Awakened Desires (45 page)

Quinn was standing at the kitchenette nursing a bottle of water when she locked eyes with Josie. Levi came in shortly after, looking self-conscious. “What happened?” Quinn wasn’t sure that she wanted an answer to her question.

“He and Levi had a…minor disagreement.”

Quinn looked up at the ceiling and threw her arms up in the air. “What now?” she yelled.

“Levi was acting accusatory and it pissed him off. Levi even accused him of killing Reid instead of helping him.”

“What?!” Mitch asked as he stood up.

“Levi accused Gunther of killing Reid.”

“Wow. I’m pretty sure he didn’t do anything Reid didn’t ask him to do. You didn’t see him when I drug him out of there. He was a mess.”

Mitch was supporting Gunther, which made Levi wary. It was a change in the dynamic of the group. Levi almost thought that Mitch’s fear of Gunther was what made him jump to his immediate defense.

“He would
never
hurt anyone unless there was just cause.” Quinn was firm in her statement. “How dare you, Levi? What possessed you to say those things to him?” She knew Gunther better than anyone else. Probably better than he knew himself. “I can’t believe you would accuse him of that! You, of all people! You have no idea how torn up he is on the inside. He is tortured. He has cried many nights over whether or not he made the right choice.” Her voice cracked.

Josie rushed to her. “Please, don’t get upset,” Josie begged. Gunther heard Quinn upset, all hell would break loose.

“How can I not? You have some nerve, Levi!” she screeched.

Gunther ripped open the bedroom door, causing everyone to look his way. His eyes were cold and full of rage. “Both of you…now!” Josie and Quinn both rushed into the bedroom and he slammed the door again.

“So he snaps his fingers and they rush to his side?” Eve chuckled a little. “Controlling much?” she mumbled to herself.

“We are leaving tonight,” I quipped as I slammed the door to the bedroom.

“We can’t leave at night!”

“What the fuck does it matter, Quinn?!” I yelled.

“I guess it doesn’t. And don’t yell at me,” she mumbled. “I didn’t do anything to deserve it. I’m sick of the yelling.” She balled up her fists at her sides.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. I’m just really frustrated and angry. Start packing.” I pushed past Quinn and ripped the door open, running right into Mitch. I tried to dodge past him, but he kept stepping in front of me. Fucker was pissing me off. “Get the fuck out of my way before I move you myself,” I growled.

“Just calm down for a second.” Mitch held up his hands in front of his chest, scared of confronting me. He fully knew of what I was capable.

I jammed my finger into his chest. “Fuck you.”

“Listen…I’m trying to be on your side, but you are making it very difficult,” Mitch said.

“What then? What epic brilliance do you have to share?”

“You don’t have to leave.
We
will leave. Obviously, we’ve been cooped up far too long together, and we were the ones who barged in on your family.”

“No. You don’t have a vehicle. I do. You can stay. Besides, I’m sick of this shithole. I’d rather sleep in my truck than spend another night in this fucking place.” I stalked over to the supplies and began sorting out what we would be taking.

“Well, if you want to go, the very least I can do is help you pack.” Mitch knelt down and began gathering together what I was pulling out. I appreciated his help, even though I wanted to bash his blasted face into the floor.

“Gunther…” The sound of Levi’s voice infuriated me. I had a bottle of water in my hand and when I threw against the wall, it exploded, spraying water everywhere. It just missed Janny’s head.

“Levi, don’t.” Mitch stood up. “It’s not worth it. You
do
remember what he did to me, right?” Levi nodded at Mitch confirming, in my mind, that Mitch feared me. He turned around and quietly walked over to Janny, who was shaken by the minor confrontation.

Quinn came out with my pack and another bag that held some of our belongings. I grabbed the pack and put it on, just in case someone became nosey. I wouldn’t have put it past them. Then I started stacking our stuff by the door.

The rest of the group was just standing there, watching me work at a feverish pace. I was in program mode. Quinn and Josie knew to stay out of my way when I was working like that. It was easier for everyone.

After about a half-hour of sorting and talking with Quinn about what we needed to take with us, I said, “Well, that looks like everything we need.” I stood looking at the pile, then turned to the love of my life. “I just need to do a weapons check and we will get going.” She nodded.

I began checking all of the weapons we would be taking with us, reloading what I could. Mitch and Eve helped Quinn and Josie pack up the truck.

While they were still outside organizing the supplies in the truck, Mitch pulled Quinn aside. Josie carefully watched the exchange. “I just want to apologize. What I did was wrong. I deserved everything Gunther did to me. So please, I beg you, accept my apology. You are a great family and I wish I had the same. Take care and I wish you a safe journey.” Mitch smiled.

Quinn stood in silence for a moment. “Thank you. I wish you well, too.” She turned around and walked away, leaving Mitch standing alone with Quinn’s cold attitude still hanging over him like a dense fog. She felt he was being sincere, but she hadn’t forgotten that he shot Gunther and tried to kill her.

I walked out and saw Quinn walking away from Mitch. I strode up to her. “Did he try anything? Because right now…”

She interrupted, “No. It’s fine. He was just apologizing.”

I cupped Quinn’s face in my hands. My touch and the chill in the air made her shiver. “Are you sure you’re fine?” Quinn nodded. I kissed her on the forehead. “I’ll kill him in honor of my love.” She gasped. I chuckled a little. “I’m sorry I’ve been acting so mental.”

Quinn smiled. “I don’t expect anything less from you.”
Truth. God, I love her.
I smirked and wrapped my arm around her to give her a quick hug. Breaking our embrace, I headed for the truck to start organizing things for easy access.

Gunther left her standing there while he organized what he wanted within reach while he was driving. Quinn watched him work. There wasn’t a single movement that wasn’t pre-determined. It absolutely broke her heart.

One minute he was the tender, loving man that she knew; the next, he was back to program mode…emotionless, calculated, and mechanical. She didn’t know how much longer she could bear to watch that happen in front of her.

Quinn put her hands over her mouth, trying to suppress her emotions. The tears began streaming down her cheeks and over her fingers. Josie looked at her, then at Gunther. Hoping he didn’t notice, she quickly walked toward her. “Hey. Come here.” Josie grabbed Quinn’s arm and guided her to the side of the shack and out of sight. “What’s wrong?” Josie waved her hands in front of her face. “Earth to Momma Quinn…talk to me.” She sat down, leaning against the house and trying to stop herself from collapsing into a pool of tears. “I want to help you, but I can’t if you don’t tell me what’s wrong. Do you want to stay? If so, we can probably talk him into staying.”

Quinn swallowed hard, forcing her sorrow down. “It’s him. I can’t get over it. I can’t get over what they did to him. He is so broken, and I don’t know how to help him.”

“You can only do what you have been doing, which is so much already.”

“It’s so hard to watch. He knows he is messed up, but he doesn’t realize how bad. If I ever come across that Roger asshole, you better believe I will not feel bad about pulling the trigger.” Quinn wiped away her tears. “I don’t want him to see me upset. It will just make him hate himself more than he already does. He’s so amazing, Josie. I love him so very much, but my heart bleeds for him.”

Josie stood up and held out her hand, pulling Quinn up. “I know. It’s horrible, but you are doing everything you can to help him. Look how far he has come just from you loving him.” Josie reached out and wiped Quinn’s face. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.” They stepped around the corner of the shack, almost running into Gunther.

I looked around, but I didn’t see Quinn or Josie anywhere. The panic I felt rattled me, until I heard their voices. They were talking on the other side of the house.

Listening to what Quinn was saying about me tore me up. She was right, I
was
broken and I had no clue how broken I truly was, never having a real life to compare it to. What was normal to me was an epic failure to others. It hurt my heart to hear her speak about me that way.

But she loved me and wanted to be there for me. I was so thankful for that. It killed me knowing I was torturing her with my behavior. I needed to try and stop the program from coming out of me. I needed to work toward that for her…and myself. She deserved someone who was stable and not so temperamental.

When I saw Quinn round the corner, one corner of my mouth turned up. No matter the circumstance, she lit up my world. When she saw me, she wiped her eyes. I stepped up to her and cupped her beautiful face in my hands. I didn’t say anything, but gazed into Quinn’s eyes. As I opened my mouth to apologize, she put her finger to my lips. I looked down shyly. She dropped her finger and I kissed her with the tender affection that she deserved.