Awakening on Orbis (27 page)

“Is that funny?” he screamed. His voice echoed across the void.

I shook my head. That was all I could do.

“For the rest of your pitiful life, you will remember your time with me as your easiest cycles. I am your best friend now. Once you are placed in the universe, everyone will be your enemy. You will be hunted like a common cochark, and even your own family will loathe you.” The alien knelt in front of me, his tone growing softer. “But
I
will love you, and so will your brethren. A Space Jumper’s plea can be heard across the galaxy, and they are the only ones who will ever answer you. You have one purpose in your life now, and that is to serve the Ancients, to serve the Scion.”

Then he kicked my hand and sent me falling into the abyss.

I awoke in my sleeper with all my appendages intact. Had I dreamed it? The pain in my fingers and my nose told me that everything was real, but how had I gotten here? Switzer was sitting up, putting his suit on. There seemed to be a new piece attached to it, a metal plate over his heart.

“So you met Chausau, huh? I wouldn’t look in any mirrors for a few cycles.”

I sat up but didn’t reply. Every time I looked at Switzer now, I saw the wormhole pirate and thought about what he did to Charlie.

“Still not talking to me?” He stood up and stomped his thick boots on the floor as if they were new. “Suit yourself, but I’m gonna need your help here. I’ve done so much in my life, I don’t know what part you want me to apologize for.”

“All of it,” I muttered as Switzer marched from the room, but he poked his head back in.

“You know you’re not being fair,” Switzer said.

“Fair? What do you call fair? Your whole life has only been about yourself. If there’s not something in it for you, then forget about it. Why don’t you just get out of here? Go back to whatever wormhole you were hiding in and leave me alone,
Captain Ceesar.
”

“You have no idea what it was like for me. You think I roamed around the universe pillaging whatever I wanted, like it was some perpetual Birth Day celebration?”

“You certainly seemed proud of your actions.”

“I wasn’t even sixteen years old when I popped up onto that pirate ship! They were brutal. Simply brutal. I begged the Universe to let me be a knudnik again, but no one answered. I
fought
for my position in their world, literally.

“Life as a wormhole pirate is nothing like they whisper in the back rooms of your cushy little school. If you’ve got the stomach for it, I’ll tell you about the time I almost froze to death, abandoned on a mining moon with my best friend. I held him in my arms like a little one, wishing he would hurry up and die so I could gut him and then crawl inside his dead carcass to keep warm. You don’t want to know what I did with his insides.”

“You murdered
my
best friend.”

“That was not my intention, JT. Charlie was an accident. I only wanted him out of the way for a while. How was I supposed to know he would have an allergy to the stuff? I’m sorry. I really am. Besides, he’s not dead. Look at him! I think he looks pretty good.”

“Get out of here.”

“It was an accident.”

“Get out of here!”

I fell back into my sleeper and heard the door close. Then I swung my feet around and over the edge. I didn’t want to go back to Chausau. Who was I kidding? I wasn’t cut out for this. Switzer should be the Tonat. It was like he relished this stuff. I couldn’t stand him for what he did to Charlie, but I had to admit that the Hollow had changed him. He acted with purpose now and a sense of belonging. Why couldn’t I find that?

Despite my best efforts to resist, I put my feet on the floor and stood up. I didn’t have to be a softwire to imagine the consequences for missing Chausau’s training. That’s when I realized I hadn’t taken one of those tablets for quite some time. When I went looking for it, I found the nausea and the headache lurking inside me, but now it was more of a gauge, a tool to tell me how far away Ketheria was. The more I concentrated on the feeling, the more sick I felt. Ketheria was far away. I pushed the sickness back down, but it didn’t go easily. I reached into my pocket, fished out a tablet, and popped it into my mouth. I didn’t need anything getting in the way of my training. But I knew that was just an excuse.

In the food commons, I grabbed an olack, a sweet fleshy fruit Switzer had shown me, from the food wall. I also grabbed a bowl of protein grains. I ate some of it while walking, but I tossed most of it. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Switzer with some of the other Space Jumpers. I tried to picture the old Switzer I knew popping up on that pirate ship as a kid. He had to have been scared. I couldn’t even imagine trying to crawl inside another person to keep warm, let alone a friend.

When I reached Chausau’s training facility, I found several other Space Jumpers, including Gora Bloom, already waiting on the outside platform. I also noticed several Honocks, but Charlie was not among them. I wondered where he was. I wanted to see him. Not just so I could look at his surveillance monitors again, but because I wanted my old friend back.

“I heard we’re getting our belts,” Switzer remarked as he stepped out from the light chute.

The best I could do was a grunt. When I offered Switzer no more, he walked over to Gora. Chausau entered from above, just as he had last cycle, but this time with a Honock in tow. The Honock, floating behind Chausau, concentrated on the platform below as if to make sure he wouldn’t miss it. Clutched in his arms was a collection of Space Jumper belts.

“I have here your most prized possession!” Chausau shouted to us from the middle platform. “This single item has as much value as the Source used to ignite your existence. Lose this and you may as well lose your life!”

Chausau took the belts from the Honock and held them up.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Come and get them.”

I looked at Gora and Switzer. They were trying to find a way across to Chausau, but there was none. His platform was too far to physically jump across the void to, and there was no craft to take them. Was I supposed to jump? I could do it without a belt, although I had only done it around Ketheria, or when I got upset. Even that little glitch had seemed to fade, however. Was this a test?

I concentrated on the center platform, trying to will myself there, but it was no use. I might as well have been trying to move the platform to me. If I was a Space Jumper who could jump without a belt, someone was going to have to show me how. I was relieved to think the burak would take that pressure off me. I was anxious to get that belt.

“Well?” Chausau called out. Then he was next to Switzer. “That’s a joke. Of course you can’t do it without the belt. That was the whole point.”

I watched him hand a belt to Gora and then to Switzer. I could see Gora’s eyes light up as he cradled the belt in his hands. Then Chausau turned to me. There were no more belts left.

“But I
was
hoping to be surprised by you,” he cried. “Are the rumors false?”

“What rumors?”

“What rumors?” he said, loud enough for everyone to hear. “The rumor that you can move through space and time without a belt. That you possess an ability no other Space Jumper has ever exhibited . . . until now.”

Chausau’s face was centimeters from mine, and the intense air from his nostrils pushed against my skin. I didn’t dare move.

“Care to demonstrate this extraordinary ability?”

“I can’t,” I mumbled.

“Speak up!”

“I can’t!”

Chausau circled me. “You can’t or you won’t? I’ve been told that you never require a belt. That you can jump whenever you like.”

“You’re wrong. It’s not like that,” I told him. “It’s tied somehow to my sister. I can’t just jump when I feel like it.”

“I’m
wrong
?” The other Space Jumpers standing along the railing chuckled. “I’m never wrong. Just ask any one of them. The fact that you can’t jump whenever you want has to do with this,” he said, and stabbed my head with his finger. “It has nothing to do with this.” Chausau then stabbed at my heart. “But that’s what you’re here for. I will awaken that part of you that can control your gift, to make it part of you, a function as automatic as breathing. That is, if it’s even true.”

Chausau walked away. “Put your new belts on!” he cried. “Look at them! Are they not beautiful? They are yours now. Takecare of them as if your life depends on them — because it does.”

I stood there as the other Space Jumpers cheered. I watched Switzer and Gora slip their belts around their waists and admire them. I couldn’t look at the others, though. I only stared at the belts. I hated Chausau for singling me out like this. I didn’t want the other Space Jumpers to look at me without a belt, naked and waiting for ridicule. Switzer looked up and ours eyes met. I expected to see that stupid smirk on his face. I assumed he would be the first to ignite my long and torturous humiliation, but he didn’t. No, it was much worse than that. When I looked at Switzer, I saw pity. Pity for me. I wanted to die.

Chausau assigned a Space Jumper and a Honock to Switzer and then to Gora and instructed them to walk the new owners through their belt’s interface.

“What am I supposed to do?” I asked as Chausau walked past me.

“Come with me,” he said, and my nostrils immediately filled with the stench of feet.

Chausau released his grip, and I found myself standing with him on the center platform.

“Warn me next time you’re going to do that, will ya?” I said.

“Hopefully there won’t be a next time. Quirin has informed me of the details of your ability, and it seems quite simple. Unlike those who use a belt, you cannot jump with anyone in tow. Only a belt can create the proper time distortion for that. If you try, you will kill them. And you do not need to put coordinates in a belt as we do; you simply need to know
where
you’re jumping.”

“That seems pretty limiting, don’t you think? Why don’t you just give me a belt, like them, so I can learn this properly? Why burden me with those limitations?”

“It’s not the limitations that count. It’s the freedom to jump whenever you want. Imagine yourself torn apart in battle protecting the Scion. If you had a belt and it was lost or damaged you would be useless. But not you. You can still jump. It is a gift beyond comprehension. They will fill moons with stories about you.”

“I don’t want anyone to write anything,” I spat.

“That is not up to you. Your burden is to master your gift. That is your only concern. Do you see the spot where you were just standing?” he asked, pointing back to the railing near the light chute.

“Yes,” I grumbled.

“That is your goal. That is where you are going.”

“How? Aren’t you supposed to teach me?”

“Did someone teach you to breathe?”

“That’s a stupid question.”

“Really? When you concentrate on your breathing, you can block out most of the deconstructive energy that flows through you. When you concentrate on your ability, you can block out most of the Universe, as well as its physical form. You may then choose what part of the Universe will be manifested in your presence.
You
choose your own reality, Space Jumper. Whether you are here or there is up to you. Matter does not exist until it is observed; until then, it’s simply waiting for you.”

Then Chausau jumped, and a moment later I spotted him near the light chute where I had started.

“That doesn’t make any sense!” I yelled after him, but he only turned and walked over to Switzer.

How was I going to get over there? What kind of training was this? I looked around the platform, but for what? I had no clue. Maybe I could find something to tell me what to do, but the circular markings I saw on the floor were nothing more than decorations.

You have to concentrate.
But I just stood there with my arms crossed, watching the others. Gora and Switzer looked like they were swapping notes as the other Jumpers explained the workings of their new belts. Why wasn’t that me? Why did I always seem to be the one like
this
? Abandoned in the middle of nowhere and left to figure things out for myself. I hated it. It wasn’t fair.

“Hey, I can’t do it!” I yelled. Switzer looked up as my cry echoed back to me. I cringed as my whining replayed across the void.

I sat down near the center of the platform in an attempt to concentrate, but concentrate on what? My breathing? That seemed like a bunch of nonsense to me. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath.

Nothing.

The sound of laughter from the others across the void crept into my mind.
Push that out. Concentrate on the spot. Picture it in your head.

Still nothing.

“This is stupid!” I cried, standing up. No one looked across at me this time, not even Switzer. “Hey!”

I stared at the spot near the light chute. I pictured myself standing there. I clenched down on my back teeth, trying to focus harder on the location. I even bulged my eyes for effect.

“Oh, this is useless,” I said, and flopped back down. This time, I sat at the edge of the platform and let my feet dangle over. I wanted to throw something down the void, to hear how long it took before it hit bottom. At that moment, I almost pushed myself off the platform. I almost threw myself down the void just to see what would happen. My arms tensed, and I even felt the rush inside my stomach just before someone does such a stupid thing. Of course it was a stupid thing. Chausau wouldn’t have kicked me over if there were any chance I could die, but he wasn’t here right now was he? Why even take the chance?

I looked up to see where Chausau was, but I couldn’t find him. He had left. So, too, had Switzer and Gora. I watched the other Space Jumpers gather their things and leave as well.

“Hey, what about me?” I yelled.

A moment later, I was alone. Now all I
could
hear was my own breathing. Immediately I began to wonder how long Chausau would leave me here. What if I got hungry? What if I had to go to bathroom?
I could always void over the void,
I thought.

How pathetic. Look at me. What a malf.