Azure (Drowning In You) (11 page)

They walked down to the beach, Olivia pulling Kai along. He was right, it was a beautiful spot. A tiny stretch of white sand surrounded by rocks and trees growing from the cliffs, creating pools of shade. The stream trickled through a crack, whispering its way down to the sea, a glistening path on the sand.

“I’m sorry,” he said as she tugged him to the water’s edge.

“What for?”

He was silent for a while, as she slipped off her sandals and let her toes sink into the cool sand. He was looking down, where her hand still gripped his arm. Frowning, but not angry. It was as if he was trying to figure out a puzzle. “I wanted you to be happy today.”

“I am.” She closed her eyes and inhaled the sea and his scent, the musk of clean sweat and a hint of pinewood, probably his shampoo. “Really.”

Her heart still raced. In her mind, she could still see him poised over the cliff, but she didn’t dare ask what he’d been thinking.

He’s not
Andria
. He wouldn’t do it.

But how could she be sure when she’d been so horribly wrong once already?

“I’m going to bring down the things we bought,” he said and pulled away. She watched him walk back up to the car, her hand clenching on nothing.

Pull yourself together or he’ll think he ruined the day.

She splashed in the shallows, colorful pebbles in the water catching her attention. She bent over, gathering a few in her palm. They shimmered, polished smooth and veined with different minerals. From the corner of her eye she saw his tall form descend once more to the beach and her heart settled into a gentler rhythm.

When had she gone from trying to make him laugh to making sure he wouldn’t vanish into the sea?

He left their bags in the shade of a tree and sank next to them, leaning against the rocky cliff and spreading his long legs, crossing them at the ankles. He was looking at her, head tilted to the side, dark hair grazing his brows.

The pebbles fell from her hand. Her feet moved, taking her toward him, her skin warm from his gaze. She dropped to sit next to him, hugging her knees. He watched her under lowered lashes that hid his eyes.

She opened her mouth to say something, break the tension, but nothing came to mind. She turned to their bags, rummaged inside. “Want a juice?” she stammered.

He nodded, took the proffered can but made no move to open it. “You’re very white,” he finally said.

She winced, glancing down at her pasty skin. “I was in
Germany
for six months. Haven’t seen the sun in a while.” Unlike him. His skin was like caramel.

“You should be careful not to get sunburned. Did you bring sunscreen with you?”
 

“Yeah.” It hadn’t been an insult or anything. She relaxed.

“You should use it now. The shade won’t protect you and your friends will be pissed if I take you back red as a tomato.”

Lovely image. And more food comparisons
. Shuddering, she pulled out the sun lotion and spread some of the coconut-scented cream on her face.

“You left a spot here,” he said, pointing to her chin, and she rubbed at it viciously.

Very sexy, having spots of white cream on your face. She poured more cream and applied it behind her neck, under her hair. Ugh, she was getting all sticky.

“You should spread it evenly,” he said, “otherwise you’ll have white and red stripes. I see it happen all the time, trust me.”

“I know.”
The striped lobster effect. So sexy.
She pulled off her blouse, making sure her bikini top was in place, and poured more lotion.

“I could help you,” he said, his voice going breathy and low.

It made her look up. His cheekbones were flushed, his eyes so dark they seemed to swallow the light. Under her gaze, he shifted uncomfortably and ducked his head.

She passed him the sun lotion and turned around. For a moment nothing happened and she held her breath. Then his fingers touched her back, an intimate caress. They were a bit rough, then the pressure gentled and they rubbed in circles, cool with lotion. He flicked her long hair over her shoulder and the breeze kissed her back.

A pause, then both his hands were on her, moving in symmetry, from her neck to her shoulder blades, then lower, under the strap of her bikini, over her ribs and to the small of her back. She shivered and his breath hitched. He moved closer, the warmth of his body wafting on her exposed skin.

Then he moved away. “There, all done,” he said gruffly and she turned to find him looking at the sea, a knee drawn up to his chest, his hands smeared with the lotion.

“Thank you.” She took the lotion and spread more on her chest and arms. His eyes flickered back at her, then focused again straight ahead.

“Do you live in
Germany
?” he asked.

“No, I was in an exchange program. I was in college in
Vermont
, but now I want to move to
New York City
. The paperwork has been horrible, but it looks like I may get the transfer.” She shrugged. It would be a chance to meet different people, forget about the past. “But sometimes I think I should stay in
Vermont
.”
And pay for what I’ve done.

“I like
New York
,” he said. “The galleries and the museums. I love hanging out there.”

“Do you live there?”

He shook his head. “Not anymore. I dropped out of college and came to live here.”

So he
did
live here. “Why?”

His mouth thinned. “I couldn’t focus on my studies.”

But why?
“What were you studying?”

“Architecture.” He wiped his hands on his shorts. They were swim trunks, she realized, surfer trunks. “Have you ever been to the MOMA?”

The
Museum
of
Modern
Art.
“Never been.”

“There’s painting of a woman in a field, reaching toward a house. Reminds me of you.”

“You’re making this up.”

“Not at all. Andrew
Wyeth
. The painting’s called ‘Christina’s World’. You should go see it. I often sat and just looked at it.”

“Why does she remind you of me? Is she a blond noodle, too?”

“Blond...?” He sputtered. “Who told you that?”

“Never mind.” She waved a hand, smiling. “So, why?”

He leaned back, resting his head on the white rock. “She’s trying to find her way home.”

Hiding a wince, she hugged her knees and rested her chin on them. “I think I’m going for a swim. Coming?”

“You go ahead. Test the water for me.” The corner of his mouth lifted in a crooked smile. “Just remember not to swim far. There are rip currents and—”

“—sharks and stuff,” she nodded sagely. “I know.”

“Sharks?” His brow furrowed. “Hadn’t thought of that. Maybe.”

Oh great.
“Anything else I should know?”

“If a rip current gets you, don’t fight it. Let it carry you.”

“And then what — I find myself in the middle of the ocean? With the sharks?” She gave the sea a suspicious stare.

“Then I’ll get you,” he said simply.

“And who will get you?”

“The sea doesn’t want me,” he said, his tone flat. “I’ll be fine.”

She had no idea what he was talking about, and stealing looks at his beautiful profile was only getting her hot and bothered, so she stood and wriggled out of her shorts.

His gaze slid up and down her body. She could almost feel it, like a warm breath. Self-conscious, she shook her hair back and shaded her eyes against the glare of the sun. “Last one in the water is a rotten egg!”

She ran across the stretch of hot sand and splashed into the water. God, it was frigid. She gasped, stopping when it reached mid-thigh, and clenched her teeth.
Dive in and get it over with
, she told herself.
It’s the only way to get used to it before your teeth rattle so hard they fall out.

And crap, of course she’d forgotten to bring her goggles. Closing her eyes to prevent her contact lenses from floating off, she dived under, the cold slamming into her like a fist.

She came up gasping and spluttering. “It’s freezing!” she called out.

“Sounds perfect,” he called back and she could see his white teeth flashing. “I need a cold shower, so I guess it will do.”

Did that mean what she thought it meant? Grinning, she sank back into the water, which was now bearable, and floated. Below her, through the crystal ripples, she could see more colorful pebbles. The water was like glass. She dived under blindly and scooped a handful of colors, then surfaced to study them. They sparkled like rainbows in the palm of her hand.

Movement caught her eye and she looked toward the beach. Kai stood in the sun. He reached behind his head and pulled his t-shirt off. Then he stalked toward her, his gaze intense, his face all angles, muscles rippling across his chest.

Oh god, she was staring and didn’t care. She only hoped she wasn’t drooling. She wanted to run her fingers over his jaw, over his lips, down his chest. With a sudden, fierce desire, she wanted to know how his mouth tasted.

Jesus
.

She forced herself to look away. She stared at her feet. At the pebbles. At the water.
Fascinating.
Yeah
.

And all in vain, because he stepped into the water and halted right in front of her, the breeze sending his scent all around her. He raised his hand to touch her face.

The pebbles and water faded. They never stood a chance. His fingers cupped her cheek, then slid down to caress her chin. His chest rose and fell rapidly. A vein beat in his neck.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he whispered. “You’re, like, made of honey and candies.”

That made her want to laugh but she didn’t, because he was made of cream and dark chocolate, so she could totally understand. His lips were like toffee.

She wanted to kiss him so much she ached with it.

Then he pulled away, cursing under his breath, his hand falling away. He turned and dived into the sea, disappearing in the blue.

Wisely, and slow. They stumble that run fast.

Shakespeare

Run for your life as night falls. Don’t look behind.

Myra
Crow

Kai returned after what seemed like hours but couldn’t have been more than twenty minutes. She’d been making piles of pebbles and shells by the water when she saw his sleek form rise from the sea and it was as if all those sky reflections danced on his skin and hair.

Like a god of the sea.

She snorted.
Damn
. The talk of old magic was getting to her. She grabbed a cookie and munched on it as he stumbled out, his legs trembling. Why did he push himself so hard and far when he said the sea was dangerous?

No wonder he was so muscled, though.
So gorgeous
.

Shit
.

She offered him a cookie when he stepped into the shade but he shook his head and grabbed a bottle of water, chugging it all down. Water dripped from his dark hair and clung to his long lashes.

She bit nervously into another cookie as he lay down and closed his eyes, his head propped on a flat rock.

“If I fall asleep, wake me up,” he mumbled, his voice slurred.

“You can sleep.”

“I just... I don’t sleep well at night.” He turned his head a little, the light catching the moisture on his cheeks.

“Well, then. You need some rest.”

“It’s so quiet here.” His breathing was evening out. “
Liv
...”

“Yes?” She leaned closer, unable to stop herself.

“Up on the cliff... I wasn’t going to jump, you know.”

She froze. “Oh, I know.” She tried to keep her tone light, but the words came out choked.

“I swim every day. If the sea wants me, they can come and take me.”

“
They?
” She frowned but he was already asleep, his breath coming in soft puffs.

More secrets and riddles.
What had he done to make people so angry at him? Why was he talking of offering himself to the sea?

And why did he make her heart beat so fast and her breath catch every time? He was handsome, no question about it, but she barely knew him and soon she’d leave and he’d stay on this island on the other side of the world.

He seemed so peaceful when he slept. She itched to brush the glossy dark hair out of his eyes.

That didn’t feel like lust but like something much more complicated and deep. Dangerous for a bruised heart; bruised and cracked.

So instead of touching his burnished hair, she made herself get up quietly and walk toward the rocks. They were chalky, made of limestone, and turned her feet white. Between them water flowed, gathering in small pools were tiny fish and shrimps floated. A sea urchin waved its black spines at her and she stepped over the pool to a rock where the waves crashed, showering her.

Gasping at the sting of the cold, she sat, dangling her feet in the sea, letting it cool her down and settle her mood. She was here to be happy, try new things.
Live for today. Smile.

She tried the smile, here, alone. Not smiling for anyone but herself. Being happy by herself. For herself.

It wasn’t easy. It felt forced and fake. But the world rolled around her, the sea groaned and swirled like a living thing, and it was vast and deep. She was but a speck of emotion in this turmoil. Insignificant.

Right now she was glad to be of no importance, just a pebble polished by the tides.

The sun was in the center of the sky when she went to wake Kai up. He’d rolled on his side, using his hand as a pillow. He’d said he hadn’t been about to jump, but the rest... She didn’t know if to believe him. And she wouldn’t, couldn’t let him keep throwing his life at the sea just to see if the waves would take him.

She had to find out more about him so she could understand where his pain came from and try to take it away.

God, listen to yourself.
This was turning out to be more than a project. It was a mission.

Too dangerous.
She’d come here to escape the sadness, not to take on another’s burden, too.

Then his lashes fluttered. He opened his eyes and gazed at her dazedly, a faint smile tugging on his lips, and for the millionth time that day, she wasn’t sure about anything anymore.

***

“You let me sleep too long,” Kai muttered, rubbing his eyes.

“You seemed to need it.”

“I wanted to spend my day with you.”

“You are.” Olivia drank some water, which had turned lukewarm. “Maybe what you want clashes with what you need.”

He arched a brow at that. He grabbed her hand and shot to his feet. “We need a cold bath.”

“I don’t.”

“You do,” he said, dragging her to the sea. “You’re all sweaty.”

“I don’t want to. It’s cold.”

“Maybe what you want isn’t what you need.”

Dammit
. “You like turning people’s words on them, don’t you?”

“Oh, they’re
your
words?” He grinned. “I thought it was a quote from some philosopher or other.”

“It’s not and I—” She yelped as he started running, splashing into the sea, and she followed him, shivering and laughing.

He dived under and tickled her legs, making her squeal. He surfaced in a fountain of water only to dive again and tug her under. She closed her eyes as he pulled her toward him, then broke the surface, spitting water.

“You...” She turned and pushed him, surprising him. He went under again.

He swam underneath, right between her legs, and lifted her on his shoulders. She laughed, throwing her head back, letting the sun warm her wet face. The sky was brilliant, etched with wisps of clouds. A bird circled overhead; a bird of prey.

 
He rose from the water, carrying her outside on the beach and to the diminishing shade of the trees. She slid down his strong back and stood there for a moment, relishing the feel of his smooth skin, pressing her cheek between his shoulder blades. His heart hammered.

She withdrew reluctantly and he turned to face her with a boyish grin on his face.

“I know a great place to eat,” he said. “Are you hungry?”

“Sure. But it’s so nice here.”

“I know lots of nice places. I’ll take you to another.”

They grabbed their bags, pulled on their clothes and returned to the car. She kept stealing glances at him, his face, his body. The way his dark hair curled at his temples.

Why was she beating herself over a pleasure that wasn’t guilty at all? Like the landscape, he was wild and beautiful. Part and parcel of the vacation deal, right?

Still, when he caught her looking, her cheeks warmed. She climbed into the truck and they drove off.

“Is this restaurant you’re taking me to on the beach?”

“Yeah. Best food around here, and cheap.” He took the beachfront road and they passed more hamlets and shops stacked along the roadside. The sea beat at the rocks below, foaming around islets and lone rocks jutting from the blue.

Yeah, that was good. Looking anywhere but at the hot guy sitting next to her. She could at least try not to be so obvious.

They stopped at a restaurant —
Dimitri’s
Taverna
— over a cliff. The view was spectacular, the terrace overlooking the jagged northern shoreline of
Crete
. The place was like an orchard, olive tree branches reaching over the tables, and a vine hung overhead, the grapes dangling like bunches of rubies.

A burly man came to greet them, his mustache huge and curling, his eyes twinkling. “My friend. How are you, Kai?” He slapped him on the back and motioned for them to sit. “Have a seat, miss. Wait here, wait here.”

They sat as he ran into the restaurant and bustled out with a tray bearing a jar of water, ice cubes tinkling inside, glasses and a platter of melon cut into bite-size pieces. “Here, start. Then you decide what you want. Very good fish today, fresh.” He nodded, smiling, and went off to talk to other customers.

“Is he
Dimitri
?” she asked.

“That’s him. Great guy.”

The melon was sweet and cold, and the fish that came after that delicious — grilled, drenched in olive oil and herbs. She hadn’t realized she was ravenous until she was chasing the last bits of fish from her plate and the sauce with her bread. She’d have licked the dish, but they were not alone.