Baby Buddies: A BWWM Pregnancy Romance (9 page)

“It’s not a good start to a new relationship,” he agreed.

“You’ve always had a hard time meeting women,” Anaya said. “I thought she was really good for you. I’m sorry that it’s all blown up like this.”

Anaya said the right things and consoled Owen the same way that he had consoled her a thousand times before. She had learned from his example not to go rushing in with proclamations of love when your friend was reeling from a breakup. There was no evidence to suggest that Owen felt anything for her other than affection as a friend and fondness for her as the mother of his daughter. To go in there now saying that she’d gladly take Lisa’s place and be with him would seem too desperate and the timing was just so wrong. She held her tongue and asked him if he wanted to watch a movie instead. Owen smiled and sat down.

They began watching another romantic comedy, but neither were in the right mind frame for the soppy love scenes and overblown romantic gestures. Owen rolled his eyes when the protagonist fell to pieces because her crush had taken another girl to the dance.

“These are people with real problems,” he joked.

Anaya laughed. “Oh God, I would
love
it if my biggest problem was not being invited to prom.”

“I did invite you to prom,” Owen reminded her. “My high school had its prom the same night as yours and so you went with Michael Pearson instead. Remember?”

“Michael Pearson...” Anaya recalled with a chuckle. “He was awful. He ditched me at the end of the night to go to McDonalds with his mates and I got a taxi home. I’ve always been good at picking them though, haven’t I?”

“At least you’ve given it a go,” Owen told her. “I went to the prom alone and that’s pretty much how dating went for me ever since.”

Anaya turned to him with tender eyes and looked once more at her best friend. Every time she looked at him now, she saw the man he had become rather than the boy he had been when they were young. She saw his strong muscles and kind eyes and sandy hair and could only feel love and attraction for him. That easy comfort that they’d always had between them had become something much deeper for Anaya since their night together which was hard to put into words. She leaned forward as if to kiss him, but then remembered how much trouble that had got her into last time and held back. Owen perceived the moment and weighed his options.

The last time he had slept with Anaya it had been a drunken rebound. Now he had the opportunity to be with her when they were both sober and had a child between them. Perhaps this was the chance he’d been waiting for to make her see him not as that chubby-cheeked boy next door, but as a man who could take care of her, her child and her needs. Against his better judgment and every promise he’d made to himself, he leaned forward to start the kiss that Anaya had shied away from.

She felt butterflies in her stomach when his lips pressed against hers and she shut her eyes as she swooned at the sensation. All the hectic things slowed down in his kiss and all the wrong things felt right. All the reasons not to be with him disappeared and all she cared about was staying in that moment with him and feeling loved and wanted. She knew that they were making the same mistakes all over again. Last time he had been her rebound and now she was his, but it didn’t seem to stop either of them from letting things heat up.

Anaya didn’t know that for Owen this wasn’t a rebound, but that she was the one he’d wanted all along. For her, she was pushing down her true affections for him because she thought he was just trying to find an escape from the pain of a breakup and Owen believed that she was just reciprocating his advances because she was feeling alone. Even though the reasons that both had in their mind for why the other was returning that kiss were wrong and misguided, it didn’t stop them both from continuing to make what was no doubt another mistake. They both knew that they were long past the point of worrying about whether a steamy night would damage their friendship. They’d proven that their friendship could survive just about anything.

Owen’s eyes traveled to his daughter who had fallen asleep in the crib and, wanting to be discreet with his child in the apartment, he scooped Anaya up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom, pushing the door shut behind them with his foot. Anaya giggled as he lay her down on the bed and unlike the last time that they had made love when they had both been drunk from the alcohol and not wholly aware of what they were doing, this time every fiber of her being was crying out for his closeness and knowing full well what she was doing. Owen laid her down on the covers and Anaya pulled him toward her and they continued to kiss deeply and passionately. It seemed that they were both giving in to something profound and sensual and Anaya didn’t understand how a rebound kiss could feel so loving and warm.

This time they were both much more aware of their passion and of their emotions and desires, and as their mouths moved over each other, licking, sucking, teasing, and pleasing one another, their inhibitions vanished as they had before and it suddenly became the most natural thing in the world for him to cup her breasts and bite at her nipples, and for her to run her tongue and fingers over his erection, drawing gasps and sighs from him as she closed her lips around his thickness and sucked hard at him until he almost released himself in her, only to stop in time so that she could spread her thighs and move them over his legs, lowering herself down over his erection until it filled her and they moved together in abandoned passion.

They wrestled and rolled in the sheets, loving each other until they both came together, and then fell into peace in one another’s arms, knowing that their bodies and hearts were in tune with one another.

The nature of their embarrassment was slightly different the second time around. This time the looks that they exchanged after the act were the cheeky glances of frisky teenagers whose parents were nearly home. Their flushed glances were full of mischief and excitement. Owen didn’t leave with an awkward half-hug and a confused expression, but kissed her goodbye even though they both knew this had been a one-time thing.

“Let’s not let this affect our friendship,” he joked.

Anaya broke into laughter. “I think we’re beyond that now.”

Owen reached out and brushed back her hair from her face lovingly. He sighed deeply.

“I wish things were simpler,” he said. “Can I see you and Zoë tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

After he had departed, the two were left to process fresh new feelings over a fresh new event. Owen felt exhilarated that he had finally had the kind of passionate encounter with Anaya that he’d been dreaming of since he’d been a teen, but frustrated and disappointed that she still hadn’t asked him to stay with her or opened up about the bigger questions whose answers were still unspoken. He left her apartment not knowing if their lovemaking had been just another rebound, or a sign that something more meaningful was growing between them. He wished that he had a way to read Anaya’s mind and know if she was just looking for comfort or if she was starting to feel more strongly for him. Owen didn’t want to let himself get carried away with hoping because until Anaya confessed her feelings out loud, he could only assume that they’d progressed to friends with benefits a second time and nothing more.

Anaya was frustrated with herself. Since falling pregnant with Zoë and seeing Owen as a sexual man and as a father, she’d found herself falling more and more deeply in love with him. She’d known it was love for some time now, but had been denying it even to herself because the situation was just getting more and more complicated and lying to herself felt like the only way to keep ahead above water. Now that he’d walked out the door without her telling him that she never wanted him to leave again, Anaya felt like she was drowning.

Her best friend had come to mean the world to her. Owen was kind and patient and loving and everything that she’d ever been looking for in a man. She’d allowed herself to be blinded to his qualities by staring too long at another man who spoke more loudly and who commanded so much more attention than her quiet, shy Owen. It was his shyness and his quiet manner that had allowed her to overlook him for so long, but as soon as he’d stepped up to his duties as a father she’d seen all the strength in him that lay beneath the surface. Jakob had the kind of mannerism that made you think he could do anything at all when in reality he was a silly man who could barely keep his own goals in sight. Owen went through life steadily and determinedly, quietly achieving his goals and working hard to pull others up with him rather than dragging people down like Jakob did.

The designer wished that she had noticed Owen for who he was sooner and scolded herself for having been dazzled by a man who was able to appear strong when he was weak at the expense of a man who appeared weak but was strong. When she thought back over her life, she realized that it was Owen who had been there for her at every turn. It was Owen who had celebrated with her each one of her successes and it was Owen who had put her back together again after each of her defeats. Owen had already walked through so much of her life with her and Anaya had never had cause to feel disappointed in him or angry or hurt. They’d had a perfect twenty years together as friends and her heart told her that if she could only make him his then they could have plenty more perfect years together as lovers.

She hadn’t spoken these things to him because she knew that she’d been distant too long. How would it appear if she had never paid him any attention before and then suddenly fell at his feet the moment she was alone with a baby? Anaya felt that if she professed any kind of love for him now that it could only be interpreted as desperation and, knowing Owen, he would drop everything to take care of her because that was who he was. Poor Owen had been single for so long and Anaya had been so glad for him when Lisa had seemed to make him happy. She didn’t know that she’d be able to bear the guilt of breaking them up because she felt overwhelmed. Owen would do anything for her, she knew, but if he ever came to her to be her partner, she’d want it to be because he loved her and not because he was trying to do the right thing.

Anaya cried over him for many nights. Every time her thoughts turned to him she would well up again. She’d read so many stories and seen so many movies about the shy best friend who’d been overlooked until the very end of the story when she would magically take notice of him and find her happy ending, but her own happy ending seemed very unlikely. She’d ignored him now for far too long and the situation had become far too messy for her to make a move now. All she could do was go on and hope that one day he would find his way to her in love.

*

Owen had been spending more and more time at the gym since his break up with Lisa and second night with Anaya. He was searching for some kind of escape from the restlessness and disappointment within him. He had really hoped that after another night with Anaya that she would talk to him one day and tell her that she’d felt it too; that spark between them that Owen felt was impossible to ignore. He thought she’d find a way to tell him that she could tell he was madly in love with her and that she wanted to be more than just friends. She could have said it in any way or at any time. All Owen wanted to hear was that she loved him.

As the days went by, and Anaya didn’t show up at his door to tell him that she wanted something more, and she did as she had done before and didn’t mention the night again, Owen had to accept that the night had been another one night stand they’d shared just to make each other feel better.

Owen didn’t feel better. He felt hurt and confused and more desperate for Anaya than ever. He was trying to be strict with himself and resist bringing up their passionate nights together in conversation and even trying to banish the memories from his mind. If Anaya didn’t want to be with him that way, then he had to find a way to remove himself from her because if he found himself being so close to her again without being able to tell her that he loved her, he was sure that he would go mad. It was the greatest torment of his life to have Anaya’s body, which was phenomenal, but not to have her heart, which was his true desire.

He ran faster and faster on the treadmill to try and make thoughts of Anaya disperse and he jumped a mile when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He slowed down the pace of his machine and came to a stop, unplugging his headphones from his ears and turning to see Lisa standing behind him. He was silent for a moment. He hadn’t spoken to Lisa since they had argued and he didn’t know what to say to her now.

“Hi,” he said at last.

“Hi,” Lisa said. She was looking good. She was as beautiful as ever and she looked at him with longing eyes and an uncertain expression.

“You haven’t called me,” she said eventually.

“I didn’t think you’d want to speak to me,” Owen confessed.

“I think we should talk,” Lisa told him.

Owen nodded in agreement and they arranged to meet in the sports café upstairs after he had showered. He headed to the changing room to wash off, got changed and then met Lisa at a table in the café. He waited for Lisa to start speaking first. She seemed to know what she was going to say.

“I’m not happy that you hid your child from me, but I can understand why you did it,” she told him.

“You can?” Owen replied with surprise.

“It would have put a lot of pressure on a new relationship and we were getting on really well,” Lisa analyzed. “It must have been a hard thing to bring up when you knew it could end the relationship before it began.”