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Authors: K.M. Golland

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“Mum, why don’t you love Dad
like a husband anymore?” He searched my face for a truth he knew was there but
was not being given to him. I knew that if I didn’t give him just a part of it,
he would feel hurt, and I didn’t want him to feel any more hurt than what he
was feeling at that moment.

“Nate, sometimes husbands and
wives do things that hurt each other, and when they do hurt each other it’s
hard to forgive them and love them as much as you used to.”

“Did Dad do something to hurt
you.”

He was going to find out soon
enough, so I guess preparing him just a little would not hurt. “Yes. he did,
darling. A long time ago, but he was sorry and he didn’t mean it. Then, I did something
to hurt him back. You see, it’s not good doing things to hurt each other, and that’s
why we need to move on.” He nodded and pressed his lips together as if to give
me the impression he understood. “Not much is really going to change, Nate. You
will still go to the same school every day, you will still go to the footy with
Dad. Hey I might still go with you too. Someone has to cheer the Mighty Bombers
on louder than Charli, don’t they?”

“I don’t think you are louder
than Charli.”

“I can be.” He smiled. “Do
you have anything else you want to ask me?”

“Are you going to marry Mr.
Cl...I mean Bryce one day?”

“Maybe, but that’s a long way
off. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“I’m not worried about that,
Mum, I was just wondering.” I gave him a huge hug; he wrapped his arms around
me and squeezed me tightly.

“I love you, my little man.”

“I’m not little.”

“No, you’re not, and you know
what? You’ve just proven that. Maybe I should call you my ‘big man’ or my
‘incredibly brave mature man’?” he rolled his eyes. “Can you do me a favour?”

“Yeah?”

“Help Charli understand if
she needs it. I have a feeling it might be hard for her.”

“Yeah, I know, Mum.”

***

We sat Charli down after
dinner and explained it to her. Of course she didn’t understand how Rick and I
didn’t love each other like that anymore. She cried when I said I would not
live here eventually, because she thought she would have to leave all of her
things behind. Nate had cuddled her and said that she would now have two lots
of everything, which brightened her eyes. He also told her she could have a
pony, which made me nearly pass out. I had to explain that ‘no, she could not
have a pony, unless it had the words ‘my little’ in front of it, was
approximately ten centimetres high, purple and smelled like grapes.

When I tucked Charli into bed
that night, she begged me to love Daddy again. It destroyed me internally
because it was just something I could not do, not in the way she wanted me to,
anyway. I told her that everything was going to be okay, although, I knew it
wouldn’t be for her, not for a long time, especially after RJ was introduced. I
decided I would call Claire when Rick was in the shower and tell her that the
time wasn’t right to tell Rick at the moment. I dialled the number Lucy gave me.

“Hello.”

“Claire, it’s Alexis.”

“Oh. Hi.”

“Listen, I think we should
wait to tell Rick.”

“You’ve decided you don’t
want to help me, haven’t you?”

“No. It’s not that at all. I
just don’t think it’s the right time to tell him. A lot is happening at the moment,
and we need to sort it out first, before he is told about RJ.”

“Yeah, I get it. It’s been
five years. What’s a few more months?”

“Claire, you were the one who
wanted to keep it from him, remember? Look, just let us sort out what we have
to first, then I’ll ring you. Probably in a few weeks.”

“I have a feeling you might
not ring me.”

“Claire, I promise you when
I’ve settled my children into this new chapter of their lives, I will help you
tell Rick about RJ. I said I’d help, even though it killed me to say that, and
I’m true to my word. So, I’ll help. Just sit tight for now, please. The least
you can do for me is wait a little longer.”

“Okay, Alexis. I’ll wait until
I hear from you.”

I hung up the phone then sunk
on the bed.
Fuck, my head just cannot take anymore.

“Alexis?” Rick was at my
door. “Who’s RJ?”
Oh, shit!

 

CHAPTER
TWENTY-NINE

If there was ever a time I
wanted the earth to just open up and swallow me whole, it would have been then.
The crazy emotional series of weeks that have led me to that point could have
been a top rated episode on Jerry Springer.
Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, thank you,
thank you, today on the show we are talking to Alexis. She has been told by her
husband that he’s had an affair. Ooooooo. So, she went and fell in love with a
billionaire, only to find out that her husband lied. Oooooooo, I know. But
Alexis found out it wasn’t a lie, and today she has brought him here to the
show to tell him that the woman he had an affair with has a five-year-old son
to him. Jerry, Jerry, Jerry.

“Alexis?”

“Yes.”

“Who is RJ, and why were you
talking to Claire?” He took a few steps closer, looking like he was ready to
lose his shit at me.

“Sit down, Rick.” He ignored
me, so I said it again, harshly. “Sit down, Rick.” This time he did. “Now,
before I even start with who RJ is, you need to understand I only found out
myself on Monday. I wanted to wait a few days to tell you, only because so much
has happened in the last few days let alone in the past few weeks. I thought it
was best to let things settle a bit before this particular shit hit the fan
again.”

“Alexis, who that fuck is
RJ?”

“RJ, is Rick Junior. He’s
yours and Claire’s five-year-old son.” I watched the colour completely drain
from his face until he was practically transparent. His mouth was agape, and
any fight or fury he had in him had completely vanished, what was left was a
man who’s entire inner core had been torn from him and only an empty shell was
left. I touched his hand which was limp on his lap. He slowly met my gaze with
his own, and his eyes filled with tears. “Claire found out she was pregnant
shortly after you told her you had made a mistake and she wanted to end it. She
didn’t want to cause any more trouble than she already had, so she decided to
raise him on her own.”

“How?”

“How what, Rick?”

“How did you find out?”

“Lucy.”

“Oh.” He didn’t question how
Lucy found out; he just accepted it and dropped his head back down.

“I’ve met him, Rick.” His
eyes darted back up to mine. He looked so confused, it was heartbreaking. “He
looks just like you, he has your eyes.”

“My eyes?” I could see the colour
return to his face with a red flush of anger as the realisation of what he had
missed started to sink in. “I have a five-year-old son, who has my eyes?” He
stood up and punched the wall, leaving a mighty big hole in the plaster and bloody
cuts on his knuckles. “Fuck!” He stormed out of the room and grabbed his car
keys.

“No, Rick.” I ran after him
and snatched them back. I pushed him outside to the pergola area. “Shit, I know
this is a terrible shock, trust me I know, but there is no use in driving to
Claire’s and hurling anger at her in front of your son. You need to calm down. Sit,
I’ll get you a drink and some ice for that hand.” I walked back inside, my
heart pumping in my chest. I fixed him a bourbon and Coke and grabbed some ice
and a tea towel for his hand. I went to sit down when my phone buzzed in my
pocket. I pulled it out and there was a text from Bryce.

 

How did it go with kids?

I miss u like fucking crazy xo - Bryce

 

“Excuse me, Rick I won’t be a
second.” I walked back inside and typed a response.

 

Hey, I miss u 2. But now is not a good time.

Rick found out bout RJ, trying to explain it to him xo -
Alexis

 

Do u need me 2 come over there, I’ll take the chopper. - Bryce

 

Oh Fuck no.

No, thank u. I’ve got this. It’s fine.

I’ll ring you later. I love u xo - Alexis

 

Ok, but if u do, just let me know.

I love u more xo - Bryce

 

I walked back outside. Rick didn’t ask who the text was
from, but he knew, I could see it in his face. He had wrapped his fist in the
ice and tea towel, so I walked over to take a look.

“Give me your hand.” He offered it to me, so I unfolded the
towel to look at his knuckles. They were cut, but nothing that a bit of ice,
pain killer medication, and rest wouldn’t fix. “Lucky for you, the wall came
out second best.” I sat back down. “Rick, I understand you are angry, but from
what Claire explained to me the other day, she was young, scared, and ashamed
of what she did, and she did not want to ruin our family. That’s why she chose
not to tell you. Listen, I am not making excuses for her, trust me that’s the
last thing I would do. But you have to put that little boy first. He is
innocent in all of this and does not deserve his father, a father he has never
known, going over there and yelling at his mother. You need to keep calm around
him, Rick.”

“I know, Alexis, I’m not stupid.”

I raised my eyebrows at him.
Yeah, well I beg to differ.
If you weren’t stupid we would not be sitting here having this conversation.

“If I were you, which I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be, I
would drink that drink slowly, then give Claire a call and speak with her
calmly.” I’m going to have a bath. “Are you good?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Good.”
The camera pans up close to Jerry Springer’s
face, ‘take care of yourselves, aaaannd each other’.

***

Rick had decided to call Claire the next day, and they
arranged to meet for coffee that morning which apparently had gone well as Rick
was now set to meet RJ for the first time the next day. I decided that seeing
as Rick was about to meet his son for the first time, I would give him the
space, and have the kids stay with me at the apartment that evening.

I’m not sure who was more nervous about the whole sleepover
though, because when I had rang Bryce that afternoon, he had been asking all
sorts of questions like, ‘what’s their favourite food?’, and ‘what Wii games
does Nate like?’, ‘does Charli need any specific ‘girly’ type accessories?’. I had
laughed at him and asked if his ‘creepy research’ abilities had diminished,
then hoped he hadn’t taken it literally because he said he would be calling
Lucy after he hung up.
He better not have!

***

Nate seemed quite calm about the idea, although I could tell
he was a little nervous as he had been fidgeting in the front seat of the car.
Charli had been asking questions the whole drive, wanting to know everything
about the apartment, like where was the toilet, where would she be sleeping,
and where would I be sleeping. I seemed to be the only one who was relaxed and
looking forward to it, I knew the kids would love it there and it was all about
to start right now.

“Nate, I have a little surprise for you.”

“What?”

“Well, when I turn this corner and pull into Bryce’s private
garage, you are going to have a fit. Are you ready?” He looked at me anxiously,
half expecting something to fall from the sky and land on his head, but also
half expecting the fallen object to be something amazing. I turned the corner,
and as I expected, Nate went into awed nine-year-old boy mode, pressing up
against the window of the car as we drove past Bryce’s extensive car collection.

“Sick! This Sick! Totally the Sickest!” he babbled.

“Wow, they are so pretty. Lots of different colours like a
rainbow.” Charli was also pressed up against the window. I parked the Charger
and Nate was out of the car like a rocket.

“Don’t touch!” I yelled out after him.

“Of course he can touch.” Bryce had been waiting for us in
the garage, and if my eyes didn’t deceive me, I would definitely say he was as
nervous as hell. “Hi Charli, how are you?”

“I’m good and bad.”
At least she’s being honest, good
girl Charli bear.
She looked at me and I gave her a reassuring smile. “I
like your cars. They remind me of a rainbow.”

“Do you like rainbows?” Bryce quickly asked.
Oh God,
what’s he going to do, try and buy her a freaking rainbow?

“Yes, they are my favourite. Mum, can I go and have a look
at the gold one?”

“Yes, just be careful.” She ran off.

“So, Mr. Clark, how are you coping?”

“Coping? I’m coping just fine, Ms. Summers.” He lowered his
voice. “Although, I desperately want to taste those lips of yours right now.”
We had discussed no public displays of affection in front of the kids during
their first visit. I didn’t want to upset them, and I believed baby steps were
the key.

“You’re just going to have to control yourself, Mr. Clark.”

He groaned and grabbed Nate and Charlie’s little suitcases
from the car.

“Awww, Sick! I love this one!” Nate had stopped at the
McLaren alongside Charli.

“We can go for a ride in it, if you like?” Bryce was quick
to offer.

“Yeah?”

“Let’s go up to the apartment first. Then we’ll talk about
joyrides, Okay.” I said firmly, before the three of them went driving around
town.

BOOK: B00BR2BOUU EBOK
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