Azure (The Silver Series Book 5) (21 page)

Gem finally convinced me that it was sheer
stubbornness that kept me from calling her. She borrowed a phone
and made me promise to call because as she put it, it was the most
important thing I could do at the time. I accepted the phone
reluctantly, but couldn’t resist the pleading in Gem’s bright blue
eyes. It was enough to see her eating and growing healthier each
day. After all she had been through, I couldn’t refuse her
anything. I finally promised and watched her skip around in glee
with a cheerful smile on her face.

Now I stood on a red rock outcropping
overseeing the building of the rehab center in an effort to keep my
mind busy. A square of glass carried by one of the werewolves
caught the light of the sun and bounced it toward me. I closed my
eyes. “Any luck finding Nora?” I asked, though I knew if she heard
anything she would have called me immediately.

“
No.” Her answer came
reluctantly. “But we're sweeping everywhere. I can't imagine a flea
could get through.”

“
Yet she has,” I whispered
too quietly for her to hear. I cleared my throat. “Thanks, Mom.
Keep me posted.”

“
I will,” she promised. She
hesitated. “Vance?” My heart closed away from the emotion in her
voice. “We're so glad you're alright.”

“
I'm not alright, Mother,”
I admitted. “But finding Nora will help with that a great
deal.

“
We'll find her,” she
vowed.

“
Talk to you later.” I hung
up the phone and studied the landscape. The azure sky hung above
the red sandstone like a jewel. A knot formed in my throat at the
thought of telling Nora about the same sky and the way it held me
at Two. The color reminded me of Nora so starkly I could barely
breathe.

The location was perfect for the new
rehabilitation center. It was situated far enough from Two that Rob
couldn’t find us if Nora broke down and told him where we were, but
it was still in the red rock desert that my soul called home. Mom
was as good as her word and building crews had arrived at the land
the moment she purchased it. I was happy to see the money used for
good, and felt grateful for the first time that my mother spared no
expense when I asked for help.

Walls were being erected and Gem worked with
several of the others who had enough strength to help out. They
felt as I did. When they weren’t busy, thoughts of Lobotraz and the
nightmares within its walls barraged down like the water of the
dam. Though Jet’s girlfriend Taye was on hand to make sure they
took breaks when needed, the werewolves were happy to help build
something out of the wreckage that had become their lives.

Mouse, the small, skinny werewolf that had a
knack for electronics, fiddled in a main room that was already
stocked with computers despite the lack of walls. He was obviously
anxious to be back in touch with Jaze’s command center despite our
remote location. Gem skipped into the room, handed the werewolf
something small and metal that gleamed in the light, then smiled
when he blushed as he said thank you. She skipped back out of the
room and I wondered if Mouse felt as I did, that it was lighter for
her having been in it.

I watched Gem move within the construction
zone. She wore a yellow hardhat on her head that slid from side to
side as she bounced over beams of wood and building debris like a
woodland fairy. She had dyed her blond pixie cut hair pink, and
Nikki, Jaze’s human girlfriend, had helped her trim the ends so it
fit her sprightly personality. I had never seen someone with so
much energy. It was like now that she had escaped the confines of
the bars, she couldn’t be contained.

She glanced up, caught me watching her, and
flashed a happy smile that touched her blue eyes and made her
practically glow. I waved and a surge of longing welled up in my
chest. But now that she was here, the need wasn’t for the touch of
her hand or to see her safe. I missed the scent of vanilla and
sunflowers; I wanted the one who wasn’t safely below working with
werewolves to build strong walls and beautiful floors. I had
serious issues.

I slid down the sides of two narrow canyon
walls until my shoes hit the dirt with a red puff. I pushed through
the narrow red rock tunnels and entered a small sand arena feeling
like I was going to explode if I didn't hit something. I squared up
with one of the walls and began to beat it with my bare knuckles,
letting the bite of the rock chase the pain from my chest.

Rob's face loomed in my mind with his overly
confident expression above his tailored suit. I punched the wall
harder. The surface grew slick and the burning in my knuckles eased
the ache in my heart at the thought of Nora in Rob's possession. My
side began to throb. Nora's green eyes bright with concern the way
she had looked when we climbed from the flash flood rose to my
mind. The fact that she had been the one to send Jaze to Lobotraz
and save me from that horrible prison sent guilt through my chest.
I couldn’t find her. After all we had gone through, I was the one
letting her down.

I staggered forward and leaned against the
wall. Tears stained my cheeks. I wiped them away with the back of
my hand and felt more moisture. I glanced down and found that my
knuckles were coated in blood from hitting the wall. The skin was
peeled away and the stinging throb of sweat burned the edges. I dug
the heels of my hands into my eyes to stop the futile tears. Tears
were a coward's way out and wouldn't save her.

Unable to stand being under the azure sky
without Nora any longer, I tore off my clothes, phased, and
barreled through the narrow red rock passage. A form jumped out of
my way. My nose identified Jaze's scent, but I couldn't think past
the need for the dry, arid air of the desert and the harsh,
unforgiving landscape. I lowered my head, pulled my ears back, and
ran.

***

I didn't realize until the smell of death
and decay filled my nose that my paws had taken me to White Horse
Canyon. The troubled air told of the bodies below before I even
reached the rim. I skidded to a stop, my tongue out and chest
heaving. The bodies in the canyon beyond had been Nora's friends. I
had killed them all.

I glared into the depths below, hating
myself for the pain I had caused them, for the mothers and fathers
who had lost sons and daughters and would never know where they
went, for the pain on Nora's face when I told her they were dead,
and for the sightless eyes that had stared up at me accusingly that
first night because I had lived when they died.

The heavy smell tangled through my fur,
threatening to drag me down with them. I snorted and backed up. Red
sand scuffed around my paws bruised from beating the wall. I
lowered my head to the sand and tried to lose the smell of decay
amid the cinnamon and sage scent of the dirt, but the stench
refused to leave. I turned and ran from the canyon as fast as I
could. I couldn't chase away the thought that I had been running
from everything my whole life, everything but Nora.

I reached the end of the canyon when a
shadow caught up to me and I barely avoided crashing into Jaze. He
sidestepped easily and watched me as I regained my footing. I
didn’t know how long he had been following me. The fact that he was
here, in my red rocks, bothered me but I couldn’t say why. I owed
Jaze my life. I think just being near Two and the places where I
grew up rattled my thoughts.

I studied Jaze, a black wolf whose fur
blended almost perfectly into the shadows. I blinked and realized
that it was night. My run had taken me longer than I thought. Guilt
at leaving the others working flooded me and I lowered my head. I
trotted slowly to one of the clothes caches still hidden among the
rocks and phased, then pulled on a pair of black shorts and a worn
gray shirt. I tossed a second set of clothes to Jaze and he phased,
then waited for me without speaking.

We walked silently along the soft sand that
felt as fine as powder underfoot. I never wore shoes in the desert.
They were too constricting and the feeling of sand between my toes
was home as much as the rock walls around us. The scent of sage
baked by the sun lingered beneath the starlit sky, and the stars
that twinkled down glowed brightly through their midnight
canvas.

“
They’re brighter out
here,” Jaze said quietly, breaking our silence.

I glanced at him. “What?”

He tipped his head to indicate the stars.
“At home, I can barely see a dozen in the sky. Too much light from
the city.” He fell silent, then said, “It’s better, being out here
under the stars. It feels like we’re all connected somehow.”

I looked up at them again. To me they had
always just been there, the constellations floating slowly across
the dark expanse, phantoms of stories older than the world I knew.
Walking beneath them again after the weeks spent in Lobotraz felt
surreal. I couldn’t decide which experience was more of a
dream.

“
I know you’re worried
about Nora,” Jaze said when I didn’t say anything. “I’ve got every
werewolf and Hunter here and in the adjoining states on the
lookout. When Rob surfaces, we’ll know.”

I took a breath of night air and let it flow
out between my teeth. “I’m worried about her, but there’s so much
more to it.”

“
The werewolf, Gem,” Jaze
said.

I glanced at him in surprise, then
remembered that he had seen our small kiss outside of Lobotraz. I
nodded. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel so selfish.” The
words surprised me. I had never opened up to the other Alphas at
Two. I was supposed to be the tough one, the one who had everything
figured out even though we were all lost in our own ways. But it
felt like once the gate was opened, the words wouldn’t stay in.
“Nora completes my heart in ways I could never imagine. She’s
smart, spunky, brave beyond doubt, and willing to stand up for what
she believes in even against her father.”

I paused and Jaze nodded. “She’s a wonderful
girl,” he said quietly.

I agreed, but I shook my head. “But
something happened at Lobotraz. I was at the point. . . .” It was
hard to say what I needed to. I swallowed and continued, “At the
point of giving up, but Gem pulled me through. I owe her my life,
and she deserves to be happy.”

“
Do you love
her?”

I stopped walking and stared at Jaze.
“What?”

He faced me, his expression serious. “Do you
love Gem?”

I was about to give a flippant answer, but I
owed him more; by the expression on his face, I knew he expected
more from me as well. I rubbed my eyes with one hand in an effort
to clear my thoughts. “Yes, but in a different way from Nora.”

He nodded as if he had guessed as much. “You
said you feel complete with Nora. Do you feel the same way with
Gem?”

I thought that I did. I pictured her hand in
mine, the grime of Rob’s catacombs around us. I saw her blue eyes
shine so brightly under the sun. I felt my lips on her for the
brief second next to the car. I wanted to nod, to accept that she
was what I wanted, that I should be with a werewolf instead of a
human, but I owed it to both of us to be honest. I shook my
head.

“
You know werewolves mate
for life,” Jaze said. “And we don’t necessarily choose our mate;
when she steps into your life, it feels like she was chosen before
you ever met.”

I nodded. I had felt the exact same when I
saw Nora for the first time fighting for her life against the
werewolves of Two. When her eyes met mine, something drove home so
powerfully I protected her against every instinct in my body. “But
she’s human,” I said.

A touch of humor lit Jaze’s eyes. “It
doesn’t have to make sense.”

“
But it should,” I replied
before I could stop myself. In all of my studies, races survived on
natural selection and survival of the fittest. My mother would
scream if she knew how much I truly loved Nora. I came from a long
line of werewolves with pure wolven blood. No human had ever
tainted the family line. Shame filled me that I thought of it as
such. Maybe I was just as blind as my parents.

“
You’ve met Nikki, right?”
Jaze asked; his eyes narrowed slightly with his smile. I nodded,
but when I didn’t say anything, he let out a breath. “I fell for
her hard, harder than I wanted to admit. And believe me, it was not
a pleasant time for a werewolf to be in love with a
Hunter.”

I watched him carefully, the way his eyes
lit up when he talked of his girlfriend, the crease in his forehead
when he told about the Hunters and the way they used to be. Sorrow
shone in his gaze when he spoke of finding his father dead, killed
by Hunters and his uncle in an attempt to wipe out the Alphas.
“Uniting Hunters and werewolves was the hardest thing I ever did.”
He frowned, then glanced at me. “I say that, but every time I open
a cage or break down a door to find werewolves in the most inhumane
conditions, uniting the Hunters and werewolves so we can work
together was also the best thing I ever did.”

“
How did your mother feel
about you falling for a human?” I asked.

He smiled a patient smile and I realized
another reason why so many looked up to him. He was never
condescending or rude. He was patient, kind, and wanted everyone to
be on the same page. His answer surprised me. “I forget you haven’t
met my mother. She’s human.”

I stared at him. “But you’re an Alpha.”

He nodded. “A fluke of nature.” He grinned
in a self-deprecating way. “Apparently someone figures I can make a
difference even if it doesn’t make sense.”

“
The werewolves at Lobotraz
called you the guardian of werewolves.”

The look of surprise on his face quickly
swept into another grin. “That sounds a bit much, don’t you
think?”