B00AAOCX2E EBOK (33 page)

I tried to ignore him, but he began following me around the room. It really was too small for two people. Frazzled, I spun in circles before finally spotting my wet towel on the corner of the bed. I snatched it up and was making my way over to the bathroom when he stepped in front of me, blocking my passage.

“Get out of my way,” I ordered in a firm voice, keeping my eyes leveled on his chest.

“Not until you listen to me.”

“Dammit, Ian! You can’t just ignore me for a week, and then expect me to roll over and thank God that you’ve deigned to talk to me. I’m done doing things on your time. Now, get out of my way.”

At length, he stepped aside.

I walked around him and into the bathroom. It probably wasn’t the smartest idea; I realized that when he followed me.

“Why did you even sleep with me?”

My hand froze mid-air in lifting up the towel.

His face’s reflection appeared next to mine in the mirror. The disturbing darkness in his eyes made my pulse stutter. “I told you my reason,” he said, “but you never told me yours.”

“Yes, I…” I began weakly and trailed off. If the bedroom was too small, the bathroom felt like a tin can. If I moved just an inch backward, I’d be touching him. Trying to put more distance between us, I stepped closer to the sink and kept my eyes trained on the water faucet. “I told you… I wanted to be there for you.”

“That’s it?”

Unable to outright lie, I pursed my lips together and nodded. “Mm-hmm.”

His expression grew cynical. “So, you’re saying that sleeping with me was a completely selfless act? That you got nothing out of it, other than the joy of helping out a friend?”

It did sound pretty stupid when he put it that way.

I floundered. How did one even answer a question like that? I supposed it didn’t matter, since my tongue felt like it was glued to the roof of my mouth, anyway. In the end, I shrugged lamely.

His shaking hand clasped around my bicep and he turned me around. “Are you going to answer me?”

After a quick glance at his stormy eyes, I averted my eyes. “No.”

His hands slid down my arms and tightened around my wrists. He pulled them up to his chest and pinned them there. There was no hiding my trembling in that position. “No, you’re not going to answer me, or no, you got nothing out of our night together?”

“Leave me alone.”

“You’re saying you have no feelings for me outside of our friendship?”

I couldn’t breathe. I shook my head.

“I don’t believe that,” he growled. And then he kissed me, if you could call slamming his mouth down on mind so hard that I felt my teeth digging into my lips.

I reacted as if I’d been hit by an electrical current; struggling in his grasp, arching my middle, trying to get away. Then I pulled him in closer. The kiss was punishing and angry. I poured a week of aggravation and hurt and fury into that kiss, and it felt electrifying and wrong at the same time.

When I finally came to my senses, it was to shove him away.

“Fuck you!” I cried, swiping at my mouth with the back of my hand.

He lifted his head up with a confused look. “Fuck
me
?”

“Yeah, fuck you. What is this?”

“I was proving a point. This isn’t over between us. And that’s okay. That’s good, because I-I love—”

I lifted my hand like a badge, stalling his words. “Don’t you
dare
.”

“Ivy—”

My chest heaved. “You have the nerve to come here after a week of snubbing me, and tell me you…” I broke off, the word stopping up in my throat. “You only want me because I’m going out with someone else.”

“You believe that?”

“I know it! If you really wanted me… loved me, why wait until now to tell me? You would have told me, before. Hell, all it would have taken was a single word, and I would have been yours.”

“Bullshit!”

The force of his seething reply caused me to flinch. “What?”

“You heard me! You had already moved on by Tuesday, so don’t try to put this all on me.”

I stiffened. “What are you talking about?”

“Jayden! Ring any bells? It should, he’s standing in your living room.”

I backed away. How did he know?

He stepped forward and glowered down at me. “Didn’t think I knew, did you? I saw you with him, Ivy.”

“Where?”

“At Luna’s. Casey and I were there when you walked in. Believe it or not, I asked him to give me some tips about how to talk to you.” Ian’s snort of laugher lacked humor. “You were so wrapped up in him you didn’t even notice. You give me shit for downshifting fast; you didn’t even wait until the bed was cold.”

I swallowed the guilty knot in my throat. “It wasn’t like that. I made plans with him before you and I were together. And I would have broken them off, if you hadn’t ignored me on Sunday.”

“Did you, even once, stop to think that all this was new to me? That sleeping with someone I honestly cared about, who cared about me, was new to me? I didn’t know what to say!” He sighed and raked both his hands through his hair. “I knew I was fucking it up, and you were getting
so
frustrated and angry with me. I panicked and lost my nerve.”

That made me falter. It actually made quite a bit of sense, now that I thought about it. “So, you tell me you slept with me because I was
there
? Treat me like I was another one of your whores?”

He closed his eyes. “I handled it wrong, I admit it. But there were two of us there. You didn’t have to leave it all up to me.”

“I tried talking to you, and you ran away from me. Hell, you treated me like a discarded conquest from the moment you got to the house on Sunday! I didn’t know how you felt about what happened. I didn’t want to seem like one of the other stupid bitches who chase you around!”

He shook me slightly. “You have
never
been one of them. And if you haven’t realized that by now, then I don’t know why we’re friends.”

“Then maybe we shouldn’t be,” I snapped.

My regret was instant. A plea to allow me to take it back climbed up my throat, but I could tell by his face that it was too late.

His mouth parted, and then snapped shut. His eyes blanked. “If that’s the way you want it.”

***

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” I said to Jayden as we walked to Amery’s house. I forced a smile, determined to go on as if nothing had happened. Truth was I was still too shell-shocked to process it all. Was it really all over? Had Ian and I really ended our friendship? Or was this one of those fights where we said we were ending our friendship, and things would get better later on? I honestly didn’t know, and that was probably a good thing. If I stopped and actually thought about those five short minutes Ian was in my room and what had transpired, I’d likely start hyperventilating.

I looked at Jayden, wondering how much he’d overheard. While he was being perfectly friendly, I did note a bit of reserve in him. I also hadn’t been able to miss several curious stares he’d sent my direction on the drive to Amery’s.

We arrived at Amery’s house, entering the door when no one answered our knock. The foyer was partitioned off from the rest of the house by purple fabric hanging from the ceiling. A fish-bowl sat on a table just inside the door, half filled with the masks Amery and I picked up at the party supply store the week before. Next to the bowl was an embossed card that let us know masks were required to go beyond the curtain.

I picked out one with black feathers that swept to the side, while Jayden chose a simple gold one.

“This is great,” he said with a laugh after we passed through the curtain. He looked around in amused wonder.

Amery lived in a two-story, three bedroom cookie-cutter home with an open floor plan that could comfortably fit, at most, sixty people. There seemed to be twice as many in attendance. The lighting was dimmed and some R&B music played on the stereo. I guessed Amery had gotten complaints about the Cajun music she’d stressed the importance of at the store. All the furniture had been pushed up against the walls to make room for dancing, and several couples were taking advantage of it.

I pulled my mask on and pointed to the ceiling fan. “See those lovely streamers? That’s what I spent my afternoon doing.”

“Fun.”

“Hardly. I totally regret insisting Amery buy those God-awful things.”

Jayden’s mouth curved. “Punishment for your persistence?”

“Yeah, pretty much. Are you going to put that mask on?”

“Nah. Clashes with the outfit.”

I tsked warningly. “You better watch it. Amery’ll eat you alive if she finds out.”

“She’s the one whose house we’re at, right?”

I nodded, and then grinned when I saw the birthday boy headed in our direction. “Hey, Casey! Happy Birthday!”

“Thanks.” He accepted my hug with a subdued smile.

“Casey, this is Jayden. Jayden, Casey.” I gestured between them.

Casey shook hands with Jayden. “Nice to meet you.” He turned to me. “Can I talk to you for a second? Privately?”

I hesitated when I saw the serious look on his face. “Sure.” I looked at Jayden. “I’ll be back.”

Casey took my hand and led me through the bodies in the room into the darkened hallway. The music was more muffled there. “This place is packed. Do you even know any of these people?”

“A few,” he said. “What’s going on?”

I tilted my head. This wasn’t quite the emergency Casey’s expression led me to anticipate. “Nothing,” I said slowly. “What’s going on with you?”

“I’m talking about Ian. Did he come see you?”

I stiffened. “How do you know about that?”

“Because I encouraged him to,” he said. “What happened?”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “We fought and… I don’t know…”

A look of discontent moved over Casey’s long face. “Did you let him say what he came to say?”

I gave him a patient look. “Look, I don’t know how much you know about what’s going on—”

“Everything.”

I took a step back. “How much did he tell you?”

“Nobody told me anything. Nobody ever does,” he said with a shake of his head. “And I’m usually okay with that. But I pay attention. I see things, and when I see my friend is hurting – and he’s been hurting bad, Ivy, despite what he may have led you to believe – I feel obligated to say something.”

It felt like the air had been sucked out of the hall. “Hurting? So he decided to humiliate me on the air? And then tell me he slept with me because I was there?”

The disappointed look on Casey’s face made me feel foolish. “You may think you’re the only one who knows Ian well, but I know him, too.” He ran a hand through his messy hair. “I know his life has basically sucked and you’re the only one he’s ever really cared about. You’ve stuck by his side through everything, so he’s got you on a pedestal. He doesn’t think he deserves you. Then Tuesday night, when he finally figured things out in his head, he saw you with that other guy. What would you have done?”

I looked away.

“Exactly what you’re doing right now,” Casey said, giving voice to what I hadn’t wanted to. “Punishing him for his mistake.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.” Was it?

The look Casey kept giving me made me feel
this
big
.
“Aren’t you? Look, I’m your friend, right?”

God, I
hated
when people asked me that. It was always a preface to something I didn’t want to hear. “Of course.” Casey’s mouth opened, but I rushed on. “Which is why I’m going to ask you to respect my request to drop it. I don’t want to talk about this anymore, okay?” I felt like shit enough already.

Casey’s face closed down. “If that’s what you want.”

“I do.” I forced a smile. “Besides, it’s your birthday. You shouldn’t be worrying about my and Ian’s drama.”

Casey’s expression bordered on incredulous. “If you say so.”

“Look, I should probably get back to my date.” With a faint smile, I slunk off, feeling like the biggest coward in the world.

***

Jayden wasn’t where I’d left him, but after a quick glance around the room, I spotted him out on the dance floor, where a stunning blonde in a long, shimmering green dress had her body pressed against him and her arms wrapped around his shoulders.

I crossed my arms over my chest as I watched.
I’m gone for two minutes and he’s already off?
I thought, trying to rouse some feelings of jealousy. Oddly enough, they weren’t quite genuine. In fact, I was kind of relieved. It gave me a reprieve from pretending to be happy.

“Would you look at that Amery?” Chelsea said, coming up behind me.

“Hey,” I said. “What about Amery?”

“She’s out there melting the dance floor with the hottie in the blue shirt. Don’t they look great together?”

The only hottie in a blue shirt was Jayden. Looking closer revealed the stunning blonde to be Amery. I hadn’t recognized her in her mask. “You mean with my date?”

“That’s—” Chelsea’s mouth opened, closed, opened. “That’s Jayden? Oh.” She looked out at them again, before saying, “Oh, Ivy, she pulled him out there. If she had known, I’m sure—”

“Breathe, Chels. They’re just dancing.”

The curtain next to us parted, and we stepped back. I tensed when I saw it was Ian. Our gazes met for a split-second before he moved over me like I wasn’t even there. I watched him go all the way out the sliding glass doors that led to the backyard.

“What was that all about?” Chelsea asked, stepping in beside me.

I swallowed and returned my eyes to the dance floor. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Oh, look, here they come.”

She meant Amery and Jayden. Jayden’s eyes met mine and he gave me a sheepish grin. “Hey,” he said as they came within speaking distance.

“Hey, Ivy!” Amery called with great enthusiasm. She threw her arms around me and then stepped back, smiling at Jayden. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“I’m sure you didn’t,” I said.

Jayden cleared his throat and came to stand next to me.

Amery’s looked between us. “Do you two know each other?”

“Yeah, this is Jayden,” I said. “My date.”

Amery smile faded a bit. “Oh.”

Noting Jayden’s confused expression, I filled him in. “Jayden, this is Amery.”