B00BR2BOUU EBOK (37 page)

“Rick, I would never keep Nate and Charlie from you, ever.”

“You might when you hear what I’m about to say.” His face
went pale and he wiped the tears from his eyes. I watched him suck in a deep
breath then blow it out harshly, composing himself to deliver something I knew
I did not want to hear, but strangely enough knew I could handle.

“Lex, I did sleep with Claire all those years ago, I
couldn’t help myself. She was young, beautiful and she threw herself at me. You
were dealing with your own self-esteem issues after having Charli, and you shut
me out. I’m not saying it was your fault, not at all, because it wasn’t. It was
mine. Instead of helping you with your demons, I abandoned you and succumbed to
temptation and have regretted it ever since.” I went to say something. “Please,
let me finish, Lex.” I nodded. “Claire has been blackmailing me ever since, and
I have been paying her monthly to keep her quiet. I know that’s fucking stupid
but on the flip side Lex, you and our marriage were worth more to me than
money. That’s why when Bryce came to me and offered me the five million, I saw
it as a means to an end with Claire once and for all, and that’s the only
reason I accepted it.” We sat there staring at each other for what felt like minutes,
not saying anything. I felt relieved that he had in fact cheated on me.
How
seriously fucked up is that?
I was so relieved, that in a sick way I
cackled in my head like a witch on crack. My newfound craziness continued when
I broke eye contact with him, picked up my fork and persisted with my dinner.
Why? Because I was hungry.

***

After dinner, Rick and I cleaned up together, still not
uttering a word. The atmosphere wasn’t tense, it wasn’t even awkward, it just
wasn’t anything at all apart from the weirdest kind of calm I had ever
experienced. The kids went to bed, so I grabbed my bottle of Gin and went out
to sit under our pergola.

Rick opened the sliding door and finally spoke.

“I guess I’ll get going. The kids won’t know any different,
but tomorrow after work we might have to tell them something.”

“Rick, can I ask you something?”

He stepped out and took a seat opposite me. “Yeah.”

“Do you feel relieved?” I watched him search for the answer
within his head, and not to my surprise he found it quite quickly.

“Yes, really relieved. I’ve held this horrible secret for so
long, and it’s been killing every part of me.”

“I reckon it would have. I’m actually relieved myself. When
you confessed before, I thought the relief I felt was because your infidelity
justified my own, but it wasn’t that. I’m relieved for you. I’m relieved that
you no longer have to carry this around with you, and that you can finally go
back to being the person you were before this happened.” I took a sip of my
drink. Rick looked at my glass, so I slid the bottle over to him. “Knock
yourself out.”

“Nah, I’ve got to drive to the hotel I’m staying in.”

“Rick, sleep in the spare room. Really, what’s the
difference? It’s not like we will ever repair this. We are done.” Those three
words tumbled out of my mouth so easily, but they did leave a twinge of pain in
my chest. “So, you might as well crash in there until you find yourself a new
place, and that way the kids can see you like they normally do.”

He nodded and put the bottle to his lips. “I never thought
you’d react like this.”
Pfft, neither did I.

“Rick, I’ve been angry, I’ve been upset, I’ve been confused,
I’ve been hurt, I’ve been depressed, and I’ve been fucked in the head. I’ve pretty
much felt everything you could feel since you first told me you had an affair,
and then you didn’t have it, and now you have had it. The only thing left for
me to be is just how I am right now. I can’t explain it, I am just....... Blah.”
I laughed and drank some more.
Alexis, the crazy witch on crack.
Rick
scoffed with a slight smile.

“That actually makes perfect sense, Lex.”

“I know.”

***

I woke up the next morning still feeling ‘blah’, but when my
head cleared enough to come to the realisation that I was on my way to see
Bryce completely free to be with him, unattached or hindered in way shape or
form, I smiled, then cried. I cried a lot driving along the Tullamarine
Freeway; I cried tears of joy, I cried tears of pain, I cried tear of loss, I
cried tears of exhaustion, and I cried tears of fulfillment. I parked my Charger
in its normal parking spot, then assessed the panda that looked back at me from
the rear-view mirror.
Shiiiiit!
I wiped my eyes with a tissue and patted
my cheeks. When I did this, I noticed ‘Brylexis’ sparkle at me. I had put it
back on my finger this morning, but not on my ring finger because that was not
where it belonged. Brylexis now belonged on the opposite hand and it looked
perfect. I sat there staring it for a few minutes smiling as much as a person
could smile, and when I looked back to my reflection in the mirror the panda
was now a cub. I stepped out of the car and made my way to Bryce’s apartment.

***

When the doors opened I could smell the aroma of a cooked
breakfast that I was slightly jealous I had missed. I could hear Bryce’s voice
outside, but he wasn’t alone. I skipped towards the balcony and found him and
Lucy at the balustrade in deep discussion. She was in the middle of saying
something when I approached the bi-fold doors. They didn’t see me at first.

“...you are just going to have to be careful and delicate
with how she finds out.”

“I know Luce, but she has been hurt enough, and I can’t bear
to see her beautiful face struggle to deal with I have to tell her, she’s been
through enough.”

“I know that Bryce, but Alexis deserves to know.”

My smile faded and I stepped forward. “Know what?”

CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX

I hate the horrible sensation in your stomach that
formulates when you go from feeling sheer happiness to utter dread in the space
of a second.

“Know what, Bryce?”

He walked over to me and cupped my face. “How long have you
been standing there?”

“Long enough to hear that you have to tell me something that
you know will upset me.” I laughed.
Fuck, I really am crazy cackling witch
on crack.

“Are you okay, Hunny? You look like you have been crying.”

“Yeah I have, but trust me there are no more salty menaces
alive in this body. I have completely and utterly evicted them all, so, whatever
you have to tell me, say it. Fire away.” I ran my hands up my face and
interlaced them on top of my head, waiting for his bad news. Bryce grabbed
them, and pulled them down into his own hands then smiled.

“You’re wearing Brylexis!”

“Yep.” I smiled back at him.

“What’s Brylexis?” Lucy came over and looked at my hand.
“Oh, that is Brylexis, cute.” She put her hands on both our shoulders. “Bryce,
what do you want me to do? Organise it now, or for later?” He looked at me with
sorrow, then back to Lucy.

“Now, organise it now. I want to get it over and done with.”

“Okay, I’ll be back shortly.” She squeezed his shoulder, and
gave me a reassuring smile then hurried out the door. I released my hands from
his and wrapped them around his waist bringing myself into his peaceful arms.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong? Trust me, after
the night I have just had with Rick, I can pretty much take anything you throw
at me.” He pulled away, concern and fear on his face.

“The night you had with Rick? What happened?”

“You first.”

“No, you first.” He was stern and conflicted with his new
secret, but I was still harbouring crazy witch crack and burst into laughter.
“Alexis, are you okay. You seem a bit, I don’t know, a part of me wants to hug
you because you seem sad, but a part of me wants to haul you over my shoulder,
take you up stairs, and have my way with you because you also look deliriously
happy.”

“Well, why don’t you do both then? Right after you tell me
what you have to of course.”

“Once I tell you, you may only want the hug, which is fine,
I’m more than happy to have just a hug, I...”

“Bryce, just fucking tell me! You’re starting to piss me
off.” I narrowed my eyes at him and stood back. He ran his hands through his
hair, clenched his fists and twitched his eye.
Shit, all three in
succession, I better sit down.

“Fuck.” He growled. “Okay, come with me. I need to get you
away from this balustrade.” He led me into the lounge and sat me on the sofa,
then paced back and forth a few times before stopping and kneeling at my feet.
Just as he was about to say something Lucy walked through the door.

“Thank fuck, your timing couldn’t be better. Did you get
what you needed?”

“Yes, what I needed is in the foyer.”

“Good.” He turned back to me. “Okay, Hunny, I’m sorry you
have to hear this from me, but you have the right to know the truth. Shit, here
goes. I know you hate how we conduct creepy research but we do it for a reason.
We do it to protect ourselves and the ones we love, and we love you. Damn do we
love you. I love you more than it is fucking imaginable.” I smiled at him and
touched his face. “Hunny stop smiling at me. This hard enough to say to you as
it is already, let alone if you are smiling at me. When Rick said he didn’t
have the affair, I didn’t believe him, so I asked Lucy to dig deeper. I was
sure he was lying, things just didn’t add up.” I went to interrupt him, to tell
him he was a good judge of character, but he put his finger to my lips. “Please,
don’t stop me, Hunny. So, Lucy looked into his bank accounts and found he was
transferring money into Claire’s account every month, and has been doing it for
five years.” I tried to speak again, because I was now interested in finding
out just how much Rick had been paying her. He kissed my lips to prevent me
from speaking.
Where’s baby Alexander?
I scanned the room quickly
looking for the little adorable bundle of cuteness. I didn’t know where he was
and it was really bugging me. Bryce carried on talking while I searched for
Alexander. “I know, my love, I’m sorry, but I’m not done yet. So...” This time
I did interrupt.

“Lucy, where’s Alexander?” Both her and Bryce looked at each
other shocked, then back at me again.

“He’s upstairs asleep in his cot. Why?” She shook her head
rather briefly.

“Oh, no reason, I was just wondering where he was, that’s
all.”

“Alexis, are you listening to me?” Bryce put his hands on
either side of my head and turned me to face him.

“Yes, I’m listening. You didn’t believe Rick was telling the
truth, so you got Lucy to conduct more creepy research, she did, and found Rick
was paying Claire money to keep her mouth shut about their affair five years ago.
Yes, I’m listening.” He leaned back on his knees and stared wide eyed at me.
“Oh, by the way, how much was he paying her? I forgot to ask him that last
night.” Bryce looked at Lucy, who shot him a blank expression.

“$2,000 a month for five years.” She said slowly.

I started doing the math in my head.
So $2,000 times 12
equals $24,000 times 5 is around $125,000. Fuck, I really should’ve paid more
attention to our banking.

“Alexis, you already know?” Bryce asked slightly shocked.

“Yes, I told Rick last night that from the moment I spilt my
drink on you, I was yours. I told him that you and I just have something that
cannot be explained, that we were inevitable and that we still are, and always
will be.” Bryce’s jaw basically hit the floor. “Once Rick let that sink in, the
unbearable guilt he had held for five years just spilled out. He told me what
they did, why they did it, how she blackmailed him, how he paid her, how when
you came along with your offer he saw a solution, and he told me how sorry he
was for everything.” Both Lucy and Bryce sat there in silence. “It’s fine. I’m
fine. Rick is fine, well at least I think he is, I didn’t see him this morning
when he left for work.”

“He’s stayed at the house?”

“Yes, Bryce he did, and will continue to.” Bryce looked at
me worried. “He is sleeping in the spare room, and the kids have no idea. We
are going to tell them tonight, but for now he can stay in the spare room until
he finds a new place. It’s just easier that way.” I watched Bryce dissect
everything I had told him. He looked up to Lucy with pleading and desperate
eyes.

“Fuck, what do I do now, Luce?” He dropped his head in my
lap.

“Do about what?” I asked lifting his head. He had so much
regret in his eyes, there was more to the story, I could see it right there.

“Fuck, I have to tell you, Hunny. No more secrets, I
promised. The problem is, Rick doesn’t even know about this one.” He looked to
Lucy and nodded. She got up and headed into the foyer.

“Where’s she going?”

“To get Claire.”

I stood up. “Claire is fucking here?”

“Yes, and there’s someone...”

Lucy opened the door, and moved aside for Claire to walk in.
She looked different, somewhat grown up and more mature, tired even, and she
didn’t carry the self-righteousness like I remembered she had all those years
ago. My anger was bubbling near boiling point, I was just about to lose control
and hurl abuse at her when she put her hand down and encouraged a small child
to come out from behind her legs. His little innocent and slightly nervous eyes
met mine.
Oh my fucking God, he looks just like Rick!

***

I’m not exactly sure what happened next, well at least for a
few seconds anyway. My mind seemed to go into survival mode. I could imagine a
teeny tiny drill sergeant standing in the centre of my brain, barking orders,
telling some emotions to go this way and the others to go that way.
Right,
anger you go stand over there and keep at bay until told otherwise, understand
me? You, fear, yes you, you are no longer needed here, be on your way. Sadness
you pussy, bring yourself together and stand tall. Composure, you are going to
lead by example. Did you all hear me?
My inner drill sergeant blew his
teeny tiny whistle, snapping me back into reality.