Baby Buddies: A BWWM Pregnancy Romance (2 page)

Her friend Owen was the only person she could talk to when she felt down about her life. They’d been friends since childhood and he’d been the one to encourage her to apply for college and follow her dreams when they were teens. The years they’d spent apart while he had been out of state studying veterinary medicine and she had stayed behind to study design had been some of the hardest of her life. Now they saw each other at least once a week and she would complain about Jakob’s latest misdemeanor and Owen would tell her about how he’d had to operate on yet another dog that had eaten one-too-many shoelaces.

Her best friend was always the first person she’d call when Jakob was acting out of line, and he never failed to make her feel better. Owen knew her better than anyone else, after all. She remembered with fondness all the mischief and play of their youth. It had all begun with childish chatter over the fence that had separated their lawns and then grown into play dates. As they grew older, play dates became intense study sessions and as they got older still, study sessions had become being each other’s alibis in order to sneak out to a party together.

As if reading her mind, Owen’s name was the next that Hannah mentioned. They had become so engrossed in their conversation by now that Hannah had come around behind the desk and drawn up a chair at Anaya’s side, crossing one leg over the other and picking up a cookie as if they were in some coffee shop rather than the reception of their work office.

“What about that cute blonde guy you spend so much time with?” Hannah asked. “Owen, isn’t it? You two have always seemed close.”

“We’re really close,” Anaya nodded. “We’ve just never looked at each other in that way.”

“Why not?” Hannah pressed. “He seems to have his act together. He’s handsome and seems very sweet. You’re always telling me about all the nice things he does for you. For every bad thing you have to say about Jakob, you have a hundred nice things to say about Owen.”

Anaya blushed at her words. It was not the first time that someone had asked her why she had never dated Owen and it was always hard for her to answer.

“Owen’s great, but we’ve known each other too long,” she explained. “He’s like a brother to me. It’s hard to look romantically at the guy who held back your hair when you were puking after your first night drinking or whom you’ve told every embarrassing detail of your life to. Some things are meant to be kept hidden. You want a man to look at you and see perfection. Owen has seen way too much of me when I’m a mess. No, being with Owen would just be too weird.”

Chapter2

Nothing romantic had ever happened between Anaya and Owen and she wouldn’t have had it any other way. Men were trouble when sex was involved, and Anaya was grateful that there was a man in her life who was constant and sure. Owen was always there for her when she needed him and she valued that greatly. She valued it far too much to ever risk dating him and losing that security of a sure friend, although she’d never looked at Owen in that way anyway.

“Maybe at first you want to keep some things hidden, like puking for example, but eventually what you want in life is a guy who takes you warts and all. I think it would be a huge relief to know that a guy had already seen the worst in me and was still interested,” Hannah commented.

“Owen’s not interested in me like that,” Anaya assured her. “We’re just friends.”

In fact, Owen had offered to take her out that night for her birthday, but for once Jakob had stepped in with a romantic gesture and had told her that he was going to take her for dinner and then dancing. Jakob’s offer had made Anaya smile. One of the first dates they’d ever shared had been dinner and dancing. It had been the college’s winter ball and Jakob had taken her to dinner before they’d arrived together at the dance. That had been back when Jakob was a satisfied man; satisfied with his own accomplishments and satisfied with her. They had danced all night to the sound of a live band and she’d felt like she was the only person Jakob could see that night. She’d felt beautiful.

It had been such a long time since Jakob had last looked at her with that kind of affection and appreciation and Anaya was hopeful that a night that would remind him of that winter’s ball would help him to see her as he had then and they would dance the night away. It saddened her every time that she considered how far they had drifted off course.

“Well, I think that you should think about him again,” Hannah advised. “A lot of girls would kill to have a guy treat them as kindly as Owen treats you.”

“I’m with Jakob,” Anaya reminded her. “I love Jakob.”

She was surprised to hear the doubt in her own voice and scolded herself inwardly for thinking even for a moment that she didn’t love Jakob. It wasn’t that long ago when they had loved each other above everything else and had been enthralled by one another. Anaya couldn’t pinpoint the precise moment that Jakob had begun to grow frustrated with her more often than he was enamored with her. It had been more of a gradual process than any one particular fight or disagreement that had made them disconnect. Anaya was aware that they were disconnecting, but she had come to accept that a constant to-ing and fro-ing was just the way that a relationship with Jakob was always going to be. She knew that she would have to be distant from him often in order to also be with him in those scarce moments of closeness when she remembered why she loved him. It was the reason that Anaya was so desperately looking forward to that evening and having some rare alone time with her boyfriend in a romantic setting. She had even designed a dress for the occasion and spent all weekend bringing it to life. The dress was in that particular shade of blue that Jakob said suited her so well and she was going to wear her hair up in that way he loved because it exposed her slender neck.

Anaya felt sometimes that perhaps it was her fault that she and Jakob were not as fascinated by each other now as they had been. After all, when he had first met her she had been twenty years old and had been perfect in her youth. She was still young, but her college love for short skirts and too much mascara had been replaced with the demure fashion sense of a sophisticated woman and she wondered if when he looked at her now he still saw her as that sexy young thing she had been, rather than as the dull receptionist she had become. She hoped that this dress would turn back time. It was designed especially for her body and Anaya knew that she looked beautiful in that dress. She couldn’t wait for Jakob to see her in it and for a moment, forget all his own disappointments and remember that he had the affections of a good woman that he had once adored.

“It sounds to me like you’re trying to convince yourself,” Hannah said knowingly. “Maybe it’s not a case of the spark being gone but that you two just aren’t right for each other.”

“We’ve been together far too long for that to be true,” Anaya replied. “A relationship doesn’t last eight years if there’s nothing good in it, does it?”

“I don’t know,” Hannah replied, holding up her hands in a dismissive gesture. “I’ll get back to you after I’ve managed to get someone to be with me for eight years.”

The day dragged by, but Anaya could smile knowing that at the end of it she would celebrate turning twenty-eight with a man who had put other things aside to be with her. This was the one thing that Anaya craved above everything else in her relationship with Jakob. She simply wanted to be his first choice sometimes. His mind was so often in some physics problem or work issue that he would listen to her in the evening with eyes that quickly glazed over and he would nod and make it seem like he cared, but Anaya could tell that he was always somewhere else. She understood that he had important work and that a man in his position had many things to think about, but she was still excited for a night that was just about her.

After a long wait, the day was done and Anaya rushed into the office bathroom to get changed. As the silk brushed against her skin and Anaya looked at herself in the bathroom mirror she was even surprised herself at how beautiful she appeared there. She had become so accustomed to dressing for her job at the reception desk and never going out anywhere special that she couldn’t remember the last time she had dressed to impress. It made her smile once more when she thought of Jakob seeing her and maybe feeling lucky to have her for once. Hannah caught sight of Anaya as she was putting on her coat and gasped with admiration.

“Anaya!” she exclaimed. “You look stunning. Where are you headed?”

“Jakob is picking me up for dinner and dancing,” Anaya beamed. “Do I look all right?”

“You look incredible. Jakob is a lucky man.”

Her words gave Anaya another rush of excitement and she felt her anticipation for Jakob’s arrival growing. When he saw her in that dress, she knew that he wouldn’t be able to tear his eyes away and perhaps, just for once, they could have a lovely evening together like a normal, happy couple rather than as an egoist and his groupie.

“What’s the occasion?” Hannah asked her.

“It’s my birthday,” Anaya told her.

Hannah’s face fell and she put a hand to her head in guilt. “I had no idea, Anaya!” she gasped. “Why didn’t you tell us so that we could get a cake in?”

Anaya laughed. “I didn’t want a fuss this year,” she said. “Honestly, nothing could be a better gift than some romantic time alone with Jakob. It’s been too long since we’ve made some real time for each other.”

“Well, have an amazing time, Anaya,” Hannah said. “You deserve it.”

Hannah and the other writers and editors left and Anaya put on her coat and locked up the offices for the night. She headed outside in her dress, her heels, and her coat, and waited expectantly for Jakob to pull up at the curb to take her for dinner. She couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she stood patiently on the sidewalk. She imagined the perfect evening ahead of her. Jakob would show up dressed in a suit and would smile when he saw her. Perhaps he would have brought her roses for her birthday. He would take her to the kind of restaurant where wine was tasted before it was chosen and there were three sets of silver and they would reminisce over old times as they toasted college years. Then with a giddy head and a happy heart, he would take her somewhere to dance and then as the night came to the end a slow song would come on and they would dance close together... A happy sigh escaped from Anaya’s lips as she fantasized about a glorious evening. It was cold that night and Anaya’s breaths began to turn to frost in the air. She wondered if it was the cold that made it feel like Jakob was taking so long to get here.

She checked her watch. He was ten minutes late. Still, that wasn’t unusual for Jakob. He had never been the most punctual of men. He was one of those people who felt that everybody should wait for him. Anaya frowned as she waited for him. She was not another one of his business peers and it irritated her that he had no respect for her time even on her birthday. Already she could feel her fantasy slipping away from her and with each painful minute that ticked by she felt all her hopes and expectations being crushed a little more. Each second that he kept her waiting made it less likely that they would be able to salvage the evening. Anaya knew from experience with Jakob that a night that started in anger always ended in a fight.

The birthday girl waited another ten minutes before pulling out her cell phone to call her boyfriend. It went straight to voicemail. Anaya took deep breaths and willed herself to be patient. Even if he was late, he’d still made the effort after all, she told herself. Anaya began to pace the pavement in front of the magazine’s offices to ward off the cold. It wasn’t a nice part of town and she didn’t feel comfortable standing there on her own as it grew later. A man in a dirty overcoat on the opposite side of the street was looking at her from the corner of his eye and Anaya didn’t want to be on that street any more. Jakob was now forty minutes late and after three more calls, he still hadn’t answered her.

At last, with tears in her eyes, Anaya gave in and called a taxi to take her home. She felt so stupid to be standing there in a dress and high heels that Jakob would never see, with tears streaming down her face. Anybody who looked at her would know that she was a woman who had put herself out there for a guy. She couldn’t believe that this had happened again. It was not so long ago that she had Jakob had sat down and had a heart-to-heart discussion about their relationship and he had sworn to make more of an effort. That had been when she’d won a runner-up prize in a fashion design competition and he’d showed up an hour late to the awards ceremony, drunk because he’d been out drinking with potential clients. Anaya had forgiven him then, but she swore to herself that this time she wouldn’t let it go. Forgiving Jakob seemed to be all she ever did. There was no time to enjoy his company or love him because all she did was spend her time hearing his apologies and being foolish enough to take him back. When she thought about it, Jakob had been absent for every meaningful moment in Anaya’s life; she’d simply held her tongue and let it happen again and again because even if Jakob showed up late and wasted, it was better than there being nobody there at all.

She knew that he didn’t respect her profession. Her boyfriend had such an inflated ego and belief in his own brilliance and importance in the world because he was a scientist that he’d always belittled her dreams. After all, what did pretty dresses matter to a physicist? It had always hurt her feelings when he had abandoned her in her victories because they didn’t matter to him and now even her birthday meant nothing to him. Yet again Jakob had let her down.

Anaya arrived back at her apartment and rushed to her bedroom in tears to take off her dress and throw it in the bottom of the closet. She looked at the crumpled heap of blue silk and felt her cheeks flame with embarrassment that she had gone to all the effort of making something beautiful for Jakob’s sake. She caught sight of her own tear-stained face in the mirror and remembered how she’d felt beautiful just for a brief moment that day and it made her feel even worse. She was a fool to have thought that Jakob would have remembered her that night and even more foolish to think that she could regain his attention with a pretty dress. Her status in the world was simply not of enough importance to matter to that man.

She had no idea where he was, but she imagined that he was consulting with some firm or another, helping engineers to build another turbine, or improving the efficiency of nuclear fusion, or creating an algebraic equation for world peace or doing whatever vital thing a physicist must do at 9:00 pm on a Friday night to make him miss his girlfriend’s birthday. When she had been younger, she had hung on Jakob’s every word when he’d spoken about his work. She had idolized him then. Yet, as the years had crawled by, she’d begun to become less and less interested in hearing him talk about himself. All his boastful stories of how he’d silenced a room with his brilliance or saved the world from catastrophe had started to bore her, and she knew that this was why he had grown bored with her. He had enjoyed the attentions of a young girl who had thought he was everything and grew frustrated with Anaya when she didn’t give him such praise and attention just as he grew frustrated with everyone else.

The upset woman pulled on her robe and curled up on her bed. She looked at the phone and considered calling Owen, but then felt another twinge of embarrassment at the idea. When she’d turned down his invitation for dinner to go out with Jakob instead, Owen had sighed and raised his eyebrows. Her best friend hated her boyfriend and Anaya understood why. It was Owen that she turned to every time that Jakob let her down or hurt her feelings and over the years she must have cried on Owen’s shoulder a thousand times over Jakob. The veterinarian was exasperated with her and asked why she stayed with him.

It was a difficult question to answer. Part of the reason was habit. Anaya had been with Jakob for so long now that it was hard to imagine being with anyone else. In many ways she loved him for old times’ sake. Even when he let her down time and time again or laughed at her dreams, she still couldn’t hate him. When she looked at Jakob all she ever saw was that popular, confident PhD student who could have had anyone but chose her. She saw that man whose eyes had lit up when he saw her that night at the winter’s ball and the man whose eyes had lit up in the same way countless nights during their time going to school together at the university. It was only after they graduated and Jakob found that life wasn’t going his way that those lights had gone out.