Awakened (17 page)

“How do I prove she was responsible?”

“You cannot. The deed is over. Her debt is paid.”

“Damn it! I’m so dang mad I could spit nails! Neferet keeps gettin’ away with all of this awful crap. She keeps winnin’. I don’t understand why. It’s not right, Rephaim. It’s just not right.” Stevie Rae blinked hard, forcing back tears of frustration.

For a moment, Rephaim touched her shoulder and she allowed herself to lean into his hand, to take comfort in the contact with him. Then he pulled back from her and said, “All that anger. All that frustration and sadness. I felt it from you earlier tonight, too, and I thought—” He hesitated, obviously trying to decide whether to keep speaking.

“What?” she asked softly. “You thought what?”

He met her eyes again. “I thought it was me you hated. Me you were so angry at. I heard you, too. You told the Sword Master tainted, unredeemable Darkness lurked outside. You were looking straight at me when you said it.”

Stevie Rae nodded. “Yeah, I saw you, and I knew if I didn’t say somethin’ to get Dragon and Damien outta there, they were gonna see you, too.”

“Then you were not talking about me?”

It was Stevie Rae’s turn to hesitate. She sighed. “I was seriously pissed and scared and upset. I wasn’t thinkin’ ’bout my words. I was just reacting ’cause I was freaked.” She paused again and then added, “I didn’t mean nothin’ against you, but Rephaim, I do need to know what’s goin’ on with Kalona and Neferet.”

Rephaim turned and walked slowly to the edge of the rooftop. She followed him and stood beside him as they stared out at the quiet night.

“It’s almost dawn,” Rephaim said.

Stevie Rae shrugged. “I got about half an hour before the sun rises. It’ll only take ten minutes or so to get back to the school.”

“You should leave now and not take any chances. The sun can cause you too much damage, even with my blood inside you.”

“I know. I’ll go pretty soon.” Stevie Rae sighed. “So, you’re not gonna tell me what’s up with your daddy, are you?”

He turned to look at her again. “What would you think of me if you knew I betrayed my father?”

“He’s not a good guy, Rephaim. He’s not worth your protection.”

“But he
is
my father,” Rephaim said.

Stevie Rae thought Rephaim sounded exhausted. She wanted to take his hand, to tell him it’d be okay. But she couldn’t. How the heck was it going to be okay with him on one side and her on the other? “I can’t fight against that,” she finally said. “You’re gonna have to come to terms with what Kalona is and isn’t yourself. But you need to understand that I have to keep my people safe, and I know he’s workin’ right beside Neferet, no matter what she says.”

“My father is bound to her!” Rephaim blurted.

“What do you mean?”

“He didn’t kill Zoey, so he didn’t fulfill his oath to Neferet, and now the Tsi Sgili holds dominion over his immortal soul.”

“Oh, great! So Kalona is like a loaded gun Neferet is holding.”

Rephaim shook his head. “He should be, but my father does not serve others well. He chafes uneasily under her command. I believe the analogy would be more accurate if you said that Father is like a
misfiring
loaded gun Neferet is holding.”

“You’re gonna have to be more specific than that. Give me an example—what do you mean?” She tried to keep the excitement from her voice, but by the way his eyes closed off from her, Stevie Rae knew she’d been unsuccessful.

“I will not betray him.”

“Okay, fine. I get that. But does that mean you can’t help me?”

Rephaim stared at her silently so long she thought he wasn’t going to answer, and she was trying to formulate another question in her head when he finally said, “I want to help you, and I will as long as it doesn’t mean betraying my father.”

“That’s a lot like the first deal you and I made, and that didn’t end up so bad, did it?” she asked, smiling up at him.

“No, not so bad.”

“And, really, aren’t we all basically against Neferet?”

“I am,” he said firmly.

“And your daddy?”

“He wants to be rid of her control.”

“Well, that’s practically the same thing as bein’ on our side.”

“I can’t be on your side, Stevie Rae. You have to remember that.”

“So you’d fight against me?” She met his gaze squarely.

“I could not hurt you.”

“Well, then—”

“No,” he interrupted. “Not being able to hurt you is different than fighting for you.”

“You’d fight for me. You already have.”

Rephaim grabbed her hand, squeezing it as if through touch he could make her understand him. “I’ve never fought my father for you.”

“Rephaim, do you remember that boy we saw in the fountain?” She changed his grip on her hand and threaded her fingers with his.

He didn’t speak. He only nodded.

“You know he’s inside you, don’t you?”

Again, Rephaim nodded, this time slowly and hesitantly.

“That boy inside you is your mama’s son. Not Kalona’s. Don’t forget about her. And don’t forget about that boy and what he’d fight for, too. Okay?”

Before Rephaim could reply, Stevie Rae’s phone rang with Miranda Lambert’s “Only Prettier.” She dropped Rephaim’s hand and groped in her pocket for it, saying “That’s Z’s ringtone! I have to talk to her. She doesn’t know about Jack yet.”

Before she could press the answer button, Rephaim’s hand caught hers. “Zoey needs to return to Tulsa. That’s one way all of us can fight Neferet. The Tsi Sgili hates Zoey, and her presence here will be a distraction.”

“A distraction from what?” Stevie Rae asked just before she hit the answer button and spoke quickly into the phone, saying, “Z, hang on. I gotta tell you something important but I need a sec.”

Zoey’s voice came through the line sounding like she was talking from the bottom of a well. “No problem, but call me back, ’kay? I’m seriously roaming.”

“Will do in two shakes of a dead cat’s tail,” Stevie Rae said.

“Do you know how gross that sounds?”

Stevie Rae smiled into the phone. “Yep and bye.”

“You mean yuck and bye. Talk to you in a sec.”

The line disconnected and Stevie Rae looked up at Rephaim. “So explain about Neferet.”

“My father wishes to discover a way to sever the bonds that tie him to Neferet. To do so, he’ll need her to be distracted. Her obsession with Zoey is an excellent distraction, as is her desire to use the rogue red fledglings in her war with humans.”

Stevie Rae’s brows went up. “There isn’t any war going on between vampyres and humans.”

“If Neferet’s will is done, there will be.”

“Okay, well, we’ll have to be sure that doesn’t happen. Looks like Z really does need to get home.”

“They want to use you, too,” Rephaim blurted.

“Huh? Who’s they? Me? For what?”

Rephaim looked away from her and spoke very quickly. “Neferet and Father. They don’t believe you’ve firmly chosen the way of the Goddess. They think you could be persuaded to move to the side of Darkness.”

“Rephaim, there is not even one tiny small chance of that. I’m not perfect. I have my issues. But I chose Nyx and Light when I regained my humanity. I’m never gonna change that choice.”

“I have never doubted that, Stevie Rae, but they do not know you as I do.”

“And Neferet and Kalona can never find out about us, either, can they?”

“It would be very bad if they did.”

“Very bad for you or for me?”

“For both of us.”

Stevie Rae sighed. “Okay, so I’ll be careful.” She touched his arm. “You be careful, too.”

He nodded. “You should start back. Call Zoey as you drive. Dawn is too close.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” she said, but neither of them moved.

“And I must get back,” he said, as if trying to convince himself.

“Wait, you aren’t staying here anymore?”

“No. The ice storm has passed and there are too many humans about the grounds now.”

“Well, where are you?”

“Stevie Rae, I cannot tell you that!”

“Because you’re with your daddy, right?” When he didn’t speak she continued. “Hey, it’s not like I didn’t already know it was totally b.s. when Neferet announced the whole hundred-lashes-and-banish-Kalona-for-a-century punishment.”

“She did have him lashed. The threads of Darkness cut him one hundred times.”

Stevie Rae shivered, remembered how awful just the touch of one of those threads had been. “Well, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.” She met Rephaim’s eyes. “But the part about him being banished from Neferet’s side for a century is b.s., right?”

Rephaim gave a quick, almost imperceptible nod.

“And you won’t tell me where you’re stayin’ because that’s where your Kalona’s stayin’, too?”

He gave another slight nod.

She sighed again. “So if I need to see you I gotta go lurk around some scary old building somewhere or somethin’?”

“No! You stay safe and in public places. Stevie Rae, if you need me come here and call me as you did tonight. Promise me that you won’t go out trying to find me,” he said, giving her arm a little shake.

“Okay, okay. I promise. But this worried-about-you thing goes both ways. Rephaim, I know he’s your daddy, but he’s also into some bad stuff. I just don’t want him to take you down with him. So be careful, ’kay?”

“I will be careful,” he said. “Stevie Rae, tonight I saw the rogue red fledglings. They are making their nest at Will Rogers High School. Dallas has joined them.”

“Rephaim, please don’t tell Kalona and Neferet.”

“Why, so you can show them kindness and humanity and they can have another opportunity to kill you?” he shouted at her.

“No! Just ’cause I try to be nice doesn’t mean I’m stupid
or
weak. Jeeze, what is it with you and Aphrodite? I wouldn’t run off to talk to them all alone. Heck, Rephaim, I wouldn’t try to reason with them at all. I already proved that won’t work. Whatever I’d do would be with Lenobia and Dragon and Z, at the very least. Basically, I just don’t want them joining Neferet, so I don’t want her to know ’bout them.”

“It is too late. It was Neferet who put me on their trail tonight. Stevie Rae, I’m asking you to stay away from the rogue reds. They mean nothing but doom for you.”

“I’ll be careful. I already told you I would. But I’m a High Priestess and the red fledglings are my responsibility.”

“The ones who have chosen Darkness are not your responsibility. And Dallas is no longer a fledgling. He is not your responsibility.”

Stevie Rae’s smile was crooked. “Are you jealous of Dallas?”

“Do not be ridiculous. I simply don’t want to see you hurt again. Stop changing the subject.”

“Hey, Dallas isn’t my boyfriend anymore,” she said.

“I know that.”

“Are ya sure?”

“Yes. Of course.” He shook himself and his wings unfurled. Stevie Rae’s breath caught as she watched him. “Call your Zoey as you drive back to the safety of the school. I will see you again soon.”

“Stay safe, ’kay?”

He turned to her and cupped her face in his hand. Stevie Rae closed her eyes and stood there, taking comfort and strength from his touch. Too soon it was gone. Too soon he was gone. She opened her eyes to watch his majestic wings beat against the night air and lift him higher, higher, until he disappeared into the barely discernable lightening of the eastern sky.

Rephaim had been right. It was too close to dawn for comfort. Stevie Rae hit redial as she hurried through the deserted mansion and back to the Bug.

“Hey, Z. It’s me. I got some hard stuff to tell you, so brace yourself…”

“Z? Are you still there? Are you okay? Say somethin’.”

The worry in Stevie Rae’s voice made me wipe the snot and tears from my face with the sleeve of my shirt and kinda sorta pull myself together. “I’m here. N-not okay, though,” I said with a little hiccup.

“I know, I know. It’s terrible.”

“And there’s no chance of a mistake? Jack’s really dead?” I knew in my heart it was ridiculous to cross my fingers and close my eyes when I asked, but I had to give it one silly little-girl try.
Please, please don’t let it be true …

“He’s really dead,” Stevie Rae said through her own tears. “There’s no mistake, Z.”

“It’s so hard to believe, and it’s just not fair!” It felt good to get mad, better than breaking down in completely useless snot and tears. “Jack was the sweetest guy in the world. He didn’t deserve what happened to him.”

“No,” Stevie Rae said in a shaky voice. “He didn’t deserve it.
I-I
wanna believe Nyx has him and is takin’ care of him real good. You’ve been there—to the Otherworld, I mean. Is it true that it’s wonderful there?”

Her question tugged at my heart. “I know we’ve never talked about it, but didn’t you go there,
before,
you know, when you—”

“No!” she said as if she wanted to cut off my words. “I don’t remember much from that time, but I do know I wasn’t anywhere nice. And I didn’t see Nyx.”

The words came to me as I began to speak and I knew in my soul that Nyx was talking through me. “Stevie Rae, when you died Nyx was with you. You’re her daughter. You have to remember that always. I don’t know why you and the other kids died and un-died, but I can tell you that I am one hundred percent sure Nyx never abandoned you. You just took a different path than Jack. He is in the Otherworld with the Goddess, and he’s happier than he’s ever been in his life. It’s hard for those of us back here to understand, but I saw it with Heath. For whatever reason, it was Heath’s time to die this go-round, and he belonged there, with Nyx. Just like Jack belongs there, too, now. I know in my heart that they are both completely at peace.”

“Promise?”

“Absolutely. We have to be strong for each other back here, though, and believe we’ll see them again someday.”

“If you say it, then I’ll believe it, Z,” she said, her voice sounding better. “You really need to come home. It’s not just me who needs to hear your High Priestess everything’s-gonna-be-okay speech.”

“Damien’s pretty bad, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m worried ’bout him, and the Twins, and the rest of the kids. Heck, Z, I’m even worried ’bout Dragon. It’s like the whole world is drownin’ in sadness.”