             
“I promise,” he assured me.  Satisfied, I closed my eyes and commenced to taking long, deep breaths. “First thing I want you to practice is separating your soul from your body, but not letting it go anywhere.  Since you know it’s going to happen, try to relax your mind and allow yourself to let go.  If you don’t wake up in five minutes, I’ll wake you up.”

             
“Okay, but usually, I just wake up somewhere else during the reverie.  I don’t ever remember separating from my body.”

             
“This time you’re doing it voluntarily, so you should be able to remember the experience.  Now, try and relax.”  I focused my ears on the roar of the ocean and allowed the soft wind to caress my skin.  Feeling Finn’s eyes on me, I cracked an eye and observed him.

             
“I can see your nose hairs.” 

             
“I bet closing your eyes would help.”

             
“I can see your Adams apple, too,” I said, suppressing a giggle.

             
“You’re about to see me tickle you if you don’t close your eyes and concentrate,” he threatened me with an incorrigible smile.  When I failed to do so, he lunged forward, convincing me he was going to launch a full blown tickle attack. 

             
“Okay!  Okay!  I’ll close my eyes, I’ll do it! I’ll do it!” I squealed and attempted to squirm away from his torturous hands that were hovering precariously above my stomach.  After my giggles died down, Finn continued to run his fingertips through my hair and I finally felt my body relax.  I listened to my own breathing and felt my conscious mind center as it began to grow numb with sleep.  I forced myself to direct my focus inward, and automatically endured a slight dizzying sensation.  My immediate response was to steady myself in order to curb the uncomfortable feeling, but I made myself endure and give into the weirdness.  As I continued to spin, I let go absolutely; quickly sinking.  I descended farther and farther until I was simply suspended in a world of weightlessness.  I hesitantly opened my eyes.

             
  Stars.  I failed.  I was still lying on my back staring at the sky trying to go to sleep.  But if that was the case, why did I feel so light all of a sudden?  I tentatively sat up and scanned my surroundings.  I wasn’t on the beach anymore. Odd. I was…above it.  I steeled myself and peered down.  What I saw would remain with me for the rest of my life.  It was as unsettling as it was miraculous.  My body lay peaceful and unmoving below; eyes closed.  Finn was observing my face intently, still clutching my hand.  It melted my heart and made me smile down at him lovingly.  Suddenly, I began to move.  Finn and my body continued to grow smaller and smaller as the ocean spread out before me.  Where was I going?  I wasn’t supposed to go anywhere!  I needed to go back!  As panic raced through my veins, I tried to remember what Finn had told me.  Senses.  Something about senses.  I closed my eyes and listened.  All I could hear was the sound of wind as I flew out over the water.  I listened harder, but couldn’t hear anything else.  I opened my eyes and looked for the lighthouse’s revolving light.  Where was it?  Was I too far away already?  Feel.  What did I feel?  Finn had been holding my hand.  I looked down at my hand and tried to feel his palm in mine.  I closed my eyes, concentrating harder.  Warmth.  A soothing touch.  I could feel it.  I squeezed it to make sure I wasn’t imagining things.

             
“I did it!” I shot up; filled with overwhelming elation, “I did it!” I turned to face him and launched myself into his open arms.  Laughing, he tumbled backwards and hugged me back while I continued, “I saw my body!  And I saw you!  I did like you said and concentrated on my senses to get back to my body.  I felt your hand and all of a sudden I was back!”

             
“Never a doubt in my mind,” he kissed me, and then carefully brought me back down to reality with his soothing words. “Now, let’s see if you can take it one step further.”

             
I collected myself as much as I could, then sat back down and faced him with eagerness.  “Okay, what’s next, Professor?”

             
“Next is purposefully going somewhere.  We’ll need to pick a place relatively close so that you can practice directing your soul and also coming back to your body at will.”

             
“Would Bald Head be considered relatively close?” I proposed, but he shook his head in disagreement.

             
“Let’s start with the yacht.   If that goes well, you can try Bald Head.”

             
“I can live with that,” I conceded.  This time as I lay back down and gazed up into Finn’s eyes, relaxing my body came much easier to me.  After several minutes, I began to feel the numbness, the dizziness and sinking, and then finally the weightlessness. 

             
Stars.  Again.  But this time I knew right away.  I remembered that the lightness meant I had succeeded in separating from my body.  I immediately sat up, glanced down and saw my body lying below me with Finn once again holding my hand.  Infused with excitement, I scanned the water in search of the yacht.  I could just make out the white hull in the distance.  Keeping my eyes locked on the yacht and concentrating on moving towards it, I felt a pull in that general direction.  I glanced down to witness the ocean blurring beneath me as I picked up speed.  As the yacht began to get closer and closer, I started to panic.  How did I slow down?  What if I hit the boat?  Then what happened?  Unfortunately, I didn’t have a chance to find out as I reached the boat and proceeded to fly right past it.  The pull I felt became stronger; holding me hostage and increasing my speed.  The dark water below me and the star filled sky above melted together into one continuous blur.  I had no idea where I was headed, but I knew one thing for certain: I was no longer in control.  My head exploded with pain and the world went completely black.