Awakened (Intimate Relations) (17 page)

“So, where am I taking you?” he asked. No point in rehashing the crap in his world. “Marc said there’s an extended-stay hotel you’ve stayed in before. That where you want to go until you’ve got an apartment?”

“That’s the plan, but I haven’t made reservations. I originally thought I’d just go ahead and rent a car and go there on my own, but I’m pretty beat after packing up and moving out so quickly. I appreciate your picking me up.” He gave Theo the address, and they talked a bit about the work Theo did for Marc and the fact Ted had finally left the Bureau after twenty-seven years. “It was time,” he said, but he looked out the window, not at Theo.

Made him wonder what was going on in the guy’s head, why he’d decided to leave when, from what Marc had said, Robinson was a damned good agent. He dropped him at the hotel and waited until he got his room. Ted walked out a couple of minutes later, but he didn’t look very happy.

“Well, that sucks,” he said. “No rooms available. Crap. Tell you what, I’ll get a cab and find a room in town. I made the decision to leave so quickly, I was thinking more about getting here than what I’d do when I actually arrived.”

“How long since you’ve eaten?”

Ted frowned. “I dunno. Before I went to the airport. Thanks, but I’m not your worry. I’ll be okay.”

Except he looked ready to fold, and Theo took pity on the guy. “Come with me. I’ve got a crew working at the office. They’re going to be noisy, so I don’t plan to go back tonight except maybe to check on things later. I’ve got a crockpot full of stew and some fresh baked bread to go with it. I’ve also got a guest room where you can crash. Tomorrow you’ll be in a better position to make decisions like where you want to stay for the next couple of weeks, at least until you get your permanent housing settled.”

Ted just laughed. “You’ve been hanging out with Lola too much. She kept me fed and worried about me the whole time I was out here on assignment. I imagine you’ve been infected with her caretaker gene. You sure your family won’t mind a stranger at the table? In the house?”

“Just me,” Theo said. “And I invited you. C’mon. I could use the company.”

*   *   *

Mandy held on to Marc’s hand as they walked across the yard to the cottage. Dinner had been wonderful, the conversation nothing but laughter and good times, and no mention or questions about the mess with Marc’s dad. That was definitely a relief. She hugged Marc’s arm and realized she hadn’t stopped either laughing or smiling all evening.

“What is it about those two? They’re always so much fun.”

Marc paused just outside the glow of the porch light. He’d been smiling and laughing a lot, too. She loved seeing him this lighthearted, this relaxed.

“I know. I’ve thought about them a lot lately. You know how they met, right? I hired Nate as the vineyard manager and Cassie was still totally pissed about losing the vineyard and winery to bankruptcy, and she really wanted to hate him. Obviously that didn’t work out.” He laughed. “Of course, she wanted to hate me, too, but I’m pretty stubborn. I think she’s finally decided I’m not the ogre she originally had me pegged for. Especially since she wouldn’t have met Nate if not for me.”

“That’s their secret, though, isn’t it? Why they just radiate contentment. They’re so much in love, they have work they enjoy, good friends, they’re here in this beautiful valley that seems so far removed from all the crap going on in the world. It’s like they have this perfect, protected little bubble.”

Marc wrapped his arms around her and held her close. She inhaled, so aware of his scent, of the strong, steady beat of his heart, of the way it made her feel. “I think it’s more than that,” he said. “They both come from good, solid families. Even though Cassie’s mom died when she was young, she never doubted her mother’s love, never wondered if she was as important to her father as the work he did. I think that kind of knowledge gives any kid a powerful foundation. The same for Nate. His family was always supportive of every choice he made.”

He buried his face in her wind-blown hair and held on to her as if she somehow anchored him. Didn’t he realize he anchored her just as well?

“I can’t imagine what that feels like,” he said, “but I want my child, hopefully our child, to feel the same security. That same sense of unconditional love. I think I had that from my mother, but it’s hard to know anymore. Hard to know what’s a real memory and what’s merely one manufactured out of wishes and dreams.”

Mandy leaned back in his embrace, cupped his jaw in her palm, and focused on his eyes. “The thing is, Marc, you know what you want. You have those dreams, those wishes that are a huge part of who and what you are. You’ll make it happen for your children. And, for the record, they’d better be our children. I love you, and I don’t doubt you in the least.”

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and they went up the steps to the porch. He opened the door and then paused. “I’m sure glad at least one of us doesn’t have any doubts.”

“Never,” she said. “None at all.”

*   *   *

Ted leaned back in his chair and took a sip of wine. “Thank you, Theo. Dinner was spectacular. I don’t think I’ve been this relieved or relaxed since I was last out here.” He stared at the dark plum colored Zinfandel in his glass. “The quality of wine with meals is certainly far superior to what I’m used to.”

“That’s one of the perks of working for Marc Reed. I got a couple of cases from him for Christmas, and we can buy all we want at cost. I tend to keep plenty on hand.” Theo stopped talking, took a sip, and then focused on Ted.

Ted had figured there’d be questions. There always were when you met new people, changed situations, made big changes. Lord knew he’d done all of the above.

Eventually, Theo asked. “What made you decide to leave the Bureau after so many years? And don’t hesitate to tell me to butt out, but I am curious.”

Ted just shook his head. “No, spelling it out is the least I can do, though there were so many reasons leading to this, it’s hard to narrow it down to just one. Ben, Lola, Lola’s sister Mandy, Kaz, and Jake … Marc. Definitely Marc, but it’s hard to say which one, or if it was the combination of all of them, but I spent almost two months out here, and when the job was done, I honestly didn’t want to go back. Because of them, of the friendship they shared. It was a friendship they pulled me into so easily.” He focused on Theo. “It was a harsh reminder just how lonely my life really is.”

Theo just shook his head. “I hear ya on that. A little over a year ago, I caught the man I’d been partners with for over twelve years cheating on me. I’m the kind of guy that, when you have a monogamous relationship, you trust your partner to keep it that way. I’m lucky I found out before anything really awful happened, but it’s been a tough adjustment. Which is probably more than you needed to know, but it’s been a huge change for me, going from being half of a couple to all of a single.”

Ted studied him for a long moment. No way in hell would he have ever guessed the man across the table from him was gay, and wasn’t that part of his problem? He hadn’t recognized it in himself, either. But Theo might understand. “You’ve touched on another part of my problem,” he said. “I signed on at the FBI in 1989. I was only twenty-four, and so deep in the closet, even I didn’t know I was gay. The culture there at the time was definitely homophobic, so it wasn’t much of an issue. I just figured the right woman hadn’t come along yet.”

“I think a lot of us have been there. It doesn’t always jump out and bite you on the ass.”

“Would have made things a hell of a lot easier.”

“So how’d you figure it out?”

He laughed. At this point, what else could you do? “Over the years, guys I worked with kept trying to match me up with their sisters or girlfriend’s best friends, which is actually quite a compliment, the fact they trusted me enough to want that for me, and I dated a lot of lovely women. It wasn’t all that long, though, before I realized that as much as I liked the women, it was the brothers or the sisters’ boyfriends I was more interested in.”

He still felt badly about all those girls and women. They’d been totally innocent, and in a lot of cases, definitely interested in pursuing a relationship, but he couldn’t do it to them. More important? He couldn’t do it to himself.

“Is the FBI still down on gays? I mean, I know what the official viewpoint is, but what about the guys you worked with?”

“The culture has definitely changed. They’re openly welcome, but I just couldn’t come out to the men and women I had known for so many years. I’m fifty-one, and I’ve never been honest about my sexuality. No one at the office knew, and I had no idea how to tell them I’d been living a lie throughout my entire career.”

“So you quit the job, packed up, and left town?”

Ted nodded. “Exactly. Sneaking out under cover of darkness isn’t my usual method of operations, but it seemed the best way to leave. I gave notice shortly after I got back from the job here, and didn’t even let Marc know at first. I finally called a couple of weeks ago and told him I was looking for a job. I hoped he might have some leads for me, because I really wanted to live out here. I’d fallen in love with San Francisco. I had no idea he’d be able to hire me, but this case he wants me to pursue is fascinating. You say you’ve met the father?”

Theo seemed to take the change in subject matter in stride. “I have. The guy is scary. In fact, there’s something you need to know. I’m not sure if Marc’s told you or not, but when his dad showed up here earlier today, it got ugly. Marc is always such a contained sort of a man. I’ve rarely seen him lose his temper or even get angry with anyone, but the guy got in Marc’s face, called him names, talked down to him, poked him in the chest, and then he insulted Mandy.

“Marc lost it. He told him he knew about Rockpile Road, that something got buried out there the night his mother disappeared. I was watching his father’s face. He definitely reacted to that. Not in a good way.”

“Holy shit.” Damn. This could put Marc in danger. Mandy too, for that matter. “Theo, from the research I’ve done, I believe Steven Reed is a psychopath. He’s killed at least once, and if his back’s against the wall, I have no doubt he’ll kill again. He’s definitely scary, and not someone I’d want coming after me. Marc and Mandy are up in Dry Creek, at the winery?”

“Staying in the little cottage that serves as a guest house at Cassie and Nate Dunagan’s. Winemaker and vineyard manager.”

“I wonder if his father is aware of that connection. Would he know to look there for Marc?”

Theo shook his head. “I don’t know, Ted, but it’s not a chance I’d want to take. Marc’s made no secret of his ownership of the winery. I mean, he’s tied his jewelry company launch to it with the same name, so I doubt his father is unaware of the winery or the location, which I believe is very close to this Rockpile Road Marc was talking about. But there are pictures of the tasting room in the advertising, and they’ve got a huge website presence with a wine club and scheduled activities.” He glanced at his watch. “It’s a little after nine. I’m going to call and let him know that he should alert Cassie and Nate to the risk. It might be a small one, but they need to be aware. Besides, Cassie’s pregnant. She doesn’t need this. Damn it.”

“Tell you what, Theo.” Ted stood and carried his plate and silverware to the sink. “Let me call him, tell him I’m here, and that you’re babysitting me tonight.” He laughed. “For which I am embarrassingly grateful. Anyway, I’ll mention the risk. I honestly think he’s a bit in shock over the whole thing, to have all of this information dumped on him so quickly. Otherwise, I doubt he would have said anything, no matter how angry he got.”

“Sounds good, and you’ve chosen an amazingly effective way to get out of the dishes.”

Ted really did like this guy. “One of my many skills, but dinner’s on me tomorrow night, okay?”

“That works.”

Ted walked into the next room and called Marc.

*   *   *

Marc rinsed out Mandy’s wine glass while she tossed his beer bottles. All two of them, but the place was so small that they needed to stay on top of things, and they didn’t want to leave Cassie with a mess. He dried his hands off on the dish towel after drying the glass and putting it in the cupboard.

“So, tomorrow we’ll go in search of the address?”

“I think that’s a good idea.” She stepped close and rested her arms on his shoulders. He loved the way she did that, almost as if she were caging him in, forcing him to focus on her and nothing else.

As if anything else could hold his attention when Mandy was in the room. “You don’t plan to do any digging, do you?”

He shook his head. No, Ted had been adamant in one of their discussions that they build a strong enough case and then involve the authorities. Anything else could result in screwing up evidence that might be needed to hold Steven Reed accountable for his wife’s death. Ted knew a lot more about the legal end of things than Marc could ever hope to.

“Ted wants us to build an ironclad case against my father and then let the authorities do the digging. So far, we have a lot of circumstantial evidence, but we need specifics. If we can tie this address into the rock and tree, for instance, things that Alden can testify to my having discovered through age-regression therapy, then we have enough to bring in a search team. Did you know there are dogs that can find human remains that have been buried for thirty or more years?”

He rested his forehead against Mandy’s. “She’s out there, Mandy. Buried alone in an unmarked grave. I never mourned her. I hated her. All those years. All those fucking years when I could have been looking for her. She deserves a decent burial. Deserves a funeral and someone to mourn her.”

Mandy’s arms tightened around his shoulders. “Think about it, Marc. You’ve mourned her since you were a little boy. You’ve missed her. The fact those memories are there, that they’re intact? That’s proof that you haven’t forgotten her. She will be found, and we’ll bury her in a beautiful place. That’s going to happen because you’ve never given up. A mom can’t ask for more from her child.”

He kissed her. “You always know the right thing to say.”